Allison plops down on her bed and throws her bag on the old rug in front of it.
She sits completely still, staring at the white wall without any emotion in her eyes.
The darkness envelopes her from the inside as well as from the outside.
Only a little bit of light is coming in through the window since the girl didn't bother to switch the lamp on.
On the other side of her door, she can hear her sister giggling about something with her mom.
Her thougths are racing, her front teeth nervously biting on her lip.
What, what in the world has she done to deserve this? Is she so ugly, so boring and obnoxious that it is simply not possible for anyone to love her?
There has to be something wrong with her. Yes, maybe she has been a shy kid when she was younger, but happy nonetheless. It was a slow process, but eventually she would get more quiet and hide underneath black clothes and books since nobody talked to her or looked after her anyways.
Always deep in thought, people considered her strange and unsocial.
And after a while, she just wasn't used to being around anyone anymore and people, especially a lot of people around her and crowds in general would make her nervous and send her fleeing.
When the happy chattering from the living room gets too much for her to bear, she grabs her jacket, opens her door and walks straight past her reatives, knowing that they don't care.
Her sister raises her head and looks at her with a pityful smile, though.
It's not her fault that she's the favourite, Allison thinks. And she knows that her sister isn't always happy, too, she has problems of her own.
She doesn't look back as she leaves the house behind and disappears in the darkness again.
John Bender is not stupid.
It's just that his feelings and thoughts are not always on display for everybody.
And right now, he can't stop thinking about Allison.
About her beautiful eyes shamefully travelling downwards when she walked past her family.
About her huddled figure underneath that tree.
About her standing on the bridge, staring at the water.
She seems to be doing that a lot, staring downwards.
John tries to define the feelings she produces in him – it's not pity. She certainly wouldn't want to be pitied. Underneath the fog in her eyes he has seen the fire that is still burning deep inside of her.
Looking at the floor doesn't make you a weak person. A shitty family also doesn't.
John knows that from experience, although he sometimes thinks that maybe he isn't as strong as he likes to make himself believe in order to keep going.
Without realising it, he reaches the bridge where he saw Allison the first time.
He walks up to the spot where she had been standing and leans over the railing.
What has she been thinking here? What made her turn around again?
He has nothing more important to do, so he stays on the bridge, stares into the water while the snow keeps falling and some cars pass over the river behind him.
It's cold, but that's nothing he isn't used to.
When he finally decides to go somewhere a bit warmer, he sees a shadow on the opposite side of the road. A person, leaning over the railing just like he did.
John crosses the road only to realize that it's the girl he's been thinking about all the time.
„Allison", he says. She doesn't move.
Leaning forward, he can see her face but can't make out any emotion – she is staring blankly.
He looks at her with wide eyes. And pokes her in the cheek with his index finger.
She turns her head around slowly. Now she seems to be a bit angry, as if he's interrupted something very important.
„What are you doing outside again? You wanna freeze again? I ain't around to save you all the time, you know!"
„I took a jacket this time, so it's fine." She glances down into the water. „And I can take care of myself, you know."
„Yeah, that was the first thing I noticed when I found you under that tree."
She doesn't answer.
He tilts his head to the side a bit before furrowing his brow worriedly.
„Allison, what made you turn back that first time on the bridge?"
„Who says it was the first time? I simply wasn't strong enough."
Bender opens his mouth and closes it again.
Then he sees Allison struggling to keep her emotions hidden. She closes her eyes and breathes faster and heavier now.
John swallows and suddenly, his shoes seem to be very interesting.
„You know, I don't usually do this talking shit. But I don't think it makes you weak not to be able to kill yourself. You were not too weak, you were too strong."
Is he seriously giving someone a pep talk right now? How did she do this to him?
„I like your explanation", Allison whispers and smiles. Not a nice, devout smile, it's a mad smile, a fight smile.
Bender smiles too and it's a real smile, even though it's a sad one.
As they part and walk away in different directions as if on clue, Bender looks up to the sky and chuckles, a newfound spring in his steps.
God, I don't even know if anyone is reading this. It's been like a year and a half since I started this...
Wow, I'm nineteen now.
But I just watched the DVD again. :3 And realised that there are not many fanfictions about Allison and Bender. Meh.
Well, if anybody is reading this - is it too descriptive? What do you think? Do you want me to continue? Ideas are welcome too of course. :-)