Sailing Across River Styx

"Babies are such a nice way to start people."

―Dan Herold

Part One: Baby Days

Chapter Three: Blackmail For Future Reference

Disclaimer: Insert yet another witty I-do-not-own-Naruto disclaimer 'here'.

Beta'd by: the fantastic, amazing Midnight Phantasma

"Ah, Miho-chan, you've got dirt all over your dress again." Gentle, chubby hands picked me up while simultaneously trying to pat the soil off my clothes. The owner of them sounded slightly reproachful. "Your brother will freak out."

The team dynamics of Team Jiraiya were one I had never seen before. And I guessed that would be a good thing, because their team dynamics were terrible. Jiraiya, like future-Kakashi, kept his head in his porn every single day. Except, unlike Kakashi who had just read the porn, Jiraiya spent his days trying to write it. Every now and then, the white-haired man would throw out a few sexual innuendoes before writing them down with glee (thankfully, this had abated a bit because of my brother, who had directed an extremely frosty smile at his teacher when I had been within earshot).

"Muahhh…" I pouted slightly, eager to go back to the bushes where I could spy on Minato. Chou, my gentle capturer, huffed out a small laugh.

Akimichi Chou was kind and gentle. He would be the one to patiently follow me as I crawled away. He was the one who held Fugaku back from yelling at their teacher. He was everything that a ninja, trained to kill, shouldn't be. In fact, I had heard both Minato and Fugaku discussing worriedly (or, in Fugaku's case, in slight concern) about how Chou did not like to draw blood, even if it was that of an enemy. Heck, he didn't like to hurt or fight at all (I briefly wondered why the hell he'd chosen to be a ninja as his career). And worst of all, that 'weakness' of Chou's couldn't even be compensated by his skills. Chou's abilities as a ninja, while slightly above average and certainly nowhere near dead-last material, still left much to be desired.

On the other hand, Fugaku was snarky and broody, the shining example of a specimen from the deadly Uchiha Clan. He scoffed at the training exercises he was given. He showed clear dislike for his eccentric teacher and his hobbies. The closest to a smile we could ever get from him was a smirk. After all, he was brought up by his clan to never feel inferior (and thus, was bossy as well). Fortunately, the stubborn boy was strong, to make up for all his faults. Fugaku was easily low-chuunin level.

And then there was my brother. Honestly, while Chou fit into the character of a less shyer Hinata, and Fugaku was like the spitting image of Sasuke (not physically, of course, I don't think Sasuke would be caught dead in his father's clothes), my brother wasn't like anyone else. Minato was nice and distressingly polite. He was often absentminded when he was with his team, his face always stuffed in one scroll or another. He was the only one on Team Jiraiya who never succumbed to face-palming at Jiraiya's actions. Like Fugaku, my brother was strong, although he didn't have a clan to back him up. That didn't seem to deter him though, with how Minato was the Rookie of the Year, despite being a year younger than the other graduates.

However, though they clearly had individual faults, Team Jiraiya melded together to form a spectacular team. This team, so reminiscent of Naruto's precious Team 7, was not like their sink or float team (and sink they did). Despite Fugaku's habit of sometimes questioning or disobeying Jiraiya's orders ("Hey! Brats, as my subordinates, help me escape from those girls chasing me!") and his own bossy nature, Fugaku listened to Minato with no complaints. Chou, despite his reluctance to hurt, did so without a second thought under either his sensei's or Minato's order. For my brother's part, he actually pulled his head out of the clouds (or in this case, his scrolls) to throw out strategies and plans that even had the smart Fugaku gazing at him with slight admiration.

I could only watch in amazement as Team Jiraiya completed any team exercise with ease. My brother's Genin team ran like a well-oiled machine.

Wiggling with a bit more fervor and slapping a pout on my face, Chou finally relented and released me. He smiled again at my happy squeal. "Try and stay out here, okay Miho-chan? Your brother's doing something very difficult and he might become distracted if he sees you."

I giggled again, internally disappointed that I wouldn't be able to spy on Minato doing his leaf chakra exercise. It was both enlightening and funny watching my brother attempt to stick some leaves onto himself via chakra.

Chou smiled again and left after he gave me a pat on my head. Fugaku stood nearby, seemingly baffled that they paused in sparring just to retrieve me from my place under the bush, but nonetheless took a starting kata stance as he waited for Chou to do the same. I watched them begin their spar with an apathetic gaze.

