A/N: Thank you for all the lovely reviews on last chapter! Holidays are here, so I thought I'd give you something to make you happy :)
This chapter picks up right where the last one left off...Or maybe not...You'll see...
P.S. I'm re-posting this chapter because the chapter contained some errors that needed to be fixed...
Meredith snuggled under her blankets in her bed at night, the stranger's diary clasped tightly in her hands. Lexie had called her a few hours earlier to tell her that she was going out with Mark and so she would probably come home late. Lexie had sounded pretty hopped-up on the phone, and Meredith was happy for her little sister. She sincerely wished that Lexie would be able to confess her feelings to Mark. But, Lexie staying out late meant that Meredith was all alone for the night. Or maybe not completely alone. Diary Guy's diary was there to keep her company in the cold, lonely night. That, and Meredith's own thoughts. Thoughts about what had happened earlier that day when she had finally worked up the courage to ask her Library Guy out. Meredith shook her head as her mind involuntarily travelled back to the events of that morning.
Flashback:-
"...So, what I am basically saying is that, would you like to go out for coffee sometime? With me?" Meredith opened her eyes at the end of her ramble and looked up at his face.
When her eyes finally locked on his blue orbs, however, she found him staring back at her with an unreadable expression on his face. Seconds passed by, each second seeming like hours to Meredith, but Library Guy didn't say a word. He just stared at her, his lips slightly parted, his pupils dilated.
Shit. The expression on his face didn't bode well. Meredith just knew it – she, was officially screwed.
Seconds flew by as Meredith and Library Guy kept staring at each other, their gazes transfixed. Neither Library Guy said anything nor did Meredith. She didn't want to be the first one to break the never-ending silence that had descended over them, and the reason was quite simple. Meredith had asked the dreaded question and it was Library Guy's turn to respond. Besides, Meredith didn't have a clue as to what to say next to break the almost awkward silence that was prevailing over her and Library Guy.
Why was he not saying anything? Was that because his answer was no, but he didn't want to break her heart or something like that? Or, did he have a girlfriend? He definitely had a girlfriend, Meredith thought to herself. He definitely had a girlfriend because a guy like him could not be single. It was impossible. What had Meredith been thinking? How could a girl like her have a chance with a perfect guy like him? He was like a dream come true for her, but she was just...Meredith. Ordinary, mundane Meredith. Nothing special or extraordinary.
But still, why wasn't he saying something? If his answer was no, then he could just say it and be over with it. She was a big girl, she would be able to handle it. Yes, her tiny, fragile heart would be crushed, but she would definitely handle it. He should have at least said something by now. The everlasting silence on his part was killing Meredith.
"Uh – ahem. Excuse me," a voice broke the smothering silence, but to Meredith's dismay, it was not Library Guy who had spoken. It was a reader who had come to her desk with a book in his hand.
"Y –Yes?" Meredith stuttered amidst her agonizing worry.
"I want to borrow this book for a few days," the reader said, holding out the book to Meredith. Meredith read the title of the book, all the while wringing her hands in her lap. "The Unexpected Guest" by Agatha Christie, the title read. Meredith looked up at the reader once and then glanced at Library Guy. Library Guy had yet to utter a word.
"Uh...um...okay. Tell me your name and address and phone number and stuff," Meredith rambled, taking out her register. Her hands were shaking and sweating badly, but she somehow managed to move the pen across the paper, filling in the necessary details at a much slower pace.
"You need to sign here, and put today's date," Meredith murmured, glancing at Library Guy once more. He was still standing with a bemused look on his face, like she had just dropped a bombshell on him. The reader filled in the necessary details and paid the caution money before walking away, leaving only Meredith and Library Guy at the desk.
Meredith stared at Library Guy's face for a long moment, drowning in his fathomless blue eyes. But, they couldn't stay silent forever. Someone had to break the ice, and Meredith decided that if Library Guy wasn't going to say anything, then she was going to take back her question.
Taking a deep breath, Meredith bit the inside of her cheek to prevent the tears from filling her eyes. "Forget what I just said," she said, finally scotching the never-ending silence that had descended over them.
"What?" Library Guy finally managed to whisper in a feeble voice.
"Forget. What I just said, forget that. I know you don't feel about me that way, and you probably have a girlfriend, and... it's okay, really. I get it totally. It's perfectly fine. I just...I was being stupid. You have a girlfriend, don't you? I mean, why wouldn't you? It's pretty normal for you to have a girlfriend. And even if you didn't have a girlfriend, you...you barely know me. I get it, it's alright. I am okay. Just...erase this awkward conversation between us from your memory. Because, I liked how we were friends...or sort-of-friends, and I wouldn't want things to turn awkward between us because of this stupid, moronic thing that I –"
"I would love to go out for coffee with you," Library Guy interjected in a soft voice.
