Sailing Across River Styx
"Loving a baby is a circular business, a kind of feedback loop. The more you give, the more you get and the more you get, the more you feel like giving."
―Penelope Leach
Part One: Baby Days
Chapter One: Developing Your Big Brother Complex
Disclaimer: Insert second witty I-do-not-own-Naruto disclaimer 'here'.
"Ah!"
Bright blue eyes peered down at me and a little finger poked my cheek. I giggled softly.
"Miho-chan, are you hungry?"
Gurgling in slight annoyance, I reached up to take hold of some blonde hair before I started to tug it.
"Hey, hey! I get it! Stop it Miho-chan!"
One would think that this had been said in annoyance; however, the tone was anything but. My victim sounded as if he was holding in chuckles.
And that conversation basically summed up my life. In my new (and I guessed permanent) home, it hadn't taken me long before I realized something.
Minato was a terrific, amazing brother.
'Nuff said.
…Okay, Okay. Yes, I get it. I'll elaborate. Please stop throwing your pitchforks and rotten vegetables at me.
When I was first put into his care, Minato had been slightly clumsy and very much afraid. It had almost been surprising to me with how uncharacteristic his fumbling had been. I had remembered Minato to be the amazing Fourth Hokage, not someone who seemed to be worried about accidentally squishing a little baby.
Really. I am not lying. I swear Minato spent a whole week mentally preparing himself before he dredged up enough courage to hold me again.
(Had his first attempt really been that bad? I mean, sure, he almost dropped me when I finally responded, but he did manage to catch me before I hit the ground...)
Fortunately, despite all his apparent first misgivings, Minato rapidly adapted to his role of being my caretaker. He was truly prodigious, and not only in ninja terms ―and no, I am not being biased.
…Even if Minato had been one of my favorite characters in Naruto.
He quickly found out that I liked warm milk ―heated until it was precisely at 37°C― rather than anything at room temperature.
He found out that I couldn't stand being dirty, and that if I thought I needed a new change of diapers, then it meant that I needed a change of diapers now or else (and ew. Not being able to control your own bladder was both humiliating and yucky).
He found out that I loved it when he picked me up and held me close, and that I had a growing habit of tugging his hair.
Despite all of this, I believe that I was not a fussy child. Or anything close to it. I rarely cried, I never really woke Minato up during the night ―the poor guy needed his sleep; even caring for an obedient baby was tiring― and I was always giving people around me a cheerful, toothless smile.
To the eyes of others, I was a happy child.
"Give me a few minutes, okay Miho-chan? I'll get you something to eat." I giggled again in agreement and I felt Minato set me down lightly (after gently detaching my chubby fingers from his hair), presumably so he could head over to the kitchen.
Geez. Bless Minato's heart. Did I mention that he's the perfect brother yet? He was always there for me, and seemed to magically know whenever I needed something.
Was this ability called the fearsome 'mom-instincts'? Were those actually developable and not genetic?
…Well, being waited on hand and foot by the Fourth Hokage was ego-boosting, if nothing else.
Anyway, to me, time passed both slowly and quickly. Sometimes everything would seem agonizing slow, since I was frankly only a baby who could only do things like cry, eat, and poop. Other times, time seemed to move super fast. In fact, I've already lost count of how many naps I could take during a day.
I was both grateful and annoyed at this. Annoyed that I couldn't do anything, of course, but grateful since I was finally clear-headed enough to sort through my thoughts and memories.
And nooooow we've reached my main problem. Yes, I could remember most of what had happened in the show Naruto. On the other hand, lo and behold: most of my own memories were still non-existent.
However, that was not entirely true as well. It seemed that although my brain was completely wiped, whoever sent me here couldn't wipe the feelings in my heart.
It was the little things at first that cemented this idea. I would just have to think of something pertaining to myself, before I would start to feel something. The feeling of rightness when I found out I was a girl here is a prime example.
I also found out that I had most likely wanted an older brother in my past life. That revelation had actually resulted from me repeating the words 'Minato is my older brother' in my head a few times when I finally digested Minato's statement (and god, hadn't that statement been a shocker?).
A soft, warm, and fuzzy feeling appeared in my chest. I had felt slightly encouraged. Applying my knowledge that I obtained from finding out my gender, I began to think of some sentences in my head.
