NOTE: This chapter contains sexual content/dubious consent.
Toki was set on a path of self destruction.
He began every day by drinking vodka while the others ate breakfast. Within a week, it didn't even burn when it went down. Not his throat, at least. It did do a number on his stomach, and by lunch he often found himself vomiting alcohol, bile and sometimes blood.
His cure was more drinking. Usually beer with shots interspersed.
No one wanted to say anything - it went against their rules, of course. Charles had been the only one to speak up. He'd given Toki a brief speech about how he was worried about the younger man's health after Toki had fallen down the stairs.
Toki didn't listen. Instead, he began adding more to the mix. Pickles had a good stash of drugs, and he didn't mind sharing. They started with weed and worked up to blow. Pickles had to teach Toki how to snort it, and it made Toki's nose bleed, but he enjoyed the rush that came with it. It left him jittery. Usually, he ended up randomly cleaning things around Mordhaus when he was high. It seemed to calm him.
After fifteen or sixteen hours of this, he would crash. Sometimes in his bed, sometimes on the floor of whatever room he happened to be in.
On this particular night, he had ended up with Skwisgaar, in the blonde's bedroom. Skwisgaar had wanted to talk to him about their recent practices - Toki had been fucking up every single song and the older man was getting pissed. It soon became clear, though, that Toki wasn't taking in anything he was saying. The Norwegian was too drunk or high or both.
Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em.
"Tokis," Skwisgaar said, "Whats you on?"
"Hm?" Toki looked up at Skwisgaar with bloodshot eyes.
"Dudes, you looks like shits."
"Fuck yous," Toki replied. "Yous looks likes shits too."
"Whats you on?" Skwis tried again.
"Wouldn't yous likes to knows!" Toki grinned, then took a swig of vodka.
"Its gots to be mores than vodka."
Toki shrugged and handed the bottle over, not answering his bandmates question.
Skwisgaar rolled his eyes but took a drink. The booze hurt his throat as it went down, but he ignored it. It would take him to where he wanted to go soon enough.
00
Thirty minutes later, Skwisgaar was sufficiently buzzed. He was now in a pretty good mood, and he was no longer angry at Toki.
Toki, however, was beginning to feel sad.
"Whats wrong?" The blonde asked. "Why ams yous sad? Ams your dad?"
Toki's lower lip began to tremble. He reached for the vodka bottle, but found it empty. That was the last straw.
"I miss my dads," he whined.
Skwisgaar sighed.
"I knows, Tokis. But he hurts yous. Yous shoulds remember that."
"Ams my fault."
"He was goings to dies soon anyways," Skwis tried to console him. "Yous made it less painful."
Hearing this, Toki began to cry.
"I killeds him!
Skwisgaar sighed.
"Whats else do yous haves to takes?" He referred to the drugs that Toki was clearly on. "Maybes we should takes some mores?" Doing that would be easier than dealing with Toki's emotions.
Toki reached into his pocket and pulled out a small bag filled with cocaine and a few tiny yellow pills. He picked two of the pills out and handed one to Skwisgaar.
"Pickle said it will makes me happy," Toki explained.
Skwisgaar looked the pill over. It had a tiny sunshine printed on it.
"Ecstasies is good, ja," he agreed. He popped one in his mouth and watched as Toki did the same.
"Whats abouts thats?" He pointed at the blow.
Toki shrugged and began carving out a line. He took one hit, Skwisgaar took two.
00
Another hour passed. Skwisgaar was definitely feeling the effects of the drugs, as was Toki, though in different ways. The lead guitarist felt happy and awake, while Toki was more subdued. He had calmed down and stopped crying at least.
The two had ended up sprawled on Skwisgaar's bed.
"Yous feels betters now?" Skwisgaar asked.
"Hmm," Toki sighed. "I feels goods, I thinks."
"Thats goods."
Toki was laying on his stomach, staring at his hands. He'd removed his shirt and pants some time prior, claiming to be too hot. When he moved to stretch, his body caught Skwisgaar's eye. From the back, Toki looked almost… pretty. Almost like a fit woman, especially with his long brown hair.
"Tokis, maybes you shoulds get laids. Its woulds helps."
