Walking Towards Light: Ami Redux
Act 4: Ami Redux
Day 1: Ever Onward - wherein life goes on, and we see a small slice of it some 16 months later.
Thank you for being here with me!
16 months later
"Scalpel"
The requested instrument was placed in her hand. Ami took it and made a careful incision. She was ready for the next step.
"Forceps please."
Now came the delicate part of the operation.
She pulled back the fluff and carefully placed the magnet inside FishyHayase-chan.
There. Perfect. Now to stitch it back up. If she did the math correctly, Hotaru's favourite stuffed toy goldfish would now be a levitating stuffed toy goldfish - when the proper electrical currents were applied of course - that's what Makoto was here for.
Kino Makoto - tall and strong and beautiful and always there for her. Ami's heart skipped a beat that it shouldn't have.
Hotaru's giggle distracted her from another gratuitously masochistic session of admiring Mako from afar. Ami looked at her kid saviour archly, then winked.
"Surgery is serious business kid. Now pass me the 3/8 circle needle."
"Not yet nee-chan! You forgot the resistor in the tail chip again!"
Ami checked the tail.
"Oops, you're right! Pass me the resistor then! Sorry, I keep forgetting we redesigned the tail to accommodate that lightbulb you wanted to put in its butt for whatever reason."
Hotaru laughed out loud at the word "butt". Senshi of silence she might be, but she was still a 9 year old child.
"I thought it would be pretty! FishyHayase-chan looks like a firefly now and it was a good way to disperse of the waste energy from the solar generator you built for the navigation sensors...Also, I think Chibi Usa would love it."
Ami stuck her tongue out at Hotaru.
"It's not my fault we have laws about thermodynamics...but yeah, you're absolutely right Hotaru-chan. That was brilliant. Hey! When did Setsuna say Chibi-Usa was visiting again? Next week? Let's test the new propulsion system today so it's ready to show her. I want to see FishyHayase-chan race Luna-P ball for real this time."
Makoto cut in with a deadpan observation.
"Ami-chan. I don't get a word of what you two are talking about...but did you just get out engineered by a 9 year old? I never thought I'd see the day."
Hotaru blushed at the compliment as Ami responded.
'I believe I did...but in my defense, this is a pretty special 9 year old. Right Hotaru-chan?"
Ami gave Hotaru's hair a quick ruffle as she stepped back from the worktable.
"Ok, done. Hotaru, tools are secure? Good...good...ok. Makoto, your turn. Can you run say...15 volts through to the antenna?"
Makoto hooked up the wires to the battery and charged up the round fish doll as requested. Ami looked on anxiously alongside Hotaru. This was the moment of truth.
"Alright...15 volts. Got it...
Mako blinked as she turned her head back and forth between the two geniuses.
"Wow...did anyone ever tell you that you too are starting to look kind of alike? "
Ami and Hotaru looked at each other and shrugged. They did that identically too. Makoto shook her head with affection as she tossed the remote control to Hotaru.
"Hotaru-chan, will you do the honours?"
The kid made a dramatic show of pressing the big red "on" button. It was a wonder that she didn't start cackling and shout "IT'S ALIVE!".
ZOOM
FishyHayase-chan lifted off the table and flew out the door.
SMACK
Everyone in the room winced. That sounded exactly like flying stuffed toy on human flesh...
Ouch. Haruka was lying just outside the doorway with a big goldfish imprint on her face.
Michiru's voice drifted calmly out of the living room.
"Haruka dear... I told you that you didn't need to check on them."
Haruka sat up to defend herself.
"What? I can't help but worry! Last time I left them alone together, they took my car apart!"
"Sheeeeesh...Haruka-papa! We put it back together after!"
"Yeah, but now it's all fuel efficient and everything!"
Hotaru pouted back at her Haruka-papa.
"What's wrong with that?"
Michiru answered on behalf of her fiance.
"Nothing. Haruka just misses the vroom vroom noise it used to make. Feel free to ignore her honey. You two did great. I love it."
Ami reached down to help Haruka up. She grinned at the taller woman sheepishly.
"Sorry about the car Haruka-san...and the goldfish. Hotaru and I kind of get carried away sometimes..."
"It's all good. My fault. There's no place to duck in this hallway! Nice place you've got here by the way."
Ami swept her arm out over the apartment while everyone else laughed. She narrowly avoided smacking the wall with that grand gesture.
"Nice...but just kind of small though right?"