"...that I said. It's so stupid and I am just so...I mean, I should have guessed that you'd have a girlfriend and...It's okay for you to say no...I understand. Don't feel guilty or –"Meredith continued to ramble but stopped midway, her face freezing with shock. She had been staring straight ahead all the while during her ramble, but now her green eyes snapped to Library Guy's cerulean ones. "Wh – What?" Meredith stammered, her mouth falling open.
"I said that I'd love to go out for coffee with you," Library Guy said in a firmer voice this time, a small smile playing at the corner of his lips.
"You...You would?" Meredith asked, unable to believe her own ears. "But...What about your girlfriend?"
Library Guy furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What girlfriend? I don't have a girlfriend," he said, his lips quirking up quizzically.
"But, I thought you had a..." Meredith bit her tongue as she realized that she had been thinking aloud the whole time. Library Guy had never said that he had a girlfriend. She had just assumed from his lack of response that he had a girlfriend. She blushed furiously as she realized how she had been rambling and fretting for no reason at all, and she looked down at her feet in mortification. What must he be thinking? He was probably thinking that she was a rambling lunatic – a moron.
"Hey," Library Guy said softly, "How about...we go and grab that coffee now?"
Meredith immediately looked up at him, surprise written all over her face. "Now? As in now now?" she asked, profoundly astonished. She had never imagined him saying something like this.
"Yes, now now," Library Guy said with a tender smile. "I didn't know there were different nows."
Meredith blushed once more as she realized her idiocy and moronic behaviour. What was wrong with her? No, seriously, there had to be something wrong with her. "But...But, I am working now," Meredith murmured, chiding herself mentally for saying that. There was definitely something wrong with her. The perfect guy of her dreams was offering to take her out for coffee and she was indirectly saying no? That too, when she had been the one to ask first?
"I'm sure that Mrs. Smith will allow you to take a small break. We can go to the café across the street and grab some breakfast. It will only take about an hour or so," Library Guy said cajolingly.
"Oh, well...I could ask Mrs. Smith, I guess..." Meredith said, uncertainty and suppressed excitement lacing her voice.
"Good. You go do that. I will be right here, waiting for you," Library Guy said with a smile that warmed Meredith's heart inside out.
Ten minutes later, Meredith and Library Guy were seated snugly in a booth inside the café across the street. Meredith still couldn't believe that she was sitting in a café with her Library Guy, out on a real first date. It was technically her very first date in her entire life, and the irony was that Meredith didn't feel timorous at all. If anything, she was at complete ease with Library Guy, whose name she had yet to know.
"So..." Meredith murmured, "Um...Uh – I know that it's kinda weird that I am asking this now...but, um, what's your name?" Meredith bit her lower lip and looked at Library Guy through her long eyelashes.
"Oh..." Library Guy said, his cheeks colouring slightly. "Derek. Derek Shepherd," he said, outstretching his hand.
"Derek," Meredith said, liking the way his name rolled off of her tongue. Library Guy had a name now. Derek. "Right. Meredith. Meredith Grey," she said, taking the hand he had offered. As soon as their skins touched, Meredith felt a jolt of electricity run through her body. She shivered slightly as she shook his warm hand and wondered whether he had felt that jolt too.
"Meredith," Derek said with a smile. "So, wanna order first?" he asked, taking back his hand.
"Yeah, okay."
"What do you want? Oh, they have the best scones here, so you have to try it out," Derek said, signalling to the waitress.
Meredith nodded her head. "Okay. I'll have the scones and chocolate muffins. And a mocha latte," she said as the waitress approached them.
"Whoa! Don't you think that's a lot of sugar for this time of the day?" Derek asked, quirking an eyebrow playfully.
Meredith shrugged. "I don't care. I like sugar and chocolate. And if you think that that's a lot of sugar, then you should see me on Thursday mornings. I have a chocolate doughnut with sprinkles every Thursday," she said and watched Derek grimace.
"Ohhhh...kay," he replied, turning to the waitress. "A mocha latte, an espresso, a chocolate muffin, a plain bran muffin and scones," he said to the waitress and the waitress walked away with a polite nod.
"Oh, so you are quite the health nut, I see..." Meredith remarked, taking a napkin from the table and fiddling with it.
