A/N: Hi everyone! I know that y'all have been waiting for this chapter patiently, but college was driving me crazy! Anyway, here's the next instalment and this is an important one for several reasons. This is a long one too, to make up for the delay. Without further ado, I give you chapter 6 of BL...
Meredith's heels clicked annoyingly loud as she made her way down the driveway of her house. Her head was buzzing and her cheeks were flushed with embarrassment as she played the events of the night in her mind. Reaching the front porch of her house, she pushed the door open and walked inside, letting out a relieved sigh on finally being in her safe haven – her home.
"Hey, Mer! How was your date with Finn?" a voice asked, startling Meredith out of her thoughts. She spun around to find her dad sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in his hands.
"Dad!" Meredith exclaimed with a huff. She walked over to him, staggering a little on her high heels and stood in front of her father with her hands on her hips. "Never," she said in a gruff voice, "never ever set me up on a blind date again."
Thatcher looked up at her with a nonplussed expression on his face. "Why?" he asked. "You didn't like Finn? He's a nice boy..."
"Oh, I'm sure that he's pretty nice, alright," Meredith said as she plopped down on the couch beside her father.
"Then? What's the problem? The date didn't go well?"
Meredith let out a sarcastic laugh. "Well? The date was horrible! And don't even get me started on any specifics," Meredith said. "What were you thinking anyway? I and Finn have absolutely nothing in common!"
Thatcher opened his mouth to speak, but then closed it when Meredith cut him a look. His daughter was in a foul mood, and it was better not to provoke her when she was so mad.
"Do you want coffee?" Thatcher asked after a few minutes. "Susan is making coffee for all of us."
"Yeah, I think coffee will make me feel better right now," Meredith said, standing up. "I'll go and get some coffee. Then I'll see Mom. Is Mom still awake?"
Thatcher nodded his head and Meredith made her way to the kitchen where Susan was making coffee for everyone.
"Hey, Susan," Meredith said as she slowly walked over to her stepmother.
"Meredith," Susan said with a nod, barely acknowledging Meredith's presence. She took the carafe and started pouring coffee in the mugs, pretending as if Meredith was not even there.
"I just came to get some coffee for myself," Meredith said as she stood beside Susan. "Um – I can take Mom's coffee to her room too. I'm gonna go to her room to see her anyway," Meredith offered, fiddling with her wrist watch.
"Okay," Susan said tersely as she placed two mugs of coffee on a tray and held it out to Meredith. Meredith took the tray from Susan's hands and started to walk out of the kitchen when Susan's voice cut through the silence.
"How did your date with Finn go?" Susan asked, her back still turned to Meredith.
Meredith whirled around, her eyebrows shooting up. It was one of those very rare occasions when Susan expressed any kind of concern for Meredith or her personal life. Most of the time, Susan didn't even have the time to exchange pleasantries with Meredith, let alone ask her about her personal life.
"I – um –"Meredith stammered, fumbling for the right words to say. "Not very well," Meredith finally managed to utter.
Susan turned around, drying her hands with the dish towel. "Why? Finn is a nice guy," Susan said with a frown.
"Uh...I just...he's not really my type."
Susan's eyebrows shot up, as if she was supremely astonished. "Not your type? Meredith, you haven't dated a single guy in your life. How could you have a type?" Susan asked rhetorically with a sneer.
Meredith didn't know why, but she immediately looked down at her feet. Susan was right – how could Meredith have a type when she hadn't been with a single guy in her life? She didn't have an answer for Susan's question, so she just kept mum.
"If you keep going like this, you're gonna end up unmarried and jobless at 40," Susan said disdainfully. "And your dad and I would still be bearing your expenses."
Tears pricked Meredith's eyelids on hearing Susan's words, but Meredith didn't have it in herself to answer back. What could she possibly say in reply to Susan's acerbic words? She had no answer for her stepmother, so she squeezed her eyes shut to push back the tears and slowly walked out of the kitchen.
Entering her mother's room, Meredith saw that Ellis' in-home nurse, Katie was trying to persuade Ellis to take her meds. Meredith walked over to the duo and set the tray down on the bedside table.
"Katie, give me the meds – I'll give it to Mom," Meredith said to Katie, outstretching her hand to take the medicines from the nurse.
"Alright, Meredith. I've been trying to persuade Dr. Grey to take her pills for ten whole minutes now, but she just won't listen to me," Katie said in a touch frustrated voice.
"It's okay, give them to me. And give us a minute, please," Meredith said, taking the medicines from Katie. Katie nodded and left the room.
"Hey, Mom. How are you?" Meredith said to Ellis with a small smile on her face. She took the medicines and started mixing them in her mother's coffee.
"Mom?" Ellis asked with a puzzled expression. "Why are you calling me Mom?"
"I'm Meredith," Meredith said, stirring the spoon in her mother's coffee. Ellis had Alzheimer's, and it was definitely not one of her lucid days.