'Small' was an accurate assessment. It was a glorified shoe box in the sky, even by Tokyo standards. There wasn't much furniture yet aside from her worktable and a bed, but Ami was proud to call it her own.
Ami looked around her new apartment. Amazing how many people could fit in here if no one cared about personal space.
All of her friends were here for a house warming party. She could see or hear just about everyone from where she was now. Hotaru, Haruka and Mako were here with her in the bedroom/workshop. She could hear Usagi in the living room with Rei and Michiru. From the sounds of things, she was busy trying to get them to play "guess what animal I'm thinking of". Michiru was deferring politely but Rei was yelling about how her sacred powers weren't just some party trick. Mamoru was probably there too, sitting quietly and wondering how his life got to be this crazy. Ami made a mental note to go save him later.
Next on the list...Minako. No sign of her anywhere. She was being suspiciously quiet? Ami frowned.
As much as she liked the idea of having her own apartment, Ami knew she was going to miss being roommates with the lively blonde. Everyday was something different there - and none of it taken too seriously unless absolutely necessary. Yes...she was definitely going to miss hanging out with Minako. Ami smiled at the fond memories. Life goes on. She had a new residency beginning at Juuban Medical University Hospital beginning next month. it made sense to move closer to her new job. After living with Minako for the past year and a half, it was about time to branch out on her own.
At least she was still legally required to check in with Minako for the next month or so anyways. Her probation was almost over - only year and a half sentence for hacking into the most secure bank system in Europe. Setsuna had to be the best lawyer in the world to pull off that plea bargain. Ami knew she was damn lucky that she didn't succeed in ruining her own life.
On that thought...where was Setsuna?
Ami heard the sound of running water from the bathroom. Well, that answered at least one mystery about the eternal time guardian.
Haruka and Hotaru were still going back and forth on the merits of fuel efficient vehicles, egged on by the occasional comment from Michiru. Setsuna wandered by to see what the commotion was about. She held the runaway floating fish ball in her hands.
"Ami, I caught FishyHayase-chan outside the bathroom. It levitates now? That's brilliant! Very cute too. Nice work!"
Ami blushed.
"Thank you Setsuna-san. I was inspired by Luna-P Ball. Hotaru contributed a good deal as well. Most of the stabilizing tail fins are her design."
Setsuna got a very strange look on her face.
"Wait...Luna-P Ball...inspired you to design...Lu- no. Wait. Nevermind. Don't answer that. I don't want to know. I'm going to go get a popsicle instead. Does anyone else want one? We should probably get some ice for you too Haruka..."
Ami laughed again as she considered how absurd the situation was. Poor Setsuna. Great mysteries of time and paradox aside, there were more important things happening right now. Popsicle or no Popsicle?
Ultimately, Ami decided that she didn't want a popsicle. Hotaru did however. The kid waved goodbye and followed her Setsuna-mama and Haruka-papa to the kitchen. Ami swore she saw the kid wink as she left.
Ami and Mako were left standing alone in the tiny bedroom.
Ami swung back and forth between two extremes. Should she be thanking Hotaru right now...or should she be plotting bloody vengeance?
Hotaru left her and Mako alone - probably on purpose.
Things weren't difficult between them per se. The elephant in the room was just getting larger and larger.
Makoto coughed. The longer this "situation" went unresolved, the more it seemed to come up. It was getting uncomfortably stuffy in the small bedroom.
Both women searched around for idle conversation. Mako found her voice first.
"...so...I noticed your hand seems better. How's it feel?"
Ami was happy to answer and happier to break the awkward silence. She flexed her left hand and held it out for Mako to see. There was no tremor at all. A good sign after the amount of time she just spent tinkering with the tiny components of Hotaru's toy. It had been a year and a half since she'd crushed her hand to escape Pandora's trap, and it was only recently that she'd become fully confident in its use again.
"Beautiful...I can finally do that without shaking like a leaf. I think I'm about ready to try actual surgery again. I'm surprised it took this long though...I suspect that self inflicted injuries take longer. Likely some sort of loophole in our Senshi healing abiliites..."
Ami could have been talking about hand, but Makoto suspected she wasn't. Ami's face darkened and she seemed to give herself a little nod of encouragement before she spoke again.
"No, sorry Mako. I didn't mean to lie just now. I knew that as a fact already. For obvious reasons... scars seem to be the other exception to our healing abilities too."