Well, watching Team Jiraiya spar had been interesting in the beginning. I mean, ninja! Fighting! Seeing it live! But after hours of the same exercise, I was horrified to realize that even Minato's fights were starting to lose their appeal. Sure, they were good Genin, but they were still Genin, and only their second week at that.

Which is why, as I watched spar number something-plus-many-zeros, I felt completely and utterly bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. As much as I loved spending time with Minato, being with sweet Nonō had been much more interesting!

I let my gaze wonder. Even as a baby, I had never been so bored. I couldn't even sleep it off; the noises of kunai thudding against the ground were enough to drench me in cold sweat. At least I could sympathize with Chou.

Finally, my eyes settled on the bushes the marked the entrance to Training Ground Seven. I bit my lip. Jiraiya was supposed to be babysitting me, but he was probably off somewhere (i.e. the bathhouse) ogling at girls. My brother was absorbed in his training. His teammates were sparring.

If I wanted to, I could probably make a clean getaway.

… I tried to push away the guilt that resulted from the thought of making Minato worried. I was so bored, and the plan of a little adventure was like music to my ears.

So, after ensuring that both Genin were rather absorbed in their sparring, I started to crawl towards the bushes that would bring me to my freedom. Of course, it was a very subtle and slow work. I moved a bit every now and then, pretending to chase after that pretty butterfly or to get a closer look at the unique flower. But eventually, I made my way to the bushes. Taking a peek at Fugaku and Chou, who were still sparring, I inconspicuously crawled into the bushes and out onto the other side.

Ahhh! Freedom!

I wasn't too worried about getting lost; although my sense of direction was practically slim to none, Minato had brought me to his team's training ground five consecutive times! Even a dunce like me would be able to find my way back. Therefore, worries abated and curiosity rearing its ugly head, I threw all caution to the wind and decided to start crawling my way to my own adventure.

I didn't get far.

Bumping face-first into some feet I swear hadn't been there a few seconds ago, I let out a soft whimper as I recoiled and clutched my nose. Looking past my hands that were covering half my face, I glanced upwards and almost choked on my own saliva. Whoever I might have been expecting, it wasn't them.

A Jounin with spiky silver hair stood there, frozen in surprise. That wasn't all, though. In his arms was a chibi-fied version of him, complete with his silver hair and wide, coal eyes.

I closed my eyes and counted backwards from five. When I was sure I wouldn't start to squeal in a totally creepy and fangirling way (and wouldn't that be weird for a baby to do?), I reopened my eyes to give the silver duo a rather baleful glance.

It seemed to break whatever spell that had been casted over us. Chibi Kakashi ―in the flesh, ohmygod I need to breathe― looked away while his father, Sakumo, gave a startled laugh. The Jounin gave me a onceover, taking in the cute toad onesie Jiraiya had given me before crouching down to my level.

"Hey there, little fella," Sakumo murmured softly, "Where are your guardians?"

I cocked my head to the left, eyes still glued to baby Kakashi who apparently didn't deign me as someone worth looking at. That's right; I was ten years younger than Minato. Hadn't Kakashi been ten years younger than my brother too? (I prayed that I was younger than him, my self-esteem would take a serious blow if I was older than a guy with gray hair…)

Unable to control my urges any longer, I reached my hand out to the other baby. Sakumo tensed, but did not move away as I poked Kakashi's cheek before giggling. The silver-haired genius finally turned his annoyed eyes back onto me. I giggled again.

"Miho!"

Jumping up in startled guilt, I glanced back to the entrance of the training ground just in time to see Minato racing out, his face pinched with worry. Both his teammates followed after, appearing rather sheepish and concerned as well.

"Minato-kun?" Sakumo blinked in surprise. I did too, because I did not know my brother already knew the White Fang.

Minato scooped me up before blinking up at the Jounin and immediately bowing. "Hatake-san! Thank you for finding my little sister."

If anything, Sakumo looked even more surprised. "You have a sister?"

Chou's and Fugaku's expressions morphed from guilt into astonishment as well. Fugaku gave my brother a significant glance, clearly demanding an explanation of his connection to the illustrious ninja.

"Ah," my brother smiled at his teammates, "Hatake-san was the one who helped me enrol at the Academy. He was also my sponsor." Turning to Sakumo, Minato continued, "My sister was dropped off at the orphanage almost a year ago."

Sakumo nodded, looking thoughtful. I reached out to poke Kakashi again, but alas, my arms were too short to do it. Minato paused, his attention directed back to me as he sighed.