"Guilty as charged," Derek said in a grave tone, causing Meredith to giggle. He chuckled along with her.
"So, Meredith," Derek said, "Tell me more about yourself. What do you do? Besides working at the library, I mean."
Meredith looked down at the napkin as she said, "Well, I have a Bachelor's degree in English literature. I work at the library now, as you can see. And I aspire to be a writer." The last words came out as the ghost of a whisper from Meredith's lips. Everyone except her dad and her sister made fun of her aspiration of being a writer. She was pretty sure that Library Guy – Derek, would think the same too.
"Wow! What a coincidence, Meredith! I want to be a writer too," Derek said, much to Meredith's astonishment.
"You do?" Meredith asked, patently taken aback.
"Yes," Derek said, "I have a degree in creative writing and I want to become a published author someday."
"That...That's..." Not what I expected, Meredith thought to herself. "We have more in common than we guessed, don't we?" Meredith asked.
"Sure we do. We both love books, we both want to be writers. The only huge difference between us is that you are a junk food junkie and I am a health nut," Derek said with a small, blithe laugh.
Meredith laughed with him too. She laughed freely, naturally. Not the way she laughed around other guys. No, that was her fake, high-pitched, forced laugh. Around Library Guy, everything was normal and easy and halcyon.
"Yeah, that is a huge difference..." Meredith said as the waitress arrived with their orders. "So, are you working now?"
"Yeah. I am working at the Providence Hospice," Derek replied, taking a sip of his coffee.
"You work at a hospice? That's nice...Really nice," Meredith said, her admiration and respect for him augmenting some more.
"Yeah..." Derek said, not delving into the reasons behind his choice of profession.
After that, the duo engaged in a light-hearted, lengthy conversation about books and writing and every other topic that came to their mind. They were so engrossed in their conversation that they didn't even realize when two hours flew by.
Finally, Meredith glanced at her wrist watch and her eyes widened as she realized how much time she had spent with Library Guy.
"Oh God...It's been over two hours since we came here," Meredith muttered urgently, discarding her napkin and grabbing her bag. "I should go now or else Mrs. Smith will kill me. I was supposed to be taking a break of an hour."
"Oh, I am sure it's fine. Mrs. Smith is quite lenient. She'll let you off the hook," Derek said with a wink as he stood up too. "So..."
"So..." Meredith said, locking eyes with him. "Are you gonna come back to the library?"
Derek opened his mouth once, but then closed it. After a minute, he said, "Um...I think I better go today. I have to work from 1 o'clock, and I feel drowsy after such a heavy breakfast. I think I'll just go home and take a nap."
"Oh," Meredith said, not knowing what to say next. She was running late, but she didn't want to leave either. Should she ask him for his number? No, that would come across as too desperate. She had already made the first move by asking him out for coffee first, she didn't need to make the second move too. She should wait and see if he asked for her number. That would mean that he was genuinely interested in her and hadn't gone on a coffee date with her just to humour her, right? Right?
"Meredith," he said, breaking the silence, "Can I have your number?"
Meredith let out a sigh of relief as she smiled and nodded. Grabbing a clean napkin from the table, she took out a pen and scribbled her number on it before handing it to him.
"Okay, Derek. Now I am really running very late. I – I had a great time with you," she said, wondering what she should do next. She had no experience in the area. None whatsoever. Should she kiss him? No, no...That would be too forward for a first date. A handshake? No, that would be way too formal. Then what? Meredith's mind was blank as she stood there, staring awkwardly into space.
Before Meredith could scotch her internal struggle and decide on something, Library Guy leant toward her and pressed his soft, deliciously warm lips to her cheek. Meredith tensed up a little at the sudden gesture, but just as she began to lean into his touch, he pulled back.
"I had a great time with you too," Derek said with a smile as he pulled back. "A really good time."
Meredith's lips stretched into a smile of relief and happiness. She nodded once more and then, standing on her tiptoes, she pecked him quickly on his cheek. And before he could react, Meredith mumbled, "Bye, Derek. Have a nice day," and walked away from him.
Meredith crossed the street with a smile on her face and entered the library. As she took her usual spot behind the desk, she suddenly realized that she had only given her own number to Derek. She had never asked for his. As the realization hit Meredith, she facepalmed and groaned in frustration. She was a damn imbecile. Why was she so stupid and moronic? What if Library Guy never called her?
