A/N: Happy New Year! With the beginning of 2016, here's something to new hopes and dreams. I'd have posted this chapter a week earlier, but my grandmother passed away a week ago and my family is going through a tough time right now. Hence my updating schedule was thrown off. Anyways, hope you enjoy this chapter!
Derek Shepherd couldn't sleep. It was almost midnight, but sleep was eluding Derek. He just couldn't sleep. He kicked his feet under the blankets and turned around in bed, his eyes glancing to the clock sitting on the bedside table. 12:05, the red digits shone in the pitch-black darkness. Derek let out a frustrated sigh and ran a hand over his face. The same thing had been happening to him for a week now. He lay in bed at night, tossing and turning, but failed to catch some sleep until the wee hours of the morning. The same old thing for a whole week now, and it was getting tiresome and all kinds of annoying. Ever since his breakfast date with his Library Girl, sleep had said goodbye to him.
Not that his date with Library Girl – Meredith – had gone badly. In fact, in his entire life of 25 years, it had most probably been the most amazing date of Derek's life. Meredith had been...She had been everything he had imagined her to be and then some. She had been like a breath of fresh air – refreshing, soothing, relaxing. He had enjoyed every minute he had spent with her. She was nothing like the girls he had dated in the past. Not even close. And that was why Derek had lost his sleep. Because Meredith was different, and that scared Derek shitless.
Derek did not scare easily, but what he felt for Meredith scared him. He liked Meredith, really liked Meredith. He was not just physically attracted to her, there was something more. But, he was not the commitment type of guy. He was the type of guy who didn't date the same girl for more than two months. He was the type of guy who only did casual flings, not serious relationships. He was the type of guy who broke a girl's heart when she started to get attached to him. He didn't do serious, long term relationships. He didn't do dating and falling in love. And that was why he hadn't dared to ring Meredith up since their breakfast date a week ago. He had sat with the flimsy napkin in his hand every night for the past week, thinking about calling Meredith and talking to her – asking her out on a second date, but he had chickened out every single time.
He didn't do serious relationships, and getting involved with Meredith would either entail a serious relationship or breaking her heart. He couldn't do the former, because he was not alone. He had Amy to think about, to care for. He couldn't give another girl more priority in his life, not while Amy was still in college. And he couldn't break Meredith's heart either, because Meredith was different. She was not like the other girls and he was sure that breaking her heart would do him in too. He didn't want to hurt Meredith in any way, let alone do something like breaking her heart, period.
So, caught in the crossfire of his own thoughts, Derek lay awake every night, humming and hawing about what to do. He had never thought that he'd find himself in such a strange situation. He had never really planned on liking, deeply liking a girl. His situation was strange. Because, any outsider would think that the situation was simple enough and needed no second thought. But, from Derek's viewpoint, the situation was far more complicated and tangled up. Hence Derek was at a loss for what to do. Times like these made him wish that his mom was still alive. Or that his dad was not his dad, but a normal, good dad.
Derek could usually talk to Amy about everything, but this was not something he could talk to Amy about. However, he was in dire need of advice - that he was sure of.
Sighing, Derek turned around and breathed out loudly. He needed to forget about whether he should call Library Girl or not and go to sleep. Because he had work the next day, and he needed to be alert and active at work. He couldn't be tired out and drowsy, dozing off. He couldn't be sleep deprived at work. No, he needed to sleep. Everything else would have to wait, at least till the next day.
The next day, Derek walked up to Tim's room in the hospice with his lunch tray in his hands. He was sure that his eyes were bloodshot and red-rimmed due to the lack of sleep and he would kill to get a bed to sleep on at the moment. However, as he entered Tim's room, he stretched his lips into a smile and greeted his favourite old man.
"Hey, old man. How are you today?" Derek asked as he set the tray of food on the bedside table and pulled out a chair.
"I'm good. I'm always good," Tim said with a broad smile, "But, you tell me. What's wrong with you?"
