Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux
Act 4: Ami Redux
Chapter 18: Aftermath - wherein Jupiter tallies up the recent victory and finds it lacking. Also, the beginning of the end of our story.
Jupiter had been through the aftermath of hundreds of fights - possibly thousands. Whether a battle as Sailor Jupiter or a street fight as Makoto, the aftermath was remarkably similar. There was always a quick high – the thrill of victory, or just plain survival. Then came damage assessment and a short window of opportunity to tie up any loose ends. Right before exhaustion sets in. After that, real life began again for better or worse.
Sailor Moon and Mars had taken charge of the newly healed Pandora. The Silver Crystal removed her Dark Power. It restored her face and body to the person she was before she ever met Sailor V and Queen Metaria. Pandora was restarting life as a regular human. Naturally, the best place for her to begin life anew was with the Ayakashi Sisters. If anyone could help her readjust, it was Koan, Berthier, Calaveras and Petz. They knew what they were doing and were happy to help. The sisters loved life on Earth now and always hoped that there would be others who could be redeemed like themselves.
Jupiter frowned and stretched her back uncomfortably. She had a wicked bruise forming between the shoulder blades from when Pandora used Venus as an attack dog. On the injury front, there were minor burns and bruises all around but Ami was the worse off by far. Pandora tortured her even before draining her energy. Jupiter was now very seriously reconsidering the second chance they gave her.
Ami insisted that she didn't need to be taken to a hospital again. There was no way of explaining her injuries, especially in light of how recently she was just in the hospital. A crushed hand, cracked ribs and more or less a stab wound in the face a mere 2 months after being admitted with a gaping chest wound. Any idiot would be suspicious.
Damn Ami and her cold logic. She was impossible to argue with, not that Jupiter didn't try. In the end, Venus made the call and reluctantly agreed to skip the hospital. They were headed to Rei's temple instead. Jupiter would have to have words with her about that later.
Tuxedo Kamen arrived too late to help in the battle against Pandora, but not too late to help carry Ami back and bandage her up. At least he was a trained doctor as well. That was somewhat reassuring. He and Ami argued back-and-forth the whole way. Jupiter caught words such as "pulmonary contusion" and "hypoxia" between rooftop jumps...not that she understood what those things were. She hated hospital jargon as much as she hated hospitals. Besides, it didn't seem relevant. She suspected Tuxedo Kamen was just arguing for the sake of keeping Ami awake anyways. Jupiter herself hadn't been able to contribute anything beyond a useless comment on how Ami better not be lying about how seriously she was hurt.
They detransformed when they arrived at the temple. Makoto helped Mamoru settle Ami into the spare room, while Minako went to distract Grandpa or whatever. Makoto wasn't really up to keeping track of things anymore.
She tried to make herself useful. Cutting bandages, fetching disinfectants and the like. After running out to Mamoru's car to get his medical bag, Makoto walked in on Ami talking Mamoru through the treatment of something called "compartment syndrome". It sounded so horrible that Makoto was sure she wasn't understanding things properly. Then the scalpel came out and treatment began. Mako ran out and spent the next 10 minutes helpfully puking in the bushes.
Minako came outside to find her few minutes later. Even the normally unflappable blonde looked a little green. Sometimes medicine was just butchery wrapped up in science.
Mamoru had to leave after that. It was past dawn now and he had a morning shift at his clinic he couldn't avoid without arousing suspicion. Before he left, he asked Makoto monitor the Mercury Computer. It was set to scan Ami's lungs every half hour. Mako was to call immediately if any new white splotches turned up on screen.
Officer Aino left next. She also had work, but at least she'd be patrolling out of a nearby police station box all day in case anything happened. Thankfully, Ami seemed to be stable right now, and was even getting some sleep despite the crazy amounts of pain she must be in.
Makoto was now alone at the temple with nothing to do. The only thing left was to clean up the mess. There was blood all over the impromptu field hospital that used to be Rei's spare room.
Finally. Something she could help with.
Makoto was long past exhaustion. Real life was kicking in now. It wasn't much of a lie when she called in sick to her bakery and asked her staff to cover for a few days. The strain in her voice was obvious. Her employees understood what they thought they understood.