"Meredith?" Ellis asked, furrowing her eyebrows. "You can't be my daughter Meredith. She is five years old and lives in Seattle with her dad. You are not my daughter," Ellis said in a definitive voice.
Meredith didn't say anything in response. She knew it was no use trying to remind Ellis. She just smiled and handed the coffee to Ellis.
Ellis accepted the coffee from Meredith and said, "I gave up all my parental rights when I got divorced. I couldn't raise a child on my own. I'm a surgeon – I have my career to think about. Raising a child would have been a huge burden and would have got in the way of my career. No, I am better off without my daughter."
Meredith had to blink a few times in order to push back the tears. She knew why her mother had given it up, but her mom saying it to her face was a lot more difficult.
"By the way, what do you do, Meredith?" Ellis asked, sipping her coffee.
"I – uh – I work at a library. And I want to be a writer," Meredith replied awkwardly, wishing that she could leave the room already. Coming to see her mother had definitely not been a good decision.
"A writer, poo!" Ellis said, disdain lacing her voice. "Writing is a hobby, not a job. And not everyone can become a writer," Ellis said shaking her head. "You should be a surgeon, you have good hands. Long, thin fingers – perfect for precision and dexterity," Ellis advised, looking at Meredith's hands.
Meredith had to bite the inside of her cheek in order to stop herself from saying anything. Why was her day going so badly? First the date from hell with Finn, then Susan, now her mother. Why was everyone picking on her that day?
"Um – I'm gonna go now, Dr. Grey. Have a good night," Meredith murmured and walked out of her mother's room quickly. She ran into Katie outside the room, who took notice of her glassy eyes and asked her if she was okay.
"Yes. I'm perfectly fine," Meredith lied and dashed upstairs to her bedroom. She plopped down on her bed and took off her high heels as tears flowed down her cheeks. No one thought that she had it in her to become a writer – no one except her sister and her dad. Was Susan right? Was she really gonna end up jobless and unmarried at 40? Meredith sniffled as she massaged her feet which had swollen a bit due to the painful heels.
"Mer!" a voice exclaimed from the doorway. "I didn't know that you were back! How was your date?"
Meredith looked up to see her sister standing in the doorway. Meredith quickly raised her hands to wipe her cheeks, but Lexie had already noticed.
"Mer, why are you crying?" Lexie said in an urgent voice as she quickly walked over to her sister and sat down beside her. She wrapped an arm around Meredith's shoulders and asked in a soft voice, "What's wrong? Why are you crying?"
"Nothing, Lex, nothing," Meredith lied as she wiped her cheeks.
"Don't lie to me, Mer," Lexie said in a stern voice. "You wouldn't be crying if it was nothing. What's wrong? Tell me."
Meredith looked up at her sister's face and sighed. Times like these made Meredith miss her diary. Because, no matter what, Susan was Lexie's mother, and Meredith couldn't complain to Lexie about her mom. She knew that Lexie would stand up for her to Susan in a minute, but Meredith didn't want to be the cause of tension between mother and daughter.
"I – nothing. It's stupid...My date with Finn was horrible, that's all."
"Why? What happened?" Lexie asked gently.
"He – he took me to an art gala, Lex! An art gala! I know absolutely nothing about art and I felt like a fool, standing there while people talked about stuff that I have no idea about. I couldn't even tell the difference between a Picasso and a Leonardo Da Vinci! It was so humiliating and boring," Meredith rambled on.
"What? He took you to an art gala as way of a date? Who does that?" Lexie asked in a shocked voice.
"I don't know," Meredith said, "But that's not even the worse part. We were sitting at a table, and I was fidgeting because I get nervous around guys, you know? And I accidentally knocked down his wine glass and spilled the wine on his lap! On his lap, Lexie! And as if that wasn't enough, I got so flustered and embarrassed that I grabbed a napkin and tried to help him clean it up. So, before I knew, I was dabbing a napkin on his thigh, like an utter moron! Can you believe my stupidity?"
"Oh, Mer," Lexie said softly with a sympathetic look on her face. "I – that's – it's not that bad," Lexie said, feebly attempting to comfort her sister.
Meredith laughed sarcastically. "Please, Lex, don't sugar-coat things for me; I'm not five. I get how bad it is, ok? And you wanna know what's next? We barely exchanged two words during the entire night. It was awkward and uncomfortable, and we had nothing in common. And you and Dad were not wrong when you said that Finn was a nice guy. He is, he really is, because even after the supremely horrible date, he – he...when he came to drop me home, he leant towards me to kiss me goodnight! Right outside our house! And you wanna know what I did? I flinched! I flinched like he was trying to stab me or something and left without saying goodbye. So, yes, I think we can conclude that the date was horrible," Meredith finished her monologue, her chest heaving.
