Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux
Interlude

Chapter 6: Dr Mizuno - wherein we get a flashback scene, and read what's inside that envelope

Flashback: 8 years ago. The day Mugen Academy exploded and Pharaoh 90 almost destroyed the world.

Saeko Mizuno stood alone in the empty apartment. Where was Ami?

Her daughter she was supposed to be here. Uncharacteristically, she had stormed off to her room, and slammed the door 10 minutes ago. Saeko knew she didn't walk out the front door. Saeko was right outside that door herself for the past 10 minutes. She was wavering between getting to work ASAP and going back into the condo to comfort her daughter. In the end, her motherly duty won out over her professional. She went back in to an empty apartment.

They had a rare mother-daughter fight not 10 minutes ago, and now Ami was missing.

The city was a disaster zone right now. Something bad was happening at the Mugen Academy building downtown. As such, Dr Mizuno Saeko was needed in the hospital. She'd received the emergency summons just as Ami came home from god-knows-where. Her normally reasonable daughter had all but ordered her to evacuate the city instead. Saeko refused, and Ami did not take it well. Tempers flared on both sides, and they did so with a shocking intensity. The fight itself was completely illogical, but Saeko was more concerned about something that lurked in the background of Ami's outburst.

Sakeo couldn't figure it out and Ami didn't say anything that led anywhere. The only thing she was certain of that she felt guilty about not knowing more about her genius of a daughter. If she were a better mother, she'd be able to figure out what was wrong.

Her daughter...where was she now?

Saeko was suddenly afraid to look out the open window.

No, her daughter wasn't like that...not anymore...not since she'd made some real connections outside the family...

Still with Ami, Saeko knew she could never rule the possibility out entirely. Her heart hammered with dread as she looked out the window.

She looked down. Nothing there.

Thank the gods.

Sakeo let out quick laugh of relief as she looked around. The window was still the only logical explanation of where Ami had gone. Climbing down was impossible, and certainly not in 10 minutes. They were 11 stories up. An athletic young girl might theoretically be able to climb to the roof, but that was incredibly dangerous and there was no reason for it. Ami wasn't the sort to put herself in such danger...was she?

What was that last thing Ami had said to her?

"Mother, you don't even know who I am. I'm not a little girl anymore. I just need you to trust me."

How had she replied? She shot back that she wouldn't ever be able to know Ami if she kept closing herself off like this.

Saeko sighed. She was an adult, she should have handled things better. Sometimes, it was easy to forget just how young Ami really was.

A collection of Sailor Senshi stuffed dolls on Ami's shelf seemed to underscore that thought.

Wait...that was strange. Ami never liked dolls, not even as a child. She'd declared such things too frivolous at the tender age of 7. Right around the time of the divorce.

The way they were placed, it would have been the first thing Ami saw every morning when she woke up. These dolls were important to her.

For some reason, one doll stood out to her. The blue one. They called her Sailor Mercury in the news. Blue was Ami's favourite colour. She wondered if Sailor Mercury was likewise her favourite.

Everyone could feel that there was a malevolent force at work today. The city was in clearly in danger. There was no other explanation for the dark purple dome that now covered an entire city block. Saeko could see it from the condo. This was just like it was a year ago when those black crystals suddenly grew out of nowhere and the UFO appeared in the sky.

Saeko knew she should be terrified right now, but she picked up the blue doll and smiled instead. It was oddly comforting.

Whoever these mysterious Sailor Senshi were, they were likely out there in the thick of things right now. It was unsettling to know that there were people with super powers out there, but right now, with the city in danger, it was comforting. Someone was watching over the city, protecting the people.

She wondered who they were. They appeared to be 5 girls,so very much like her daughter and her group of friends.

Saeko smiled as she thought of her daughter's new friends. They were such a diverse group. How on earth did they all meet? They went to different schools, had different backgrounds, hobbies, interests.

Dread beat into her heart again. The doll in her hand felt heavier. Saeko had been so thankful to these girls for bringing light into her Ami's life, that she never once considered who they were.

Tsukino-san made sense. They went to the same school and the girl had the most brilliant smile anyone could imagine. She came first and it was easy to see how she could have made friends with anyone. Tsukino-san had such a warm feeling about her.

