A/N: First of all, so sorry for all the inconvenience, guys! I did post this chapter earlier, but due to some reason, it didn't show up on . I'm so sorry for all the confusion it caused, but don't worry, the problem is fixed now. No further inconveniences will occur. Now, here's chapter 5, the one you've all been waiting for!
Night fell, and Meredith snuggled under the blankets in her bed as she reached for the small black notebook lying on her bedside table. It had been three weeks since she had lost her diary and come home with someone else's notebook and Meredith had finally overcome the guilt of reading someone else's personal diary. She had decided that it was highly improbable that she would ever meet the owner of the diary in real life, and so she had taken the liberty to read the diary in order to find out a bit about the diary's owner. She had been reading the diary every night before going to bed for four nights in a row now. It had become a nightly ritual for her to read one diary entry before going to bed.
So far, she had discovered that the diary owner was indeed a 'he,' and that his story was far more heart-rending than hers. The Diary Guy had lost his mother to cancer when he had been a child, and as the aftermath of his mother's death, his father had withdrawn himself from Diary Guy and his only sister, Ames. Since his mother's death, Diary Guy had taken the responsibility of himself and his sister on his young shoulders, and the diary entry about his mother's death had made Meredith cry. She had actually cried for a stranger, but how could she have not? It had been so heart-rending that Meredith had been unable to hold herself back. One thing that Meredith had noticed was – even though Diary Guy had every reason to be dark and twisty and emotionally damaged, he was none of those things. Except for the few diary entries following his mother's death, all the other diary entries so far had been nothing but positive and cheerful. Even though Diary Guy had every reason to be a pessimistic, depressed person full of negativity, he was a positive, optimistic person with a completely different outlook towards life. An outlook that seemed very new and fresh to Meredith. An outlook that Meredith wished she could have towards life too.
Opening the diary, Meredith flipped through the pages till she reached the diary entry where she had left off the previous night. Turning the page, she opened the next diary entry and started to read.
17th June, 1992
7:30 p.m.
Today was Ames' birthday! I can't believe she is six years old already! It seems only like yesterday when she was born, and Mom had come home with a small bundle of blankets in her arms. Ames had been such a tiny thing back then, with tiny hands and a tiny face, and bright blue eyes. She had been so adorable – a cute baby. But now, as I look at her, I marvel at how grown-up she is. She's starting in kindergarten next week, and she looks like such a big girl now.
As usual, Dad was MIA the whole day, probably buried in paperwork. I think he didn't even remember that it was Ames' birthday today. Anyway, that didn't stop me from celebrating my baby sis' birthday and having a blast with her. We know how to celebrate in our own way by now.
I bought as many gifts as I could with my pocket money yesterday, and decorated Ames' bedroom with all the gifts in the morning before she woke up. It was a tradition that Mom had started when I was a child. She used to decorate my room with a lot of small presents before I woke up in the morning, so that I would open my eyes to a room full of presents. She did it till the last birthday of mine that she was there for, even though she was already too sick by then. I couldn't break her tradition. Mom would have wanted Ames to have the same kind of birthdays that I had, even though Mom is not here anymore. So, I decorated Ames' room with as many presents as I could buy, and then woke her up to wish her a happy birthday. Ames was so happy and delighted when she saw all the presents that I had got her – the look on her face was priceless. After that, I made breakfast – Ames' favourite obviously – chocolate chip pancakes with syrup.
Breakfast was over quicker than usual (Ames really does eat a lot faster when she has her favourite food in front of her) and then I showed Ames the actual gift that I had got for her – a bike. She was so happy; she had wanted a bike for about 6 months now. I spent the entire day teaching her how to ride a bike, and by the end of the day, she was a pro. We even had a little bike race in the afternoon, and I let Ames win deliberately, just because it was her birthday.
The day ended with a surprise birthday bash that I had planned for her. All her friends from preschool came to our house, and there was pizza and soda and chocolate cake for everyone. I got Ames' birthday cake from the best bakery in our neighbourhood, and we all had a ball during the party.