"Mer," Lexie said, rubbing Meredith's shoulder sympathetically. "It's okay, it's alright. So what your date with Finn went badly? It happens to all of us. Maybe, he was not right for you. You'll find the right guy one day, I promise. You just have to keep looking," Lexie said firmly.
Meredith sniffled a little, and for some weird reason, Library Guy's face came to her mind. She barely knew him, yet she was so at ease when she was around him – not at all like what she was around other guys. Meredith suddenly had an irresistible urge to tell Lexie about her crush on Library Guy. Susan's earlier words rang in her head and she knew she had to tell Lexie anyway lest she end up going on more awful blind dates with guys like Finn.
"Lex," Meredith started to say, "I – I have to tell you something."
"Yeah, go on. I'm listening," Lexie said.
"I –uh – I," Meredith stuttered, searching for the right words. "I have a crush on someone," Meredith blurted out, waiting for Lexie's reaction.
There was silence for a nanosecond, before Lexie's loud squeal filled the room. "Ahhh! What?! You have a crush on someone?! Oh my God, that's so awesome, Mer! Who is he? What's his name? What does he do? Where did you meet him? Do I know him? What's he look like? Tell me all the deets!" Lexie said, all but jumping up and down with barely contained excitement.
"Lexie, shhh..." Meredith hushed her sister. It was one of the reasons she hadn't told her sister about Library Guy for so long. She knew her sister would go crazy with excitement if she heard. "Take a deep breath, and don't fire all questions at me at once!"
"Oops, sorry," Lexie said with a sheepish grin. "I'm just so...excited and happy for you! Wow, Mer! So, tell me," Lexie prodded.
"Um – you don't know him," Meredith said, thinking how she herself barely knew him. "And...I don't know his name or what he does...He is...Library Guy," Meredith said simply, causing Lexie to furrow her eyebrows.
"Library Guy?" Lexie asked quizzically. "Who is that? And how come you don't know his name? You have a crush on him, right?"
"Yes, Library Guy. A guy I met at the library. A guy I see on a weekly basis at the library. We talk, sometimes, but we haven't really got around to exchanging names or personal details. We mostly talk about books," Meredith explained.
"Oh," Lexie said. "So...What's he look like?"
"Good. Really really good. Very gorgeous and very, very dreamy. He has this head full of the most perfect ebony curls in the world, and his eyes, God, his eyes are midnight-blue, like the ocean. You could look into them and just...drown in them. And his smile...You could look at him all day and not get tired," Meredith said, a tiny smile forming on her lips. "And he loves books! He's a bookworm, just like me. We exchange book recommendations all the time, and he even flirts with me sometimes, I think...And the best part, I'm not a total klutz around him like I usually am around guys. Something about him just...just puts me at ease instantly and totally...Yeah..."
Lexie smiled as watched her sister's eyes light up. Whoever this Library Guy was, he had to be extremely perfect to have Meredith whipped like that. Lexie had never seen her sister so happy while talking about a guy before.
"Wow, you are so into him, aren't you?" Lexie asked with a smile.
"Yeah, yeah, I guess I am..."
"Then ask him out," Lexie suggested simply.
The smile immediately fell from Meredith's face and a look of sheer horror replaced it. Her mouth fell agape as she stared at her sister, wide-eyed for a minute before stuttering out, "Wh – you – What?!"
"Ask him out," Lexie repeated. "Ask him out for coffee."
Meredith blinked a few times, looking at her sister like she had grown two heads. Then, all of a sudden, Meredith burst out into laughter.
Lexie gave Meredith a bemused look as she watched Meredith laugh loudly. "What? What's so funny?"
Meredith laughed and said, "You are kidding, right? That was – that was a good joke. Nice, Lex, you totally got me."
"But, I was not joking, Mer. I'm serious. Ask your Library Guy out," Lexie said firmly, causing Meredith's laughter to cease.
"What?! You are serious?" Meredith said in a horrified voice. "You can't possibly be serious, Lexie."
"Why not?"
Meredith stood up and looked down at her sister in shock. "Because..." Meredith said, throwing her hands up in the air.
"Because?" Lexie probed, standing up to look Meredith in the eye.
"Because...Lex...I – you know – I can't – how can you – I can't ask him out!" Meredith stammered.
"Why not? You just said that you have a crush on him. I've never seen you so excited while talking about a guy. You admitted that you're totally into him. Then, what's the problem? 'Cause I don't see it."
"The problem is..." Meredith said in a high-pitched voice, "The problem is that he might not be into me! And that I can't ask a guy out!"
"You just said that he flirts with you. That normally means that he is into you too," Lexie pointed out.
"No!" Meredith cried. "I said I think he flirts with me. There's a difference, Lexie. It may all be in my head, for all you know. I – I can't ask him out. That's impossible," Meredith said, shaking her head.
"Meredith," Lexie said, "It's not in your head. And how will you ever find out whether he likes you back if you never ask him about it? You've gotta put your feelings out there in order to know his true feelings."
