AN: WARNING! You may cry during this chapter but I had to do it eventually. I hope you enjoy it (as much as possible)
When I opened my eyes, I knew I was no longer in the apprentices' den. Tall blades of grass swayed around me with dew drops clinging to them like a life line while Silverpelt shone overhead so brightly, the stars themselves seemed to be welcoming me. I knew where I was, I had been here before. Starlit Fields. Slowly, I uncurled myself and stood to my paws; glancing every which was as I did so.
Eventually I caught sight of a beautiful StarClan she-cat, the same one I had met last time. The same one whose name she had never told me. Carefully, I padded towards her. She turned to greet me when I was about a tail-length away from her; her orange eyes were bright and seemed to smile at me. "I see that we meet again in the Starlit Fields," she mewed softly in greeting before bowing her head to me. I followed her example and bowed my head in greeting.
"I don't know why you brought me here again, but I remember that you still owe me an answer," I pointed out as I sat on my haunches.
She watched me before letting a soft giggle loose. "A fair point, I do owe you an answer to who I am." She flicked her tail in thought before settling it over her paws. "However-" I groaned inwardly, she was avoiding the question "- I want to commend you on your good judgment." The starry she-cat watched me as my eyes widened.
"You were watching?"
She nodded affirmative. "I had to; your choice was a precious one." She glanced over her shoulder at Silverpelt and watching the stars as they flickered in the dark sky. "You had to choose who lived and died in that moment where Featherstar asked you to decide who got the prey."
My eyes widened even more. "What do you mean by 'who lived and died'?" My voice was high with worry. Had I killed someone? Was it my fault?
She seemed to realize what was going through my head because she turned back to me and placed her tail lightly atop my shoulder. "You have killed no one, Mistpaw. Rather, you have saved many." Relief surged through me, but confusion still surfaced. Again, she seemed to know what I was thinking. "You see those stars over there, those tiny ones?" I followed her gave to where two tiny stars lay side by side. They somehow reminded me of Stonekit and Fallowkit, but I didn't know how.
"Had you not given the prey to Morningdawn, those stars would have gone out and I would have cried for the life that was lost so young."
That was when it hit me, the words Frailwhisker had told me when Morningdawn's kits had died at her kitting. ''When a kit dies, StarClan weeps for the life with no name." Frailwhisker's words bounced around in my head until the pieces fit together perfectly. "Those stars are Fallowkit and Stonekit, aren't they?" I asked quietly, afraid of the answer.
The ghostly cat lowered her head and nodded.
Bile caught in my throat as I came to realize that the stars that gleamed on Silverpelt were not StarClan warriors but warriors from my Clan and all the other Clans; kits, elders, and warriors alike. Somewhere up there, a star symbolizing my life gleamed alongside my Clan.
"They would have died had it not been for the prey you gave to Morningdawn." My mouth went dry as the words left her mouth. Had I chosen to give it to anyone but Morningdawn, two kits would have died and Morningdawn would have nothing to live for.
Tears stung my eyes as realization hit me; I had been given the chance to save the lives of my clanmates and I had done it. I had saved part of my Clan with a simple decision. The starry she-cat turned and flicked my cheek with her tail. "There is no need to cry, little one, they are alive and well and now Morningdawn has her reason to live on. You have saved three cats today and for that I am proud of you."
I blinked and shook the tears from my eyes before smiling at my success. We watched the stars for a few heartbeats before I spoke again. "Could you tell me your name, please? I still want to know it."
She nodded and smiled before everything changed. It was so sudden; I didn't have time to think. The ground trembled under us and a star overhead, one of the brightest ones I could see, slowly flickered out into nothingness. My paws shook until the ground stopped and everything seemed to settle. I glanced to the sky again, but the star was still gone.
The starry she-cat looked over my shoulder at something that I spun around quickly to see. A frail, wiry gray she-cat with eyes so bright, it was impossible. A screech clawed at my throat as I realized who was watching us and again tears threatened to spill. "Frailwhisker," I whimpered as tears fell from my eyes. Agony clawed at my heart as I realized what had happened, yet all I could do was cry.
Frailwhisker stared at me with no longer blind eyes and smiled. "I knew you would be here, little one, I knew it since this she-cat appeared many moons ago." Her voice was strong and powerful, not like the voice the elder I had known used. She was younger, beautiful and her name no longer fit her. Slowly, she padded towards us and paused a fox-length from me.
It was then that she realized I was crying. She let out a purr of amusement as she bent her head and ran her tongue over my cheeks to catch my tears. "Don't cry, Mistpaw, we both knew this day would come eventually," she mewed softly, her now bright eyes meeting my own. She pressed her muzzle against my own in a comforting manner before turning to greet the starry she-cat. "It's been a long time since I last saw you face to face, eh, Miststar?"
Miststar? I looked to the starry she-cat in shock; this cat was the former leader of ShadowClan, the cat that my father had succeeded? Miststar smiled at me, her eyes shining brightly as though Silverpelt was reflecting in them. This was the cat whose name I was given.