After the party was over, I finally put an exhausted Ames to bed, but before I left her bedroom, she told me that it was the best birthday she had ever had. I can't express in words how gratified I was when I heard that. I can do anything for my sister's happiness.
Anyway, now I'm off to cleaning all the mess that the bunch of preschoolers created during the party, but I'm not complaining. This was a really small price to pay for my baby sis' happiness. Later, Diary :)
Meredith snapped the notebook shut with a small smile playing on her lips. One thing was clear – Diary Guy loved his sister a lot. From the sounds of it, he was a family man – one who would stick with his family no matter what. Meredith had always thought that guys didn't respect family bonds as much as girls did, but she was wrong. Diary Guy had proved her wrong. And as Meredith placed the diary back on her night table and slid under the covers, she felt something. She felt...a warm feeling surge through her entire body, right from her head to her toes. It was outré and bizarre. Meredith had never experienced anything like it before. She had no idea what the heck the warm feeling was, but Meredith Grey liked the feel of it as she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep.
Derek walked down the familiar path as he made his way to the Seattle Public Library. He hadn't got the chance to visit it the whole week due to back to back shifts at the hospice, so he was eager to step foot inside the library – his safe haven. He was always eager to go to the library, but nowadays, his eagerness was due to a slightly different reason. Not that he didn't love books anymore, because he did. He still loved books to death, but there was also another reason for his keenness to visit the library now. His Library Girl.
Derek smiled a little to himself as he thought of seeing Library Girl again. Maybe, he could ask for her name today, he mused. Entering the library, his eyes automatically turned to the Library Assistant's desk, but what he saw caused his eyes to widen with surprise and made him forgot all about his plans of asking her name.
Library Girl was sitting there, alright. Her dark-blonde tresses were loose today, falling in gentle waves on her shoulders and a few wisps of hair were falling in her beautiful face. She was wearing a bottle green sweater, one that probably brought out the colour of her eyes. But, her eyes – that was what caused Derek's blue orbs to widen. Tears were rolling out of her eyes and down her cheeks as she sat behind the desk crabwise. He could hear her soft sniffles even from the distance, and his chest automatically tightened. Why was she crying? What could possibly be wrong? Derek's mind was immediately filled with questions as he walked towards Library Girl's desk in long strides. He needed to get to her and ask her what was wrong; he needed to be close to her...he needed to comfort her. Derek just needed to be close to Library Girl, and the few metres between them were killing him.
Reaching the desk, he suddenly stopped dead in his tracks. How was he going to call her? He didn't even know her name. She was looking downwards and didn't look like she had noticed his presence in any way. How was he going to get her attention and ask her what was wrong? Shit. It was a shortcoming that Derek had never even thought of. Lacking a better idea, Derek decided to clear his throat in order to make his presence known.
"Uh...Ahem..." Derek cleared his throat awkwardly, hoping that it would be enough to grab Library Girl's attention.
Thankfully, it was. Library Girl immediately looked up and locked eyes with him, her pupils dilated with surprise. Derek noticed how moist her eyes were, how wet her long eyelashes were, and the faint pink tinge in the tip of her little nose didn't go unnoticed by him either. God, how could someone manage to look beautiful even while crying?
"You – I..." Library Girl stammered, quickly raising her hands to wipe her cheeks self-consciously.
"I don't mean to intrude, but...Are you okay?" Derek asked, his eyes softening as he gazed at her.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," she replied, rubbing her eyes with her palms.
"Well, you don't look fine," Derek remarked and mentally chided himself at how snippy that sounded. "I mean," he said, "I know we barely know each other, but if anything's wrong...You can...tell me. I'm a very good listener."
To Derek's utmost surprise, Library Girl laughed in response. She laughed that melodious laugh of hers, and while Derek welcomed the sound of her laugh that he had missed so much over the last week, he couldn't help but furrow his eyebrows and look at her like she had grown two heads.