Derek's smile faded as he looked up at Tim in shock. "M – Me? What's wrong with me? Nothing, nothing..." Derek said, lowering his gaze.
"Tut, tut," Tim said, shaking his head. "Don't lie to me, Derek Shepherd. I thought we were friends, and friends tell each other everything, right? I have been watching you for a week now. Something's wrong. Tell me. As a friend."
Derek sat down on the chair and ran his hand through his hair with a sigh. He would be lying if he said that he hadn't been itching to talk to Tim about his date with Meredith. But, Tim had been admitted to the hospital only a month ago, and Derek didn't want to burden Tim with his woes. However, with the gentle push from Tim, Derek couldn't stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth.
"I...I went on a breakfast date with Library Girl," Derek said, his lips automatically stretching into a small, fond smile at the memory.
Tim's eyes widened and he grinned. "Derek, that's amazing! So, you finally managed to grow a pair and ask her out? Attaboy!"
"No, actually...She was the one who asked me out," Derek rejoined with a sheepish smile.
Tim furrowed his eyebrows. "At least, she has the guts to speak her mind then. That makes one of you," he said with a small laugh. "Why are so distraught then? The date didn't go well? She was not what you expected?"
Derek shook his head quickly. "No, no, that's not...The date went very well. She was...She was amazing. I was completely at ease while talking to her. I felt like I had known her for years. Meredith was...She was great," Derek said, smiling.
"Meredith," Tim said, "So that's your Library Girl's name. It's a beautiful name. So, if the date went well, what's the problem then?"
"I..." Derek said and then paused, trying to find the right words. "Tim, you know that I don't do serious relationships, right? I don't do the whole committing to a girl thing and...You know that. I just...I don't want Meredith to be one of my casual flings because I know that there's something more than that and...and...I don't want to hurt Meredith. But, I don't do serious relationships either. I am not making any sense, am I?" Derek asked.
"You are making sense to me," Tim said and then looked Derek in the eye. "You don't do serious relationships, but you want Meredith to be more than a casual fling. Now, as far as I remember, the reason you don't do serious relationships is Amelia."
Derek nodded silently, waiting for Tim to continue.
"But, Amelia is pretty grown up now, Derek. She's in college, she is engaged to a good man – a man she loves and a man you have known since your college days. She has got her life on the right track. I don't understand why you can't have a serious relationship because of Amelia anymore."
Derek sighed and murmured, "I know that. I know all of that. But, no matter how grown up Amy is, she will always be my baby sister. I am her big brother, Tim. I am all she has. I can't become so caught up in my own love life that I forget to protect my baby sister."
"And you won't!" Tim exclaimed rather forcefully. "You won't forget to love and protect your sister if you go out and have a life of your own, Derek. You will still be her overprotective big brother. You will just be a happier, non-single overprotective big brother."
"But...but," Derek said, "I can't give another girl more priority in my life, Tim. I did that once and I ended up neglecting Amy!"
"Oh, that's bologna!" Tim barked. "You didn't neglect Amy. Amy was just too young to understand that her big brother can have a life of his own. How old was she when she said that she felt neglected? Nine? Ten? She is grown up now. She understands that you have a right to be happy too. If anything, Amy will be happy when she hears that you have finally found a girl for yourself. Don't you think she wants to see her big brother happy too, just like you want to see her happy? It's not a choice between your family and your love life, Derek. Yes, the circumstances you grew up in made it that way, but it doesn't have to be that way anymore. You need to stop sacrificing your life for the sake of your sister's. And I am pretty sure that she understands that too." Tim paused and took in deep breaths to regain his composure after his lengthy monologue.
Derek didn't say anything to Tim. He let Tim's words sink in as Tim regained his composure.
"Derek, if you are having a hard time believing me, then I think you should go and talk to Amelia about it. Hear it for yourself. Trust me, she wants you to be happy in your life too," Tim murmured in a softer tone.