Ami had her pick of scars to prove her point; the violence of the past 6 years were written all across her skin. Most visibly, the red scar Pandora cut on her cheek stood out like a tattoo of a kiss.
At least that was all in the past now. Mako moved the conversation ahead to focus on the future.
"Perfect timing Ami. You start your residency Juuban Medical University Hospital in a few weeks right?"
Ami followed the abrupt change in topic with a thankful nod.
"Yes. First of October. As soon as my probation ends. I start in general surgery...thinking of specializing in trauma surgery in the long run. I figure the patients there might appreciate a doctor who looks like they've been through some pain...and, to be honest, the adrenaline rush there appeals to me. I'm very lucky to get this opportunity - especially having a criminal record and all."
"I don't know. You've worked pretty hard. After everything that's happened, I'd say that you made your own luck."
They laughed together. The awkwardness faded as their natural friendship took over.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence Mako-chan. Not to undermine myself here, but they are planning to pay me next to nothing while working me to near-to-death...and I accepted that offer. That might be their main attraction here. I think I make more money fixing cars now than I will fixing people for Juuban Medical. Go figure. I'm ok without the money but I'll definitely miss the garage. Ichinose-san's a good person. She really took a chance on me. I owe Mamoru-san one for the introduction too."
Ami smiled, a charmingly crooked grin that very deliberately highlighted her facial scar. It was an odd little smile that Makoto had seen more and more frequently over the past few months. She didn't quite know what it meant.
"Ami-chan... I've got to ask. I've seen you do this alot lately. Why do you keep drawing attention to the scar on your face? Is that deliberate?"
"Oh! Is it that noticeable? Well.. yes...I guess it is sort of deliberate.I know it sounds strange, but I kind of like the scar there. It throws off other people's expectations of me immediately. I find it easier to be myself when I don't have have to pretend to be anything else. I guess that's why it's become a bit of a habit now...and also, it bloody well itches. "
Ami scrunched up her face and scratched at the scar like a cat. Makoto dissolved in a fit of giggles. It was cute, but it was probably a bad idea. Mako reached for Ami's hand to keep her from scratching.
"Stop that, it'll get infected or something."
Mako's hand covered Ami's in a loose grip as she pulled her hand away from the scar. They touched connected for a moment too long. Mako couldn't bring herself to let go, nor did Ami slip away. Neither wanted to break contact. Hand in hand, they tumbled across the invisible boundaries they had set around themselves.
Mako was first to step back with an apology.
"Sorry Ami. I didn't mean to be awkward. I'm kind of an oaf like that. It's still hard to be so close to you, but not touch you."
There was Kino Makoto, once again bravely charging head first at love - no matter how badly she'd been hurt in the past. Simply brave and honest because that's who she was. Ami felt her heart swell at the proof of this woman's courage, and then break all over again for the pain she caused to this beautiful soul.
Mako looked at Ami intensely, trying to read the thoughts behind her silence.
"Are you alright Ami?"
Ami swallowed the urge to lie. 'Nothing's wrong', 'Just tired' 'Doesn't matter'... The words came to her automatically. A year of effort doesn't easily override a lifetime of training.
Mako deserved the truth from her. She's more than earned it. Ami looked away so as to not make this more difficult.
"I was thinking that that one day, I hope I'll be able to look at you without being sorry."
"I hope you will too. This sucks. Anything I could do to help?"
Ami exhaled a rueful chuckle at Mako's bluntness and the irony of her offer.
"Maybe you could try being less kind and wonderful and understanding? That might help."
Ami's poorly timed quip crashed and burned. It hit too close to home to be taken lightly.
"...I'm sorry again Mako, this isn't your fault, and it isn't fair to you. It's not fair to me either. I see you here, trying your best, and then it just hits me how much I don't deserve you and how I have nothing to offer that's worth your while. I want you so much, yet I can't stand the thought of you being with me. I'm afraid of hurting you again."
"I told you before. I don't care. Maybe you will, maybe you won't. Life isn't fair. Nothing we do or don't do is going to change that. We can only hope for the best."
"Mako...you're always so brave. Once we start down this road, there's no turning back..."
"Hey...I'm scared too Ami. Downright terrified. I remember how I felt when you left. I don't want to ever feel that again."
"And I wouldn't want you to either...Gods. Look at us. This is almost almost funny, in a tragically ironic way. I love you. You love me. This shouldn't be that complicated. But it is."