She hung up the phone and got to work. Rei and Usagi still weren't back yet. She assumed they were helping Pandora readjust to her new life.
That didn't seem fair. After everything she'd done. Pandora gets to start over with a clean slate. She wasn't lying on a futon waiting to die of white splotches on a lung scan or whatever.
Mako scrubbed fiercely at the tatami mat by the door. How could they just let her walk away like this? This wasn't justice. That bloodstain was never coming out. Mako screamed in frustration. She really needed to hit someone right now. There was no reason to hide her tears. She was alone anyways.
"Don't worry about it. It was due to be changed anyways."
Grandpa Hino puttered into view holding a tray of tea. Mako started to panic. She'd forgotten he was around. There was absolutely no way to explain what was going on here. Hell, she didn't even know what was happening anymore.
"Don't worry Kino-san. I know. I always knew. My Rei is a special one. Sailor Mars. Hah! Of course she would have an affinity for fire."
Makoto was taken aback. In retrospect, this explained alot, but it was still a surprise to her.
"How come you've never said anything Hino-ojiisan?"
"I'm not here to tell my story Kino-san. I had no reason to tell you until I was needed."
He ushered her out of Ami's room and into the hall.
"Come. Tea first, then we will take the mats outside. The stain will be there when we get back. It will remain so no matter how hard we scrub. Best thing to do would be to let it go. The mat is not worth keeping if we must redefine our standards of cleanliness to keep it."
Makoto felt sure that Grandpa wasn't referring to the mats any longer.
The Computer between its 11th and 12th diagnostic when Makoto felt a light prod at her knee.
"Mako-chan? Mako! Are you alright?"
She shook awake. When did she fall asleep? She was supposed to be watching over Ami.
"Huh? Wha? Ami-chan! You're awake! Thank goodness. I was so worried."
Makoto was wide awake now. Ami continued to look at her with worry. Makoto was simultaneously annoyed and overjoyed by that. Her emotions were a hot mess right now. Dammit. She was just sitting here like some idiot and Ami was still waiting for some reassurance.
"I'm ok. I'm ok. Just fell asleep. Everyone else is fine too. No one's hurt. We're more worried about you."
Ami tried to sit up and look around. Bad idea. A coughing spasm stopped her halfway. Mako gently forced her to lie down again. The girl needed to be protected from herself. Ami grunted a sound that sounded like "thank you" as she settled back in the futon.
"Thanks again Mako. Sorry. That was a bad idea. Where's Usagi?"
"She and Rei took Pandora to the Sisters' house. They should be back anytime now."
Ami smiled weakly at that. Mako was surprised. How was she ok with this?
"Good. She'll do well there I think..."
Makoto couldn't help the bitter tone that crept into her voice.
"Ami, she tortured you...I can't just forgive that. I mean, just look at your hand!"
The smile faltered. Ami wasn't as ok as she was pretending to be.
"Not Pandora's fault. I did that to myself. Mamoru and I set the bones as best we could, but it's likely a mess in there... strange...it doesn't hurt as much anymore?"
Ami started to look a bit scared at that. Mako couldn't stand it. Grandpa Hino might be right, but it didn't mean that she had to like it.
"I don't care who did what Ami! Seeing you like this...after everything Pandora's done. I'm not ready to forgive her. This isn't fair. How are you able to just let her go like this!?"
Ami closed her eyes a moment before she answered.
"Please don't think I'm being completely selfless here Mako. I needed to forgive her. That was for me. I'm tired of carrying around all that anger and hate. If I killed Pandora...it would have just been for revenge. I'm not sure I'd be able to come back from that. I couldn't kill her. Especially not after I came to understand her."
There was a pause. Ami was taking a moment to collect her thoughts or catch her breath. Mako wasn't sure which.
"We talked. She said had a dream once, and Metaria took advantage of that. Corrupted her. I couldn't help but wonder what her life was like that Metaria seemed the better option. Don't forget. I've had Metaria in my head too. I've listened to her. If she had come to me before I met Usagi. I could have easily been Pandora."
"How!? You are nothing like her."