'I have an older brother.' My heart lurched. I mentally frowned. I didn't feel either rightness or any wrongness with that one. Maybe it was because I got it half wrong or half right?
I tried again.
'I have a younger brother.' My heart dropped. Okay, that was dread. I probably didn't have one or dreaded to have one.
Geez, third time's the charm, right?
'I'm an only child.' And there's the roaring applause! Yesss. The sense of rightness! So, I was an only child in my past life.
If that was the case, what did I feel when I thought about having an older brother?
I scrunched up my face and repeated that sentence, carefully analyzing the feeling of my heart lurching. It wasn't dread, no. It felt nothing like dread…In fact, it felt like the opposite of dread. But it wasn't happiness either…
The opposite of dread…I dreaded to have a little brother…
Of course.
Yearning! I had yearned to have a big brother in my old life. Well, if I didn't have one before then I guessed it was just a hopeless wish. After all, unless my parents went back in time (which I have to admit, the idea sounded much less far-fetched than reincarnating in a fictional show) or adopted, I wouldn't be getting an older sibling.
With that cleared up, I began to work on other things. I could remember reading some fanfictions with self-inserts (and that's what I was at the moment, right? Pfft, I remembered avoiding them like plague until I gave in and tried one before loving it, but who would have thought I'll be in one), and tried to compare my experiences with the fiction.
Most of the SI/OC fics I've read had the self-inserts be reborn with their full memory intact (I quietly ranted to the heavens. Of course real life had to be different from fiction. Ugh). On the other hand, having all your memories was proved to not always be the best case.
I could still remember that one fanfic I had read once upon a time, one that depicted someone who didn't want to make a change in the Naruto world ―despite her future knowledge― because she had wanted to return to their old world. I remembered being disappointed at the ending despite how amazing it was, and how I hoped she would come to love the Naruto world more than her own.
It didn't happen. I couldn't understand why.
But now, I guessed I could relate. Whenever I thought about the word 'parents', a fierce love would begin to burn in my heart. Even if I could not remember my parents from my past life, I could only assume that this love I had was for them. I had loved them deeply, and still did, despite my lack of memories.
If that was the case, who was to say that I wouldn't do the same thing as the girl in that self-insert and get myself killed, if only for a chance to see my parents again?
Perhaps my lack of memories in that front was to ensure that I do not do just that. After all, even though I acknowledged the fact that I loved my parents, it was just that. A fact. I did not have a burning desire to see them, since they were only faceless entities I did not even know about.
On the other hand…I knew all about the Naruto world. For me to have all my memories of the Naruto world…wouldn't that mean that whoever gave me them would like me to make a difference?
After all, they could have done the same thing they did with my memories, so that the most I would feel will be some harmless déjà vu. But no. That didn't happen.
And although I wasn't super obsessed with Naruto, I had known most of the important facts. Like, for example, how Minato did not have any sister. Minato had been an orphan.
In that case, where did I come in?
Had the character 'Namikaze Miho' died early on, in which she wasn't significant enough for the story to have any mention of her? But no, the wiki-pages for Naruto characters were rather detailed. If Minato had any known family, I was sure that they would be mentioned, dying young or not.
In that case, why was I here? To change things? Did I even want to change things? The story of Naruto had resolved quite nicely, with the world not destroyed and the main character having little kiddies…
On the other hand, could I even do anything? In this world, becoming a ninja meant everything. Especially for someone like me. That was basically the only way an orphan like me could get some power…but…
Just the thought of killing someone ―spilling blood― sent shivers down my spine…
Then again, if I don't change anything, wouldn't Minato die?
… …
…
…Well, in any case I'll have to be old enough (and not a baby) before I can decide on something as important as this. Whether I liked it or not, I had enough time to think.
Contented with my new opinion, I nodded happily before I picked up on the sound of someone walking. It seemed as if I had made my verdict just in time. The sound of footsteps coming towards me grew louder and it wasn't long before Goldilocks appeared by my crib.
"Miho-chan." I was picked up by Minato with one hand, his other holding my milk bottle.
"Time for your milk, so open up Miho-chan!"
Obediently, I opened my mouth and Minato plopped my bottle nipple into it. He smiled cheerfully at me as I started to swallow my milk.
