Chapter 3

Aunt Aggie insisted on driving me again this morning, but I didn't care. I was in too good a mood. I don't know why but after yesterday's meeting with Nathaniel I had a light bubbly feeling, and I was ridding that high when I saw my little nerd walking alone.

"Aunty I can make it from here," I told her jumping out of the car. Again she was driving like two miles an hour. I ran after Ken and like Nathaniel did yesterday, I slung my arm around his shoulder. "Hi-ya handsome, where were you yesterday," I asked in my good mood. Of course Ken was flustered.

"A-Amy y-y-you noticed I was gone," he said, blinking like a thousand times.

"Of course, I'm so used to having you around all the time, I worry about you," I told him honestly leaning my head against his. I couldn't help it I had been protecting Ken since the day we met. While he was here within the reach of my arms I felt this need to protect him.

"Oh," he said sounding disappointed. I still had my arm hanging over his shoulder when we turned the corner to the courtyard. "Hey you should spend lunch with me and a couple of friends, okay, promise," I winked at him and headed off to an empty set of benches to stealthily adjust my knee brace. I had on a loose pair of pants today so no one would notice. I yanked them up to tighten my straps. Someone sat down next to me.

"Hey you're the new girl right," it was a voice I didn't recognize. I looked up but I didn't recognize his face either. The boy was very pale with a few freckles doting his face and a pair of shocking ice blue eyes. Framing his face was jet black hair cut into a faux hawk.

"Uh yeah I'm Am-"

"Amarantha right," he held out his hand and shook mine vigorously.

"Uh Amy, I, my name is Amy," oh no how did he know my name.

"Oh anyway I was just wondering if you wanted to go do something later on behind the school, I know this super private place no one goes," he leaned in and grabbed my hand.

"What are you doing!?" I snatched my hand from him.

"Hey if it makes you interested I already have a girlfriend,"

"What the heck!" I got up immediately. "You're disgusting,"

"Me? Coming from the girl who sleeps around with other chicks boyfriends I'd say you're the disgusting one,"

"Wh-what are you even talking about you jerk!"

"You can't play dumb now everybody in school knows about it,"

"About what," I could hear my snippiness seeping into my voice.

"About how you were… in your last school," he smirked mischievously. I had a bad feeling about this.

"What do you mean how I was?" I asked. He simply smiled at me and shrugged his shoulders.

"You'll find out soon enough," then he got up and started to leave. "If you ever change your mind about do'n it just come find me,"

"Yeah right," I yelled.

"All I heard was, yeah!" he yelled back jokingly.

"UGH!" I stormed off to the side entrance.

That's when I saw it, hanging over the door a huge paper banner of me and Ken with hearts all around us, saying The Nerd birds of Sweet Amoris high. Honestly I wouldn't put is past Ken to have done this but the simple fact that that blonde girl had used the phrase nerd birds like a thousand times gave me an answer to who the real culprit was. Everyone in the courtyard was staring and laughing the atmosphere was just too heavy for me I had to get away, so ran into the school building.

Inside was worse that girl had taped up hundreds of other crudely Photo shopped pictures of me. As I looked around I could see the words, Loser, Bitch, and Ho glaring out from a few of the fliers. I had started to wonder where she'd gotten the pictures from when I saw one I recognized. Nathaniel's revenge picture. Except that the place where Nathaniel's head should be was replaced with Ken's. A girl came running up to me with a microphone in hand and shoved it in my face.

"Amarantha Briggs why did you lie about your name? Is it true that at your old school you used to seduce other girls boyfriends for fun? What is your relationship with other new student Kentin Moore?" the girl asked firing off question after question.

"What," I managed to ask between a couple of questions. She showed me a flier. It was my picture with the word Slut written across the top in red letters. On the back I had a quote from someone saying, yeah I went to school with Amy she's a total fake. She was always trying to get with other girls boyfriends and the second she did she'd dump them and move on to the next boy she was a complete ho. She had to change schools cause everyone was ready to kill her.