"No, that's – no," Meredith said in a stern voice. "I'm – I'm not doing it. And you can't make me. What if he rejects me? Do you know how humiliating and mortifying that will be?"
"Meredith –"
"No, Lexie. And you have no room to talk, you know. You are not some kind of relationship advisor."
"Well, I certainly have more experience than you," Lexie said in a frustrated voice.
Meredith gasped in shock. "How could you? You – I – I can't believe - Says the girl who doesn't even have the guts to tell Mark that she's in love with him!" Meredith retorted.
It was Lexie's turn to gasp. "Mer! You have no right to – that's not fair! Our situations are totally different!" Lexie cried.
"And how so, Lex? You just advised me that I have to put my feelings out there in order to find out Library Guy's true feelings. Doesn't it apply to your situation too? How will you ever find out whether Mark's in love with you too if you never tell him that you are in love with him? Can't you follow what you preach?"
"That's not – That's so unfair!" Lexie said. "You can't say that!"
"Why not? It's the truth."
Lexie took in a deep breath. She knew that it was quickly turning into a fight, and she could never get Meredith to agree to ask Library Guy out if she let Meredith win. Lexie had to think and act fast – for Meredith's happiness.
Taking in another deep breath, Lexie steeled herself for what she was about to say. "Fine. Fine, Mer. I'll tell Mark that I'm in love with him if you tell Library Guy that you like him. Deal?" Lexie asked, waiting for her sister's response.
Lexie watched as a myriad of emotions flitted across her sister's face – shock, hesitance, doubt, fear. But, Lexie knew that it was the only way that she could ever get Meredith to agree. And Lexie was willing to risk her own heart for her sister's sake.
Finally, after what seemed like an hour, Meredith's face filled with determination as she said, "Fine. Deal. You tell Mark that you love him, and I'll ask Library Guy out."
"Fine. We'll both do it by the end of this week, ok?" Lexie asked.
"I – but – ugh! Okay," Meredith mumbled out.
"Good. Wanna hug on it?" Lexie asked, causing Meredith to crack a smile.
"Come here, you little devil," Meredith said, enveloping her younger sister in a warm hug. Lexie drove her nuts sometimes, but she still loved her sister to death. "I'm sorry for how I – what I said to you. I was mean...Sorry."
"I am sorry too. I was mean to you first. It's alright. We are sisters. Sisters fight, otherwise it'd turn weird, right?"
"Right," Meredith said, hugging her sister and psyching herself up for whatever terrible things were about to come her way.
"So..." Lexie said to Meredith by the end of the week. It was night time and both the sisters were huddled in Meredith's bedroom.
"So..." Meredith echoed her sister.
"Did you ask Library Guy out?"
"Did you tell Mark that you love him?" The two sisters blurted out at the same time and then stared at each other like they had seen a ghost.
"I – uh – I asked you first. You go first," Lexie said.
"No! Technically, we both asked each other at the same time, and since you're the youngest, you go first," Meredith rejoined.
"No. Don't take advantage of me being the youngest. You go first – you are the eldest," Lexie said.
"No, you."
"You."
"You."
"You."
"Ahhhh! This way, neither of us will ever go first," Meredith exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air in frustration. "Let's toss a coin. Whoever wins goes first," Meredith said, reaching for her purse.
"Fine," Lexie agreed.
Meredith took out a coin and tossed it in the air. The coin flipped in the air before dropping downwards, and Meredith immediately caught it in her hand and covered the coin. "Heads or tails?" she asked Lexie.
"Heads," Lexie replied quickly but immediately added, "No no no, tails. No, heads. No, tails. Wait –"
"Lex," Meredith said in a calm voice, "Pick any one and stick with it. Heads or tails?"
"Fine, tails," Lexie said and Meredith uncovered the coin.
"Yay!" Meredith squealed as the twosome stared down at the coin. "You won. So now, tell me, did you tell Mark?"
Lexie groaned in frustration. "Ugh, why does it always have to be me? I – no...I didn't tell Mark..." Lexie trailed off.
"What? Why? I thought we had a deal!" Meredith said, visibly upset.
"I know, I know," Lexie muttered as she started pacing the room. "And believe me, I prepared myself. I had this whole speech ready about how much I love him and how I think that he's the one, but I couldn't do it. I chickened out at the last minute, and then he started kissing me and then –"
"Stop!" Meredith said, covering her ears with her hands. "I don't need to hear about what happened next. You are my baby sister and I don't need to hear the details of you doing the nasty nasty with your boyfriend."
"Oh, okay."
"Lex, why didn't you tell him? We had a deal, remember? It's high time you revealed your true feelings to Mark and find out whether he reciprocates your feelings! You are such a chicken!" Meredith reprimanded her sister a little too harshly. She didn't want to be hard on Lexie, but she knew about Mark's womanizing ways and didn't want to see her sister being used or getting hurt.
