The next month was awkward and painful.
Toki had attempted to seek Skwisgaar out, but the blonde had ignored him. At mealtimes, Skwisgaar made it a point to sit as far away as possible. If Toki spoke to him, he was even more terse than usual, giving Toki snippy yes or no answers only.
Practice was especially bad. If Toki made the smallest mistake, Skwisgaar would go off on him, telling him how bad he was and how he seemed to be getting worse with time rather than better, and how it amazed him that such a thing was possible.
Skwisgaar had said these things loudly, and to Toki's dismay, the others had simply grunted in agreement. No one bothered to stand up for him. He was used to that, but for some reason, it hurt more now.
Toki couldn't come up with any explanation for it, besides that perhaps Skwisgaar was trying to put as much distance between them as possible. As if he wanted Toki to know that sleeping with him had been a massive, embarrassing mistake, and that in no way were they in any type of relationship. Not that Toki had mentioned it, but he wondered of Skwisgaar feared that he might.
In the end he decided to stay away. He holed up in his room, making model airplanes and reading comics. He emerged for practice and at mealtimes only, and even the latter was only occasional. Toki had begun making a habit of eating in his room. It was easier to be alone, rather than having to be near Skwisgaar.
00
Besides the emotional turmoil, Toki had another problem: for several days, he'd felt incredibly sick.
It tended to start in the mornings, right when Toki first woke up. At first he thought that he was experiencing hangovers, but he found that he was sick even when didn't drink - something that was pretty difficult. Drinking had become more of a habit than Toki wanted to admit, and when he stopped, he often felt shaky.
He wondered if it was some type of stomach virus, then. Maybe one of the Klokateers had brought a germ to Mordhaus, and he'd picked it up.
But, it only seemed to last for an hour after he woke up. He would get out of bed, proceed to vomit up everything in his system, then he would be fine on that front, unless he smelled something that set him off. He'd recently developed numerous food issues - the scent of certain things brought the sickness back. Toki had often found himself smelling eggs or breakfast meats and running to the nearest restroom.
The dizziness had him most concerned though. And the fact that he seemed to feel totally drained, even after getting enough sleep.
It was miserable, really. He felt pissy and frustrated and tired. This caused him to feel angry at the smallest, most miniscule things.
After two months, the rest of the band began to notice it. Nathan had called him out for throwing down his guitar after Skwisgaar had insulted him. It had shocked the singer - he never would've imagined Toki doing that to instrument, but Toki hadn't been able to hold back. And Pickles was constantly staring at him, as if he were studying him. A few times the drummer had made it a point to ask him how things were going, which was Pickles' way of showing concern.
Things got even worse when the others noticed him vomiting one morning. He hadn't been able to make it to the bathroom, so he'd puked in the sink. There were some comments about it being pretty gross, and how he should be careful not to spread his disease to everyone else. Ultimately, Charles pulled Toki aside.