I pulled another flier off the wall this one said Two-Faced. You better watch out this girl and I were really good friends till Amy came along she-, I pulled another off of the wall Amy's bad news it said and the next she's a liar! And another SLUT!

"That's not true," I whispered to myself. When I looked up my eyes locked with the blonde. She smiled looking satisfied. I warned you, she mouthed. I looked around at all the people in the hall the crowd's faces were a mixture of disgust, anger, laughter and a few lewd gestures were made. Some guys smiled and hooted and a few girls laughed.

"We don't want a girl like this in our school," a girl yelled.

"Speak for yourself! I want a girl like her in our school," a boy called. People laughed.

While I was staring at the crowd someone shoved me, knocking me up against something- I think a ladder- it knocked a bucket over my head and a thick goo covered my head. I threw off the bucket and touched my hair. It looked and smelled like Elmer's glue.

"Woo!" someone hooted.

"Looks good on you!" Another shouted.

Then the door flew open and in came Nathaniel dragging something behind him.

"Amber!" he shouted and then he noticed me standing there.

"You," I said in a pitiful whisper. I had meant for it to be a loud yell I wanted to scream and curse at him from the top of my lung, and tell him what to shove and where to put it and where he could go after words but l was too hurt. "Traitor," was all I managed to get out before running down the hall. So this is what that boy meant when he said everybody knew what I was like at my other school he meant everybody was buying into that girls lies.

I pushed my way through the densely packed crowd of students who pushed and kicked me some even pulled at my clothes and hair while they laughed.

"Wait! Amy Wait!" Over their laughs and calls I could hear Nathaniel calling to me to wait. No way was I listening. Had he been planning this with that girl all along? Is that why he said I needed a picture for my ID. What was that girl to him anyway if she liked Castiel so much? These questions and more ran through my head as I broke past the crowd and went to the only place I felt safe.

I curled up into a ball and watched the city go by on the roof of the school as I picked the dried glue out of my hair, when Nathaniel found me. "Amy it's-" he started to say but I didn't want to hear it.

"Just leave me alone. You and your little girlfriend or whatever got me okay, you win, so you can stop pretending like you care. I'm not stupid okay, I know all that crap yesterday was a just your little act. So don't pretend like your all surprised and upset about what happened," I yelled, but that's exactly what he did his eyes widened and it was clear to see the hurt behind them. Faker.

"I didn't do this," he denied. "And amber she's-" I saw some fliers balled up in his hand and snatched one out.

"Oh yeah, then what's this," I asked him pointing at the picture. "Is this not from yesterday did I not take this with you!" I yelled.

"It's Amber, she must have gotten that from my room," so that was the monsters name.

It was too much, it was all too much my family's death, my slow recovery, the loss of everything I've ever known and now this. I was supposed to be starting new so why was it going so bad. I didn't want to think about it anymore or be tricked by Nathaniel's lies so I swung my legs over the edge of the roof and slid down to the top rung of the ladder. This was a little trick that Castiel showed me. Not so easy with a leg brace but I could manage. I heard Nathaniel yell after me, but like I said I didn't want to think about it anymore…

So why was I still thinking about it. I had gone over it over and over in my head but I couldn't find any way to make Nathaniel the good guy. Though some part of me wanted him to be. I wanted to believe in the boy that I walked with under an umbrella, played with inside a picture booth and sat with through the storm. Maybe she did take it from his room! But then why was she in his room to begin with. A pain started to rip at my chest. Was she his girlfriend? He never denied it, but then why did she tell me to stay away from Castiel if she-. Ugh I was getting nowhere with this.

I gave up on my aimless walking and hunkered down at the edge of an alleyway. I hadn't realized it till now but my book bag had been opened. When I checked to make sure that nothing was stolen I saw the notebook.

It was the notebook that prevented me from ripping that Amber girl's hair out. I flipped it open and looked through the first page. Just to see if there was a name or address in it.