"Hey! You've got no room to call me a chicken, alright? Did you ask Library Guy out, huh?" Lexie bit back, placing her hands on her hips.
"I – um – I – uh – I d..I did," Meredith said, averting her eyes.
"Oh really? What did he say?"
"Uh – um...He said no," Meredith replied in a feeble voice.
"Liar!" Lexie cried out with a triumphant look on her face. "You didn't even ask him! I knew it the minute you averted your eyes."
"Lexie..." Meredith groaned at how well her little sister knew her. "How do you always catch me when I am lying?"
"Because I know that you are too much of a chicken," Lexie said, rolling her eyes.
"You're a chicken," Meredith retorted.
"Chicken."
"That's you."
"Fine, we are both chickens, okay?" Lexie conceded. "We are...We are the Grey chickens."
"We are," Meredith agreed with a nod. "This was obviously a stupid idea. Neither of us has the actual courage to do it. Let's forget about this deal, okay?"
"No!" Lexie cried out. "No no no. I admit that we both are huge chickens, but we'll get to it. We are Greys, we can do it. We can sort out our complicated love lives."
"What love life are you talking about? Because my love life is non-existent, literally."
"Fine," Lexie said, "You'll start your non-existent love life and I'll sort out my complicated love life. Wait a second, you didn't even tell me why you couldn't ask Library Guy out? What happened?"
"Believe me, Lex, I steeled myself too. I was going to do it on Wednesday, I was fully prepared. I had a big speech ready too. But then, I kept waiting and waiting for him to come to the library, and he didn't come! He always comes on Wednesdays and Fridays, but this Wednesday, he didn't come! So, I thought that it was a sign by the universe, telling me that it was not gonna go well. So, when he did come on Friday, I didn't have the courage to go up to him," Meredith rambled on.
"Mer, there are no signs by the universe!" Lexie exclaimed. "You are such a chicken."
"Yeah, right, says the little chicken," Meredith said in a derisive voice.
"I think we have already established the fact that we are both chickens. But it's time to stop chickening out and put our plans into action. This Wednesday. We will both do it this Wednesday. And no chickening out, no matter what," Lexie said with determination ringing in her voice.
"But," Meredith protested in a feeble voice, "What if Library Guy doesn't show up again? Or Mark starts kissing you again? Or both happen?"
"Then, we'll do it on Friday," Lexie said, "But, we will do it. We are the Greys, Mer. We can do anything we want to."
"Yes, yes, you are right. And Dalai Lama once said, 'Great love and great achievements involve great risk or whatever.'"
"Yeah," Lexie said. "Yeah...So, we'll do it this Wednesday without chickening out. Now, go to sleep. Good night," Lexie said and turned around.
"Lex?"
"Yeah?" Lexie immediately rejoined, walking back towards Meredith's bed.
"Do you want to sleep with me tonight and rehearse the speech you prepared for Mark?"
"Yes!" Lexie answered readily, a relieved look coming on her face. "God, you read my mind. We can both rehearse our speeches. You'll be Mark and I'll be Library Guy," Lexie said, climbing into bed beside Meredith already.
"That sounds good," Meredith said and the two sisters started practising their speeches with each other as the moon rose high in the night sky.
Meredith sat behind her desk in the library on Wednesday morning, fidgeting. It was THE day, the day when she was finally going to ask Library Guy out for coffee. Her nerves were jangled and she kept playing the speech she had prepared over and over in her mind. A million worries raced around her head, but she kept remembering Lexie's words about how her and Library Guy's weird bookish relationship would never get to another level if she never worked up the courage to ask him out.
"Forget the risk and take the fall, if it's meant to be, then it's worth it all," Meredith mused to herself, trying to calm herself down. She knew that what she was going to do that day was going to change her and Library Guy's weird friendship forever. She would be putting her heart on the line, and there would be no going back from there. If Library Guy rejected her...Meredith didn't even want to think about what would happen if Library Guy rejected her. Part of her wished that Library Guy wouldn't show up again – that would at least stall the deed for two more days. But another part of her wanted to be over with it already, because the suppressed trepidation and anxiety was killing her.
Meredith glanced at the door once more and then looked down at the book she was reading. For the first time in her entire life of 22 years, the words of the book appeared dull and fanciful to Meredith. Usually, she could just bury herself in the rabbit hole of a book and forget everything else about the real world; she could immerse herself in the storyline, characters, events of a book and allow herself to feel the emotions of the characters. But it was not the case that day. That day, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't bring herself to concentrate on her book. It all appeared meaningless to her.
What would she do if Library Guy said no? What if he told her that he didn't like her that way? Or, what if, Meredith thought with horror, he had a girlfriend? Shit. Meredith hadn't even considered the possibility of him having a girlfriend until then. But the possibility was too high – why would an amazing and good-looking guy like him be single? He had to have a girlfriend; he just had to. Meredith had no idea how to deal with that possibility – she had discussed all possible worst case scenarios with Lexie except that one. She was unprepared. Meredith Grey was screwed. She was so screwed.
