DELETE

Part Thirteen: Depression

Akihiko watch the ceiling like if is about to move any second. He has been doing this all morning nonstop. He hasn't eaten breakfast that Misaki premade for him before he had to go to work. Cigarettes are crushed next to him in an ash tray which he usually keeps in his office. Most of them have not even been lighten. Not even a simple cigarette will help Akihiko in what he is feeling at this very moment. Some say he is bored and others say he is lonely. In reality he is depressed. Why, the answer is a bit too broad to say in just one sentence.

There are many things that are going in his life that happens to clash all at once. Exactly eleven months ago, one week before Hiroki went lunatic and decided to go crash himself along with seven other vehicles. Takahiro has found out the truth behind Misaki's relationship status with Akihiko. How it all started was because of that air headed Takahiro stuck his nose into someone's business way too much. It wasn't something along the lines of Takahiro caught Akihiko banging his little brother. It was a much more peaceful setting. They were at a very elegant restaurant that Akihiko picked out close by to the beach to celebrate Takahiro's promotion. Mahiro was with Manami's sister so it is just the four of them having dinner. Misaki by then has graduated college and now works at Marukawa publishing as an Editor for shounen manga. It isn't the greatest paying job in the world but it is far enough to pay for his own apartment and financially support himself. He has been working there for about four months now and Takahiro is starting to get concern.

"Misaki, I understand how stressing your job is but have you ever look at apartments so you can move out already."

Misaki looks up from his menu with a puzzle look on his face.

"Er, well I have but I haven't found one with a good price that is near the place where I work." The young man lied.

"Really? Well I took the time and found one that looks perfect. Its five minutes away from your job and the price range is affordable."

All that Misaki could think right now is how to make up another excuse for not moving. It's not like he wants to keep the whole secret from his brother for the rest of his life but he has to let it out sooner or later.

"Ah thank you but really you shouldn't."

Takahiro decides to push the buttons a bit further.

"I never see you with a girl since college."

"That is because I'm very busy trying not to fail."

"Even now, when you don't need to worry about school anymore."

"My job is very time consuming."

Akihiko decides to turn the conversation around.

"Speaking of girls and work, how is Mahiro doing?"

The blunt moron is now gone on full speed about stories of Mahiro and his pathetic cute adventures. This was absolutely hell for Akihiko. He does not give a rat's ass about that 4 year brat. It was like hearing Misaki's stories all over again back in high school except now he enjoys knowing more about his boyfriend's childhood days then that diminutive twat. Manami could see boredom on Akihiko's and already Misaki's eyes. While Misaki loves Mahiro very much. He now see's why Akihiko's hates these stories. Manami decides to switch back to work conversation.

"It must be nice to work for your dream job. Not many people get to do what they love every day."

Akihiko frowns at Manami unconsciously.

"I guess so. I rarely come to Usagi-san's apartment except to sleep now and when I have a day off I usually spend all day cleaning."

Takahiro then brings his point for moving. "Now you don't need Usagi anymore. You can live by yourself. It will be so much easier on yourself that you don't have to have the responsibility to clean his house. I mean it's very huge and exhausting to do all that work on your day off."
"Well, it is not that I mind. What else is there to do besides sleeping on my day off?"

"You could start going to clubs and meet people."

Once again Akihiko tries to turn the conversation around but it is not working.

"Tell me, when exactly are you going to move?"

Misaki couldn't figure out what to reply anymore. His excuses don't work anymore.

"Soon…"

"How soon to be exact? From my view it seems that you don't really want to move anytime soon."

"That's nonsense Takahiro. I'm still looking."

The atmosphere is getting intense and Akihiko doesn't know what to do to get Misaki out of this conversation topic.

"Really, Misaki I hate to break it to you but you can't live with Usagi forever. He has a life and I'm pretty sure what is holding him back on having a girlfriend and getting married is you."

That just ruins Misaki's ego. He absolutely hates being such a burden on people but the way Takahiro just explain in his words just made him furious. Blaming him on something that was on Akihiko's choice just wants to chock his older brother and slam his head against the wall. Misaki slam his hands on the white table cloth, stood up in infuriated rampage, and scream at his older brother making everyone in the restaurant turn dead silent.