Silence descended over the duo as Derek ruminated on Tim's words. Maybe, Tim was right. Maybe, he could give his and Meredith's...whatever it was a shot. Amy was happy and in love now. She wouldn't...He wouldn't be neglecting Amy if he gave Meredith and his thing a shot, would he?
Finally, after a long, long minute, Derek looked up with a tiny smile and said, "Okay, I will think about it and tell you what I decide. Thanks, Tim. Thank you for listening to me, for the advice and for...everything. I don't know what I'd do without you."
"You'd be lost without me," Tim said with a smug grin as Derek stood up and set the lunch tray in front of Tim. "Think about it, Derek. You have a right to be happy in your life too," Tim added on a serious note as he placed a shaky hand on Derek's shoulder.
"I will. Now that I have delayed your lunch with all the talks of my woes, here," Derek said, motioning to the food. "Eat, or they will fire me if they find out I kept you from your lunch," Derek joked.
"Oh, come on. You know that emotionally, I can run rings around men like you, don't you?" Tim said with a chortle.
"Oh, believe me, I know," Derek said with a chuckle of his own as Tim started his lunch.
Derek waited outside the large building called Seattle Public Library patiently in his red shirt, black jeans and black jacket. He tapped his foot as he glanced at his wrist watch. He could hardly wait. After a week of agonizing worry, he could hardly wait. He had finally taken Tim's advice and called Meredith that afternoon, asking her to meet him outside the Seattle Public Library. He had apologized to her about not calling her earlier, but she had brushed it off and agreed to meet him quite cheerfully. Yet, as Derek stood outside the library, he didn't know why he felt so nervous. Nervous and doubtful about whether Meredith was actually going to come.
Not that he didn't believe Meredith. After all, Meredith had said that she was going to meet him outside the library in the evening. But, Derek still felt jittery. He hadn't called Meredith for a week after their first date. What must Meredith be thinking of him? She must have thought that he wasn't interested or something like that. She must have thought that he was one of those guys who went on a date with a girl and then never called. Which was totally not true because he had called. He had called, even if he had probably been a little late in doing that. But, he had called, so that had to count, right?
Derek jammed his hands into his pockets and waited, trying not to go crazy over it. Meredith was going to come. She had said that she was going to come. She wouldn't ditch him. Or she could ditch him, as payback for not calling for a week. But, Derek hoped and prayed and wished that she wouldn't ditch him. He had finally forgotten the risk and taken the fall. So, she had to come. She just had to.
As Derek waited, a taxicab pulled up to the kerb and the door of the passenger's seat opened. Derek's heart jumped into his mouth when his eyes landed on Meredith stepping out of the cab in a casual sweater and jeans. He breathed in relief as he watched Meredith pay the driver and the driver whisked the cab away.
"Hey," Meredith murmured as she walked up to him with a coy smile on her lips.
"Hey," Derek said back, a smile of relief and happiness spreading out on his face. "How are you?"
"I'm good," Meredith said, wringing her hands as she went and stood next to him. "How are you?"
"Good," Derek said, letting his eyes sweep over Meredith's form quickly. She was wearing a lavender V-neck sweater that fitted her to a T. Her hair was down, falling in gentle curls over her shoulders. Her face was make-up free as always, but for a hint of lip gloss on her lips. "You look beautiful," Derek said, unable to help it.
He watched as Meredith's cheeks pinked and she looked down at her feet, a small smile playing on her lips. "Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself," she said in a soft voice, so soft that Derek might not have heard her.
"Thanks," Derek said and cleared his throat. "I – uhm – I am sorry I didn't call you all week. I just," Derek paused, thinking about what to say to her. He couldn't say to her, "I didn't call you because I don't do serious relationships and so I was having doubts about this thing with us." That would just...That would nip whatever they had in the bud and that would be it. So, after a minute, Derek said, "I just got crazy busy with work and everything and...I just got busy and burned-out. Yeah."