Before Meredith had the time to think any further, a soft voice broke her thoughts.
"Hey."
Meredith's eyes widened as she recognized the familiar voice, and she looked up from the pages of her book to find herself drowning in the all too familiar pair of deep blue pools.
"H – Hey," Meredith stammered timorously as she looked at the very person she was dreading to see – Library Guy.
"How are you today?" Library Guy asked with a smile.
"Oh, I'm – I'm fine," Meredith replied with a nervous, wan smile. Wrong answer. She was definitely not fine. Anything but fine.
"Good. So, whatcha reading today?" he asked like every other day, and lifted one end of the open book to look at the title.
"Oh...'The Notebook' by Nicholas Sparks," Meredith said, wringing her hands in her lap.
"Are you ok?" he asked, noticing the stressed look on her face.
That was it. Meredith knew that the time had come. She had to tell him now. In no way could she stall or avoid it. She just...had to do it, even if he already had a gorgeous, amazing girlfriend at home. She just needed to do it and get it out of her system.
"I – uh – ahem..." Meredith cleared her throat awkwardly and then continued, "I need...need to tell you something."
"Okay, go on...Tell me. Wait, is it something bad? Should I sit down for it? Are you breaking up with me?"
Meredith's eyes widened with horror and her mouth fell agape. What was he talking about? She hadn't even asked him out yet and he was already talking about break-ups?
"What?!" Meredith asked, aghast.
He laughed in response. "Relax, I was just kidding," he said, laughing but he stopped when he noticed the look on Meredith's face.
"Oh..." Meredith mumbled, fiddling with her wrist watch. Damn it, why was it so freaking hard? Why couldn't she just say it? Bite the bullet and be done with it?
"So, you wanted to tell me something?" he probed.
"Yeah, yeah...I – um...I wanted to say that," Meredith said and paused a little, shutting her eyes before continuing, "I wanted to say that I really like you and how you love books so much and we definitely have that in common, and I know that we basically know nothing else about each other, but thing is that, I would like to get to know you better, because you...intrigue me. So, what I am basically saying is that, would you like to go out for coffee sometime? With me?" Meredith opened her eyes at the end of her ramble and looked up at his face.
When her eyes finally locked on his blue orbs, however, she found him staring back at her with an unreadable expression on his face. Seconds passed by, each second seeming like hours to Meredith, but Library Guy didn't say a word. He just stared at her, his lips slightly parted, his pupils dilated.
Shit. The expression on his face didn't bode well. Meredith just knew it – she, was officially screwed.
Lexie stood in a wine-red gown, staring as a tall, blonde girl named Julie or Julia or whatever, flirted with Mark shamelessly.
It was Wednesday evening, and Lexie's plans of telling Mark that she was in love with him were not going so well. She had met Mark for coffee in the morning, but before she could tell Mark anything about love, Mark had asked her to be his date to his friend, Owen Hunt's engagement party in the evening. Lexie had been over the moon because Mark had asked her to be his date, and she had happily agreed to go to the party with him. But now, as she stood amidst all the strangers at the party and watched another girl throw herself at Mark, she seethed with jealousy and rancour. She tightened her grip on her flute of champagne as she watched Mark laugh at something that Julie or Julia was saying to him.
Lexie averted her eyes from the duo and trained her eyes on the recently engaged couple. Owen Hunt and Amelia Shepherd. They were locked in a loving embrace in one corner of the room, and Lexie couldn't help but feel slightly envious of them. They looked so...happy, so deliriously happy and in love. Lexie wanted that – she wanted to be enveloped in Mark's arms and be deliriously happy. Her eyes wandered off towards another corner of the room, where Amelia's older brother, Derek Shepherd was sipping at his drink and gazing at his sister and her fiancé with a tiny smile playing on his lips. Mark had introduced her to Owen, Amelia and Derek when they had arrived at the party and the trio had been extremely welcoming and warm to her, despite the fact that she was several years younger than all of them. Amelia had even called Lexie 'Markie's girlfriend,' which had made Lexie like Amelia instantly.
Lexie's eyes strayed back to Mark and the blonde girl, and her insides churned when she saw how close the girl was leaning towards Mark. Mark didn't exactly have a pleased look on his face, but he wasn't pulling back either. Lexie couldn't take it anymore. She downed the rest of her drink in one gulp and made her way towards the empty balcony of the house. Stepping out on the balcony, Lexie leant against the railing and gripped it hard with her hands, tears forming in her eyes. She couldn't take more of Mark's ignorance – it was killing her.
"You know," a voice said from behind Lexie, causing her to gasp softly in surprise, "If I were you, I'd have walked up straight to that slut and marked my territory. Shown her who I am."
