Oh, What a Wonderful Taboo…

Summary: So during the events of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Ron reveals to Harry and Hermione that Lord Voldemort has put a magical taboo on his name. The reasoning behind Voldemort taking this action seems sound enough – for the most part those who can bring themselves to say the name "Voldemort" are allies of either Harry or Dumbledore and, as the Taboo allows the Death Eaters and Snatchers to apparate to the exact spot where the name was said, it's a handy was to track down the Order of the Phoenix. However there is one glaringly obvious flaw with this plan, which Harry and Hermione will exploit in the following story. Enjoy!

Warnings: Good guys dealing out death and destruction. Use of logic in the face of magic. Harry using his brain. Fraidy-cat Ron.

[Bold section is from Deathly Hallows Book]

"…the name's been jinxed Harry," explained Ron. "That's how they track people! Using his name breaks protective enchantments, it causes some kind of magical disturbance – it's how they found us in Tottenham Court Road!"

"Because we said his name?"

"Exactly! You've got to give them credit, it makes sense. Its only people who were serious about standing up to him, like Dumbledore, who ever dared use it. Now they've put a Taboo on it, anyone who says it is trackable – quick and easy way to find Order members! They nearly got Kingsley –"

"You're kidding?"

"Yeah, a bunch of Death Eaters cornered him, Bill said, but he fought his way out. He's on the run now, just like us."

Ron scratched his chin thoughtfully with the end of his wand.

Harry ignored how stupid he looked as his own mind ran a mile a minute.

Finally his face broke out into a wide smile as a brilliant idea came to him.

"Oh, that is perfect," he said to himself before turning back to Ron. "Hey, did Bill say how many Death Eaters Kingsley had to fight off?"

Ron shrugged but replied "Can't have been a huge number because he fought them alone and still escaped."

"Right," said Harry. He turned and strode off towards the tent, calling out to his other friend "Hey, Hermione! Did you hear what Ron said about the Taboo?"

"I did," replied Hermione, setting her book aside and getting to her feet. "Strange, isn't it, how they put up this Taboo thing and both of us just happen to completely stop using the name."

"Yeah, it is a little weird," replied Harry. "But I've learnt that its best to not concentrate on that kind of thing as you'll just get a headache."

"True dat," agreed Ron as he used the pinkie finger on his left hand to fish some earwax out of his year.

Hermione rolled her eyes at his behaviour before turning back to Harry. "You look like you've got a plan forming behind those green eyes of yours. Spill."

Harry smirked and replied "Just coming up with ways to turn this Taboo to our advantage."

Hermione's eyes lit up in a way that they hadn't done for months. "Planning on depriving You-Know-Who of a few followers, are we?"

"Maybe," Harry said, feigning mystery. "You wouldn't happen to know any charms for some large-scale landscaping would you?"

"Hmm, I think I know exactly what spell you're looking for…" said Hermione as she turned and walked into the tent, Harry following behind her.

"Hey, hang on!" said Ron, running to catch up. He burst into the tent to see that Hermione already had a book open and was leafing through the pages.

"Just what did you mean by "depriving You-Know-Who of a few followers"?"

"Simple," replied Harry. "We're going to set a trap, break the Taboo and put an end to whoever shows up. Any luck, Hermione?"

Hermione set the book down on the table. "Here we are. It's a standard earth-mover charm. Usually it's used to lay building foundations or to dig artificial ponds…"

"Sounds perfect," said Harry, leaning over the book.

"Hang on," said Ron. "You don't mean that you're going to kill anyone who responds to the Taboo, do you?"

Harry rolled his eyes and replied mockingly "No, Ron. We're going to slap them on the wrists and tell them to not be bad ever again or else they won't get any pudding for a month."

"This isn't funny!" retorted Ron. "You can't go around killing people – it'll make you turn Dark!"

"Oh, grow up Ron!" snapped Hermione. "This is supposed to be a war! Killing goes hand in hand with that, and I think that enough of the good guys and the innocents have been killed to be going on with. Now it's the bad guys' turn!"

"But you'll turn Dark!" repeated Ron, obstinately.

"I killed Quirrel my first year," said Harry. "Does that make me Dark, Ron?"

"Well… no…" Ron faltered. "But that's different. You didn't set out to kill Quirrel, did you? I mean, you didn't actually intend to kill him."

"No, I didn't," replied Harry. "But then, I don't regret it either."

"Yeah, but Quirrel did have You-Know-Who growing out the back of his head…"

"And the Death Eaters all are branded with You-Know-Who's Dark Mark," interrupted Harry. "What's the difference?"

Ron's mouth opened and closed several times as he struggled to find and answer. When none was forthcoming, Harry just shook his head.

"Look Ron, if it makes you feel any better, you can stay here in the tent while Hermione and I do all the work. You're only contribution needs to be letting me borrow your broom. Mine was lost the same time Hedwig died."

Ron started and him for a moment before finally giving a resigned nod and turning towards his bed. Harry watched him go for a few moments before his attention was diverted by the feeling of a hand being placed on top of his.

Harry looked down at the table, where his and Hermione's hands were resting and then looked up into her eyes which were shining with sympathy. He knew why – this was the first time since that dreadful night that he had actually mentioned Hedwig.

He gave Hermione a thankful smile and then they turned their attentions back to the book in front of them.

"Perfodi maxima!"

From either end of the clearing in the middle of the woods, Harry and Hermione each called out the spell. As they weaved their wands about to and fro, grass, turf, soil and rock broke apart and lifted into the air. All in all, more than thirty five metric tonnes of earth was lifted into the air.