Meredith looked up at him and shook her head. "Don't – don't worry about it. I mean, I did wonder for a while why you didn't call me, but I figured that you were either really really busy or you probably didn't want anything to do with me or –"Meredith stopped midway, a look of horror on her face that made it clear that she had given the matter a lot of thought but she hadn't meant to let it slip in front of him. "I – I shouldn't have...I didn't think about it all that much," she said quickly, trying to cover up her slip of tongue as her cheeks turned crimson. "I was busy too. Really really busy. Very busy and so...Yeah, definitely didn't think about why you hadn't called me."
Derek wanted to laugh, but he didn't. She would probably take it the wrong way. He didn't want to laugh at her; she was just too damn adorable when she blushed and rambled like that. So damn adorable. But, he couldn't help but feel guilty either. He had probably sent out the message that he wasn't interested in her. She had worked up the guts to ask him out first, and he had repaid by not calling her for a week. That definitely sent out the wrong signal. And all he knew now was that he had to make it up to her. Make her believe that he was definitely very very interested in her.
"Ok," he said gently, resisting the urge to take her hand. "So, you ready to go?"
"Yeah," Meredith said. "Though, you still haven't told me where you are taking me," she said with a giggle as Derek led the way to his car.
"Ah, that," Derek said, "as I told you, is a surprise. I hope you trust me enough to come along with me. I promise you won't regret it."
"Well," Meredith said, sitting on the shotgun seat, "As long as you are not an axe murderer who takes girls to unknown places to kill them, I think we should be fine." She giggled as she watched the look on Derek's face.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Derek said with a chuckle, revelling in her melodious giggle. "I can assure you that I am not an axe murderer and I definitely don't have an axe with me."
"Good, then," Meredith said as Derek started the car and drove along the busy streets of Seattle.
"Where are we?" Meredith asked in an inquisitive voice as she stepped out of Derek's car in a lonely, desolate looking place.
"We are on a piece of land," Derek said cryptically, causing Meredith to giggle.
"I know that we are on a piece of land. It's quite obvious," Meredith said, "But, where are we? As in what place is this?"
"You'll know in a few minutes," Derek said as he came up to her and after a moment of hesitation, he reached out to her and took her hand gently in his. "We have to walk a bit from here. Shall we go?" he asked, wondering if she would pull her hand away from his. He had definitely felt her body tense when his skin had touched hers.
Meredith stared at him for a moment before grasping his hand firmly, the skin-to-skin contact sending a delicious chill down Derek's spine. "Let's go," she said in a relaxed voice, making Derek wonder if she had felt that chill too.
The duo started to walk down a trail in comfortable, companionable silence. Derek kept glancing at Meredith from time to time, unable to help looking at her. The trees around them stood tall and proud, and as the wind blew, the treetops seemed to be bowing to the duo. After a good few minutes of silent walking, the twosome finally reached a clearing.
Derek led Meredith through the clearing to the edge of a cliff, and he smiled automatically when he heard her soft gasp from beside. From the top of the cliff, they had a clear, unbroken view of the entire city of Seattle and the Elliot Bay. The city lights sparkled like tiny stars beneath them in the darkness of the night.
"Derek, this is...Wow..." Meredith whispered, her eyes glued to the incredibly beautiful view stretching in front of her.
"You like it?" Derek asked, averting his eyes from the view to look at Meredith's face. Her cheeks were slightly flushed, but her eyes were sparkling like two stars as she looked at the view with her mouth agape. She was a sight to behold too.
"Like it?" Meredith murmured, not averting her eyes from the view. "Derek, I love this! This is...This is amazing and beautiful and...I have no words, and I'm usually a very wordy person," she said with a soft laugh.
"It does that, doesn't it? Makes you speechless?"
Meredith nodded her head as she finally tore her eyes away from the view to look at Derek. "I – you – how did you find this place?"
Derek looked down to his and Meredith's entwined hands as he replied, "I love hiking. And I have been living in Seattle all my life, so I know a lot of hidden hiking trails here. But, this place...My dad brought me here when I was five. I fell in love with the place immediately. Since then, I come here for hiking whenever I feel like it." A fond smile spread out on Derek's face as he remembered those happy childhood days, when his mom had still been alive and his dad had still been a loving, doting father.
