"Goddamnit, Harley!" Oracle moved before her mind had the chance to catch up. She attempted to stand. Even though she was alone, when her legs didn't budge she blushed a shade of red brighter than her hair. Barbara was embarrassed both at her investment in these women and at forgetting…she couldn't…these weren't her villains anymore.
The Joker was there. He was there with Harley. Harley had known exactly where to meet him. She'd wandered away from the safety of Ivy's arms…a woman who loved her, who SAID that she loved her on live television. OK, so maybe she wasn't aware that particular moment was being filmed, but still! For some reason, as Barbara watched Harley fly into Joker's arms, she felt like she'd been cheated on along with Ivy.
Her phone buzzed and Barbara snatched it off the desk, annoyed. "Ow! My broken heart! #TeamIvy" 'Oh great', Barbara sighed, 'now I'm no better than these assholes.' And where had Joker come from, anyway? Oracle hadn't been able to find him for a week, and his nature survival skills weren't even in the same league as Poison Ivy's. How was he able to hide himself so efficiently?
That puzzle would have to wait. Someone else was moving back at the Sirens camp. Barbara assumed it would be Ivy realizing that Harley was gone, but when she clicked on the notification she found it was Catwoman who was confusedly searching for the third member of their team. Ivy was still fast asleep. It seemed to Barbara that the sheer volume of poison she'd administered to Bane had exhausted her.
Catwoman first walked down a little way down the bank to get a decent view of the lake, but when she didn't see Harley there, she turned back to the forest. Selina stopped for a moment to observe the sleeping Poison Ivy before slinking along the tree line, looking for the trail that Harley might have taken, Barbara assumed. The brunette glanced over her shoulder one more time at Ivy before diving into the forest, forcing Barbara to have to change her camera angle to follow her.
/
Selina kept low to the ground, studying the forest floor for any sign of disturbance. She didn't exactly want to stalk Harley on her trip to the restroom, but Selina figured it was better than the alternative- Ivy waking up without Harley because the jester had neglected to tell her where she was going again. But…now that Selina thought about it, she hadn't told Ivy where she was going either. And maybe it wasn't so wise to be walking around the dark forest of a gladiator's arena at night without a meta-human bodyguard.
From what Catwoman could tell, Harley had walked a relatively straight line, but it was odd that she would walk this far just to relieve her bladder…and that's when she heard a voice. A voice that wasn't Harley's. A voice that made her skin crawl.
Catwoman cautiously- silently- peered out from behind the tree that obscured her. Joker was holding Harley by the arms and had a Colt Camp Perry Long Rifle strapped to his side. Catwoman hadn't brought her whip, and even though she was fairly confident she could beat Joker in hand-to-hand combat, that gun was ruling out a fair fight. She would need Ivy, both for combat purposes and to talk Harley down from the ledge once they'd killed Joker.
The thief eased herself away from her tree, and once she was out of what she guessed was earshot for Joker or Harley, she began a sprint back to the edge of the clearing.
"Ivy!" Catwoman shook the sleeping woman. "Pam! He's back!" she hissed into Ivy's ear.
Pamela began to stir, opening one eye and then the other. "Where's Harley?" Her voice was raspy.
"She's with him!" There was a panic to Selina's tone that she wasn't expecting.
"Who?" Ivy sat up and stretched.
"Who?" Catwoman snarled. "WHO?! The fucking Joker, that's who!"
All grogginess immediately left Ivy's features. She blinked, and her eyes were clear- glowing harlequin green, cutting through the thick blackness of the night. "Show me."
Ivy had crafted a splint for her ankle, which according to Harley's diagnosis was actually broken. "It will grow together." Ivy kept assuring them. "It will grow together." To help set it in place, she'd taken two thick sticks and fastened them around her ankle with a vine. Catwoman had to help her up off the ground, but after that she was able to move rather efficiently through the forest after Selina. The brunette kept glancing back behind her, but even with her limp she was able to keep up, although her face was contorted in pain.
Catwoman slowed as they approached the spot where Harley and Joker had been. His voice was quieter now, but amazingly he was still talking. There was no doubt The Joker liked the sound of his own voice. Ivy took calming breaths as she moved to a better vantage point. Joker had Harley pulled close to him, his hand on her chin, her face pulled into the crazed grin he tended to encourage in her. Ivy clenched her jaw, biting her tongue to starve off her anger, and gently placed her hand on the nearby tree's trunk. Slowly, the roots of the trees surrounding the two "lovebirds" began to slowly animate and slither towards them like twisting, wooden snakes. They didn't realize what was happening until Ivy's babies had fastened around their ankles, holding them in place.
