Disclaimer: I don't own Glee :( WARNING TRIGGER ALERT! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SELF HARMING!

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Rachel couldn't stop thinking about the sense of relief she'd felt after accidentally cutting herself, it was like her body was screaming for relief again but self harming was wrong, it was for those who simply couldn't find a way to deal with the hurt and pain.

"Hey Rach" Will greeted kissing her head as he entered the kitchen that morning.

"Hey daddy, the coffee machine is all warmed up and ready for you" she replied smiling when his eyes lit up.

After thanking her Will poured himself a cup of coffee downed it then wished his daughters goodbye kissing Rachel's cheek then Quinn who was now stood nursing a cup of coffee and Shelby on the lips who hummed still falling for him every time they kissed, Quinn walked over to her mom hugging her letting Shelby know she was sorry for last nights behaviour.

"Mom Jesse text me earlier saying his parents want me to come over tonight for dinner, is that ok?" Rachel asked.

Jesse was Rachel's best friend but unfortunately he attended Carmel High which wasn't in the district of schools Rachel could attend so whenever the two could they would meet up for a coffee or sleepover at each others houses. Jesse would sometimes come to the house for dinner and vice versa, she loved Jesse but in a totally non romantic way as the two were so alike he may as well be Rachel's twin as he also had brown hair that curled naturally and dark brown eyes.

"Sure princess but I would like you to be home by nine please as Noah and Santana are bringing the kids over for family game night" Shelby replied before heading into the lounge to retrieve her bag and coat.

When the twins arrived at school they immediately went their separate ways Rachel heading towards the choir room as usual to get in her early morning vocal exercises and Quinn heading towards the field were the rest of the squad stood some stretching, some on their phones, some flirting with the football jocks and others practising the routines obviously the newest members eager to impress Coach Sue who yes surprisingly still worked at McKinley and Quinn, who stood hands on her hips shouting corrections at them whilst chatting with Elisha and Cody her best friends who just so happened to be second and third in command.

"Did you see what Rupaul was wearing this morning she looked like my grandmother" Elisha jeered giggling.

" I hear she shops in Kids 'R' Us and Forever 90" Cody replied causing all three of them to laugh.

Little did they know Rachel had decided to come out onto the bleachers for some fresh air, having overheard the comments being made about her plus her own twin laughing along with them caused Rachel to feel the urges again this time though she decided to act on them, after explaining to the lady at the front desk that she didn't feel well even going as far as heating her thermometer up in her pocket Rachel was sent home were she stood in her bathroom for what seemed like eternity holding the sharp object that could so easily bring her pain and relief.

"Just one little cut won't cause to much damage and then I will never do it again" she told herself over and over again but she didn't once believe herself.

Rolling up her jumper and top Rachel's shaky hand gripped the razor as it slid across her stomach blood immediately pouring out like she'd just cut a main artery but that one little cut did nothing for her she needed more, it was like a legal high she would never have to pay for so eight cuts later Rachel stood looking at her stomach through the mirror feeling no pain or sadness just happiness and a sense of relief. It wasn't until she started feeling dizzy that she went to work cleaning the bathroom floor and herself making sure to leave no trace of what had happened.

"Rachel?" Shelby called out having received a call from the school about Rachel's dismissal due to feeling sick.

Panicking Rachel quickly hid everything already having changed into her pyjama's she rushed to climb into bed with a book and headphones in so she would have an excuse as to why she didn't respond, she smiled softly as her mother walked in knowing how she worried when one of her babies was sick.

"Hey Pumpkin the school rang and told me you weren't feeling so good so they sent you home" the mother felt her daughters forehead luckily after the panicked rush the brunette was warm and a little sweaty.

"Yeah I thought it would be best to come home and sleep it off but if you're home can we curl up on the sofa bed in the living room and have an us day?" Rachel pleaded giving her mother the biggest puppy dog eyes she could muster up.

Giving in Shelby nodded making her way downstairs whilst Rachel collected everything they would need, she knew it was wrong to fake sick but she enjoyed spending time with her mom and now she was older they were both always so busy but curling up with her mom surrounded by their favourite snacks, with their favourite movies on was better than being at school. Half an hour into Funny Girl Rachel was snoring her head off causing Shelby to giggle before she too decided to settle down for a nap with one of her favourite girls.

Ok so not a long chapter but it is currently 00:15AM for me I have been out all day, spent most of the afternoon running round after a 1 year old who I love to pieces, helping his Mum pack to move house in a week and then spent the rest of the night in stitches laughing with her and one of our mates.

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