It was a poem and a real beautiful one too about love and loss the fear of being alone. It's like this person read my mind taking lines right out of my diary-well if I had one. After I finished the first poem my hands instantly flipped to the next one and the next. I knew it was wrong to read this persons private thoughts but I couldn't help it the lines they wrote were so wonderful… they lifted the heavy weight off of my own heart and made me forget, well at least for the moment.

"Well if it isn't the little angel, what are you doing skipping school," of course who else would find me in this low moment but Castiel. I glared up at him silently. I wasn't in the mood for banter today. "Who pissed in your cornflakes?" he said looking annoyed at my lack of response. I snapped the notebook shut and put it in my book bag. I'd put it in lost and found tomorrow. I put on my backpack and tried to leave, but Castiel blocked my path. "What the hell is wrong with you, and what is up with your hair," he asked glaring back into my eyes. I tossed him the papers that I just realized were still in my hand.

"See for yourself," I told him wiping off the ink that had stuck to my hand. He read one.

"Who'd you piss off," he asked sounding impressed.

"Apparently the class president and his girlfriend," I told him. He silently lifted one eyebrow.

"No chance, A.) That loser doesn't have a girlfriend" Castiel said he laughed.

"What,"

"And B.)We've been on the top of each other's shit list since 8th grade and he's never even tried to pull anything this big on me, no way he'd do this to some little girl he doesn't even know," Castiel told me. Was he trying to cheer me up?

That's when I realized, Castiel was a really sweet person, though he hid behind harsh words. "His bitchy sister might though," he told me while I was lost in thought. Wait sister?

"Wait sister!?" I almost shouted.

"Yeah blonde hair, green eyes, about this tall, sour face-,"

"And completely obsessed with you!" it was getting harder to restrain myself.

"So you have met her," he said annoyed. So maybe Nathaniel wasn't involved or he might be an inadvertent part in all of this. If so then what? Do I say sorry and try to be friends? If I did that witch would just do something like this again, or do I avoid him, protect myself and live a quiet school life… Ha yeah right like I could live quietly. Screw amber and her wicked ways I could take it. Why in the world would I let this nobody that I didn't know rule me?

"Ha," I started laughing to myself.

"Go home I think you've snapped," Castiel said, but I wasn't losing it. No, I was thinking clearer than ever before. I shook my head at him.

"I just realized how stupid I've been acting. Since I got to this school, no long before I even came to this school, I've always been so worried about what people would think of me, I never wanted to let anyone down," I took ballet because mom wanted me to be a ballerina, I worked hard to get into that school because my teacher wanted me to become an idol superstar. Yeah Imperial academy was nicknamed the supernova cause it made stars explode. All the biggest stars went there but, singer, actress, prima ballerina, not one of these dreams were mine. Don't get me wrong I had good times doing all that stuff, but as time went on my enjoyment of these activities waned. I just did them because everyone expected me to. In my heart I just wanted a normal life. I thought that this was my chance to live a normal school life, so I'd been walking on eggshells worried about what to say and how to act, again trying to be what people expected. I wasn't being me, hell I didn't know who the hell I was!

Well there was no chance I would be making many friends now, and somehow that was freeing. My parents were gone and my brother but for some reason I was still alive and I wasn't gonna waste it. "Hey Castiel do you know where I can find a-," It was time for change.

"We're gonna do it here?" I asked him nervously. He had brought me to the back room of some tattoo shop. "Are we even allowed back here," I whispered violently. The heavily tattooed man who let us in looked back at me. He had a half purple half black, relaxed Mohawk that hung down the side of his face and some scary piercings. I smiled quickly, waved nervously and turned immediately on my heels and ran into the room.

"Ha," Castiel laughed as he patted the big leather chair. I sat stiffly like a prisoner waiting for execution. Castiel laughed again.

"You know this was your idea right?" he said seeing my nerve stricken face.

