Oracle's phone hadn't stopped buzzing since Harley decided to give the world a live-action look at what would certainly be everyone's favorite lesbian porno.
"#NoThankYou for the cockblock, Catwoman" was the tweet that best summed up social media's response, in Barbara's opinion. #NoThankYou was now trending and there was a fairly serious petition going around trying to get Catwoman her own late night TV show. Although there was clearly no way in hell that was happening, Barbara assumed there would be some sitcom about three hot, amoral friends just trying to make it in this complicated world sometime in the near future…after the three actual women were murdered, of course. Barbara decided she would give the hypothetical show she just created one episode to grab her attention, but if the hypothetical writers included a single threesome innuendo she'd shut it off right then and there. Barbara was already proud of her future principled actions.
Oracle felt like she'd been serving as these women's babysitter for the last three days. Watching their every movement, monitoring their physical wellbeing as best she could…they didn't know she was watching, but Barbara felt an odd connection to these women. She felt bonded, somehow. Zatanna had said it best when she was munching on her breakfast burrito- it was weird seeing those "Gotham girls" in this situation. They were like fish at a pet store- the world observing their movements through the glass, watching silently as they went about their dynamics. It was like studying wildlife in a controlled environment, but instead of the scientists writing thorough reports on the phenomena witnessed, they were tweeting things like "I think my boner just got a boner."
The Sirens were sleeping on the ground tonight, which none but Harley seemed to be happy about. Ivy was so stressed she'd let Harley serve as the big spoon for the night, which to Barbara (and to twitter) seemed against their usual dynamic. Barbara (begrudgingly) found the action endearing on both women's parts. Catwoman was curled up only about two feet away and Ivy's hand was resting on her forearm. This positioning had been Harley's doing. She'd leaned over and gently adjusted Ivy's open palm once the redhead had fallen asleep in an attempt to include Selina. Selina herself had been awake at the time, although she was pretending to be asleep. Once again, Oracle could tell the thief was faking it from her breathing patterns. She'd flinched slightly when she felt Ivy's hand, but it'd been an hour and she still hadn't moved it. To sum up twitter's reaction to that, one would need more heart-eye emojis than the keyboard allowed.
Watching these three women, women that Barbara had so famously brawled with, act so affectionately towards each other was making the former Batgirl question some of her long standing beliefs. She'd hated Harley for a very long time for being involved with The Joker after what he'd done to her…how he'd taken away her legs. Harley's continuously choosing that "man" convinced Barbara that she was just as rotten. But that's not how she was, not all the time, anyway. She wasn't just Joker's ditzy sidekick. She was as wounded as any of his other victims. Harley Quinn was The Joker's worse offense.
And Catwoman and Ivy were…
The blinking red dot on her monitor roused Barbara from her thoughts. She rubbed the sleep away from her eyes and pulled on her glasses, sitting forward slightly. Someone was moving in the forest
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Harley cautiously peered out from behind her lashes. She was sure Ivy was asleep because from experience she knew that slumber was the only scenario in which her body would relax. Harley had always found it strange how fluidly Ivy moved and spoke while being wound so tight. It was also rare for Ivy to fall asleep first, so Harley always treasured her serene expression of deep slumber when she got to witness it.
The blonde untangled herself from the other woman's body and cautiously rose to her feet, eyeing Catwoman's sleeping form as she did so. Harley knew Selina would probably side with Ivy when she stole away again, so the jester had to ensure 'Kitty' was just as sleepy as 'Red.' Harley grinned when Ivy tightened her grip around Catwoman's forearm. She wished they wouldn't be so prickly in the daylight. Harley knew they loved each other…just not in the way Ivy loved Harley. The blonde smiled even more broadly at that thought. 'Two a' the biggest, baddest supervillains in all a' Gotham City, and both of em' love me!' She stifled a giggle and did a love-sick twirl before slinking out of the clearing and back through the forest.
The trees cast long shadows in the moonlight and the wind whispering through the leaves like the voices of ghost children. But Harley wasn't afraid. Ivy taught her not to ever be afraid of the forest. The trees rewarded those who treated them with the respect they deserved. They produced oxygen, after all, so they deserved a whole helluva lotta respect. The jester nodded in an affirmation of her own thought and lovingly ran her fingers along the trunks of the trees as she passed them.
Harley swore she could feel the air thicken as she got closer. Her heartrate picked up speed until the thumping in her ears was drowning out the haunting sounds of the forest. The trees were sleeping peacefully just like Ivy, but Harley was wide awake and she was excited. She started at a jog when their meeting tree came into view and in no time at all she was grinning goofily at the sharp profile silhouetted in the moonlight.
"Puddin'!"