Lexie turned around and came face to face with Amelia Shepherd. Amelia gave her a tiny smile and walked over to stand beside Lexie. Lexie blinked back her tears and remained silent, not knowing what to say to a woman who she had known for barely a few minutes.
"Owen, Mark and Derek have been friends since college, so I've known Mark for a while now...I know how he likes to sow his wild oats," Amelia said, looking at Lexie. "Believe me, all three of them were alike when it came to relationships, that is, before Owen started dating me. They are old and mature now, but when it comes to relationships, they have the intelligence and maturity of five year olds. You gotta show them how much they need you, otherwise they'll never understand."
Lexie looked up at Amelia, her eyes filled with surprise. "Owen?" Lexie asked in a shocked voice.
"Doesn't seem like it now, does he?" Amelia asked with a small laugh. "He was exactly like Mark when I met him. A complete playboy. He had been hurt in the past, so he was afraid to trust anyone again."
"But," Lexie said, looking back towards the room, "he looks so happy with you. He is engaged to you! He is – he is committed to you."
"And I didn't have to work any less to get him to this place. At some point, you have to put your foot down. That's the only way you can make 'em realize how much you mean to them. It worked for me and Owen."
"What did you do?" Lexie asked, still finding it hard to believe that Owen had been a womanizer like Mark. He definitely didn't look like one now. If anything, he looked happy to be settled down with Amelia.
"I walked away," Amelia said simply with a shrug. "I walked away from him, and it made him see what he was deliberately refusing to see."
"I don't think I have enough strength to walk away from Mark," Lexie said with a sniff. "I just...I love him so much."
"I did too. But it's the only way, you see," Amelia said, placing a hand on Lexie's shoulder. "Otherwise, he'll continue to deny that he loves you."
"But, how do you know that Mark loves me? He may not," Lexie pointed out, knuckling her eyes.
"I know, Lexie. I've seen the way he looks at you. He is in love with you, he just won't accept it."
Lexie didn't reply to Amelia as she mulled over Amelia's words. Could walking away from Mark really make Mark realize that he loved her?
However, before Lexie could think any further, her eyes alighted on Julie or Julia grabbing Mark's shirt and dragging him out on the balcony. The blonde girl looked rather drunk, and she and Mark probably didn't notice Amelia and Lexie's presence.
Lexie decided to clear her throat in order to make her presence known, but before she could act, however, Julie or Julia or whatever planted her lips on Mark's.
Time seemed to stop as Lexie watched the scene playing out in front of her, frozen with shock. Only a few seconds had passed, but to Lexie, it felt like hours. She finally found her voice and gasped out, "Mark?!"
Mark's head snapped up and his eyes dilated with horror as they locked on Lexie's dark brown ones. "Lexie! Lex, it's not...it's not what it looks like," he said, freeing herself from the blonde girl's grip and taking a step towards Lexie.
"Oh really?" Lexie said, her eyes filled with unshed tears. "Then what is it like, Mark? You know what, never mind. I need to go," Lexie murmured and rushed past Mark inside the room, leaving a shocked Mark in her wake.
It took a moment for Mark to realize what had transpired, and he immediately took after Lexie. He chased Lexie out of the house and to the driveway.
"Lexie! Lexie, please wait! I can explain," he yelled out behind her, but Lexie didn't stop till she had reached his car. She reached his car and spun around, tears streaming down her cheek.
"Explain? Explain what, Mark? Why you kissed that girl?" Lexie asked in a harsh voice.
"I didn't kiss her!" Mark cried out as he reached out to touch Lexie's shoulder, but she backed away. "She kissed me! She took me by surprise. I didn't even like her."
"Well, I was standing there, Mark. She might have kissed you first, but you didn't exactly pull back," Lexie retorted, wiping her cheeks.
"She caught me off guard, Lexie! I didn't pull back from her because I was too surprised to react! It was only a fraction of second," Mark said in a pleading voice.
"It didn't look like a fraction of second to me," Lexie admitted truthfully. "Really, Mark, when we started seeing each other and you told me that you were not looking for something serious, I asked one thing of you. And that was not to cheat on me while we were still seeing each other. And you did just that, Mark! How could you?"
"I did NOT cheat on you, Lexie!" Mark cried out. "I swear, I didn't kiss that girl back! I'm not interested in that girl, or anyone except you, for that matter."
Lexie shook her head as she wiped her tears away. "I – I don't know how to believe you, Mark. Because you were definitely flirting with her beforehand...I...I need to go home," Lexie murmured and turned around to hail a cab.
"Lexie, please believe me. I didn't kiss that girl. She kissed me; there was nothing on my part! What are you doing? I'll drop you home," Mark said as he watched Lexie hail a cab.
"There's no need for you to do that," Lexie said in a cold whisper. "Please, Mark, just leave me alone!" She opened the door of the cab and got inside, and before Mark had a chance to say anything else, the driver whisked the taxicab away, leaving Mark standing on the road with a horrified look on his face.