"I know I want to do this," it sounded like I was trying to convince myself. Castiel sighed and held out his hand.

"Here,"

"What do you take me for some kind of kid," I asked annoyed well I tried to sound annoyed. He raised one eyebrow in a smug fashion, and I gave up on being tuff. "Thank you," I whispered grudgingly and took his hand. He laughed that superior laugh.

At that moment a colorful girl came bursting in, piercing gun in hand. "Cassey welcome," she yelled glomping him. Then she looked at me and our joined hands. "Who's this?" she asked darkly.

"Just some girl from school," he said and I gotta admit it stung a bit, but it was true I had known him for what two, three days we weren't exactly friends. "And the girl you'll be piercing," he said and my nerves were back, I clutched his hand tightly. The girl noticed this and she smiled and looked up at Castiel.

"You, out," she detached our hands and pushed him out the door.

"Uh well maybe we shouldn't-" I was about to chicken out when she spun around and pushed me down. Now that I had a closer look at her it was easy to see that she was the type I'd expect Castiel to hang with. Her hair was a short bob dyed in stripes of neon green and pink. She wore a short pair of neon overalls that covered no more than her butt to her bellybutton and a rainbow bandeau.

"Let's get started," she said putting the gun to my ear.

"Wait! You didn't even ask what I wanted to get done yet, I don't even know who you are or what your name is," okay I was stalling.

"UUUUUUUgh! Fine I'm Sarah I work here I handle tattoos and piercings," she said cheerfully. "Now what do you want to get done?" she asked annoyed.

"U-um well," I hadn't really thought about it this was a spur of the moment thing. I had always wanted to do something like this but I knew I couldn't so I didn't have details.

"UUUUUUUUUUUgh! See you don't even know just let me do my thing and you can take out the ones you don't like. They'll heal right up and nobody'll ever know," she whined. While I stopped to think she took advantage of the situation and pushed me down.

"W-what are you doing,"

"Well first I'm gonna clean the area, then we'll get started,"

"And you'll do this without a note from my parents or guardians,"

"Yeah, why you gonna tell on me,"

"No I'm just wondering why,"

"Hmm well Castiel asked and I'd do anything for him,"

"D-do you like love him," I asked shyly, remembering how she glared at me.

"Yeah a lot, he's like a little brother to me," she said tousling my hair. "The last girl he brought to me was a real awful chick. She messed him up for a long time," she said sadly and then snapped within 1 second. Her hand flickered into a fist clutching my matted hair and she pulled back quickly. "So if you're thinking about playing with my little bro's feelings I'll hunt you down and break you," she growled. "Got it?"

"Got it," I whined with my head snapped back. As quickly as her mood came it was gone, as she let go of my hair.

"Gross what kind of conditioner is this," Sarah asked noticing how disgusting my hair was.

"It's not conditioner it's glue,"

"What the heck are you doing putting that in your hair," she asked wiping her hand on her leg.

"I didn't do it. My third day of school and I'm already on some girl's hit list," I sighed.

"Come here let's see if we can get it out," Sarah pulled out a metal comb and started raking through my hair.

"Ow," I flinched. The glue had fused my hair together into one big glob. This was going to take forever… And it was going to hurt the whole time.

"Stay still," she demanded popping my on the head before going back to the torture. For a moment we sat in silence as she pulled the follicles out of my head. "… So you're new…" She asked.

"Yeah…," after that Sarah asked me question after question- not in the interrogating way that the girl at school did, but in the way people did when they wanted to get to know a friend.

"Well this is as good as I can get it once you go home soak the rest out in a hot bath," Sara told me. Almost all the glue was out.

"Now back to our regular programming," She said pulling me back to the other chair.

While she snapped on gloves. There was a nagging question I had on my mind that I wanted to ask "So about that girl Castiel used to date," Sarah's face grew dark really fast. I wanted to ask more about this girl but I was getting the feeling Sarah wouldn't tell me. So I asked a different question.