Meredith pressed her forehead to the little black notebook and let out a frustrated sigh. She bemoaned about not asking Derek for his number. But, what could she do? She had a pea-sized brain when it came to dating and relationships, and she had been so hopped-up about her very first date – her very first date that she had truly enjoyed – that she had forgotten to ask Library Guy for his number in all her excitement.
And now, Meredith was pretty sure that Derek was never going to call her again. He probably got the numbers of hundreds of girls every day. Why would he call her, the dim-witted, neurotic one, of all the girls? He was definitely never going to call her. He had just agreed to a breakfast date with her so that she did not have to feel the humiliation of rejection. But, then again, he had kissed her on the cheek first, right? Did that mean that he was into her? Or was that something that suave, charming guys like him did all the time?
Meredith had no clue. She had zero experience when it came to relationships. That was why she needed to see her sister so badly at the moment. Lexie, though younger than her, knew ten times more about dating and romance. She would be able to advise Meredith on what her next step should be. But, Lexie was not going to come home till late at night, and Meredith had to wait until Lexie's return.
Letting out a huff, Meredith opened the stranger's diary and flipped through the pages. She didn't know why, but reading the diary had become a dear habit to her. Whenever she was sad or happy or confused, she read a diary entry and in some way or the other, it helped her lighten up again. The diary entries of the stranger made her smile at times, cry at others. She could read the diary at the end of a supremely awful day and have a good laugh. Or she could end up crying after reading a poignant diary entry that touched her heart. Whatever it might be, she had just become addicted to reading this perfect stranger's diary.
Opening a middle page, Meredith folded her knees and began to read.
28th July, 1998
6:00 p.m.
Tonight, my heart is burdened with a tremendous amount of guilt. Today, I broke up with my girlfriend of two months, Jessica. I liked Jessica, I did. It was not like I got bored with her or anything. She is a really nice girl. She is good-looking, smart, and funny. A little nagging at times, but that's alright. That's not why I broke up with her. I broke up with her because she was beginning to want a deeper level of commitment in our relationship – something that I cannot give her, or any other girl, for that matter. The reason is pretty simple, I think. I have Ames to think about. My dad doesn't give a shit about what happens to me and Ames, but I can't do the same to my baby sister. Her responsibility is on my shoulders, and it is not a burden. I will gladly fend for myself and Ames for the rest of my life. But, here's the rub. Ames told me last night that she was feeling neglected ever since I started dating Jessica. That is why I broke up with Jess. Because, my number one girl was and always will be my baby sis. No one is more important to me than her. She is all I have; she is my reason to live. And if she feels neglected because I have a girlfriend, then I better not have a girlfriend at all. When it comes to a choice between Ames and some girl, there is no choice. Ames is everything to me – my world, my support system, my everything. I can't neglect her for anything or anyone else in this world.
But, at the same time, I feel guilty for breaking Jessica's heart. She was crying when I broke up with her, and the realization that someone was crying because of me made my heart heavy with guilt. Mom always used to say that we should try to avoid making someone cry. I put Mom down today, because I made Jess cry. But, I had no other choice. I put Ames down because I failed to be a good brother to her, and I put Jessica down because I broke up with her. I feel like a failure – a worthless piece of shit. Mom would be so disappointed if she could see me today. I have a lot of apologies to make. I have to apologize to Ames, I have to apologize to Jess once again, and I have to apologize to Mom and my own self. Because when Jessica was crying and telling me that she loved me, my heart was breaking for her. She was my first girlfriend ever, and while I never fell in love with her, I did care for her. Crushing her heart makes me sadder than I imagined. I didn't want to hurt her like that, I didn't. But, I can't let Ames feel neglected because of my girlfriend. I can't divert my attention – not until Ames is old enough to take care of herself. Not even then, because I am her big brother and I will always watch over her. I cannot allow myself to have any distractions, none whatsoever. And no matter what I say, Jessica was a distraction. So, I have decided. No more serious relationships for me. I will never allow myself to fall in love with anyone; I will never let anyone distract me again. I know that makes me sound like a coward, but it's the only way. No commitments, no strings attached. My family, my precious little princess is and always will be my top priority.
I have to go and make dinner now. Ames must be famished. Until next time.
Meredith finished reading the diary entry and snapped it shut. Poor Diary Guy, she thought. Her heart went out to him. He must have been in such a dilemma at that time. She felt angry now. Angry with Diary Guy's dad for shaping up Diary Guy's life that way. Why did his dad ruin his life? Deliberately or not, his dad was the reason Diary Guy decided not to let himself fall in love. But, at the same time, Meredith couldn't help but feel a little more connected to Diary Guy. She didn't know why, but her heart fluttered a little as she pondered on what a great guy Diary Guy was, whoever he was. She knew that she should not be having thoughts like that about a perfect stranger. For all she knew, Diary Guy could be a sixty year old man with a wife and family. Or maybe not. Because, if he had had his first girlfriend in 1997, then he had to be 16 or 17 back then. Which meant he was in his twenties now.