Meredith noticed Derek's glassy eyes and kept quiet for a few minutes. He seemed to be in the middle of remembering something happy. She bit her lower lip and hesitated a bit, before throwing caution to the wind and giving his hand a small squeeze.
The squeeze brought Derek back to the present and he immediately blinked his tears away as he looked at Meredith with a smile. "There is a lake here too. I love fishing, so I come here to fish sometimes. I will show you the lake later on," he said, changing the topic and Meredith realized that Derek didn't really want to talk about his dad anymore.
"Okay," she said with a soft smile.
"You know, if I ever become a published writer, the first thing I wanna do is buy this piece of land and build a house here," Derek said.
"That'd be awesome," Meredith said with a grin. "I'd be so envious of you then, because not only would you be a published writer but also have a house here," she said, waving her free hand to gesture to the land, "and I'd still be living with my mom and dad."
"You still live with your parents?" Derek asked.
"Yeah..."Meredith said in a small voice. "I just...Not enough money to pay the rent for an apartment and so...yeah," she said, looking down. "I know it sounds like I am still in high school, but..."
"Hey," Derek said, squeezing her hand, "I am not judging you. I am sorry if it came across like that, but I am definitely not judging you. So what if you still live with your parents? It's nothing to be ashamed of. I used to live with my sister until she moved in with her boyfriend, so I am definitely not judging."
Meredith looked up to Derek with a smile on her face. What was it about this guy that made her feel completely at ease and a little unashamed of living with her parents? "Thanks," she said with a grateful smile. "So...Are we gonna be just standing here or what?"
"Oh, I left the blankets and the food in the car. You stay here and wait for me. I'll go and bring the things. Don't move," Derek said with a smile as he left her hand and started to walk backwards.
"Okay, I will not move," Meredith said with a giggle as Derek gave her a wink before disappearing in the darkness of the night.
After about twenty minutes, Meredith and Derek were seated on a medium-sized blanket spread on the ground, and Derek was taking out their dinner.
"I hope you like Italian takeaway, because that's what I brought for dinner," Derek said as he took out two paper plates.
"Italian is my favourite, so you don't have to worry," Meredith said, "If you had brought Chinese takeaway though, it'd have been a different story."
"You don't like Chinese?"
"I hate Chinese," Meredith said with a look of disgust. "It's absolutely gross and makes me gag."
Upon hearing that, Derek suddenly remembered that he had read in Diary Girl's diary that she hated Chinese too. What a rare coincidence, he thought. "Well," he said, "You are the second person I know who hates Chinese."
"Really? Who is the first?" Meredith asked, arching an eyebrow as Derek served the pasta on the plates.
Derek shrugged. For some reason, he didn't feel like sharing Diary Girl's story with Meredith yet, no matter how comfortable he felt with Meredith or how much he liked her. No, Diary Girl was his secret, and he wasn't about to share his secret with anyone yet. "No one in particular. Just an old friend," he said in what he hoped was a nonchalant voice.
"Old friend or old girlfriend?" Meredith asked, giggling as she watched the look on Derek's face. "Oh, don't sweat it. I was just kidding," she said.
"Okay," Derek said, not knowing why his heart had sped up like crazy on hearing Meredith use the term "girlfriend" with reference to Diary Girl. Diary Girl was definitely not his girlfriend. How could she be? All he had was her diary. He didn't even know her name. Diaries didn't make people his girlfriend.
"Oh, Derek, look! A shooting star!" Meredith suddenly exclaimed, looking at the night sky.
Derek turned his eyes towards the sky just in time to see a shooting star flying across the sky.
"Quick, make a wish," Meredith said in an excited voice as she closed her eyes and started to make a wish.
