Harley had arrived back at the treehouse just ahead of Selina. The blonde was motioning for the vine with her freehand while the other clutched two apples to her chest.
"Didn't Ivy say 'as many as you could carry'?" Selina asked, disappointed in Harley's bounty.
"Uh…yeah…One for each hand. Here, hold this, will ya?" Harley tossed Selina one of the apples and secured herself on the vine with the other. Her feet left the ground almost instantaneously.
"Why didn't you use your bag?" Selina called after her. Harley was already gone, though. The brunette grimaced at the upper body strength required to hold onto the rope-like plant with a gallon and a half of water on her back for the 50 feet from the ground to the shelter. Harley was there with helpful hands at the top, pulling Catwoman up through the hole in the floor and unclipping the pack from her back.
"Thanks." Selina panted.
"What are friends for, Kitty?" The blonde winked.
Selina sighed internally, her heart breaking for the genuinely kind woman below all the gimmicks. 'Oh, Harley…' The brunette's green eyes flitted over to their other comrade. Ivy was sitting in the corner with her bare back towards the other two, her strapless leafy green leotard converging at the very base of her spine. "So what's the plan?" Selina asked.
The redhead turned around slowly, gingerly holding her wrist over a small gourd. A large gash was sliced across her veins and sticky green liquid was cascading forth, filling the container drop by drop.
"Jesus, Ivy…" Selina tried to keep her tone light. "We were only gone for like 30 minutes. You didn't need to resort to self-harm."
Harley squinted, cocking her head to the side. "As a mental health professional, I'm not sure I can condone that joke." Then she giggled and gave Catwoman a light punch in the shoulder. "And anyway, if she really wanted to hurt herself she'd-a cut the otha way."
"Harley…" Ivy's eyes never left her wrist. She didn't want to spill a single drop. "I need a stick." Harley opened her mouth, but not before Ivy quickly continued "and I need you to resist the urge to turn that into some sexual joke."
Harley pouted, and Selina couldn't help herself. "Why don't you just use the one stuck up your butt, Pam?"
Harley tried her best to cover her mouth, but she was powerless against the onslaught of laugher that poured forth. Selina smiled broadly, liking the effect the joke had on the jester.
Ivy raised her shining green eyes slowly, a vine slithering out from somewhere beneath the leaves of her suit. It wrapped itself tightly around her wrist, stopping the blood flow. "Oh yes…" her tone was measured, methodical, dangerous. "Go ahead and make jokes, you two. I'll remember that when whoever is out there has one of you pinned to the ground."
Harley wiped the tears away from her wide blue eyes. "Ah come on, Red. That was a good one. You're jus' grumpy cuz—"
"The three of us have been forced into a gladiator's arena where the only hope of escape is to murder each other?" Ivy's brow was raised in a question, even though it was clearly rhetorical. "Yes, Harl. Now that you mention it, I am a little grumpy."
"Sure, but we don't gotta kill each otha right now." Harley plopped down next to Ivy with little regard for the poison-filled gourd sitting on the uneven thatch-work of the treehouse floor. The redhead caught it just as it began to tip. She whipped her head back to face Harley, as red with fury as she could be given her green complexion, but Harley grabbed her cheeks and pulled her into a deep kiss. Now she was red for an entirely different reason. Ivy grunted in surprise, but seemed to relax into it rather quickly.
"Harley!" Selina clapped her hands like the blonde was a bad dog. "Time and place! Time and place."
That broke the spell on Ivy and she broke away. "T-time and place." She echoed Selina with a stutter.
That made the jester giggle. "Even when you ain't ready you're a great kissa, Red. I know bein' a plant n' stuff can be hard, but I don't mind all the lip-lockin' practice ya get." She pulled the other woman close again and kissed her, but on the cheek this time. "Now ya wanna let Kitty n' me in on the plan? Why do ya need a stick?"
Ivy gathering her wits once more. It never ceased to amaze Catwoman how uncomfortable Ivy was with public displays of actual affection. "I'm going to shape it into a knife and you're going to use it to carve out the apples." The green vixen told them.
"Then what?" Harley prompted.
"Then we're going to fill them with the poison I'm producing…" Ivy's brow furrowed at the apples Harley had returned with. "Harl, I told you to bring me back the poisoned apples. Those ones are safe for consumption."
"Oh." Harley looked down at her lap, guiltily. "Sorry, Red. I guess I got em' mixed up."
Ivy was clearly fighting the urge to roll her eyes. Instead she just sighed and looked over at Selina. "The shiny ones are poisoned. Could you be a dear and run the errand? I know Harley is trying her best…" she eyed the blonde sideways. "But this is the second time she's made this mistake."
Selina watched Harley wring her hands in her lap. 'I guess this is hitting her just as hard as the rest of us…' "Of course." Catwoman nodded. "Will I be able to touch them?"
Ivy was absently squeezing Harley's hand. "Yes, they're only toxic if ingested." Catwoman turned to leave. "When you get back, I need your suit."
"What?" Selina spun back around.
"I need to wear your suit." Ivy repeated. "I need to sweat in order to produce the more potent pheromones." She explained. "I had to leave my spray and lipstick at home, you see. Although I can also secrete them naturally, I need to amplify them for this setting. The open spaces cause the fumes to dissipate."
Catwoman pulled on an expression somewhere between disgust and fascination. "You want to borrow my suit so you can…so you can sweat in it?"
Ivy nodded, her fingers now dancing across Harley's leg, making the younger woman squirm with delight.
"Fine." Catwoman conceded. "But your methods of 'working up a sweat', or whatever, may NOT include Harley. Not in my suit. Got it?"
Ivy's expression betrayed her when a faint smile crept along her lips. "Got it."