She's gone.
Pamela's eyes snapped open. Sunlight was just beginning to seep past the canopy of green and cut through the stagnant heat of the morning. Catwoman was still asleep, her back slumped against the tree and her neck craning uncomfortably so her head could rest on her shoulder. But Harley was gone. Ivy's chest felt cold without her warmth.
"Harley." She whispered, first looking in the branches below and above her. "Harley." She pulled herself to her feet, ignoring the pins and needles in her legs and feet. This vantage point wasn't doing Ivy any favors, so she dropped down to the branch below her. "Harley." She called again as Catwoman began to stir.
"Ivy, what's going on?" Selina groaned.
The branch brought the redhead 8 feet above the ground, but she couldn't wait, electing to jump down the rest of the way. She landed softly, rolling to avoid injury to her knees. "Harley!" Ivy was shouting now.
"Ivy! Shh!" Catwoman was attempting to quiet her. It was morning now. The other selections would be on the move as well.
Pamela spun around. "Selina! Harley's gone!"
"Geez, Red." The harlequin's high pitched voice brought Ivy to once again face away from the tree. "Wake up the whole neighborhood, why don't'cha?"
"Harley…" Ivy breathed, her face relaxing for a moment before her eyes lit with anger. "Where the hell were you?!"
"Ah, come on, Red." Harley smiled, trying to calm the redhead down. "I had some, uh, personal business to attend to."
"Personal business?" Ivy spat. "What possible business could you have in the middle of a forest at 6 o'clock in the morning?"
The blonde frowned, clearly unamused with the other woman's tone. "I had ta go pee, Red. I don't know how plants work, but us 'meat sacks' usually gotta relieve our bladders when they're full."
Ivy's heart beat angrily in her chest. "What did I say about the buddy system, Harl? What did I say?"
"Ta always use it." Harley repeated the mantra. "I didn't know ya meant like…ALL the time."
It took every ounce of restraint Ivy had not to scream at the top of her lungs. "Goddamn it, Harley. You're a doctor! What does the word 'always' mean to you?"
Harley's face grew red. She tore her eyes away from the fuming Poison Ivy to get Catwoman on her side. "Kitty! Pammy wants me ta take a babysitter when I pee."
Catwoman was working her way down the trunk and dropped to the ground. "I'm on Ivy's side with this one, Harley. You should have at least told us where you were going."
"But I came back!" Harley protested.
Selina sighed and squeezed Ivy's hand as a show of moral support and a request that she chill out. "Harley, do you think you could put yourself in Ivy's shoes for a second?"
"She ain't wearin' shoes, Kitty." Harley pointed out, gesturing to the redhead's pale green feet.
"Look." Selina grabbed the blonde by the shoulders and regarded her sternly. "Now I love you, Harley. We both do." She included Ivy. "In different ways, obviously, but I still care about you." Ivy blushed while Harley looked at her oddly. Oh, right. She was supposed to be asleep... "Anyway," Selina continued. "I know that you have a lot of problems, I mean…we all do, but yours are…special, and I know you don't mean to do or say some things you, well…do or say, but Ivy and I are really going to need you to focus, alright? We're your team, and right now…you're not acting like a team player."
"W-whaddya mean?" Harley was clearly hurt by the insinuation. "You guys are my best girlfriends. I'm always a team player."
Catwoman released the blonde's shoulders. "Not if you're giving Ivy a heart attack, you're not."
"But, Red…" Harley turned back to face Ivy, a tone deaf smile on her face. "I'd never leave ya."
Ivy drew her mouth into a hard line to keep her lip from quivering. "Yes you would, Harley."
Selina hoped Ivy's words would sink in, but somehow she doubted they would. The brunette adjusted the pack on her shoulders and buckled it around her waist to give it time. When she was done, Harley was still staring at Ivy with her head cocked to the side. Selina could almost hear the gears turning in her head. "Where are we headed?" the brunette prompted, pulling Ivy out of her downward spiral.
Pamela's tone was measured. "There is someone in the forest roughly 3 miles to our north."
"The fast one or the stagnant one?"