She, however, continued to giggle as she noticed the look on Derek's face. Still giggling, she reached for something under the desktop and pulled out a book from one of the drawers.
"I was crying because of this," she said, a smile playing on her lips. "This book. I was reading it, and there was a part that made me cry," she stated simply, shrugging her shoulders.
Derek's mouth rounded and a blush crept up on his face. She had been crying because of a book, and he had jumped on her like...God, what must she be thinking about him?
"It's ok," Library Girl said with a soft smile, as if she had heard his thoughts. "Anyone who looked at me from the other side of the desk would have thought that I was crying for some serious reason..."
"Hmm..." Derek smiled back at her and said, "So, what book were you reading that made you cry? 'Cause I wanna read it too. I don't remember the last time I read a book and cried."
Library Girl wiped the remnants of the tears from her cheeks and said, "Well, I'm reading it now, so you can't read it. But once I finish, you can have it."
"Isn't it rude to turn down readers like that?" Derek asked, quirking his eyebrow playfully. "I don't think you're supposed to be doing that while you're at work."
He noticed as her eyes widened with horror, and he immediately tacked on, "I was joking. I'm ok with waiting till you're finished reading it." He gave her a wide grin to reassure her that he was indeed joking.
"Oh," she said with a relieved sigh as she shifted in her chair. "That's...I thought that...But, I guess it is kinda rude to keep you waiting like that," she said as she caught her bottom lip between her teeth. "How about, I myself pick out a book for you to read today? As compensation?" she asked, the corners of her lips twitching.
Derek's heart jumped a little in his chest as he let his eyes linger on her face for a fraction of a second before replying, "That works wonderfully."
She laughed as she got up from her chair and came out. Derek noticed the black faded jeans that she was wearing with her sweater as she moved out from behind her desk. The jeans fit her well, they fit her really well.
"Shall we go?" she asked as she already started walking towards the shelves.
"Yeah, of course," Derek said as he followed suit.
Derek watched as she moved from shelf to shelf, tapping her fingers gently against the spines of the books as she walked. Her eyebrows were knitted together, her nose was scrunched up in the most adorable way, and her bottom lip was caught between her teeth as she contemplated on which book she should pick out for him. As she concentrated on the books, Derek was contently concentrating on her.
He took in the way her hips swayed gently as she walked, and his eyes raked over her toned, shapely legs, something he hadn't got the chance to admire before. She mostly stayed behind her desk, how would he get the chance to admire her legs?
"Aha!" she suddenly exclaimed, starting Derek out of his stupor. His eyes snapped up to see that she had stopped walking, and was trying to pull out a book from the topmost shelf.
"Have you read Dan Brown's 'Angels and Demons?'" she asked as she stood on her tiptoes to pull the book out.
"No, I haven't. I only read 'The Da Vinci Code,'" Derek replied as he immediately walked closer to her. "Move, let me pull it out," Derek said as he motioned her to move over without touching her.
"No, I can get it," she replied adamantly as she continued her efforts of pulling the book out of the shelf with both her hands.
"I'm taller than you, I can get it easily," Derek argued, as he had the sudden urge to grab her waist and move her out of the way himself. It seemed to be the only way, since she was so stubborn.
She stopped her efforts momentarily and turned her face to give him a pointed look. Derek immediately forgot his urge to grab her waist and backed away a little. He had no idea that a look from her could be so scary. She didn't come across as the scary type.
Library Girl turned her attention back to the task at hand, and Derek leaned against the bookshelf as he watched her with an amused expression. She was so stubborn – he had no idea that she could be so stubborn. But, if anything, this newly discovered quality of hers only endeared her a little more to him.
As she stood on her tiptoes with both her arms raised above her head, Derek's eyes alighted on her waist. Her bottle green sweater had ridden up a little due to the movement of her hands, exposing an inch of the smooth, pale, creamy skin of her lower back. Derek's cerulean eyes took in the exposed inch of creamy skin and he gulped. He had guessed from her peaches and cream complexion that her skin was probably very downy and smooth, but seeing her skin in front of his eyes...He hadn't even prepared himself for that and he gulped again as he resisted the urge to reach out and touch her smooth enticing skin.