"Do you want to know when I'm moving? Do you want to know why I don't have a damn girlfriend? Do you want to know why I am never getting married in this lifetime? It's because I'm gay! There! Are you happy! I said it loud and clear! I am a homosexual and you know who I am with right now? That fucking rabbit sitting right next to me. "

Takahiro is now shock and couldn't say anything else. How did this happen to his poor little brother? Takahiro wasn't angry at Misaki. He felt sympathy for him instead his anger went straight to Akihiko.

"What the hell were you doing with Misaki?"

It is Akihiko's turn to go and yell at Takahiro.

"The hells were you pressuring Misaki you fucking blunt. You were the one looking for someone to tutor him and it just so happens that we fell in love."

The older brother turn to Misaki in confuse but anger sort of way.

"That long? I sent you to a pedophile sick homo. Oh my god I'm so sorry Misaki! If I knew then I would never sent you to be tutored by that disgusting pervert."

Misaki is in disgust by Takhiro's choice of words.

"It wasn't Akihiko's fault! I fell in love with him first! He just accepted it and that was it!"

While the aura in this building was intense somehow Akihiko gaze at Misaki and felt his heart beat a thousand miles per second at what his boyfriend just said. Takahiro did not believe in any of the things Misaki just said.

"You were traumatized by that pervert. That's what made you think like that!"

"Traumatize? You mean love you moron. You know what! Enjoy your fucking meal. I'm leaving."

"Misaki! Don't you dare leave from this building!"

"I'm not ten years old Takahiro. You can't control my life anymore."

"Misaki! Misaki!"

Misaki left along with Akihiko trailing behind him. Everyone went back to eating once the show was over. Takahiro slunk down to his chair still shocked. Manami who was watching the whole thing in silent decided to speak up.

"Takahiro…"

"Shut up"

Takahiro, the giggling buffoon that Mamami always known and loved has just been told to shut up which made her upset to hear. She didn't say anything after that and they both left without eating.

Misaki on the other hand was running. He didn't know were but he just kept running. Akihiko ran after him but smoking since he was 15 made him start to have side effects. He began to cough and wheeze while screaming 'Misaki'. He soon caught up to him at the beach. No one was there except them. He heard sniffles and hic ups from the younger man. Akihiko finally realized how much his lover grew over the years. Never in his life has he heard Misaki talk like that in front of his brother. It touches his heart on how much Misaki cares for him and is willing to destroy his relationship with his brother just to be with him. Akihiko never felt so much desire and love for Misaki until this night. Akihiko held Misaki who was still sobbing and smother his face into the thick wild chocolate hair. The breeze blow against their skin and Misaki shivered. He burry into Akihiko's chest for warmth and surprisingly Akihiko felt very warm that night despite of the weather. That night Akihiko's hands didn't felt like emotionless ice against Misaki skin instead they feel so warm and affectionate.

"Usagi… why does your hands feel so…warm?"

Akihiko smiles and for once he finally shed a tear.

"I don't know. You finally admit fully with your heart that you love me. I guess that is why?"

"Stupid, I always love you. No matter what I say or how I denied it. I love you Akihiko."

Akihiko fell down dragging Misaki with him to the sand. He kisses him and shed the clothes of his young love one. Misaki made no complaint on how they were outside on a public beach. They were filled with passion and in the moment that he did not want to ruin it. He wants Akihiko to be in him and grow their love more than they have even done in the past five years they have been together. Right before Akihiko unbuttons the last button on Misaki's shirt he smiles and kisses his bellybutton making Misaki flinch.

"Misaki, let's get married."

Misaki looks at Akihiko is lustful love eyes and beam.

"Why not?"

A week later Hiroki crashed. This alarmed the two love struck birds and end up having the marriage up hold. Takahiro tries to take Misaki away which causes another fight but this time in Akihiko's penthouse. Manami became pregnant a few months later. Hiroki's mother came to visit Akihiko and is now angry that he turns her son into a homosexual. Misaki now never has time for him and they are now fighting. After all of this he is now facing something that he has never really got himself into. He has writers block which put him hiatus. Aikawa tries to make his imagination flow again but nothing comes into his mind. Right now at this moment Akihiko is fully depress. Misaki tries talking about it but they just end up another fight.

All he has done was sleep and think. Well more on the sleeping part. He does not feel like doing anything and is never hungry. He has drop 10 pounds already and is starting to feel week. He usually smokes to relax but lately cigarettes don't do anything but make him depress then he already is.

He finally stops looking at the ceiling and turns his head to the ash tray.

"I'm not in the mood to see Hiroki today. I'll go see him tomorrow."

He turns around to face the sofa and fell asleep.