"Suspendisse!"

With that spell, the soil and rock remained suspended in the air without the continued aid of their wands.

Harry looked down into the rather impressive hole that they had made before calling across to Hermione "Should we add a little water to this?"

"Just enough to cause them to lose their footing!" Hermione called back. "With any luck we'll be able to finish them off before they can aim their wands."

Harry nodded and they both aimed their wands into the hole.

"Aqua eructo!"

Torrential jets of water burst from the ends of each of their wands and blasted into the hole. They only filled it to about knee-height, but both of them were confident that the water, when combined with the loose and uneven surface at the bottom of the hole would be enough to throw any Death Eater off balance.

Hermione then made her way around the side of the hole to Harry as he picked up Ron's broom.

"Ready?" he asked.

"As I'll ever be," she replied.

They had decided that they would both call out Voldemort's name in the hope that two voices would bring them twice as many victims… er… Death Eaters.

Harry mounted the broom and Hermione got on behind him. He kicked off from the ground and flew forwards, over the hole but beneath the floating soil.

Exactly half way across they both called out as loudly as they could "VOLDEMORT!" and then Harry raced the broom as fast as he dared towards the other side.

As they landed, they heard the familiar tell-tale sounds of people arriving by apparition. These were quickly joined by shouts, yelps and the sound of much splashing.

Harry chanced a look and saw that there were at least twenty people thrashing about in the water below. Not all of them were dressed in the black robes of the Death Eaters, causing Harry to assume that these were the Snatchers who went around rounding up the Muggleborns for the corrupted Ministry of Magic.

"Now!" said Hermione, raising her wand.

Harry raised his wand too and together they called out "Finite incantatem!"

The spells that they had used to hold the soil and rock in the air broke and the whole lot came crashing down as Harry and Hermione hurriedly backed away.

They hid behind a tree and waited for a few moments before Harry chanced a look around. There was no one there, but there was a slight mound in the earth where their hole had once been.

The duo approached the scene.

Hermione waved her wand in an intricate pattern for a few moments before finally confirming "We got them!"

Harry let out a whoop and rank to the top of the mound. Hermione quickly joined him and they danced a rather silly jig atop the grave of their fallen enemies.

They found Ron sitting outside the tent when they came back.

He looked up as they approached – his eyes mournful and slightly reproachful.

"Did you do it?"

"Yep," replied Harry. "Must've got twenty of them!"

Ron nodded his head before standing up.

"Listen, guys. I've been doing some thinking and I've decided that I can't stay here while you do this."

"You're leaving us again?" asked Hermione, but there was no accusation in her tone.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, but I just can't be a part of this."

"That's fine Ron," said Harry. "Here's your broom back."

Ron looked at the broom as Harry held it out to him, but he shook his head. "No, you guys keep it. You might need it for a backup escape plan."

"Thanks Ron."

Ron nodded again and retreated back inside the tent, only to return a moment later with a bag containing all his belongings slung over his shoulder.

"Well, see you," he said.

"See ya!" said Harry.

"Bye Ron," said Hermione.

They watched him walk away through the protective enchantments that surrounded the tent, after which he disapparated.

"Well," said Harry "At least there's going to be more food for the two of us."

Hermione snorted and led the way back into the tent, commenting "I assume that's a request for lunch?"

"If you don't mind," said Harry as he took a seat in one of the overstuffed armchairs. "I did cook breakfast after all."

"Fair enough," replied Hermione as she entered the kitchen. There she opened a cupboard and called out "What do you want? I can do you iffy fish on mouldy bread, dodgy mushroom soup or a bowl of miscellaneous fermenting fruits?"

"What happened to those stakes we pinched from that supermarket? I thought we had two left."

"No, Ron ate those."

"Damn. Tell you what, let's set lunch aside for now. We'll give any other Death Eaters a chance to check up on their missing comrades and then after they fail we'll dig up those bodies and liberate anything of value."

"Grave robbing? Really?"

"Sure. I mean, what's the sense in us, the good guys, starving to death when just half a mile away twenty bad guys are lying dead with gold in their money bags, watches on their wrists, boots on their feet and cloaks on their backs?"

"Huh, can't argue with that logic," said Hermione as she came over and plopped herself down into the armchair next to Harry's. "Now, what's your plan for the next lot of Death Eaters?"

Harry thought for a moment before commenting "I'm thinking shallower hole, same amount of water and the addition of freezing wind.

Hermione's eyes got that look in them again.

A/N: And the final result is that Voldemort finally notices that his followers are declining rapidly decides to see what the hell is happening and goes himself, falling straight into one of Harry and Hermione's traps.

I have, in the past, gotten reviews from annoyed readers who are irritated by the fact that I have characters do that thing we see in the films where they travel by that weird, misty or smoky plume (I think that some in the fandom have termed it fumation, and I rather like that!) and argue that why would they do that instead of apparition. To me, apparition is fine so long as you're going somewhere that you can see from where you are. For example, apparating twenty feet to your right in a battle so that you can hit someone from behind works, apparating 80 miles away is stupid.

There are three examples of apparition biting the characters of the series in the arse – the first happened when Charlie took his apparition test and accidentally landed on top of an old woman. The next is in Deathly Hallows when, after abandoning Harry and Hermione, Ron literally apparates into a group of Snatchers. And the third instance is in the film Deathly Hallows Part 1 where the trio apparate right into a group of Snatchers.

Apparition is ridiculously flawed, even more so than the Floo network, and as such anyone with half a brain cell should have been able to turn the Taboo to their advantage, as seen here.