"Got it!" Library Girl exclaimed loudly, causing Derek's eyes to snap up from her waist. His eyes locked on hers as he saw that she had successfully pulled out the book from the shelf, and was now staring at him with surprised eyes.
Shit. She had caught him staring.
"Uh – I – that's great," Derek said lamely as he watched her tug on the hem of her sweater self-consciously. God, she was probably thinking that he was a lecher!
"Um – sorry," she said, causing Derek's eyes to dilate with shock. He was the one who should be apologizing for staring at her like that, but then, why was she saying sorry?
"Why?" Derek asked bluntly.
"For...for glaring at you like that. I know that you were being a gentleman and trying to help, but I really dislike it when...you know, men suggest that they can do something easily and I can't. I just...I know it sounds very feminist, but I feel very emasculated when guys do that," she rambled, causing the heavy tension in the air to dissipate.
"Oh," Derek said, his respect for her increasing a little, "I – I didn't want to emasculate you or make you feel like you couldn't do it because you're a girl...I was just... trying to help. I'm sorry."He wondered if he should say sorry for gawking at her too.
However, Library Girl rewarded him with one of her light-up-the-entire-room-in-a-minute smile and said, "I got that. It's ok. Let's just pretend that this never happened, okay?"
Derek nodded his head and mirrored her smile as he tried to ascertain whether she was referring to his staring too while saying that.
"Okay, so...here's your book," she said as she held out the book to Derek, and he took it from her gently. "Oh, and, you can have the book that I'm reading after an hour," she tacked on with a smile as she started walking back towards her desk.
"Wait, no, you don't have to do that – "Derek started to say, but he was cut off when she stopped walking and turned around to face him.
"No, I'm not doing that," she said with a giggle. "I'm leaving early today, in about an hour, that's why you can have the book," she stated.
"Oh," Derek said, his face falling. She was going to be there only for an hour? He didn't get to see her for an entire week, and now, he gets to see her only for an hour? That was so not fair. "Um – Can I ask why?" he said nervously, hoping that she didn't take it the wrong way. They had never talked about anything personal thus far, and why she had to leave early that day probably fell in the category of 'personal stuff.' Yet, Derek couldn't hold himself back from asking her.
To Derek's relief, she didn't look affronted in the least bit. Instead, she gave him a small smile as she replied, "Do you have any siblings?"
Derek nodded as he said, "Yeah, one sister."
Library Girl grinned at him and said, "Wow, what a coincidence! I've only one sister too. And...I've to leave early today because she has some important stuff to talk about. You get it, right?"
Derek raised his eyebrows in realization as he replied, "Oh, I do get it."
Library Girl gave him a small laugh as she turned around and started walking away, her hips swaying gently yet enticingly.
"Hope you have fun," Derek called out to her and she turned around to look back at him with a small smile.
"Thanks, I will. Enjoy your book," she rejoined as she walked back to her desk and seated herself behind it.
Derek locked eyes with her from across the room and his lips curved upwards into a lopsided grin. "I will," he murmured to himself as he sighed and made his way to his usual table – the one from which he had a clear view of his Library Girl.
"Lex, I'm home!" Meredith called out to her sister as she slammed the front door shut and shucked her overcoat. It was afternoon, and Meredith had come home from the Library early, just like she had promised Lexie.
Minutes later, Lexie came plodding down the stairs and greeted Meredith with a smile. "Hey, Mer!" she said as Meredith plopped down on the large couch in the living room. "How was your day?" Lexie asked as she plopped down beside Meredith.
"Good. It was good. So, why did you ask me to come home early?" Meredith queried as she rolled up the sleeves of her shirt.
"That...You've to come to my bedroom in order to find out," Lexie said, getting up.
Meredith furrowed her brows and asked quizzically, "Why? Why can't you tell me here?"