A/N: I know, I know. I'm mean; I gave you two cliffhangers – one for MerDer and one for Slexie. But, before you decide to kill me, I'd like to let you know that I am a believer in happy endings, so have a little faith in me and our boys!
Since it's been a while since my last update, I have to ask, are you guys still out there? Are you still interested in this story and want to read more? Do you still want me to continue?
Please review and let me know what you think and when to update!
A reply to the reviews –
Patsy – Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! No worries about the Finn rant; as a reader, I'd be pissed off too. But, now you have another cliff to worry about – will Library Guy say yes to Meredith? Sound off about what you think, and thank you so much for your kind words about this story! :)
Guest – Thanks for the review! Still ruined? Or did I make it up to you? Leave me an answer :) I'm glad you thought that the story was great so far!
RhizOneill – Thank you for the review! I realize that no one wants Finn here, but I just put him there because I'm mean: P Anyway, I fixed the Finn problem, but what about this new problem we have? What will be Derek's answer? Review and let me know! Thanks!
MathiMth – Thank you for your constant support! It truly means a lot to me! Glad you loved the last chapter! Let me know what you think about this one :)
xtiannax – Thanks a bunch for reading and reviewing! Glad you think so! Got rid of Finn, but left you with two more cliffhangers. Let me know what you think!
XxthecornykittyxX – Thank you! Your review made my day! I'm so happy to hear that this is one of your favourite stories! And looks like your wish just got granted – Omelia and Slexie! Though, I'll admit it, the Slexie cliffhanger was mean :P Let me know what you think!
Guest – Thank you for your sweet words! I admit that the story is kind of a slow burn at this point, but things are gonna heat up soon, I promise! Hope you liked this chapter!
Margaret – Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Hope I didn't disappoint you with how I took care of the Finn situation, and the new cliffs. Agreed though! Library Guy and Library Girl are definitely meant to be; they just have to figure it out! Thank you!
Guest – Thank you for the review! Got rid of Finn, so happy? Glad you like my story! Thanks!
CileSuns92 – Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Guess you got the answer to your question ;) Thanks for your lovely words – they made my day! It will take a while, as you guessed, for all the pieces in the puzzle to fit together, but things are gonna heat up soon. I'm so glad to hear that you're so much in love with this Meredith and Derek, and hope you liked this chapter as well! Thank you!
Lollikass – Thanks a bunch for reading and reviewing! Your lovely review brightened up my day! I'm so glad that you think so about my story, and even better that you got an idea from this! Always happy to help, I'll be sure to check out your new story! Thank you for the kind words!
chicagonp2012 – Thank you for the awesome reviews! Extremely gratified that you're enjoying this story so far! Took care of Finn; hope it didn't disappoint you. Let me know what you think of this chapter!
bhavyam1998 – Thanks a lot for the review! Mer did say it to Lexie this time, didn't she? Hope you liked this chapter! :)
Obstinate headstrong girl – Thank you so much for the wonderful review! It made my day! Got rid of Finn, and gave you two mean cliffhangers. Let me know what you think! :)
Guest – Thanks a lot for the lovely review! I'll keep writing as long as people are reading and reviewing. What did you think of the cliffs, eh? :) Diary excerpts are gonna show up frequently here on. Thank you!
snv3 – Thank you for the review! Derek didn't exactly get a chance to react to Meredith's date, but hope I didn't disappoint you with how things turned out! Thanks!
MerDer2015 – Thanks so much for the sweet words! Agreed! I couldn't picture Meredith with Finn either, hence the turn of events in this chapter. Hope you liked this chapter! Thank you!
Ginger – Thank you for the review! And never ever worry about a simple 'love the story' not being enough. I love getting feedback from my readers – any kind of feedback! And to know that my readers are loving my story makes me so happy that I can't express it in words. So, just leave me your thoughts, no need to worry about the length. Thank you!
MsHGolightly – Thank you so much for the beautiful words! I'm extremely happy to hear that you're loving this story! I can't stand Finn either, hence I got rid of him. Hope you liked this chapter as well and let me know what you think!
ButterflyWhisperer – Thanks a bunch for reading and reviewing! Glad to know that you think so! Hope you liked this chapter!
Alexis – Thank you so much for the lovely words! They made my day! So happy to know that you love Library Guy and Library Girl. I did want to write about a MerDer like no other. Thank you! Hope you liked this chapter!
BoxingTheStars812 – Thank you for reading and reviewing! Looks like you pegged it right on the nose – it was a disaster! Hope you liked this chapter! Thanks! :)
ZammieandPercabeth4ever – Thanks a lot for the review! Glad to know that you like it. I admit that things are kind of a slow burn right now, but things are gonna move fast soon. Thanks for the advice; I'll really try my best to add more spice to this story. Thank you! Your advice gave me some new ideas to develop the plotlines! :)
Kachelle486 – Thank you so much for the review! So glad you love it! Hope you liked this chapter! :)