"Has he brought a lot of girls by here?"

"Nope just you and that girl for piercings, other than that the only other friend I've met was some boy for a tattoo,"

"And you tattooed him," I asked shocked.

"Like I said I'd do anything for Castiel and he asked, alright here comes the pinch,"

"Wait! I have one more request!"

"She did it on purpose," I yelled at Castiel over the table while I held one of my ears. Sarah CLAIMED that she accidentally put a few earrings in the wrong place so she pulled them out and re-pierced me again and again a few different times. After leaving the tattoo studio we stopped by a diner for a bite to eat.

"No she didn't, stop being a baby," he told me, as he took a bite of his burger, but he had a mighty big smile on his face!

"And how did I get a nose piercing I went in there for my ears," I said twisting the small stud I was checking out in the reflection of the napkin dispenser.

"I don't see you taking it out," he got me there. I liked the nose piercing it was just a little stud on the side of my nose but it gave my face character. I felt like a new person.

"I'm just not sure I can slip this buy my aunt," I told him putting the napkin dispenser down.

"You said the only time you see her she's either asleep or delirious just, tell her she's imagining things," I laughed at his joke. Not because it was funny but because it might just work. At least until it healed and I could wear the cleared invisible stud at home. "Why were you in there so long anyway, piercings don't take that long?" he asked.

"Noneya,"

"What,"

"None ya business, Ohhhh!" I teased he just raised his eyebrow at me.

"You're not funny," he said flatly.

"Okay she was helping me get some of this glue out of my hair," I pulled at a lock to show him it wasn't entirely untrue but we did a lot more than that. "It's gonna take forever to get the rest out," I pouted. Castiel looked at me with guilty eyes.

"Yeah," was all he said and then he was really focused on eating his fries.

"So what up with you and Amber,"

"Nothing she's just crazy," he looked pissed that I asked.

"And what about that Charlotte girl,"

"That's none of your business!" he yelled slamming his fist on the table good thing the diner was empty.

"Sorry, sorry, I forgot touchy subject,"

"It's not a touchy subject, it's just nothing little girls like you should be sticking your nose into,"

"Sorry… I just, don't get it,"

"It's not for you to get,"

"Here's your strawberry shake and apple turnover," our waiter said giving me my desert.

"Got enough food their Fat Bastard?" Castiel asked.

"Oh behave," I told him in my best Austin Powers impression. I admit along with this I had order a double cheeseburger, fries, onion rings, a soda- had 2 refills- a small thing of Mac and cheese those bread sticks they leave at the table in the beginning before you get the meal, a second order of fries and some chicken strips...I guess the was a lot of food but c'mon. "This is the first time in my entire 15 year existence that I have the freedom to eat whatever I want, and I'm going to enjoy it,"

"What were you anorexic or something?"

"Wha- no, I was driven. I had goals and aspirations and dreams, and they all required me to eat a certain way and be a certain weight," I trailed off.

"And now you don't,"

"…Nope,"

"what you just give up," That struck a nerve.

"I absolutely did not give up I was forced to stop,"

"oh yeah why,"

"That's none of your business,"

"yeah that's exactly what a quitter would say," he was really getting on my nerves with that.

"I didn't quit!"

"Well it sounds like you did,"

"I did not!"

"Oh yeah then why'd you stop!"

"Because I was broken!" My hand automatically reached for my brace. A small realization hit me in that moment. I had truly been broken not just my body but my mind as well. My head hung low. What must my parents think of me right now? They must be so ashamed.

"Sorry…" he whispered. I just shook my head.

"It was just a freak…car accident," the word accident burned my mouth, leaving a bitter taste on my tongue. Everyone who knew what happened knew it was no accident. "Three people very close to me were killed..."

"Sorry..." he repeated. I felt something warm touch the top of my head. I peered up to see Castiel patting my head. I had to drop my head even lower to hide my smile. He wasn't the obnoxious bad boy I pegged him as. After a minute he stopped.