Meredith shook her head to get rid of her farcical thoughts. How would she know when Diary Guy had had his first girlfriend? He might have had his first girlfriend when he had been 30 years old. It was not unusual. Look at her. She went out on her first real date at 22. Anything was possible. She couldn't let herself flow with her tempestuous heart. She shouldn't even be thinking about Diary Guy's current age. She had just gone out on her first date with her first crush – Library Guy, or Derek. She shouldn't be thinking about the ages of strangers whom she hadn't even met and whose diary she just happened to have.
Meredith's internal conflict was scotched when she heard a muffled sob from the next room. Lexie's room. Had Lexie returned home? But, so soon? What about her date with Mark? And why in the blue hell would she be crying? Meredith shoved the diary inside her bag and climbed out of bed immediately. She had to find out what was going on.
"Lexie, wait! Just hear me out once," Mark yelled as he followed Lexie to the porch of her house. After Lexie had left the party in haste, Mark had only taken a few minutes to recover from his initial shock before jumping in his car to follow her to her home.
"Mark, I already told you – I don't wanna hear any lame excuse of yours," Lexie said in a firm voice, wiping the remnants of tears from her cheeks. She had shed a lot of tears on her way back home; she was determined not to cry over Mark anymore.
"But, Lexie, trust me. I didn't kiss that girl, I really didn't. Don't you trust in me?" Mark asked as Lexie opened the front door of her house and walked inside.
"No!" Lexie said in a hushed voice, knowing that her parents were still up. "I don't trust in you, not anymore. Now, please leave. Dad's home, and if he finds out what you did, he'll kill you," she said and slammed the door on Mark's face, effectively blocking out whatever he was trying to say.
Mark stood on the porch, pondering whether he should pound his fists on the door. He wanted to talk to Lexie; he wanted to tell her that he really hadn't been interested in that girl. He had been careless, and that was why the girl had worked up the courage to kiss him in the first place. Yes, the girl had been flirting with him, but he had been continually warding off her advances. But, the girl had been beyond tipsy and she just couldn't take no for an answer. Mark hadn't even been paying any attention to the girl's drunken babble when she had planted her lips on his. And before he could react and pull back, Lexie had already seen them and the damage had been done.
Sighing loudly, Mark decided that it would be best to depart from the place at the moment. Lexie was beyond livid right now, and she wasn't going to listen to any explanation of his, no matter how hard he tried. It would be best to let her cool off a bit before talking to her again.
With that thought in mind, Mark looked one last time at the closed door and then walked away towards his car. When he had asked Lexie to be his date for the party, he had had a lot of things on his mind. He had thought about dancing and champagne, and he had even thought of going home with Lexie and making glorious love to her. But never in his wildest dreams had he envisioned that his night would turn out this way.
Lexie ran up the stairs to her bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her. Plopping down on the bed, she broke out into loud sobs as she recalled the events of the night. She had gone to the party with Mark with such high hopes – hopes of finally confessing to him that she loved him, hopes of him saying that he reciprocated her feelings. But, all her hopes had been shattered in one single moment – the moment that slut's lips had touched Mark's. She couldn't get the image of that slut kissing Mark out of her head, she just couldn't, no matter how hard she tried. She was not deaf or heartless; she had heard the plea in Mark's voice when he had repeated over and over again that he had not kissed that other girl. But, every time she heard Mark's explanation and her heart melted a little, the image of Mark and that slut with their lips locked popped up in her head, and her anger towards Mark augmented.
Lexie was sobbing hysterically, covering her mouth with her hands to muffle her sobs when she heard a feeble bang on her door.
"Lex? You in there? It's me, Mer," the voice came from the other side of the bedroom door.
"Mer," Lexie whispered in relief as she got up to unlock the door. Meredith was the only person who could understand her right now; Lexie needed her elder sister desperately at the moment.
"Mer," Lexie murmured as she opened the door and Meredith's face appeared in front of her.
"Lex? Wha – What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Meredith said, immediately noticing Lexie's tear-stained cheeks. Concern marred Meredith's facial features as she took in her sister's appearance.