"I knew I shouldn't have asked Jiraiya-sensei to babysit you …"

Sakumo blinked, before his mouth dropped wide open. I giggled slightly at his scandalized face. "You got Jiraiya to babysit?"

Minato shrugged. "I don't have enough money to continuously hire Genin to babysit her, and I don't know many people who would otherwise."

The unspoken words of how Minato didn't have many people he trusted were heavily implied in his tone.

Sakumo frowned, eyes trailing contemplatively from his son towards me. He nodded. "I see."

After a quick chat between Minato and his former sponsor, Sakumo was off on his way (he had apparently been searching for Jiraiya) while Minato ushered me back into the training grounds.

I suppressed a groan in reaction to the awaiting boredom.

But truly, though I had wanted to go on an adventure that day, the surprise meeting with the Hatakes was the start of mine.

That wasn't the last time I saw Sakumo. Not in the least. In fact, he made his way back to the training ground the very next day (though a certain mini Kakashi was absent).

I observed the man, my eyes heavy with sleep.

My brother blinked. Both Chou and Fugaku seemed confused.

Jiraiya himself was the first of Team Jiraiya to recover, striding forward with a big grin on his face. "Sakumo! What brings you to my humble grounds?"

The silver-haired man snorted. "I was here at your 'humble grounds' yesterday, but you were off at your usual peeking site and I didn't want to subject my son to that sorry sight."

Jiraiya shook his head in mock sympathy. "Poor brat, having a prude for a father."

Sakumo scowled. "Hey!"

My attention wandered somewhere else after that. I couldn't help it; the novelty of seeing the Hatake had worn off, and Minato had woke me up earlier than usual that day. I was both tired and sleepy.

Despite my scrutiny to all things Minato-related, I didn't even pay attention much when Sakumo had taken Minato away for a walk. In fact, that was the last thing I remembered before I had fallen asleep for a much needed nap.

When I woke up again, it was to the sound of soft humming.

… Wait. That wasn't right. Minato only hummed when I couldn't fall asleep. I've never woken up to humming before.

Warily opening my eyes, I was greeted by the sight of a pretty woman who was pulling up the covers of my blanket.

…

Wait …

I squeaked in alarm.

Immediately, wide grey eyes turned to look at me. That was the wrong thing to do. Completely scared out of my wits, I panicked and screamed.

Please don't tell me I got kidnapped or something. I was just an orphan; the only person who would kidnap me was Danzo!

... And really, that thought did not make me feel any better!

"Ah! Oh, baby, shhh, don't cry." The lady tried to soothe me to no avail. Seconds later, with my horrified wailing still at full blast, a blur of silver rushed into the room.

"Hey! Miho-chan, don't be upset." I blinked, halfway through a sob as I looked up at a clearly flustered Sakumo. "We met yesterday, you remember me, right?"

Strong arms scooped me up and began to rock me awkwardly. I let my sob die down as my mind whirled in confusion. Sakumo ―the White Fang wouldn't kidnap me, right?

"I talked with Minato earlier this morning. He was still looking for a babysitter for you and I offered. You're around the age of my Kakashi and I thought you would be great playmates …" Sakumo babbled on nervously, even as the pretty lady ―maybe his wife?― looked on worriedly.

I blinked.

Huh.

… Wait.

Was the man saying that he was going to babysit me? The White Fang himself was going to babysit me? What?

Sakumo stopped rambling when he realized I had stopped crying (from the shock, the White Fang, my babysitter?). Offering me a nervous smile, he gave me to the pretty lady, who gently wiped away my tears.

"…Dada? Mama?"

I blinked at the childish voice and craned my head to see baby Kakashi sitting smack dab in the middle of the doorway.

The pretty lady placed me back onto the bed before walking over and picking the baby boy up. "Oh, sorry about that Kaka-chan. Did we wake you up?"

The boy nodded, his sleepy eyes zeroing on me. Trying to gather the broken pieces of my dignity, I gave him a wave and a smile.

Sakumo picked me up and walked over to him. "Kakashi, you got a new playmate! Little Miho-chan's going to stay with us during the day now, and occasionally during the nights."

Kakashi eyed at me for a few seconds, before he perhaps recognized me as the baby from the day before. He turned his head away. I giggled at his snobbish behavior. The pretty lady ―I mean, Kakashi's mother― cooed.

And that, my fellow ninja, was the start of a beautiful friendship.

.

.

.

(cough, please notice the use of heavy sarcasm…)

"Muu~" I whined softly as I crawled after Kakashi. The baby slowed down slightly and gave me a glare.