Then came the priestess Hino Rei. Where could their paths have intersected? As far as she knew, Ami wasn't the religious sort. Saeko remembered being surprised when she mentioned having a friend who was adept in mystical fire readings.

And then there was Kino-san At first she had been worried about the big tough looking girl that her daughter had befriended. However, first impressions were wrong, as they often were. When she saw the way she hovered so protectively over Ami, she was charmed. Over the past year, she had come to know more about Kino-san. Her sweetness, her honesty, her independence...Ami talked about her often. Seeing her from Ami's perspective, Saeko had come to like her very much as well.

There was one more, a bubbly blonde girl she had never been properly introduced to. Even from afar, Saeko could see that she was a vivacious girl that seemed larger than life. Like an idol. The exact opposite of her shy reserved Ami. She also remembered that the girl also wore a school uniform from a neighbouring district. Where could Ami have met her, much less becomes such good friends? In her experience, "opposites attract" was true only to a certain extent.

These girls came from all different walks of life. That they had met at all was a miracle. Ami was generally so much happier nowadays that Sakeo never thought to question the miracle.

5 girls. 5 best friends. 5 dolls on the shelf.

The pieces fell into place.

Tsukino-san. The girl with the odango hair. Sailor Moon.

Kino-san. The tall powerful brunette. Sailor Jupiter.

Hino Rei. the raven haired beauty with an affinity for fire readings. Sailor Mars

The mysterious bubbly blonde...the mysterious superhero codenamed Sailor Venus.

That left...Ami. The Sailor Mercury doll in her hand. Saeko stared at it with disbelief.

A loud explosion sounded outside. The sound through the open window sent Saeko ducking for cover. The doll fell from her hands and landed face up. Its blue eyes looked up, its truth staring her in the face. It was the only possible explanation for where Ami was now. However unlikely, it had to be the truth. Sailor Mercury.

Saeko looked out the window, desperate to avert her eyes from the unblinking doll.

The skyscraper at the heart of the mysterious storm was completely gone. It was now a crater. It looked like a war zone out there. Her Ami couldn't be out in that. Her Ami was somewhere safe. There was a reasonable explanation for where she was right now. She couldn't be risking her life to fight evil. Not her only daughter.

The denial sounded false even as she thought it. Given the power, Ami would absolutely be out there. Ami grew up surrounded by duty. It was the lesson she learned every night she spent alone when her mother didn't come home from work. Every day when her mother was too tried to spend time with her. Every goddamn time her mother put her patients ahead of her own daughter.

Ami grew up in a world where doing the right thing was more important than any one individual. Her feelings were always quietly sacrificed in the name of helping others.

Of course she would be out there selflessly trying to save the world. Danger be damned.

Danger...the explosion. People had to be injured. Saeko knew she had a duty. If Ami was out there, then she would understand and forgive her for not waiting at home.

Saeko wanted nothing more than to run out to the epicentre of the explosion and look for Ami. She knew in her heart of hearts that her daughter was there fighting to save the world. Someone had to make the world a place worth saving. Ami would never forgive her mother, or herself for that matter, if innocent people died for want of a doctor.

As a mother, Saeko could do nothing more than hope for her daughter to come home safe. As a doctor, she had an obligation to fulfill. Dr Mizuno set off to the hospital. Lives were at stake.

Wherever Ami was, Saeko prayed for her to be safe. She just had to come home.

There would be too much left unsaid otherwise.

It was a city wide disaster. There were injuries coming in from all areas. Dr Mizuno wasn't able to leave until she had pulled at least a double shift. She'd lost track of time somewhere in the midst of all the patients that needed emergency treatment.

Saeko rushed home as soon as she could. She needed to know if the gods were kind.

They were. Her prayers were answered.

Ami was sitting at the kitchen table, safe, alive and fidgeting with the Sailor Mercury doll.

"Ami! Thank the gods. Where have you been?"

Ami smiled back, her usual picture of normalcy.

"I've been here mother. Studying in my room. How are you? The explosion downtown... how bad was it?"

The smile was false. Ami was lying to her. They both knew it. Saeko wondered when her daughter had gotten so adept at lying.

She looked into her daughter's eyes, ready to confront her with the truth.

For the first time, was someone alien looking back at her. Someone too old, too wise. Someone who had seen too much. Suddenly, the facade collapsed and she was just her little girl again, scared and crying.

"Please mother. Please just trust me. Please don't ask."