Oh, you caught that, huh? Yeah, I did say that I saw Minato smile. It was true; my eye sight has been improving rapidly since before. Though seeing details were still impossible, at least everything didn't look like blobs.
Minato continued to hold me, humming slightly under his breath as he did. Time was still hard to measure in this world, but with my constant feedings and how many times I saw Minato, I could make an educated guess. It had probably been roughly three weeks, give or take, since I was given to the orphanage.
I had no idea how long I've been alive before I came here, though, so I was still not certain of my age.
A hand touched my cheek, bringing me out of my musings. I looked up at my older brother, who was staring at me seriously. Likewise, I immediately paused in drinking milk (I was almost finished anyway) and instead gave my brother my full attention.
"Miho-chan, I'll be going back to the ninja academy next week." Minato began, taking away my mostly empty bottle.
I blinked.
Eh? Ninja academy? Well, I guess that's normal in the world of Naruto. I had been wondering why he had been the one taking care of me these past weeks…
"It was pure luck that you appeared at the start of my Winter Break, but that ends next week." Minato sighed lightly before smiling.
"I'll have to go to classes so the others will take care of you, but I promise it'll only be for a short time! I'm slated to graduate soon."
I blinked again at the information before giving my brother the baby's equivalent of a cheer: loud babbling. He laughed at my enthusiasm and gave me a cuddle, holding me tight. Sensing another shift in the mood, I let my babbles die down into silence.
It had been a few minutes later (I was starting to feel sleepy in the silence) when Minato spoke up again.
"Hey Miho-chan," he began to whisper, "You know, today's my tenth birthday."
Mental yawn. Ah, that's good to know. Happy birthday Minato.
…
Wait…
I snapped wide awake, blood pumping in adrenaline. Yes! Minato just spoon-fed me some much needed data. I've finally got a sense of where I was in the Naruto timeline.
Minato was now ten years old (I should have made the connection when he said he'll graduate soon…didn't he graduate at age ten?). If I recalled correctly, he was around twenty-four when he died sealing the Nine-Tailed Fox. This meant that we were roughly fourteen years before Naruto was born, and approximately twenty-six years before the start of the Naruto show.
A finger tapped me on my nose, throwing me out of my revelations. Startled ―oh no, I had forgotten to react!― I mewled quietly, staring at my brother with a little smile.
Said brother sighed, before sitting down. He seemed to hesitate, and I could almost see him internally debating with himself. Finally, he began to speak to me with a gentle tone…
"Y'know…I've always wished for a family. Every single birthday…"
Oh no. My inner fangirl senses are tingling. Please don't tell me that this is the place where I start to develop a big brother complex―
"And this year, I've gotten you. It's the best birthday present I could have ever asked for."
―And, ping! 'Brother Complex, Level 1' acquired. Passive. Grows at a 1000000.0% rate.
The boy trailed off, before he patted my cheek. For me, however, I could only stare in awe at his clear and blue emotional eyes. He seemed so, so sincerely happy, and, I, just, well―
There was just so much love in his eyes. I mean, I've always known that they boy had liked me. I was his only family, and with how much he had loved his son and wife in the show, I knew that he would like me too. But knowing this didn't really make me understand it. I mean, I was just a baby. It's only been three weeks! How can someone's love grow to this amount in just three weeks?
…Aw shucks. There were tears prickling my eyes now. I know I've said this a thousand times already, but Minato is literally the best brother I could have ever asked for.
Since I couldn't actually tell him that, I reached out with a chubby hand and lightly touched my brother's cheek, giggling happily all the way.
The sound of my brother's laughter was music to my ears.
(A few minutes later: "Ah, I almost forgot to make you burp!")
"Minato-kun! Don't forget your bento box!" Hōki yelled while rocking me gently.
It seemed that my brother wasn't very much of a morning person, ninja genius aside. I found it to be slightly hilarious, though I've already established in the past weeks that my vision of a super amazing Fourth Hokage wasn't really the boy I got for a brother ―at least not now. Still, it didn't make his nervousness or mistakes any less funny. On the other hand, Minato getting up late wasn't completely his fault this time. I had been unusually strung up the day before (maybe it was because I realized that Minato was leaving for school, since he began packing his bag?), and couldn't fall asleep. Minato had always insisted to keep me company until I did, and, well, I've already mentioned his growing 'mom-instincts'.