"Go," he said, pointing at the thing we were chasing; a pretty butterfly.

I pouted again and got ready to follow, even though I was cracking up on the inside. Who knew that cold, apathetic, genius Kakashi once liked to chase butterflies?

Well, I didn't. And truth to be told, I have learned so much more about our favorite scarecrow in the month I've been with him than when I watched the anime. The thought almost made me giddy with happiness.

I mean, oh gosh, the possibilities with all the blackmail I've got over the boy… With how baby Kakashi had initially treated me, I was so ready to turn Kakashi into my henchman in five or so years.

Luckily for me, the baby had finally grown used to my presence. Now, though he would still throw me irritated glares from time to time (I never knew a baby could glare that much), he no longer pretended that I was invisible and not there.

At least I wasn't mentally a baby. Or else I would have definitely been upset. As it is now, the glares the little Hatake gives me make me squeal more than they scare me.

Suddenly, someone before me scooped up Kakashi. Alarmed, I looked up only to blink at the sight of Tsunade and Sakumo.

"Hey there, squirt," the busty medic greeted Kakashi. Glancing down, she blinked in surprise as she took note of me as well. "Oh, and if it isn't the little Namikaze as well."

I happily cooed in response as Sakumo picked me up so I could be on the same level as the baby Hatake. Sakumo grinned.

"I offered to be her babysitter," the White Fang explained. Tsunade snorted.

"Jiraiya's brat actually agreed? Jiraiya keeps lamenting about how the baby girl's got his genius student wrapped around her finger." The medic tightened her hold on Kakashi when the annoyed baby tried to wriggle his way out of her grasp and gave Kakashi a mock glare.

"Well, he was going to start missions soon, you know? He really needed a babysitter and I know Minato-kun pretty well." Sakumo tickled my stomach and smiled when I giggled.

Tsunade appeared thoughtful. "You were his sponsor, weren't you?" Sakumo blinked.

"I was. Minato-kun had started the academy late, but he showed an aptitude for it that not many people could ever obtain. Since I was one of the only ninja he knew, he came to me and asked me to sponsor him. It was obvious he could handle it."

Tsunade hummed in agreement as she set down Kakashi who crawled over to his dad's feet. Sakumo took that as a cue to put me down as well, and both adults walked away to continue their conversation. I giggled slightly at the other baby's put-off and aggravated appearance. After all, we had long lost the butterfly.

Still, listening to the conversation between Tsunade and Sakumo was worth losing a butterfly. It brought up many questions that I had briefly wondered about before. Like, what or who was a sponsor? What did Sakumo mean when he said he had sponsored my brother? Did he mean financially or something?

"…Mi?" I blinked out of my daze when something poked my arm. Turning, I found myself face to face with an inquisitive Kakashi.

I mentally paused and rethought that sentence. How can a baby even be inquisitive…?

"Ka," I said, giving him a smile that basically told him I was fine. After enduring a searching look from the Hatake, the baby shrugged before spotting another butterfly flitting around us. I suppressed a sigh as Kakashi immediately started to chase it.

Here we go again.

When my brother showed up to pick me up, I could not suppress a giggle at the sight of him. On the other hand, the White Fang out-right roared with laughter.

My neat-freak of a brother resembled a tree.

Literally.

His clothes and basically his whole body was covered in brown mud. Additionally, instead of his usual bright blonde hair, Minato's head was covered with green leaves.

I giggled again. My brother's blush deepened.

Releasing one last chuckled, Sakumo wiped away some tears from the corners of his eyes. "What mission was it? Finding Tora? Walking the Inuzuka dogs?"

My brother winced. "Inuzuka. Jiraiya-sensei also told us to work on our chakra control while we did the mission though."

Chakra. That was something new that was exclusively of the world of Naruto. I had been curious to know if the chakra explanation part of those SI fanfics were true. I remembered some saying how the self inserts had more awareness/better chakra control, because it had felt like a foreign entity. On the other hand, there were fanfics that depicted the other end of the spectrum, and said that you couldn't feel it because like blood; it was something that moved naturally within you. My experience… was something that combined both of those explanations?

You see, in the beginning, I wasn't aware of chakra at all. No matter how much I scrunched up my face or attempted to meditate, I could never feel this elusive life force. And after a few months, I had believed that the fanfics depicting how we couldn't feel it were true.

But then, a few months ago, Minato came home covered with leaves (he had apparently been working on the leaf chakra exercise, but, well, I didn't know that now did I?). Feeling a bit baffled, I had reached out and touched one.