"The stagnant one." Ivy told her, grabbing the shovel from where it lay up against the tree and handing it to Harley.
/
"Estimated intersect with Bane, 1 hour, 45 minutes." Oracle announced, although she hardly had a captive audience. Green Arrow was sitting in the chair next to her, his feet up on the dash, chuckling to himself as he scrolled through his twitter feed.
"I'm sorry." He glanced at her quickly. "Have you read these? Some of them are hilarious."
"Yes, I have read them." Barbara was curt.
"Listen to this one." Oliver ignored her. "How much you wanna bet #Catwoman treats sex like a competition?" He laughed and looked over at Oracle, who rolled her eyes and grabbed her phone off the table.
"You're going to ruin the punchlines…" she mumbled as she refreshed her feed.
"Damn, dude. Mom-zoned is the worst kind of zoned. Sorry, #PoisonIvy"
"#Catwoman be like 'white people.' #smh"
"Where can I get a girl band poster of the #GothamSirens ? Would give my left nut to see them in white denim."
"Can we make fem fatales like #PoisonIvy cool again? I like to be aroused when I'm frightened."
Barbara cracked a smile and forwarded that one to Tim Drake.
"Marry, fuck, kill #GothamSirens trick question, #PoisonIvy would murder all ur dumb asses."
"Wonder what #Catwoman stole to land her in this shit. Must have been…Batman's heart."
The former Batgirl retweeted that one on her personal account.
"How long until we can start calling #HarleyandIvy gay icons? Does being mass murderers disqualify them?"
"Why do I feel like #PoisonIvy 's the top?"
"I'd put money on it." Barbara replied. She set her phone a side for a moment and toggled the camera so she could see Bane on the large monitor. He was still asleep, so she went back to her feed.
"I wanna hear one of the #GothamSirens say 'bitches get stuff done' at least once."
"I feel like #HarleyQuinn 's into some nasty shit but #PoisonIvy only fucks to Mozart."
Barbara chuckled, glancing over her shoulder before retweeting that one as well. Upon closer examination, she found that the hashtag "FucksTo" had begun to trend as well.
"Catwoman #FucksTo Smooth Criminal."
"Poison Ivy #FucksTo Welcome to the Jungle"
Oracle smiled and began to compose one herself. "Harley Quinn #FucksTo the Scooby Doo theme song." Three seconds later, she heard Green Arrow chuckle again.
"You think so?" He asked.
She didn't respond, just shrugged and returned her attention to the arena display. Cheetah had yet to start her daily lap around the forest, so Barbara checked up on her. She was in her human form, sitting with her back against a tree, absently running her fingers through her copper toned hair.
"Could you give me a moment, Arrow?" Barbara asked politely. "I promised my mom I'd give her a call."
"Sure." Oliver nodded, getting up from his chair. "I was going to grab some food anyway. Are you hungry?"
"No." Barbara smiled. "But thank you." She waited until he had closed the door behind him before dialing Supergirl. "I just mom-zoned you." Barbara told her once she'd answered.
"So I guess that's catching on?" Kara asked.
"Unfortunately." Barbara sighed. "Your guys' cover story is getting a lot of traction online." The former Batgirl split one of her screens and pulled up the online version of the article in question which boasted a photo of Harley and Ivy in the forehead-kiss moment.
"I saw Justice League started trending too…" Kara offered hopefully.
"According to my algorithm, 47% of those tweets are casting the Justice League in a negative light."
"Shit." Supergirl groaned. "I know this makes me horrible…but could I have that quote? Cat's going to want it."
Barbara sighed. "Knock yourself out. Just remember you didn't hear it from me." The former Batgirl took a moment to think. "You can also tell Cat that all the selections seem pretty disinterested this year. These are all famous villains, and no one wants to play the game. Even Joker decided to play smart this time around. I haven't had eyes on him since they dropped Harley in."
"Are we going to see a fight today?" Kara asked.
"1 hour, 30 minutes until the Sirens find Bane."
"Well…if he kills Catwoman, maybe I won't have to talk to Clark. Maybe Batman will do it for me."