"I – he – Mark," Lexie gasped and then broke out into a sob once more, unable to formulate a coherent sentence.
"Oh, Lex," Meredith said as she instantly put her arms around her baby sister and hugged her tightly. Lexie rested her cheek on Meredith's shoulder, crying as Meredith rubbed her back soothingly.
"Come on, let's go inside your room and we'll talk about what happened," Meredith said and the two sisters walked inside Lexie's bedroom. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Lexie pillowed her head on Meredith's shoulder as Meredith asked, "Lex, please stop crying and tell me what happened. What did that asshole Mark do to make my baby sis cry like this?"
Lexie sniffled as she raised her head from her sister's shoulder and knuckled her eyes. "He – Mer...He kissed...kissed someone else," Lexie said amidst sobs.
"He what?" Meredith asked, taken aback. She had met Mark twice, and while she had never particularly liked the guy, he hadn't seemed like the cheating type either. Yes, Meredith had understood the minute she had seen him that he was roguish and a womanizer, but still...He had looked like a decent guy. Meredith had never pegged that he'd turn out like this – that he would hurt her baby sister in such a cruel way.
"Can't believe it, right?" Lexie asked rhetorically. "I still can't either. If I hadn't seen it all with my own eyes, I would have probably disbelieved it all..."
"Lex, I will kill that asshole! How dare he? Who gave him the right to play with your heart like this?"
Lexie wept even more as she mumbled, "He still won't admit what he did...I mean, I was right there, I saw it, but he keeps saying that he didn't kiss her..."
"Lex, what do you mean? Tell me what happened from the beginning," Meredith said, rubbing slow circles on her sister's back.
Lexie told Meredith everything – literally everything. She told Meredith how Mark had asked her to be his date to the party, she told her how that Julie or Julia or whatever had been flirting with Mark shamelessly, then she described how Amelia had talked to her and finally, Lexie told Meredith about how that girl had kissed Mark. Lexie even told Meredith how she had fled from the party and how Mark had been constantly saying that he hadn't kissed the other girl. After narrating everything, Lexie took a deep breath and turned her dark brown eyes towards Meredith.
"What do you think, Mer?" Lexie asked, waiting for her sister's answer.
"Hmm..." Meredith hummed, a frown marring her features. "Lex, what he did is clearly unacceptable. As you said, he was flirting with that girl and he shouldn't have done that. I know you are hurting right now, but I also think that...I don't know...How long did Mark kiss that other girl?"
"I dunno," Lexie said, wiping her cheeks. "It all happened in slow motion for me. Time seemed to have frozen. It may have been a few seconds, or maybe a few minutes...I don't know, I don't remember. All I remember is seeing that girl's lips on Mark's and then, everything is a blur..."
"He is an asshole," Meredith said, wrapping her arm around Lexie's shoulders. "He is an asshole for making my sister cry...But Lex?"
"Yeah?"
"I also think that you should give him a chance to say his side of the story," Meredith said in a soft voice.
"Mer...?!" Lexie said with a gasp. "I – I can't believe you are siding with him!"
"Lex, you are misconstruing me," Meredith said, "I am not siding with Mark. You are my sister; I will always be on your side. I am not defending Mark. I am just saying that...If he was so persistent while saying that he didn't kiss that other girl, then maybe...You don't have to believe him until you want to or feel like it. Just...give him a chance to explain. Hear him out with a cool mind. You don't have to do it tonight, not even tomorrow. When you feel like it. Everyone deserves a chance to explain themselves, right?"
Lexie sniffled and shrugged noncommittally. Meredith knew that Lexie was too hurt and angry at the moment to even think about giving Mark the chance to explain himself. And so, Meredith didn't push her. Lexie was a sensible girl – she knew how to take her own decisions. Meredith had advised her, now it was up to Lexie to make the ultimate decision. But not now. Now, Lexie just needed a patient ear – she needed to talk and be heard.
"Hey," Meredith said, placing her index finger under Lexie's chin, "You know what? No more crying. I'll sleep with you today, and you can rant about Mark to your heart's content. Don't shed any more tears – just take out all your pent-up anger and frustration over him. Call him names, rant about him...I am here to listen, okay? You don't have to think about giving Mark a second chance right now. Forget about that."
Lexie looked up at Meredith and for the first time in the last hour and a half, a ghost of a smile appeared on Lexie's face. "This is why I love you, you know?" Lexie said, hugging Meredith tightly.