Just pretending to sleep doesn't trick him at all. I don't know if I should start worrying about my freedom as a teenager, when I get there in a decade…
"Oh right!"
Immediately, there was a distinct pause in my brother's running before it started up again, this time in our direction. Seconds later and a blond blur rushed pass us to the kitchen table, the place where a bento box sat innocently.
Wow. Fourth Hokage he may not be, but Yellow Flash indeed.
Grabbing his lunch, Minato bounced over to me. Although he said that he hadn't wanted to leave me, it was clear that he was excited to go back to school. I didn't blame him.
Spending so much time with a baby, even if she was your newly discovered family, had to be pretty boring. I was already surprised at the level of consistent care Minato provided me with. Really, though I had tried to be good, I swear the boy had the patience of a saint! He was only ten, for crying out loud. I doubt I was that responsible at age ten. Or age twenty (if I got that old before I died)…
"Be good, Miho-chan!" My brother kissed me on my forehead and I had to suppress my inner fangirl. "I'll be back in the afternoon."
And with that, the blond blur sped out of the room. I blinked, the afterimage of yellow still imprinted in my eyelids. Okay, sure, his speed probably had nothing on his future namesake's, but really, my brother was fast. At least fast enough for my baby sight for sure.
Hōki chuckled at my dazed face and gave my nose a light squeeze, making me scrunch up my face. She looked down at me before she smiled.
"Well, now that your brother isn't here to monopolize you, how about we go around and meet the other kids living here, hmm, Miho-chan?"
"…Muah?" I asked with confusion. Ah, that's right…In all the time I've been at the orphanage, I haven't seen any other kids. Sure, I've heard them (those maggots were noisy), but I've never met a single one. I did think it was a bit odd, but quickly forgot about it with how Minato kept me all pampered and entertained.
Hōki nodded resolutely to my question and began walking. A few moments later, she paused in front of a room (that was filled with screaming and happy shrieking ―I felt some cold sweat gather at the back of my neck) before walking inside.
The sound died down instantly before starting up again, this time even louder than before. I internally wept for my poor ears.
"Hōki-san!"
"Hōki-kaa-san!"
"Kaa-san!"
Cries of 'Hōki' and 'mother' simultaneously filled the air. It made sense though; Hōki seemed to be the head of the orphanage here. And she was really kind. I wouldn't doubt it if she let the poor orphans address her as mother. Minato didn't though…maybe he had been old enough when he was accepted into the orphanage? Old enough to remember his ―our― parents?
"Hōki-san, who's that?"
A polite and small voice spoke up in the midst of all the noise. Really, with everyone shouting and screaming like a banshee it was a miracle that we heard it. However, once the words were said, everyone stopped talking, probably because they finally noticed me.
Cue the bewildered pause.
Hōki hummed. "Everyone, meet our newest friend. This is Minato-kun's little sister, Miho-chan."
And voilà. The place erupted with noise again. I held in a whimper as I became the center of attention, manfully withstanding all the coos from toddlers that were mentally younger then myself.
Oh the agony.
A few minutes later (it felt like eternity ―thank god that kids have short attention spans), all the kids gradually stopped fussing over me and went back to whatever they were doing before Hōki brought me to see them. I was super relieved.
"Minato-san has a little sister?"
Well, almost all of them went back to play.
The soft voice who had first noticed me spoke up again. Judging by how loud it was, I was surprised to realize that the child was probably right beside Hōki and me right now.
And since I managed to hear the voice loud and clear this time, I realized that it had been a girl speaking. Huh. Even though all toddlers had high voices, only girls had that slight melodic tint to it. It was a different timbre.
Hōki nodded. "Yes, Nonō-chan. We found her a month ago. She's really small so we didn't want to take her out right away."
I was shifted slightly and suddenly, there was a new face in front of me. It was a little girl, and she looked around six or seven years old. She had lovely brownish orange hair that framed her cute and chubby face. A set of round glasses sat on her perky nose.
I decided to play the role of a baby and giggled slightly, reaching for her. She watched me with her round, green eyes.
"Wow, she's really…small! Are you sure she got bigger?"
Hōki laughed at the words as I inwardly bristled. I was a baby. A. Baby. Of course I'll look small, even to a six year old!
