Nathan knew that something was up with Toki. Though it went against the band's rules regarding caring about other member's personal lives, he couldn't help but feel concerned. Toki was like a little brother to him.
Whatever it was, Skwisgaar had something to do with it. He'd been really treating Toki like crap lately, giving him a hard time during practice and even during their free time. Normally, Toki let it roll of his back, but lately he seemed to be hurt by Skwisgaar's remarks. And, there was the fact that he'd isolated himself from everyone else, not to mention his mysterious sickness.
It had been a month since Toki had rushed to the kitchen sink and vomited up what little was in his stomach, and in that time, Nathan had seen him turn green at least once a week. Most of the time, he was able to play it off as taking a bathroom break, but there were two instances where he'd gotten sick in front of everyone else.
Sighing, Nathan decided to talk to Toki about it one-on-one, as soon as the timing seemed right.
00
All of that thinking about Toki had made Nathan's head hurt. There was nothing else on the agenda that day, so he made his way out to the hot tub, intent on relaxing. He had just approached it when he noticed Toki sitting outside of it, cup of what appeared to be tea in hand. He was talking to Pickles, who was taking a soak.
"Pickles. Toki," Nathan greeted them.
He slid into the hot tub and leaned back.
"Hey, Toki, you wanna come in? Might help ya calm down," he suggested.
"I told him the same thing," Pickles said, "But he won't go."
"I'ms okays," Toki replied, "Maybe I goes in laters."
Nathan raised an eyebrow, but considered that this was one of Toki's ways of keeping to himself.
"So… You got tea there?" Nathan tried to make conversation.
"Ja, herbal tea."
"That's… nice."
"Yeah, ever since Toki gave up drinkin' he's been doin' that herbal stuff," Pickles noted. "Good fer you, Toki."
The remark seemed sincere, and Toki half smiled.
"Hmm," Nathan hummed to himself. He'd noticed that Toki had cut down on the booze and drugs, too. While that was good, he wondered why Toki had had such a sudden change of heart.
00
The chance to talk to Toki came up sooner rather than later. Toki had stormed off to his room after Skwisgaar insulted him. Nathan waited a few hours until the coast was clear for him to visit.
"Toki?" He called out, knocking on his door. "You in there? It's Nathan."
"Come ins," Toki called out.
Nathan opened the door, walked in and closed the door behind him. He absolutely did not want anyone else walking by and hearing their discussion.
He frowned when he saw Toki - the younger man was curled up on his bed, facing the wall. He held his deddy bear to his chest.
"I know, uh, this goes against, uh, our rules, but, uh… Well… I'll just say it, I care about you and I'm worried about you. You don't talk much at all, and you keep getting sick even though you stopped drinking…"
Toki curled into himself a little bit more. He refused to meet Nathan's gaze.
"If I tells you, can you keeps it secrets?"
"Uh, sure. Yeah."
"I'm pregnants."
Nathan stared at him for a second, then burst out laughing. Toki sighed angrily.
"What? That's a good joke- why are you so mad?" Nathan chuckled. "Pregnant. Right. Really though, what's wrong?"
"I'm not jokings!" Toki yelled, sitting up. "I knew you wouldn'ts believes me!"
Toki looked both angry, and as if he wanted to cry.
Nathan stopped laughing.
"Come on, Toki. Guys can't get pregnant. I know you were kinda sheltered a child and all, but you at least have to know that."
"I ams pregnant! Here!" He reached under his pillow and pulled out his latest ultrasound photo.
Nathan took it and looked it over. He was silent for quite a while.
"You… You're serious?"
"Ja! I haves to sees a doctors and everythings."
"...Wow." He handed the photo back. "I need to sit down."
Toki made room for Nathan on the bed.
"This is why you've been all weird lately?"
"The doctors says I can'ts go in the hot water. Hads to stops drinking too. Ands drugs."
"Wow. When's it due? Do you gotta… ya know… push it out of your butthole or something?"
Toki looked at him as if he'd been insulted.
"No I dos not! The doctors will cuts me open and takes the babies out."
"There's more than one?!"
"Just one."
"Oh. Okay, that's better than pushing it out your butt."
Toki rolled his eyes.
"The babies will comes in six months."
"Huh." Nathan pondered this. He wondered if Toki would leave the band once the baby was born, of if he would stay, or if he would even keep the kid or give it up for adoption.
Then another question came to him: Who was the other parent? He asked Toki about it, and when he did, Toki's eyes teared up.
"I donts wants to tells you," he finally admitted. "But ams someones you knows."
"Skwisgaar, right?"
Toki's eyes widened.
"Hows you knows?!"
"'Cause he's been being a total dick to you. I figured something happened. I guess he's not taking it well?"
"He doesn't knows." Toki clutched deddy bear to his chest again.
"He's gonna figure it out eventually."
"No he won'ts," Toki argued. "I won'ts tells him."
"He's gonna figure out that you're pregnant, at least. You're gonna, you know. It's gonna show."
"I knows. I figures it outs."
"Alright," Nathan said, getting up. "Well, if you need anything… Ask for it in secret. The others will think it's gay if I care about you."
Toki knew what Nathan meant. He cared, and that made Toki feel good.