Ami needed her illusions after all. She must have her reasons.

For Ami's sake, She pretended not to notice how stiffly her daughter moved she she stood up, or how she winced when they hugged a bit too tightly.

For Ami's sake, she pretended not to be terrified of what the future held and hid just how proud she was of her daughter for being so brave.

For Ami's sake, she whispered soothing words. Don't apologize. Never apologize. I trust you. You can talk whenever you are ready. I'll understand. I'll be there to listen. I love you.

There would always be time for the truth later.

Present day: A letter inside a water stained envelope.

"My Darling Ami,

If you are reading this, it means that I am dead. I am so sorry to leave you and please know that I love you more than anything in the world.

I am also sorry for leaving this to you, but there is no one else that I can trust with this information. I know that there is something special about you and your friends.

I remember the day that that high school exploded; the fight we had about not evacuating the city. You ran away that day. I knew because I went back into the apartment after you left that day. I knew then that you had a life that I knew nothing about.

I was so thankful when I came home and you were there waiting for me. My prayers were answered. You were safe. That was enough for me.

At first, I had wanted to confront you with your secret, but overtime, I realized it wasn't my place. You were always a smart girl, and wise beyond your years. If you were keeping a secret, you must have had a reason. I understood and accepted your decision easily. You are my darling daughter. I trust you more than anything in the world.

As a mother, it has been my privilege to see you grow into the hero that you are. I was prepared to wait as long as it was necessary for the chance to tell you that. I hoped the day would come that you were ready to introduce yourself to me again.

If you are reading this letter then, that hope has failed. Just know that my only regret is that we didn't have more time. I don't blame you for anything, and you mustn't blame yourself now. Dear Ami, I was always so proud of you, if I never got a chance to tell you this in life, I am so so sorry.

It has been two years since that day. Please forgive me for my inaction since. Perhaps all of the rationalization above was just to cover my own selfish fears. I am afraid that there may be a day when you didn't come home. To hear you confirm that would also simultaneously confirm the possibility of my worst nightmares. Forgive me for placing that burden on you never having had the courage to support you in life.

I must ask your forgiveness again. I am about to add to your burdens.

I have also written this letter for fear that my death was not a natural one. That the following information could be of vital importance.

As you know, over the past year, I have been researching nanomachines regarding their use in medicine. Recently, I have begun to uncover evidence that my funding partner, Blackstone Capital Investments have designs for my nanomachines that go beyond medicine. I fear that the research I have done will be used for great harm. There are have been some disturbing rumours regarding the biomechanical protoypes that my research is contributing to. I do not have more details at this moment, but I have a general sense of unease that causes me to leave you this letter just in case.

I have been called to present my work personally to Dr. Edward Smith, the chairman of the board. I will be able to investigate further at the head office. Hopefully, all this paranoia just the imagination of a tired old woman, and I will see you at breakfast next week. I hope we will have the chance to bake another batch of cookies together someday soon. I know you are long past the point where such a simple thing could cheer you up, but humor your mother in her whimsy. You will always be my little girl. I just hope then I will be brave enough to be the mother to you that I always should have been. Perhaps that will be the day we say all the things we have left unsaid.

In case I do not return, I want you to know that I am so very very proud of you. You have grown into an incredible young woman who makes the world a better place. You are my hero. Love and cherish the good people in your life. Be loved and cherished by them in turn and above all, be happy.

With all my love,

- Saeko Mizuno."

A.N

Oops. This was an accidental chapter. The original concept was to just have the contents of the letter posted as an interlude, but then I started writing the flashback as I was editing the letter for publish. So...bonus chapter! For all the times she's been mentioned in this fanfic, it's nice to finally meet Dr Saeko Mizuno. You know, for the sake of tragedy.

The action/adventure portion of our program will begin shortly. Please be aware that things will be getting more violent physically and emotionally in this fic. It is rated M for a reason. Hell, Minako's swearing alone would probably run us into M territory for excessive use of coarse language :P.

Up next: Ami and Minako in London.

Sidenote: Saeko's scene cross references with Ami's scene in my other story "The Long Road to Mugen" and the senshi plushies make an appearance in "Venus Minako's Nurse Mayhem: Ami's Place"...because Drifter-chan actually once wrote something that isn't horrifically depressing in nature. Hooray!