"Because...Mer, let's just go to my room. We'll have more privacy there," Lexie said cajolingly as she caught Meredith's arm and tugged on it.
"Fine," Meredith conceded and got up. She followed Lexie up the stairs and inside her bedroom.
"So..." Meredith said as she and Lexie entered Lexie's bedroom and Lexie shut the door, "What did you want to talk to me about?"
Lexie turned around and faced Meredith with a smile playing on her lips. "You," Lexie said, "are going on a date."
Meredith's face froze for a nanosecond, before she closed her eyes and let out a deep sigh. "Lex, please, I'm not in the mood for jokes..." Meredith said as she walked over to Lexie's bed and sat down on the edge.
Lexie smiled at Meredith as she went and stood in front of her elder sister. With her hands on her hips, Lexie said, "I'm not joking. You – are going on a date."
Meredith's eyes snapped open to meet her sister's chocolate brown ones. Meredith stayed mute for a minute before she opened her mouth and said, "What?!"
"There's no reason to be so shocked. I and Dad worked together to arrange a date for you," Lexie said as she moved away from the bed and walked towards her closet.
"Lex, are you crazy?!" Meredith asked as she got up from the bed and stared at her sister with wide eyes. "You and Dad set me up for a date? A blind date, no less?"
"Yes, we did, so deal with it, Mer," Lexie's voice came from the interior of the walk-in closet. A few minutes later, Lexie emerged out of the closet with a brand new black cocktail dress in her hands. "His name's Finn Dandridge. He's the son of one of Dad's friends," Lexie said as she held the cocktail dress in front of Meredith and gave her a small smirk.
Meredith opened and closed her mouth a few times, at a loss for words. "Finn what?!" she managed to fumble out after a few minutes.
"Dandridge," Lexie said as she held out the dress to Meredith. "He's a nice guy. Sweet, funny, friendly. You'll like him."
Meredith raised her eyebrows and shook her head. "Oh no no no. This is not happening. I'm not going out on a date with some random stranger just because you and Dad took the liberty to set me up on a date. No, that's not happening. And how come you know that this Finn guy is nice?"
"I've met him," Lexie said with a nonchalant shrug. "He's nice, believe me. If I wasn't already in a relationship, I'd totally date him. He's good looking too," Lexie tacked on with a wiggle of her eyebrows.
"No!" Meredith blurted out. "I – this – I'm not doing this! I'm not going on a date with a stranger! I don't want to go on a date with some stranger. Lex, you know how I am around guys. I – I get nervous, and I fidget and ramble and stammer...and ugh! I'm a complete mess around guys! You know that! Dad knows it! Why did you two set me up on a date then?" Meredith asked incredulously as she began pacing the room.
"Mer," Lexie said softly, "I know that...you get uncomfortable around guys, but you need this. You're 22, Mer. And you haven't had a single boyfriend yet. And you're not a lesbian – I know that. You – you need to go out a bit, associate with guys. With time you'll get over this nervousness of yours. But for that, you need to be around guys a bit. And Finn is a really nice guy."
Meredith looked at Lexie in shock. She hadn't told Lexie about Library Guy yet, but she wanted to at the moment. She wanted to tell Lexie that around Library Guy, she was not uncomfortable like she was around the other guys. She wanted to tell Lexie that there was something about Library Guy that immediately put her at ease. She wanted to tell Lexie that she got along just fine with Library Guy – heck, she even flirted with him sometimes. She wanted to tell Lexie all that, but she found herself tongue-tied.
"Mer, please. Dad and I'll be really happy if you do this. Do it for us, and I promise you, you won't regret it," Lexie said with a puppy dog look on her face.
"Lex, I..." Meredith trailed off, unable to formulate a response. She didn't want to go on a date with some stranger named Finn. But, she rarely said no to her sister, plus her sister was giving her the infamous puppy dog look. "Where is this Finn guy even taking me? And why do I need to wear this...this weirdly sophisticated...thing?" Meredith finally said as she gestured towards the cocktail dress in Lexie's hands.
