DELETE
Part Eight: Decode
Nowaki left the hospital and went to his apartment. Since there was nothing better to do besides distressing about Hiroki the man took a bath and head straight to bed. He didn't even bother to eat dinner. Nowaki clawed under his covers and close his eyes. Along with it he took a deep breathe to control his emotion but that didn't work. What he really wants to do but never had the chance was to cry. There is still armor covering his fragile shell and he is not about to sob over some misunderstanding with Hiroki. It was to be expected for his lover to forget a lot of things. It is a normal thing and his emotions got the best of him today. It was just the look on Hiroki's face that threw him off. Just the very look of his face made him heartbroken but at the same time happy. This is a mystifying emotion that he just can't comprehend with it. Was he delighted or was he miserable? Is there a hint of anger in there or is it possibly jealousy. All these emotions group up into his body and somehow he cannot decide what he feels. It was like he is in a numb state and his thoughts are piled up together which throws off his body.
'Is this what they call depression?' Nowaki assume
He rolled over to the other side of the bed and rest onto Hiroki's side. Nowaki took Hiroki's pillow from his head and held it tight into his loving arms.
'No, this is just me being paranoid.'
He laughed it off silently but his thoughts remain. If Hiroki really did lose all of his memory and this isn't temporary what would happen? The tall man rest in his lovers spot for a few minutes with a blank mind. He then turns around into his corner and open his eyes and stare at the wall close by to the end table. He grins at the small recognizable dent Hiroki made when he was having his cute little rampage about his superior at work and began throwing books into the wall. Nowaki tough the white dent with his left first finger and gently scratches some of the paint off. Some of the paint and cement went under Nowak's short nails. Once again he enters memory lane and remembers how beautifully long his lover finger nails were. They were clean and well groom as well as sharp. Those can be a lethal weapon if he ever chooses to use them or can be a great for scratching peoples back when they get that annoying itch.
If Hiroki was an animal then Nowaki would see him as a cat. Cats are filled with pride and are aggressive, selfish loners. They come to their owners when want to and if you piss them off prepare to meet their wrath. Out of all these attributes and down sides they're really love creatures. They are the most rewarding part of it and once you get the taste of it you want more. Breaking down every barrier until the last coat of armor has been shield off. Once you accomplish that you will see how vulnerable and helpless they really are. Hiroki is exactly the same way. Nowaki rip off the blanket from his body and open the drawer next to him. He grabs one of his note books and tears off a sheet of paper clumsily. He grabs a red pen from the drawer and begins writing.
'NEW YEAR RESOLUTION LIST'
Get Hiro-san to regain his memories.
Ask for marriage
Have Hiro-san's parents blessing for marriage.
Get Hiro's father to fully accept our lifestyle
Get Tsumori off the idea of having Hiro-san fall in love with him
It's a bit too early to write this type of list since Christmas has not even pass by yet but Nowaki is determine to accomplish his first goal. While the second quest is a bit nonrealistic and not even possible in japan, still this doesn't held him back to having a small privet wedding in a backyard or something similar of some sort. The sixth pursuit has made Nowaki wonder. What should he accomplish? He smile and wrote down
'Have Hiro-san fall in love with me again.'
This got him a bit depressed but he has to look in the good side of the future. Tomorrow he is going to see Hiroki again and he wants apologize for what he has done earlier today.
If Nowaki got Hiroki to fall in love with him once, he can surely do it twice.