Meredith hugged her sister back and then climbed into the bed. "Go and change into your pyjamas and then we'll have a Mark rant session. That jackass! Do you need me to come and help you change your dress?" Meredith asked in a concerned voice as she watched Lexie stand up and stagger a little.
"No, no. I'm fine. Just a little tipsy. Had some champagne at the party, that's all. I am fine," Lexie said, waving her hand and moving towards her closet.
"Famous last words from every Grey woman," Meredith said, attempting to inject some humour into the situation.
Lexie threw her a wan smile and walked inside her closet. Meredith released a breath and rubbed her palm over her face. Who had known that the night would turn out like this? Meredith had thought that Lexie would finally confess her feelings to Mark and maybe, maybe Mark would reciprocate her feelings. Then, when Lexie would come home, she and Lexie could swap stories about what had happened and be happy with how things had turned out. Instead, that jerk Mark had broken Lexie's heart into a thousand smithereens and Meredith wasn't even sure that Library Guy would ever ring her up.
Things never happen the way they are supposed to happen. Never. Meredith sighed and waited for her sister to come out of the closet. She couldn't tell Lexie about her date with Library Guy now. It would be like rubbing salt on Lexie's wounds. No – for the first time in her life, Meredith was going to have to keep the truth from her sister.
The door of the closet opened and Lexie came out in her pyjamas. She climbed into bed beside Meredith and the two sisters snuggled under the blankets as Lexie started her rant about Mark.
The next morning, Lexie woke up to the sound of the alarm. She hadn't been able to sleep well at night and she had tossed and turned around a lot. She reached out to shut the alarm as she heard Meredith groan beside her. Meredith had never been a morning person, but Lexie had always nurtured the habit of waking up early.
Reaching for her phone that was lying on the bedside table, Lexie opened her message inbox. She noticed that she had 15 messages, all from Mark. Remembering what Meredith had said to her the night before, Lexie started typing a message.
I want to talk to you. Can you come and meet me at the Orange Café around 9 o'clock?
Lexie hit the send button and waited for Mark's reply. Two minutes later, her phone beeped. Lexie opened the text from Mark and read –
Yes, of course. I'm so sorry for last night, Lex. I'll explain everything to you when we meet.
Lexie sighed and kept her phone aside. She didn't know if she could trust Mark again. But, like Meredith had said, everyone deserved a chance to share their side of the story. This was Mark's second chance. If he could utilize it, then well and good. If not, Lexie didn't know what she would do next.
A/N: I know, not my best work till date, but I tweaked this chapter a hundred times and still couldn't be satisfied with it, so I just bit the bullet and posted it. Anyways, Meredith and Derek know each other's names now! And they went out on their very first date! But, why did Derek take so long to reply to Meredith's question? Was he hiding something? And will he call Meredith again? You'll have to wait for the next chapter to find out.
Reviews are like Christmas presents to me and since Christmas is almost here, so... :) Happy New Year, people!
Leave your cheers, jeers, rants, raves and reviews!
A reply to the reviews –
bhavyam1998 – Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! Why Derek didn't react so soon is still a mystery, but I bet you can understand how important Lexie is to Mark. Gave you guys only a small cliff this time, but I hope you liked Meredith's very first real date! Thank you!
Seayah – Thank you and welcome on board! I'm glad you think so about my story, and I'm really very happy to have you on board for this ride! Thanks!
Hasi2012 – Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing! I'm extremely gratified to hear that you think so about my story! Agreed! The only other couple I cared about besides MerDer was Slexie, and Omelia, so included them in this story too. Hope you liked this chapter!
snv3 – Thank you so much! Your review made my day! I'm usually into reading MerDer too, but I thought that a dash of Slexie would spice up the story. Hope you liked this chapter! :)
ButterflyWhisperer – Thank you for the review! And I hope that some of the confusion about Mark has cleared after this chapter. He really didn't kiss that girl back. As far as MerDer goes, their first baby step! Glad to know that you loved the last update! Hope this one was up to the mark too!
Alexandra Caroline Sloan – Thanks a bunch! I'm so happy to hear that! Hope you liked this chapter!
Kachelle486 – Thanks so much for the sweet words! They brightened up my day! I know, as a reader, cliffhangers kill me too. But, I got you off the cliff in this chapter, didn't I? Thank you!