"Well, we can't help that can we? Life happens. Maybe we are both to blame here."
"...Or possibly just me. It's ok Mako. You are allowed to think that. I'm the one that keeps putting the brakes on things. Even Hotaru tells me I'm being an idiot, and she's 9 years old."
Makoto laughed out loud at that. Ami grinned back honestly. There was a pretty short list of people who were comfortable calling her an idiot, and her little friend was frequently numbers 1, 2 and 3 on that list.
"Out of the mouth of babes right Ami? Nah. It's ok. I don't think it's just you. We both need to figure this out together or else it wouldn't work. I wouldn't want to risk our friendship for anything either. Besides... you're not the only one who's been told they were being an idiot. I mean, just look at us! I wonder what our friends would say to us now?"
"Believe in Love! ...Or in the name of the Moon, Mars, Venus, and other assorted celestial bodies, we will punish you?"
Ami laughed at her own lame joke. Mako's good humour was catching on and she was trying to take herself less seriously. Ami knew more or less what her friends would say. 'Makenai!' She could practically feel a little cheerleader Minako sitting on her shoulder and shoving her at Mako. The mental image was amusing and not too far off from the truth. Real-life Minako had been on her case about this for the better part of a year now...
"Did you know that Minako still brings up that time I spent the night at your house? Damn ankle monitor."
"What? That almost a year ago! You just slept on the couch because Rei showed up to surprise Minako with those -"
Ami waved Mako off before the end of that sentence. She remembered answering the door that day and the crazy nosebleed she got well enough...oh the adventures of being Mianko's roommate...
"I know, I know. Don't remind me! You go clear that up with the 'Goddess of Love' though. She's convinced that we belong together forever..."
The off the cuff remark hung in the air. Just like that, the moment of levity was over. Ami knew there was no running away this time.
"Mako. I've been putting this off for a while now, but I need to ask you something. My mother's grave. You took care of it didn't you? I didn't ask at first, but the gravestone was clean the first time I saw it. I know I don't have any other family...so...it was you wasn't' it?"
Mako nodded.
"Thank you. It means the world to me. I could never thank you enough. I need to know one thing though. Why did you do it?"
"Why are you asking now?"
"I think I'm ready to know. Please, just answer my question."
"It was for me I guess...at first, I was waiting for you. I kept hoping I'd find you at the cemetery. It was the only physical tie you had left here. Over time. I accepted that it wasn't going to happen. I let you go and moved on with my life. I mean, I'm the first to admit that it didn't go spectacularly well, but it was something. Just by then, your mother started to feel a bit like family to me personally... I couldn't just let her grave go neglected, so I kept it up. I'm glad I did. You did find your way home after all."
"I did. It was a long time coming. You know, Mother was always fond of you. I think she'd approve."
Ami held her hand out to Makoto.
"... still I'm glad you were able to move on Mako-chan. I'm not the same person I was before. Maybe that means we can get a fresh start."
Mako took the offered hand with a smile.
"Works for me. I like to think I've grown up some over the past 6 years too."
"It's been a long time. To a new beginning then. What happens next Mako?"
Mako pulled Ami closer in response. Ami slid into the embrace easily. They stared into each others eyes. The moment could have gone on forever and neither would have noticed.
"OH FOR GOODNESS SAKE! In the name of love... JUST KISS ALREADY!"
Ami had no idea when Minkao had arrived, or how long sh'e been watching form the hall, but she was happy to take her advice. She leaned up closer to Mako's beautiful blushing face and whispered the one thing she'd feared she'd never say again:
"I love you."
They kissed.
- The End -
A.N.
To everyone that thought Minako was joking about that ankle monitor back in Chapter 13...she wasn't.
Sounds like there's more story there...and I wouldn't be the Drifter if I didn't write it. The story continues with a comedic interlude titled "Blue Fuku, White Collar" and again in a romance serial titled "Ami and Makoto - 5 Years and a Day".
Now, seriously. It means alot to me to be able to finally write and share my little slice of Sailor Moon fandom. From the first publication of Ami's Story in 2009, to this chapter in 2016. It's been a long ride. My thanks yet again to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed, and favourited. I hope you all enjoyed the journey.
Right now, I'm going to kick back and enjoy the big happy ending. I couldn't help myself. It had to be Mako/Ami. I am a big romantic sap. The story ends on a kiss and I think they've earned it.
Until then, cheers to you all,
- Drifter