Summary: When Sammy went to college, it bother John but it was Dean who was the most affected by the loss of his brother.
I fucking hated that Sam was gone; it wasn't the same without my brother. Dad was worse than ever and taking it out on me. He thought that it was my fault, that I should have done more to keep Sam here. He was too blind to see that it was him that made Sam leave and not want to come back.
When dad went on a hunting trip, I took off to Uncle Bobby's; the only person who I ever truly thought of as a father. It was him that suggested that I go and visit Sam. I wasn't sure if Sam would want to see him and I told Bobby as much, so he suggested that I go without telling him that I was coming. When I asked about dad, he told me that he would take care of it. I agreed and left to go and see Sam.
I drove and drove, only stopping for food, rest and gas and when I finally made it to the college, I was nervous and I didn't like it because I was never nervous but standing on the grounds of the campus hoping to find my brother; the person who I raised, I was nervous and my hands were sweating.
I didn't know where to look for Sam, I asked a few people but they didn't know him. I ran into a security guard and he told me to head to the register's office and ask them, I thanked him and went in the direction of the office. When I got there, I asked the pretty girl behind the desk about Sam and she tapped some keys on her computer and told me that Sam was in class right now but it was about to end. She gave me a map and told me where to go. I thanked her, gave her my number and then left.
Once I was standing outside of the building where Sam was, the nerves kicked in again and I again wondered if I was doing the right thing. I stood behind the tree that I was next to as the doors open and people started to spill out. It wasn't hard to find my brother, he was walking with his arm around a pretty girl, laughing at something the guy in front of him had said. I was going to make my way over to him but when I saw how happy he was, I didn't want to ruin it, so I stood behind the tree like a stalker and just watched him.
I followed him and his group of friends to a pub, still keeping well back and just watched him for a couple of hours. I so desperately wanted to go to my brother and talk to him, tell him how sorry I was for not sticking up for him when he was telling dad about wanting to go to college. Tell him how much I missed him and hoped that we could get back to the relationship we had before he left but like a coward, I didn't. I just stayed away from him and watched him.
After awhile Sam and the girl left, I waited for a bit and then took my leave as well. But instead of continuing to follow them, I went to Baby and decided to head home. I had a heavy heart but I was also happy because Sam was happy and that's all that I ever wanted for my Sammy; for him to be happy, living a life that wasn't the life of a Hunter and that's what he had right now.