"I was about to tell this apprentice my name, you know? Thanks for spoiling the surprise, Frailwhisker," Miststar muttered jokingly, her tail tip flicking. Frailwhisker snorted before touching muzzles with her former leader. "Still acting as kit-like as ever, eh, Miststar?" Frailwhisker retorted. Despite their harsh comments, I could tell the two cared for each other.
I watched them before trying to swallow the knot that had formed in my throat. "Does this mean that you are making your journey to StarClan, Frailwhisker?" I asked quietly. She turned to look at me before nodding sadly. "Nightfeather and Sandpelt are going to miss you a lot, so are Featherstar and Firewhisker and Hollypetal and… and…" I choked as a sob escaped my mouth. Frailwhisker appeared at my side and pulled me close with her tail, pressing her now lean pelt against my own. "And me! I'll miss you so much, Frailwhisker," I sobbed into her fur.
She chuckled into my pelt and nuzzled me until my sobs quieted then she released me. Miststar watched us quietly before nodding to Frailwhisker. The wiry she-cat stood and padded back to her former leader's side. Slowly, more cats appeared and pressed their muzzles to Frailwhisker as she began towards them; towards StarClan. One starry cat, a handsome ginger tom with dark tabby stripes, raced up to Frailwhisker and gave her a lick across her cheek which she returned whole heartedly. Was that the tom she loved? I wondered inwardly as their tails intertwined and they began through the crowd of cats.
However, Frailwhisker paused and looked back, meeting my eyes. "Mistpaw, I'm giving you a very important task, you hear? I want you to get Featherstar and Firewhisker and Hollypetal and tell them I walk in StarClan now. Do that for me; that is my final request."
When I awoke, I found tears slipping out of my eyes. I knew I hadn't been asleep long because the moon was still rising, yet the camp was asleep. I stood and carefully padded out of the den and towards the Medicine cats' den. Firewhisker and Hollypetal sat together, organizing leaves when I entered the den. Hollypetal was the first to see me and greeted me cheerfully, "Hey there, Mistpaw, what are you doing up so late?" Firewhisker turned and smiled at me and nodded in greeting.
I stared at them as memories of Frailwhisker with her friends and family that greeted her in Starlit Fields, how happy she was, how this was her last request. A power raced through my veins as I spoke, "I need to speak with you two and Featherstar. Could you get him for me?"
Firewhisker looked confused but sent his apprentice to fetch their leader nonetheless. Many heartbeats passed before Hollypetal returned with a half-awoken Featherstar trailing behind her. "What is going on, Firewhisker? Why did you send for me now?" It was then that he noticed me sitting in the den.
"If I knew what was going on, Featherstar, I assure you I would have told you immediately," Firewhisker promised. He looked to me before continuing. "But I'm not the one who called for you; Mistpaw was."
All signs of sleep left Featherstar's eyes and he looked to me in confusion. "Has something happened? What is wrong, Mistpaw?"
They watched me quietly, but all questioning and running different scenarios over in their heads. But they wouldn't think of this. "I had a dream." Not the best way to begin, but it caught their attention. "It was from StarClan and…" I paused to swallow the knot that had once again formed in my throat. "And I saw a she-cat there. She asked me to tell all three of you something very important." Firewhisker and Hollypetal stared at me as though I was a cat with two tails while Featherstar kept his face neutral as best he could.
"The cat was…" I glanced at them and knew instantly that they weren't ready. "But they have to know," a soft mew whispered in my ear. I would know that voice anywhere. "Put me to rest, Mistpaw," Frailwhisker mewed, pressing her starry fur against me. I took a deep breath and held my head high, this was an honor. "The cat was Frailwhisker."
Hollypetal sobbed not a heartbeat after I spoke the StarClan warrior's name. Firewhisker's eyes were wide with grief for his former mentor. Featherstar just stared in shock and was silent. I watched them before continuing. "She wanted me to tell you all that she walks in the stars now with her ancestors and to not grieve for her for she has lived her life just as she wished it to be. She was smiling as she crossed into StarClan and was greeted by her friends and family who have waited there for her.
"I believe she wants us to smile when we sit vigil for her." My own voice had creaked as I spoke and tears streamed down my cheeks. Frailwhisker's spirit smiled down at me before moving around our makeshift circle and touching muzzles with every cat she had asked me to gather for her. Firewhisker and Hollypetal burst into tears when she touched muzzles with them while Featherstar looked up towards Silverpelt as Frailwhisker touched muzzles with him.
"Thank you Mistpaw, thank you for helping me to rest in peace," she whispered as she faded into nothing but a memory.
God that ending! I cried while I wrote this, but I think Frailwhisker deserved to die peacefully in her sleep. This chapter is dedicated to my neighbor Cindy and her cat Bailey who sadly died in her sleep while I was cat sitting her. I saw Bailey in Frailwhisker and I believe this was how she wanted up to feel about her death; she would have wanted us to celebrate her life rather than mourn her death. RIP Bailey.
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Ouka-noir