"I'm not so sure about that Mako. We both wanted something more from life, and we were both tempted to say yes when someone offered it to us. Take the easy way out. She said yes, and I said no. That's the only difference between us... but I didn't do it by myself. I had help. I had all of you. I wasn't alone. I think Pandora was when Metaria first corrupted her. How could I feel anything but pity for someone like that? I couldn't kill her just for being human. Just like I have to stop punishing myself for the same thing."
Makoto started to calm down, trying to see Pandora from Ami's perspective. She decided to let things go for Ami's sake. It wasn't her place to argue.
"Ami, I'm glad you've got that figured out. One day, you are going to have to go over all that with me again. Slowly. In detail."
Ami's laugh quickly turned into a wince. Mako glared at her in mock irritation until she settled down.
"Sorry...sorry. I'll be more careful...It's just I know you Mako...you would have come to the same opinion in time..."
Ami frowned, her eyes narrowed in thought.
"..You saw everything between Pandora and I in real time didn't you? That wasn't my intention when I gave you the Computer. I'm sorry you experienced that... but I'm glad you figured out the Computer so quickly. I think it likes you. Your message...it got through. That kept me alive in there with Pandora."
"Oh? What message?"
"I saw it in my visor. "Coming to you. Stay alive."...I needed to see that. Thank you Makoto."
The angry knot inside Makoto dissolved further. Things seemed to be working out for the best.
"I'm glad you got that. Oh! How are you feeling by the way? Sorry. I should have asked right away. You look pretty beat. Maybe you should get some more rest? Unless you are hungry or something? I can probably whip something up..."
Makoto wasn't sure where the sudden nervousness came from, but she was saved by the bell. The Computer pinged in the background. 12th diagnostic had begun.
Ami perked up at the sound.
"Is that the lung scan? Can I see that a moment?"
Mako passed her the mini computer as requested.
"Amazing! Look at this! Senshi healing powers are really quite something."
A few keyboard taps later, Ami turned the screen to point something out. Makoto took her word for it. It all looked kind of like black and white blobs to her. Yes. It was amazing. She wasn't sure what Ami was looking at, but Makoto grinned anyways. She was just happy that Ami was up and being well...like Ami again. Curious, inappropriately fascinated by science Ami. Maybe she was just loopy from the painkillers? No...she knew Ami had refused them last night. This was just Ami being Ami.
Right now, Ami seemed genuinely happy. Mako was so relieved that she thought she might cry.
"Mako-chan? Are you sure you're ok?"
Makoto laughed. Turns out she actually was crying. Happy tears.
"I'm fine. Great even. I'm just happy that you're being...well...like yourself again!"
Ami looked away and tapped a couple of buttons on the computer. She very carefully took a deep breath and watched the results on the computer screen before she answered.
"You're right. I do feel like myself again. I mean, not physically. Physically I can't decide if I need coffee more, or a blood transfusion. Ugh... sorry... Other than that, yes, I feel better than I have for years. I'm glad to be back..."
Ami's voice trailed off. Her eyelids were starting to flutter. Mako wasn't sure if she was joking about the blood transfusion thing or not. Ami started to reach for Mako's hand, but stopped short just before they touched.
"I'm sorry Mako. I'm having a hard time staying awake all of a sudden... Maybe you should leave and go get yourself something to eat?"
There was a flash of something between the lines there. Mako decided to throw caution to the wind. She was the Senshi of Courage afterall.
"Maybe I will...but let me stay with you. Just for today...at least until you fall asleep. It'd make me feel better."
Mako took the hesitant hand gently. That earned her a grateful smile in turn. Ami was back now. There would be time to talk later.
"Thank you for understanding. I'm glad you're here Mako."
Ami's smile remained as she fell asleep. Makoto thought that despite the bandages, she finally looked at peace with herself. That was worth something. She was in a better place now than she had been for a long long time.
Makoto watched Ami sleep for a short while before sneaking away. She turned the light off on the way out. After so many hardships, Ami deserved her rest.
A.N.
Sidenote: Grandpa tells his story in my other fic : "Rei and Minako: Immovable/Unstoppable" Chapter 3.
Up next: Chapter 19 - By My Mother's Grave - Ami asks an indulgence of Usagi as her journey comes to an end.