Derek gazed at Meredith's face for a moment, before closing his eyes and making a wish too. He wished that he could meet Diary Girl in person one day. After finishing his wish, Derek opened his eyes and took his Polaroid camera out of his bag. As Meredith opened her eyes, Derek quickly snapped a Polaroid of her with his camera.
"Derek!" Meredith exclaimed in surprise, caught off guard. "What – you...?" she said as she took in the Polaroid camera and the photograph in his hands.
"I'm keeping this," Derek said, waving her photo in front of her with a smirk plastered on his face.
"You can't take pictures of me all of a sudden like that," Meredith grumbled, crossing her arms, "That's not fair. I wasn't ready. And do you always bring your Polaroid camera with you on dates?"
Derek laughed as he carefully placed his camera and Meredith's photo inside his bag. "I take my Polaroid camera with me everywhere I go, and snap pictures of random strangers or scenes just like that," he said.
"Just like that? Of anyone or anything?" Meredith raised an eyebrow.
"No, not of anyone or anything. Just pictures of people or things worth remembering," Derek said, looking into her eyes. "People who...who captivate me...I captivate them with my camera," he murmured, gazing deeply into Meredith's eyes.
"People who...captivate you..." Meredith whispered, her gaze lowering to his lips.
"Yes," Derek whispered, his eyes falling to her lips too. Involuntarily, he leaned towards her and Meredith shivered. Her eyes fell shut as their lips were only inches apart. Derek took in her closed eyes once, before closing his own eyes and closing the small distance between their lips. He pressed his lips to hers softly, tentatively at first, before pulling back slightly and pressing his lips to hers once again, firmly this time.
A cool breeze blew and Meredith shivered. But, she was sure that her shiver had nothing to do with the breeze and had everything to do with Derek's warm, soft lips pressed firmly against hers. It was her first kiss, and she had no idea what to do except what she had seen on TV. Gathering a bit of courage, she opened her mouth slightly and pressed her parted lips to Derek's, deepening the kiss. Derek took her invitation and softly brushed her lips with his tongue, causing Meredith to gasp and cup his left cheek with her palm.
Derek pulled back from her slightly, breathless and panting. He looked into Meredith's sparkling green orbs, his lips still tingling from the soft, gentle kiss.
"Wow..." Meredith whispered, touching her lips with her fingers, still unable to believe that Derek had kissed her – that she had just experienced her very first kiss.
"Wow?" Derek asked with a breathy chuckle.
"Oh, I – um..." Meredith stuttered, looking down as a blush crept up on her cheeks. She was a moron. What kind of idiot said 'wow' after a kiss? She was officially an idiot, and now, Derek knew it too.
"Wow describes it quite perfectly, doesn't it?" Derek said, giving her a lopsided smile. "Wow..." he echoed, causing Meredith to forget her initial mortification as she giggled.
"Wow," she repeated, mirroring Derek's smile. Just then, her stomach rumbled and Derek chortled.
"I agree that it was a wow kiss, but I think our stomachs are craving our wow dinner now," Derek said, and Meredith laughed loudly.
"I agree completely," Meredith said as she picked up her plate and the duo started to eat their dinner as the night sky, the moon and the stars gazed from above.
One week ago:-
Lexie stepped out of her car in front of Café Presse – the place where she had asked Mark to meet her. Taking off her sunglasses, she walked inside the café and spotted Mark sitting at a table in one corner of the café. She walked up to the table and Mark stood up to greet her.
"Hey," Mark said as Lexie approached the table and pulled out a chair.
"Hey," Lexie said in a curt tone, sitting down on the chair.
"Lexie, I am sorr –"Mark started to say, but Lexie raised her hand to stop him.
"Mark, I don't want to listen to your sorries anymore," Lexie interjected, "You have made it aptly clear how sorry you are."
Mark lapsed into silence. However, Lexie went on. "I thought a lot about what you said last night," Lexie said, looking down at a spot on the table. "And I am not going to sugar-coat things for you. I'm mad at you. I'm beyond mad at you. Even if I do believe your story that that other girl kissed you and there was nothing on your part, I'm still mad at you."
