Disclaimer: I do not own Political Animals

TJ was asleep and it was the best night of sleep he got in a long time. No dreams of Sean that could bring up any unpleasant memories. And it had nothing to do with the fact that two hours ago he went to sleep higher than a kite. He was woken up by Anne knocking on the door.

"Hey TJ you awake ?" Anne asked through the door.

"Yeah. Its open." TJ groaned rolling over and looking at the door groggily.

"How are you feeling?" Anne asked opening the door and sitting on the bed.

"Fine." TJ replied sitting up.

"Do you want to go shopping with me? Doug had to work so your mom recommended you."

"Hmmm, yeah just let me get dressed I'll be down in twenty minutes."

TJ slid on a pair of jeans and a grey shirt before pouring another bump and snorting it and grabbing his jacket feeling the high enter his system he shook his head to help him wake up.

"Ready to go?" Anne said smiling.

TJ nodded and followed Anne to the car.

(I've been really busy. I am so sorry)

They drove in relative silence with only Anne's radio playing in silence,"Okay first, I need to pick up a dress for your mom's dinner party." Anne said tugging TJ around the mall,"You know you're a lot easier to shop with than Doug."

"Keep thinking that, I'll probably get worse as time goes on."

"Doug's bad when we get here."

"Now you know why I go shopping alone" TJ thought bitterly,'No one to tell you how to dress or how to act,"Let's go get your dress. Try blue."

TJ grimaced as Anne pulled him to the dress section.

"Are you going?"

TJ was thinking about Sean, his blue eyes and the way he smiled when he heard TJ play or the way he made TJ feel, he snapped out of his revelry when he heard Anne speak,"I'm sorry what?"

"To the dinner party, are you going?" Anne asked looking through the dresses.

"Yeah." TJ bit his lip and frowned slightly relieved that Anne wasn't paying attention.

"You will need something to wear." Anne muttered loud enough for TJ to hear while looking at a light blue satin dress.

"I just have to look halfway presentable." TJ growled irritatedly pulling out a darker blue dress and showing it to Anne putting it back after she shook his head.

"No you need something. I'm thinking a vest." TJ sighed at Anne before flicking through the dresses.

"I guess." TJ said looking the dresses with Anne.

"What do you think of this?" Anne held up a knee length dark blue dress with an a dark opaque covering the v-neck.

"Its pretty. You'd look good in it." TJ felt empty which was a common feeling since Sean ended things and dropped his head on his forearm and groaned.

"TJ are you okay?"

"Never better." TJ said forcing a charming smile onto his face which he dropped as soon as Anne looked away.

"I'm almost done here maybe we could get lunch afterward."

"Sure that's fine." TJ said smiling hoping to get out of buying a vest.

"We still have to buy your vest." Anne cut of TJ's protests,"It will be better than buying a dress and faster too."

TJ groaned and followed Anne to the men's aisle.

"I was thinking grey. What do you think?

"That's fine Anne." TJ followed Anne as she picked out a dark grey vest and pulled him to the cash register and paid.

"What do you want for lunch?" Anne asked still tugging TJ along.

"I don't care. I'm not hungry."

"If you're not hungry we could skip lunch I already ate."

"Only if you want to." TJ mumbled dismissively and tossed an arm around her,"So what's next?"

"Home, these shoes are killing me." Anne gestured down to the heels that put her at eye level with TJ.

"If they hurt you why do you wear them?" TJ already knew the answer but asked the question anyways.

"It's the price we pay for beauty TJ."

TJ rolled his eyes and as Anne noticed the stares following her and TJ,"What's that all about?"

TJ looked around and caught a few stares making them flick their gaze anywhere but the two of them,"We're a Hammond and a future Hammond. Im also gay and have a beautiful woman on my arm. Why do you think they're staring?"

One of the gazes lingered and sent TJ a flirty look that he caught and sent a suggestive head incline back as Anne pulled him away he shot the boy a look that said sorry.

"What was that about?"

TJ shrugged as Anne shook her head,"Boredom. "

"Come on your family would kill me if anything happened to you."

TJ brow creased but he followed Anne to the car and put the bag in the back seat as Anne started the car.

Anne glanced at him as TJ slid in the passenger seat,"TJ I have a question for you. Do you approve of me and Douglas?"

"Of course why wouldn't I? Did my mom say something or?" TJ trailed off. Anne was one of the two girlfriends he actually liked.

"No, I guess I just worry about being accepted."

"Trust me Doug is lucky to have you." TJ said shooting Anne a reassuring grin.

"Thank you, and don't worry you'll find someone too." Anne returned his smile before focusing on the road.

TJ frowned and sucked in a breathe,"I don't think thats gonna happen."

"Oh sure it will."

"What makes you say that?" TJ asked with a few barely there hints of self-loathing. Anyhow TJ didn't want a relationship without Sean, he felt empty hollow feeling without the ability to even talk to Sean

"i don't know," TJ rested his head on the window as Anne glanced at him her brown eyes softening, "What makes you think it won't?"

"When have I ever been that lucky?" The voice in his head venomously whispered,'You were but he hates you, he can't stand you, you disgust him.'

"Well maybe it will change." Anne said with a hint of hopefulness creeping into her voice.

"I doubt it." TJ replied,'Especially because you're still in love with him, you pathetic slut. (I might be laying on the self hatred on a little thick but artistic liberties ya know?)

"Well just because you doubt it, that doesn't mean it won't happen."

TJ swallowed and looked at Anne,"Most of the people who I've slept with have wanted to sleep with me since I was a teenager and it's never been able to go pass that."

Anne shot TJ a sympathetic look.

"Dont Im used to it, it comes with Doug being the favorite. "

"Doug's the favorite?" Anne asked with disbelief.

"Yep, you haven't heard how many times I've gotten the,'Oh TJ why did you do this, Oh TJ you'll ruin this family's reputation , Why can't you be more like Douglas he doesn't make mistakes. Oh TJ you and your dalliances have embarrassed us."

Anne raised an eyebrow, "Wow."

"Welcome to my life Anne." TJ started to bounce his leg to keep himself distracted and draw his mind off the poisonous thoughts that were spiraling around his head.

The leg bouncing caught Anna's attention,"Whats with all the nerves today?"

"Just trying to keep my mind off everything," TJ tried to shoot Anne a reassuring smile but ended up looking like it was causing him pain.

"Hey don't worry it will turn out okay."

"I wish I could believe that."

"We're here,' TJ was about to get out of the car when Anne grabbed his forearm," Hey do you wanna watch a movie together?"

"Sure," TJ didn't have the heart to tell her he wanted to be alone and scare her when she was trying so hard, so he squashed most negative feelings and pretended to be happy for Anne for the rest of the day.