"Maybes," Toki responded, stretching yet again. This time he set himself down and spread his legs wide, stretching the tight black boxer briefs he was wearing.
Skwisgaar stared, feeling slightly aroused.
"Tokis, yous…" He trailed off, as Toki turned to look at him, flashing his pretty blue eyes. Even though he had bags under them, Skwisgaar thought that they looked nice.
Maybe it was the drugs. It was probably the drugs. Oh well.
"Whats?" Toki asked.
"Yous really in shapes." Skwisgaar ran a finger down Toki's back, over his butt and onto his leg.
Toki shivered, but grinned.
"Yous likes that?" Skwisgaar questioned.
"Mm, yeahs. It felts goods."
Taking that as his cue, Skwisgaar touched Toki again, this time letting his fingers linger on Toki's rear. Toki groaned in pleasure, his skin becoming goosebumped.
"Wows," Skwisgaar mumbled. Toki was pretty easy game.
Toki turned on his side to face him. It was then that Skwisgaar noticed that the younger man was half hard himself.
"Wows, yous reallys likes that!"
"I dos."
Skwisgaar's mind began to race. This was a bad idea - had to be. It could cause so many problems down the line, but… But it seemed like it would be fun. So much fun. And Toki was enjoying it, he seemed to want more…
Skwisgaar ran a hand through Toki's hair, teasing it as he touched.
"Yous ever beens with a mans, Tokis?"
Toki blushed.
"Once, yeahs. Maybes a few times."
"A fews times?!" Skwisgaar's eyes grew wide. "So...you wouldn't minds, then?"
"It feels so good," Toki replied, looking up at Skwisgaar yet again, giving his best bedroom eyes.
"Fucks, Tokis." Skwisgaar was fully hard. He moved closer to the shorter man, and began kissing his back, making his way to Toki's neck and ears. It felt strange to be doing it - he rarely kissed groupies that he fucked, but for some reason, he felt that he had to kiss Toki.
Toki groaned again and began trying to kiss Skwisgaar back, but the blonde disallowed it, choosing to get on his knees instead.
Slowly, gently, he began removing Toki's underwear. Toki shimmied his legs to help. It was soon tossed to the floor.
"Gets ons all fours," Skwisgaar instructed.
Toki did as he was told.
"Goes slows, please," Toki said, as Skwisgaar put his hands on Toki's sides.
Toki was pleasantly surprised to feel Skwisgaar's fingers and what felt like lube or spit touch his hole. Skwisgaar had apparently been down this road, either with a male or female, and he knew something about preparing his partner.
Toki squeaked as he felt Skwisgaar's fingers stretch him out. It felt good, but a little painful. It had been years since he'd done this.
There were a few more kisses planted on his back before he felt nails scratch his sides. Toki made another high pitched noise.
"Yeahs, yous likes that," Skwisgaar mumbled.
With that, he began inserting his tip.
00
The encounter was slow for the first few seconds, but suddenly, Skwisgaar had picked up speed. He pulled Toki's hair as he pushed in and out and ignored Toki's pleas to slow down, take his time. Such a request would be impossible; Toki's hole was too tight, too warm. He wanted it, now.
It took less than five minutes for Skwisgaar to finish, spilling his seed inside of his younger bandmate. When he did, he pushed Toki away with a grunt, then landed on the bed, breathing heavily. He felt totally drained, mentally and physically.
Toki fell to his side, also out of breath, still hard. Skwisgaar took one look at him and frowned.
"Yous can jerks yourselfs off, yeahs?"
Toki was about to respond that no, Skwisgaar should have that honor, but the blonde had already closed his eyes.
00
The next morning, Toki awoke in Skwisgaar's bed, but the other man was nowhere to be found. He recalled little of the previous night.
His body hurt and his head throbbed. After a few minutes, he began to feel sick.
He pushed himself to a sitting position, only then realizing that his bottom also hurt. A flash of realization came across his mind. He'd slept with Skwisgaar. Well, rather, Skwisgaar had fucked him.
Toki glanced around, hoping that perhaps his bandmate was in the bathroom, and hadn't left him there all by himself on the morning after they'd had sex.
No, Skwisgaar was gone. He had probably left long ago. Toki stifled a groan and got to his feet. He hurried down the hall back to his own room and locked the door.