Mark couldn't speak. He was at a loss for words. He just stared at Lexie, hanging on to her every word.
"But," Lexie said after a pause, "I do believe in second chances and forgiveness. And...I think you deserve a second chance. I think I can give you a second chance."
A look of relief spread over Mark's facial features, but Lexie didn't let it last for long.
"I think I can forgive you, but eventually. Not right now. I – I need some time to...get over what you did. So, I want you to give me some time. Some space. Don't push me to forgive you. I want to do it in my own time," Lexie murmured.
"Lexie," Mark finally spoke, "What are you saying?"
"I am saying that we should stop this... whatever we had going on, for a while," Lexie said, not meeting Mark's gaze.
Neither Mark nor Lexie spoke after that, and Lexie let out an inaudible sigh. She had made this decision after a lot of overnight rumination. Amelia Shepherd had been right. Lexie was tired of being just Mark's fuck buddy. She wanted more with him. She wanted to be his girlfriend. She wanted to be his eventual fiancée. She wanted to be his eventual wife. She just wanted more with Mark. But, Mark was not ready to give her what she wanted. He just wanted to screw her. And whether Lexie wanted to admit it or not, it was slowly killing her. Being with Mark yet not fully having him was killing Lexie. It was causing her more pain than being without Mark would cause her. And so, Lexie was putting an end to it. She was putting her foot down and walking away from him. If Mark loved her, or even cared for like she did, he'd realize that and come back to her. And if he didn't come back...Well, then Lexie would at least get an answer, once and for all.
When Mark continued to remain mum, Lexie took his silence for wordless acceptance. Maybe, Mark wasn't as sorry as he claimed to be, after all. Maybe, she didn't really matter that much to him. Maybe, she was only a fuck buddy to him and nothing more. As the realization hit her, Lexie tried to fight back tears that had sprung to her eyes. Blinking quickly, she tried not to cry as she stood up wordlessly and proceeded to leave.
As Lexie turned around to leave, Mark caught her arm from behind, causing Lexie to freeze.
"Lexie," Mark said in a thick voice, "Please, don't do this. Don't end us like this. You – you can't do this to us."
Lexie opened her mouth to speak, but before she could utter a word, Mark said, "Lexie, please don't walk away from my life like this. I – I need you. I need you in my life. I...Lexie, I love you."
Lexie's mouth fell open. Her eyes widened in shock. No, that couldn't be...Had she heard it right?
A/N: A small Slexie cliff, and no cliff for MerDer...yet ;) And Meredith's first kiss! Reminds me of "Never Been Kissed," well, kind of. I don't have much to say about this chapter. I'll leave the talking part to you.
Reviews mean the world to me and they'll be a beacon light for me in this time of grief, so... Leave your cheers, jeers, rants, raves and reviews!
A reply to the reviews –
bhavyam1998 – Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you think so. I know this update was a bit of tardy, but hope you let me know what you think!
Obstinate headstrong girl – Thank you! Your review was like a Christmas present too :) I know that Mark and Lexie didn't exactly work things out in this chapter, but their relationship took a great leap. I loved your suggestion of letting Mark and Derek talk about these events, and I'm going to incorporate it in future chapters. So, thanks for the review and the idea! And Happy New Year! :)
mariemarie22 – Thank you! I'm glad I was able to make you happy. Hope you liked this chapter! More is on the way!
funkmama13 – Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! I understand why you are PO'ed at Amy, but as you guessed, she was really young when she said it and thought that she had to share her big brother. As far as Owen is concerned, don't worry – he will get his role too. Once the Slexie drama tones down a bit, Omelia drama will start! ;) And there, I gave you a fair warning about what is going to come. Lexie did consider giving Mark a second chance, but their relationship took a great leap in this chapter. Let me know what you think! And Happy New Year!
RhizOneill – Thank you! I'm happy that you think so. More is on the way!