"So," the silence was starting to get uncomfortable more and more so with every second that it dragged on. "Um what are you into besides good music," I asked.

"Nothing,"

"Nothing c'mon you have to like something besides listening to good music,"

"What's with all the questions it's not like this is a date princess?"

"Yeah but that doesn't mean we can't get to know each other, c'mon befriend the new kid just this once,"

"No," he leaned away, but I grabbed the sleeve of his jacket and tugged gently.

"C'mon!" I tugged a little harder.

"No, get off,"

"Please! Just tell me about yourself,"

"No,"

"Come on! Just one thing tell me one fact about yourself and I'll let go," he stopped struggling.

"… Playing it."

"What."

"I don't just listen to great music I play it… I'm in a band," he said looking away from me.

"Really? Cool what's it called," I asked letting go of his jacket finally.

"You don't need to know,"

"Why not," if he didn't tell me their name I couldn't look them up. Wouldn't a band want more people to listen to them? "And what do you do singer, drummer?"

"Guitarist… lead guitarist,"

"Cool I was a singer once,"

"Good for you," he said flatly.

"You know you're always such a joy," I said getting up. "Uh can we get our bill," I called to a waiter, who had it ready immediately, I had lost my appetite. When I went to grab it Castiel intercepted. Stuffed a stack of bills in the folder and yanked me by the arm out the door. "Aw you paid for my meal does that mean we're going steady," I asked sarcastically grabbing his hand, but he yanked away immediately.

"In your dreams Princess," he said but it seemed forced so I stopped.

"So Sarah seems super nice I had a super great girl talk," I smiled. Maybe I didn't have friends at school but I think I made friends with her.

The sun was just starting to set painting the sky beautiful shades of orange and pink and blue. It was beautiful or at least it should have been. As much as I wanted to tell myself that today's incident would free me to be myself I still dreaded going to school tomorrow.

"Maybe I'll just fake sick, stay home," I said to myself shoving my hands into my pocket.

"Hmm," Castiel said raising a brow. I just shook my head.

"Just thinking about what I' going to do tomorrow," the way today went tomorrow won't be much better. I sighed. "It's going to be horrible," he looked away, and for the rest of the way we walked in silence. "Well, this is me," I pointed up at the building. It was now dark when we reached the apartment. I was about to head in when Castiel finally broke the silence and called out to me.

"Hey, tomorrow, if someone says anything to you… just ignore them," he said and then quickly turned and walked away.

"You really are a nice guy you know," I whispered to myself and went inside.

Castiel headed back to his house annoyed by the thought of having to go sit through a whole day of school tomorrow. But he would, just to watch out for her. He felt partly responsible for what had happened. A lot of girls who got close to him were hurt by Amber not that he had liked any of them he was still reeling from the pain of his first heartbreak. "When will this end," he said slamming his fist into the wall. He clutched his chest. Though the pain wasn't as bad today only by a little. He put his headphones on and started playing that song from Vista lip that Amy played for him on their way to school.

I was getting ready for bed when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I pulled back my hair to look at my ears. I had to admit I liked the piercings Sarah did three on the lobe of one ear and three on the top of the other. Though I was all pierced up it was still girly, but it didn't feel like enough you couldn't even tell I had them when my hair was down. I wanted something more dramatic. I went into aunt Aggie's sewing room and got her sharp fabric scissors. As I held them I was reminded of what Castiel called me today. "Angel huh," I stopped and peeled the bandages off my back. Laying under them was my first tattoo. The beginning of two angel wings just the beginning. The part of the wings that made you fly were torn away. A few loose feathers spread here and there across my back. Sarah had done a good job with the tattoo. It captured exactly how I felt. The angel was gone now her wings had been torn from her back and turned to ash. I thought as I picked up the scissors again and made the first cut.

This was the first day to the rest of my life.