It shocked me.

No, I'm not kidding. I felt as if I had gotten an electric shock. Or maybe my hand had been burned. But before my brother could even panic, the feeling had faded away.

After that, however, life as I'd known it changed. It didn't take me long to feel something inside of me, something that felt as if it were moving. It took me a great deal of time (an embarrassingly long time) to realize that the feeling slithering in me was chakra.

... Huh? What does chakra feel like?

Ahh, it's something that's hard to put into words. Like, you won't know it unless you feel it? Chakra is warm… most of the time. If you concentrate hard enough, you can feel how it flows within your body. It sometimes feels like fire burning. Other times, it feels as if it's freezing.

Chakra could be compared to spiritual blood.

But enough about the how-to's of chakra. Back to my tree, er, I mean my brother. Minato was clearly a genius. I never knew beginners could channel chakra to their hair like that…

With a steadily reddening face (Sakumo is ruthless in his teasing), Minato bowed and thanked the Hatake senior for taking care of me. Sakumo, finally easing off the jokes, offered and helped put me in my stroller (seeing as my brother was filthy).

I laughed at him a lot that day.

To this day, my poor brother still doesn't know why a leafy tree can set me off into guffaws.

It had been a totally normal day when my baby companion decided he wanted to grow up.

I had been babbling nonsense to the boy (I think by now he had acquired the ability to tune me out) when suddenly, Kakashi grabbed the couch. I blinked and paused in my rambling, bewildered.

Kakashi didn't even notice when I stopped talking.

It was only when I watched Hatake Junior try and pull himself up, did things start to click. First, I gaped at the sight, which lost me a few precious seconds and gave Kakashi enough time to pull himself to his feet. Knowing my duty, I turned around and ignoring the slight guilt, threw my rubber ball at Sakumo's face.

He yelped, flailing slightly before looking down and freezing at the sight of his son standing up. Uhuh. I smiled cheerfully. The guy could thank me later.

Holding my breath, I watched with wide eyes as Kakashi let go of the couch and took an unsteady step forward. And then another. The toddler took one last step (hey, third time's the charm, right?) before his knees gave out on him and he was scooped up by a whooping and totally ecstatic Sakumo.

I added my squeal into the commotion. After all, that had been super cute.

Later, after Sakumo had paraded Kakashi throughout the house twice, the baby-turning-toddler was finally released back to me. Unable to help myself at the sight of the ruffled, obnoxiously cute and blushing baby, I cooed softly and attempted to pinch Kakashi's cheek.

… Keyward: attempted.

Unfortunately for me, I overestimated my body's ability to balance itself and instead of leaning over slightly, I flailed and fell onto Kakashi. Feeling slight déjà vu (didn't this happen to Naruto and Sasuke at the beginning of the show…?), I quickly turned my face.

Smart choice. Instead of kissing my playmate straight on, it only resulted in Kakashi kissing my cheek. On the other hand, the squeal of Kakashi's mother at the sight and the flash of a camera had me internally face-palming.

Here's to hoping my brother never, ever sees that picture.

(Kakashi is a lucky guy, since he's only like, what, a year old? He had no idea what 'kissing' even was, and so was not embarrassed at all.

On the other hand, I could not stop blushing for the rest of the hour.)

A/N: Aha, this chapter turned out more like a filler chapter, although I can assure you that meeting the Hatakes is rather you to all the reviewers, favoriters, and followers! You guys are awesome! Please continue to review and give me suggestion. I've already taken the ones I've gotten into consideration. One more chapter of Part 1 and we'll be in Part 2!

Oh, before I forget, give a big round of applause to my new Beta, Midnight Phantasma! She graciously agreed to help me with this SI story. So far, this chapter and chapter one are beta'd.

Guest Review Reply:

cherryleaf92: 'proofing'? Do you mean 'poofing'? Hmm, I don't think Miho has the ability to magically poof things into existence. But thank you for the reminder on teething! I'll try and include it in the next chapter.

Fun Facts:

The fluff at the end was there for that: fluff. Since Miho is a baby and all; fluff is inevitable. This fic is going to stay Gen until Miho's much older.

Sponsors are the ninjas who sponsor a kid so they could fast-track. Although entrance fees for orphans are covered by the Hokage, if you want to move up a grade you must wow a ninja and get them to take responsibility. Being sponsored is a huge thing: if the kid does bad then that hurts the reputation of the sponsor. This is why when news got out that the White Fang actually sponsored someone, Minato was treated like a genius. Didn't help that he was awesome.