"Why don't you introduce yourself, Nonō-chan?" Hōki said with a smile, once she stopped laughing at me and my apparent lack of height. Nonō blinked, before smiling a cute (super cute ―she was missing one of her front teeth! Awww) smile.
"Hello Miho-chan! My name is Yakushi Nonō. It's nice to meet you!"
The girl offered me her hand and I curled my tiny fingers around one of her own. She giggled.
On the other hand, though I was seemingly happy at the attention I was getting (well, Nonō was sweet and cute, not like the rowdy kids from before! I'm totally justified!), my mind was actually going into overdrive.
Why? Well…
I was certain I've heard that name before. Especially her last name.
…'Yakushi'…
Was she in canon? I couldn't really recall her though, so perhaps she was a minor character? Or maybe she was the mother or relative of one of the characters? That sounded about right; she would be in her thirties when Naruto would be born.
On the other hand, I wasn't super interested in the series. I only paid a lot of attention to my favorite characters. Even then, I couldn't recall their whole backstory. I could only remember some important facts and dates.
Maybe that was why I couldn't recall her…
I tried to ignore my unease as I spent the rest of my morning with the cheerful and kind girl. And after a while, it became easier. My discomfort faded away when I realized how kind and friendly the girl was. Hōki-san stayed with us the entire time, apparently not trusting a baby to a six-year old (however, she trusts Minato? Then again, Minato was awesome).
The girl spent our time by telling me some of her favorite stories. It was enlightening, though there were a few times where I didn't understand some words. Understandable though. After all, any Japanese I knew were derived from approximately 3 years of watching anime, before I had switched to reading manga. On the other hand, it was interesting to see that many stories from my world were in Naruto too, even if they were slightly altered.
For example, Nonō started us off with 'The Sleeping Kunoichi'. Then we moved onto the story of 'Kage Arthur and his Shinobi of the Round Table'. And finally, who could forget the lovable story of 'The Little Red Riding Shinobi'?
Despite my anxieties that sprouted from first meeting Nonō, I had a blast. She was kind and mature, almost like Minato. I wasn't lonely even though my brother was away from home.
After my milky lunch, I was put to bed for a nap that would last until Minato came home. I usually don't sleep for long, but the morning had been tiring and I had woken up extra early to see my brother off.
I didn't think about Nonō's last name for many years to come.
Soft voices drifted into my ears. I cowered back into my blankets, mind too muddled and tired to attempt to wake up.
"Ah, she's still sleeping? I thought I told you that her naps start after lunch."
The tone was slightly reproachful, almost like a wronged mother's.
"She did go to sleep after lunch. I guess I tired her out by introducing her to the other kids…Ah, don't look at me like that, Minato-kun. She's still in one piece, right?"
A familiar hand caressed my cheek. I snuggled into it, gripping it with my hands. My captive whimpered and someone laughed at his distress.
"Ah…I still have homework left…but I guess it can wait."
Rustles, and then a light press on my forehead. I mewled quietly. Someone had kissed me with a quiet whisper.
"I love you, Miho."
I fell back asleep with a new goal in my heart.
"Did I even want to change things?"
"If I recalled correctly, he was around twenty-four when he died sealing the Nine-Tailed Fox."
"…roughly fourteen years before Naruto was born…"
Screw thinking things over.
Naruto rushed into things with his bulldozing determination, and it always worked for him. Who's to say that I can't do the same thing?
I've made my decision.
Minato-niisan, my big brother, was mine. My big brother. I loved him ―there, I admitted it― and he was my only family.
I wouldn't let anyone take him away before his time was up. Not even if it was Death or the Shinigami himself.
Fourteen years for me to change the future ―Minato's future― and make a difference.
A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed, favorited, and followed this! I appreciate it~ However, I'm mostly a review hogger, so please review! I like to hear your thoughts on this story; I take them into consideration. Really, I plan literally every chapter at a time, so things may change. Thank you!
Fun Facts!
Hōki-san is a member of the Hōki family. They are a matrilineal clan of medical ninja that originated from Suna and moved to Konoha. This is actually canon; check the Naruto wiki.
So far, Miho and the unnamed people are the only non-canon characters.
The SI story Miho was talking about is called Dragonfly, by Kettobase. A lovely story, please go check it out!