"Bout' time, Plant bitch!" Joker squealed, drawing his gun from the holster on his thigh.
Suddenly, Catwoman pounced from the branch above him, tackling him down to the ground and wrenching the gun from his grip.
"No!" Harley screamed. "Don't hurt him, Kitty!"
The clown princess could barely get her words out before two more large roots erupted from the earth and slammed Harley onto the ground. Hard. Joker landed one punch against Catwoman before he was given the same treatment.
Selina's headache was back thanks to the blow to her temple, but she ignored it to watch Ivy. The woman's expression was calm, but the sort of calm that came before the storm. Selina could tell the anger was frothing just below the surface. She could see it in the woman's green eyes, which held steady on Harley, but flickered dangerously.
"Red!" Harley said from her bound position on the ground. "Red, these things are a little tight."
Ivy regarded Harley coolly, never breaking eye contact with her while she addressed the brunette. "Selina. Open that backpack, please."
Catwoman had to scan the ground for a moment before her eyes landed on a League-issued bag laying near The Joker. The brunette looked oddly at Ivy before approaching it, and hesitated for just a moment before unzipping the main compartment.
"Whatever happened to personal privacy, ladies?" Joker cackled.
"What's in the bag, Selina?" Ivy asked. Her tone even. Biting.
Catwoman's stomach turned. 'Oh, Harley…you stupid fucking idiot.'
"What's in the bag, Selina?" Ivy repeated with the same icy cadence.
Catwoman grimaced as she dumped the bag's contents onto the grass. Nine apples, safe for consumption, and one water spile.
Ivy glanced over. She knew what she would find, but she clearly didn't want to believe Harley would abuse her trust like this. Ivy's mouth stayed firm, but her eyes betrayed the hurt she felt. She made a motion like throwing dice and Harley was dragged off the ground and slammed harshly into the tree behind her.
"Oh, what's the matter Poison Oakey? You—" Catwoman shut Joker up by kicking him in the groin.
"Hey!" Harley protested.
"Shut up!" Ivy snapped. Harley did as she was told, she, Joker and Catwoman all silently watching Ivy with significant apprehension as she paced in a tight circle in front of her captives. She finally came to a stop and looked at Harley with those hurt eyes, her bottom lip quivering from frustration and heartbreak.
"Why?" was all she could come up with. "Why would you do this to me?"
"I wasn't doin' nothin' to ya, Red!" Harley implored, wiggling a bit in an attempt to loosen the root clamping her arms down to her sides. "I jus love Mistah J, that's all. Just because nobody loves you the way I love Mistah J, doesn't mean—"
"Oh!" a mirthless laugh escaped Ivy's lips. "You mean because there's no man around to hit me, I don't understand irrational thinking? It seems I do, Harley. After all, the very definition of insanity is doing something over and over again hoping for a different result, right? You should have been able to diagnose this in me years ago, Dr. Quinzel." She sneered.
"You woulda been real proud of me, though, Red!" Harley assured her. "I even remembered the word and everything, didn't I, Puddin'? I told'ja it was called a 'spile.'" She nodded earnestly at Joker, hoping he'd back her up.
"She most certainly did." The clown prince cackled.
"And I remembad which ones were the good apples and which ones would'a killed im." Harley continued to make the case for her intelligence. "And I was thinking…you know how when alotta people are talkin' at the same time in a busy place ya can't hear anything? Well…I thought it might be the same for yer plants! So I told him ta stay right next ta us in the thickest part a the forest, and it worked, Red! Didn't it work real well?"
"Jesus, Harley…" Selina murmured. "You're delusional."
"I ain't delusional! Puddin' loves me, really." She smiled dreamily at The Joker who blew her a kiss. "He's got my heart, Red. He locked it up and threw away the key."
"But he doesn't love you, Harley! He hurts you!" Ivy said it like she couldn't believe she was having to say it again.
"Oh, sure I do, Pammy." Joker cooed. "She's got my heart too." He winked and Harley melted.
"Does she, now?" Ivy let out another humorless chuckle. "My apologies for getting in the way of your happiness. Here, allow me." Without any more warning, a sharpened branch came alive behind Ivy.
Catwoman felt like she was watching the ordeal in slow motion. The vine jutting forwards, viciously ripping through Joker's chest and then skewering his heart on its sharp point. Ivy pulled her hand back and the branch mirrored her movements, ripping Joker's still beating heart from his chest.