A/N: This chapter immediately follows the last. Just to refresh: Sirius was talking to Stell when something happened in her apartment and she disappeared after making Sirius promise not to come to for her. This is where this chapter begins.

Sirius felt his knees collapse underneath him, his breath disappeared. The world spun around him and he felt something painfully sharp wrenching his heart from his chest. He couldn't see, couldn't think. What was happening? What…? His thoughts twisted themselves around in his mind, until he couldn't distinguish what was reality anymore.

His breath came out in sharp, painful, gasps, "Stella… Stella… Stella…"

He was halfway into the fireplace when he remembered he'd promised. But what's a promise? His mind argued forcibly, desperately, against itself. He was killing her. Every second he wasted, killing… killing…

Peter! The word popped into his mind without him knowing how it got there. In seconds he convinced himself that maybe she was ok, maybe the noise had been nothing… And yet, he knew that wasn't true, in his heart he knew. And maybe too, he knew what she had been trying to tell him. And he knew that more than one life would be lost.

He gathered his breath, his thoughts, himself, his heart, all he had. Breathe, breathe… And he was gone, swirling, faster than life, and he was at Peter's hiding place. Or what had been Peter's hiding place. The second he arrived there he knew everything was wrong, all wrong. Even wronger than he'd first thought.

Even the air shivered with wrongness. The place was in disarray. Sirius's mind was having trouble. Voldemort? Find Peter? How? How could he guess? He couldn't, it was an utter impossibility.

Had…? No. No way.

But suddenly everything fit. Yes way. Peter had done it. He'd betrayed them all. And that second Sirius knew his life was over. Over.

His fist clenched around his wand, and he realized he was pointing it at himself. No. No. He couldn't do this. He knew it was over, but he just couldn't. Not here. He wouldn't allow himself to die this way. He wasn't going to die. Not now.

There was still time! Still… No, there wasn't. He knew there wasn't time left, in his heart. In his heart, he knew. But he leapt up anyway. He couldn't think, couldn't do this. But he had to.

Before he knew it he was on the black motorbike of death. It was sick, completely inappropriate, but he found a smile on his lips. He had once taken Harry on his motorbike. He was supposed to have been babysitting his godson responsibly, but… Harry! Harry! Please let there be time!

Before he could think, he took off, the motorbike roaring into life and soaring into the darkness. The noise of it covered his pain, his thoughts.

Even though Sirius knew he was much too far to see what had been their house, he knew exactly what it looked like. He knew the second he was in the air. The glimmering green of a skull and snake shone in the darkness. The sallow light of it bit into Sirius's broken heart.

Devastation. Sirius fell to the ground and stumbled across the broken earth into the smoky ruins of what had been the home of his best friend, his brother. Now the tears came. He just couldn't do this, he couldn't.

And yet here he was. He stood in what he knew had been their bedroom. He hadn't meant to go inside. He'd only meant to see if there was still time. He'd meant to turn around and leave as soon as he saw there wasn't.

And yet here he was. He took a step forward, and fell to his knees. He vomited on what had been their nightstand. He could see, plain as day, his best friend. His brother. The one who'd saved him from a life of sadness and pain. James. In his mind's eye he could see him still, still smiling, still laughing. And Lily too.

Sirius wiped his mouth on his sleeve. They were gone. Gone, gone. Dead, and with them, Sirius's life. Dead.

But… Sirius's mind was protesting, but… Harry. But Harry. But what about Harry?

Sirius turned in a full circle. His feet made hollow crunching sounds on the charred floorboards. But there was another noise, too. Could it possibly be? No. It was impossible. Yet, it was true. Crying. It was a baby crying.

In fact, it was familiar crying. And Sirius didn't know very many babies.

Sirius had never in a million years dreamt that he would be even remotely happy to hear the ear splitting cries of his godson. But now… they were probably the best sound Sirius had ever heard in his life.

Where was he? "Harry! Harry, I'm coming!" Sirius choked out. He lunged randomly to his right, tripping over a fallen bookshelf.

"Sirius? Sirius Black?" Sirius whirled around. There stood the massive Hogwarts gamekeeper, Rubeus Hagrid. And in his arms was Sirius's godson. The only remaining piece of Sirius's best friend. The only remaining piece of Sirius's life.

Sirius took several deep breaths. He could feel himself trembling from head to toe. "H-Hagrid?"

"Have you seen?" Hagrid sobbed, "Lily… an', an' James! Sirius… J- James! He's…" but at this point Hagrid lost it to hysterics. Sirius could only stand and stare.

"Si-sirius, James… he was yer b-best friend!" Sirius still said nothing. His brain was slowly coming to a horrifying realization.

"D-dead, S- Sirius, dead!" Hagrid wailed. Sirius's jaw dropped. It was true. They were dead. And Sirius was to blame. He was to blame. He'd killed his best friend. For a moment he felt anger course through him, anger at Peter and mostly anger at himself. How could he have been so stupid? So blind? But then the anger was gone, and all he could think of was Harry. Harry was the one thing Sirius had left to live for.

Hagrid was patting him forcibly on the back now, knocking Sirius to his knees. "Hagrid…" Sirius said, "Give Harry to me, Hagrid… I'm his… godfather, I'll look after him." Sirius wasn't sure how he managed to get the words out. He hadn't known there was enough of himself left to speak. But Harry was the one thing that mattered.

"D- Dumbledore's orders. Harry's ter go ter his aunt and uncle," Hagrid gulped.

"Hagrid! I'm the only… the only family Harry's got left!"

"He's got his aunt and uncle. They're… they're L- Lily's relations. He's ter be raised by them."

"Hagrid… Hagrid, Lily never spoke of her sister. I know… please, Hagrid, I know James would want me to take care of Harry. And Lily would as well," Sirius said. Even as he spoke Sirius realized the fault in his words. James had asked Sirius to be Harry's godfather before he'd been killed. Before he'd been killed by another of Sirius's stupid mistakes. Sirius didn't deserve to raise Harry, the only surviving part of what James had been. But did Harry deserve to be raised by muggles? By a sister who his mother, as far as Sirius knew, hadn't spoken to in years?

"Sirius, the muggles'll be comin' soon. You ought ter say yer goodbyes, 'fore I take 'im ter Dumbledore."

Sirius nodded. Taking a shuddering breath, he parted with the last little bit of his life with a gentle kiss on the forehead, just below the ugly magical gash that marred the baby's perfect skin. Harry quieted; his large, familiar, green eyes observing Sirius with happy recognition. Sirius felt his throat closing, pain clawed at his mangled heart.

Hagrid turned. "Wait!" Sirius called, "Take my bike. I…. I won't need it anymore."

Hagrid nodded his giant head, and mounted it. Within seconds they were gone into the still vaguely green-hued sky.

Sirius watched them go. "I won't need it anymore," he repeated softly to himself. Sirius had only one thing left. One meager purpose left to his pitiful existence.

"I will murder Peter Pettigrew," Sirius spat, and with that, he disappeared.