XxthecornykittyxX – Thanks a bunch! Lexie is hurt and angry, and I agree with you that she is overreacting a tad about it. But, we can't really blame her, can we? She wanted to tell Mark about her feelings, and instead she had to witness that. But, I promise I'll fix them soon. Hope you let me know what you think of this chapter! Thank you :)
ButterflyWhisperer – Thank you so much! I'm so glad that you loved the chapter. More is on the way!
snv3 – Thank you! I'm glad you liked their date, and I hope I was able to provide some insight into Derek's mind. More is on the way, promise!
Priscilla – Thank you! I'm happy you think so. More is on the way!
Patsy – Thanks for the review and your comment didn't offend me at all! I'm sorry if I offended you by making you feel like your comment offended me. My readers' comments can never offend me, and frankly speaking, you didn't say anything offensive, so I hope we're good :) I hate writers pulling stories too, but now that I am a writer myself, I understand why they'd do that. Lack of response from readers or low response demotivates us greatly and hence we stop writing. But, reviewers like you keep us inspired and motivated to write more, always! Thank you for the kind words about my story :)
MathiMth – Thank you! I'm glad you think so. More is on the way!
alida1889 – Thanks a lot! I'm so happy to know that you love it. More is on the way!
Cindy – Thanks a bunch! So happy that you loved it. More is coming, I promise! Hope you let me know what you think!
Anita – Thank you for taking the time to read and review! Sorry for the tardy update, but more is on the way! Let me know what you think!
dobrevicxslexie – Thanks so much for the kind words! They truly mean a lot to me. I promise I'll fix Slexie soon. This chapter gave them a great leap in their relationship. Thank you! :)
Hasi2012 – Thank you! I'm so gratified to hear that you enjoy my little AU so much. And looks like you got it exactly right! Derek's hesitation had everything to do with his love and dedication towards Amy. Sorry for the tardy update! Happy New Year!
Guest #1 – Thank you! I'm so happy to hear that you love it. Hope you let me know what you think!
Kachelle486 – Thank you so much for the sweet words! I can't tell you how happy I am to know that you love this so much. More is on the way!
Walkinginthecity – Thanks for the review! Sorry for the tardy update, but I hope I made it up with the length of the chapter. Hope you let me know what you think of this update!
m. – Thanks a lot! I was a little nervous while sending out the message, but I'm glad you like the story so far. Hope you let me know what you think of this chapter!
Guest #2 – Thanks a bunch for the kind words! I'm so happy that you think so. Happy New Year to you too. I know the update was anything but soon, so sorry for that. More is on the way!
gmgrech – Thanks so much! I'm glad that you love this! Agreed – fanfiction is all we have got now that the show has ruined it all. MerDer forever indeed!
SpiritSkater – Thank you so much for the kind words! They made my day! I'm so gratified that you love this story so far. MerDer will know the truth about things soonish, I promise. And sorry for the tardy update. Real life circumstances were such that I couldn't even think about sitting down with my computer. Hope you let me know what you think! Thank you!
derlovesmerlovesder – Thanks a bunch for reading and reviewing! Glad you think so. More is on the way!
Alexis – Thank you! I'm happy that you loved this chapter. Agreed! It's a complete role reversal in this story. And I promise you, Derek will teach Meredith...things ;) Thank you so much for the lovely review! It brightened my day!
tanecamyb – Thank you so much! I was a little apprehensive while sending out the message, but you enjoying my story makes it worth it! And thank you for your honesty. Honesty is what I always expect from my readers, because I myself am honest with them and I'm an open book to them. Thank you!
kakki823 – Thanks a lot! And you are not annoying at all, trust me! If anything, your review gave me immense happiness. I am so happy that you love this story. Agreed! Team MerDer, Slexie and Omelia all the way! Thanks!
Kim – Thank you for the review! Glad you think so! I'll keep writing as long as readers are reading and reviewing. More is on the way!
Guest #3 – Thank you! I am really sorry for the late update, but your review really made my day and I hope I made it up with the chapter. More is on the way! :)