Lexie laughed. "This thing," Lexie said, "is also called a cocktail dress. And Finn hasn't told us where he's taking you. He wants to surprise you. See, already one point for him. He just told us to dress you up in something formal."
"I hate surprises," Meredith muttered under her breath. "Lex, how can you and Dad trust this Finn guy? How well does Dad know him? What if this Finn guy is a rapist...or, or a serial killer?" Meredith pointed out.
Lexie chuckled. "Mer, do you really think that I and Dad would set you up on a date with a rapist or a serial killer? Dad has known Finn's father for years. They're fast friends. I can guarantee you that Finn is not a rapist or a psychopath."
Meredith opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. She sighed heavily as she finally murmured, "Can I talk to Dad about this once, please? I just...this is so not my thing, Lex."
Lexie nodded her head understandingly as she came forward and wrapped an arm around Meredith's shoulders. "Dad is still at work. I know you're scared, Mer. But, you've got nothing to be scared of. You can trust Finn as much as you trust me and Dad. And who knows? Maybe you'll really fall for Finn and get married to him someday..."Lexie said with a smile.
Meredith rolled her eyes in response. "Right. Please, Lex. I may have never dated before, but I don't think I'm ever gonna fall for a guy named Finn. And let's not even get to marriage. I'm just going out on one date with him, that too because you're practically coercing me to," Meredith murmured as she snatched the cocktail dress out of Lexie's hands and stared at it in blithe disgust.
"Fine," Lexie said with a titter as she pushed Meredith towards the bathroom. "Now, go and change fast. Then, we have to do your hair and makeup too."
"I can't believe I'm doing this," Meredith muttered as she walked towards the bathroom. "I can't believe that I'm even going to wear this stupid dress and go out on a blind date that my Dad and sister set up. I – this is unbelievable."
"All good things seem surreal," Lexie remarked with a laugh as she pushed Meredith inside the bathroom. "I promise, you're going to have fun tonight."
Meredith sighed as she looked at her sister and said, "I don't know about fun, but this is seriously unbelievable." And with that, Meredith shut the bathroom door and moved to change into the cocktail dress, unaware of what the night had in store for her.
A/N: Uh oh. Small cliff...Mer is going out on a date with Finn. How will her date with Finn go? What if she really likes Finn? Guess away about what you think; I'm always open to suggestions.
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A reply to the reviews –
DarkAndTwistyGrey – Thank you for reading and reviewing! Glad you think so! Hope you liked this chapter!
two harts – Thanks so much! Glad you loved it! They'll make the connection sooner or later, but I've a lot in store for them. Thank you!
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XxthecornykittyxX – Thanks for reviewing! Sure! I read your story, it's pretty good, so keep it up! And thank you for reading and reviewing mine! :)
xtiannax – Thanks a lot! I'm so happy that you think so! I enjoyed writing Tim and Derek's friendship too. Yes, Meredith is reading his diary, as you saw in this chapter. And Mark and Derek...I haven't really thought about it yet, but they could be...You'll get to know when the time comes. Thank you!
CiaraM – Thanks so much! Glad you think so! You'll find out soon whether MerDer find out about the diaries, just be a little patient. More is on the way!
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Patsy – First of all, I don't know whether there are two Patsies here, so I'm replying to both the reviews. Thank you so much for the lovely review! I'm extremely happy that you love this Derek and Meredith. More Tim is on the way! Hope you liked this chapter!
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Patsy – Sorry for the inconvenience! There was a bug in my tab, but the problem is fixed now! I reposted chapter 5! So sorry for the confusion!
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Guest #3 – Yes, chapter 5 is the next update, but things went awry. So sorry for that, but here's chapter 5 now! Thanks for reading!
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Darlene – Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing! I'm extremely happy that you love this story! Now, MerDer going to dinner...Hmmm...I can't exactly comment on that now, as it'll spoil all the fun! You'll find out soon though...Hope you liked this chapter! :)
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