RhizOneill – Thank you! Cliffhangers will be a part of this story, but I will get you off those cliffs soon, I promise! Let me know what you thought about this one!
xtiannax – Thanks for reading and reviewing! Got you off the cliff. Well, sort of. Hope you liked this update! :)
Patsy – Thank you for reading and reviewing! Glad to know that you love this story. Did you like the date MerDer had? Let me know :) And, thanks for the advice. I understand how frustrating it must be to be held hostage for reviews, and I don't like doing it either. But sadly, that's the only way to get reviews, I think. This is not the first time I am writing Grey's fanfiction – I used to write it before from an account that I have deleted now. I didn't hold readers hostage for reviews then. And the result was that I didn't have that many reviews on my fics. I am sorry you feel that way, Patsy, but reviews are very important to me as they help me grow as a writer. I understand what you are trying to say, but I hope that you try to understand my side of the story too. Let me know what you think about this chapter, as reviews really mean a lot to me! :)
Alexis – Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing! I'm very happy that you thought so about the last update! I hope I gave you enough MerDer in this chapter. As for your concerns about Derek being a playboy, I think you understand after reading his diary entry in this chapter why he became a playboy. He is still a great guy, and he feels guilty as hell for breaking the hearts of so many girls, but he always had to put Amy first because he was the only family she had. So, he sacrificed his love life in order to protect and watch over his sister. That makes him an even greater guy, don't you think? Let me know what you think about this chapter! :)
Guest – Thank you! I'm glad you love this! Hope there was enough MerDer for you in this chapter! More is on the way!
two harts – Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I know how you feel about Susan, because I turned her into an evil stepmother. However, she will get her chance at redemption. Thank you!
MathiMth – Thanks a lot! I know I can be mean sometimes, but it's fun to have some ups and downs in the story, isn't it? ;) I'm glad you loved the chapter, and let me know what you think about this chapter!
XxthecornykittyxX – Thanks a bunch! I'm glad you liked the chapter! Agreed! Even though the story is MerDer, it's good to see some of the other characters pop in from time to time too. Hope you liked this update!
BoxingTheStars812 – Thank you! I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed the chapter! Hope you got some of your answers in this chapter. More is on the way!
A.M – Thank you for your kind words! They made my day and night! I know that you didn't get to see Library Guy's point of view in this chapter, but it's coming up in the next one, I promise. Amelia will be popping up from time to time too! You don't know how happy you made me with your kind words. Thank you! And as far as replying to reviews is concerned, I love replying to all the reviews and interacting with all my readers. It's so wonderful to sort of engage in a conversation with them and exchange points of view :) Let me know what you think of this chapter!
Cindy – Thanks a bunch! Hope I gave you enough MerDer in this chapter! I'm extremely gratified to know that you are so invested in my story. I know this chapter was not my best work till date, but I hope you liked it anyway! More is on the way! :)
msnovelist – Thank you so much! I know I am mean, I know ;) I am glad that you like how the story is going. And it's okay that you didn't review chap 5; life gets busy, I understand. However, if you review this chapter, I will love you forever! :D
Ellen – Thank you for the lovely review! You are right, Meredith needs to be a little more confident about herself, and that change will be happening in this story. In fact, your review just gave me a bunch of cool ideas, so thank you for that! This is why I love readers and reviewers; each reader brings something new to the table and gives me more and more ideas about how to develop the story. And agreed! I made Susan a real witch in this story, but she will get her chance at redemption. Until then...Let me know what you think! :)
Melinda – Thanks so much for the wonderful review! Your kind words made my day! I'm glad you love this AU so much! Hope you liked this chapter!
unnamedconspirator – Thank you! I'm glad that I was able to pique your interest despite the fact that you don't read AU stories. Thanks!
scenescaptured – Thank you so much! I'm glad you think so. More is on the way!
Obstinate headstrong girl – Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Lizzy! Your review brightened up my wintry day! Mark is on his way to coming to his senses. And no problem about replying to your review. I love engaging in conversations with my readers; it gives me great joy to exchange ideas with them. So, if you have any ideas/suggestions or anything, feel free to go ahead and tell me. And of course, let me know what you think!
Priscilla – Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing, Priscilla! I'm glad that you are so invested in this story, and looks like your wish just got granted. Well, sort of, since Meredith and Derek went out on their very first date. Whether there will be a second date is still a question, but oh well...And as far as reviews are concerned, I hope you understand why I do that. I love receiving feedback from my readers, and it seems to me that this is the only way. Hope you understand! Let me know what you think! :)
funkmama13 – Thank you! Looks like you got your answers in this chapter ;) Agreed! This Meredith is way more sensitive, and we have to wait and see if Library Guy plays with her heart or shows her what love is like. Thanks!
Camilla – Thanks a lot! I'm happy to hear that you like this story so much! More is on the way!