In Which A BROtp Starts
It is 6:43 the next morning when Papyrus slowly wakes from his nightly nap. He feels like he's barely slept at all and his head feels like it's stuffed with Asgore's fur. As fluffy and soft as the king is, the feeling of having his fur inside one's skull is not the most pleasant feeling.
Despite how strange he feels this morning, Papyrus knows that he has to get up and start making breakfast. Maybe for the first day of a repeat he could get away with microwaving leftovers, but he has to actually make the spaghetti for real today. Sans would normally come to breakfast on the day that the human shows up, and this time he has some reason to be suspicious of Papyrus's behaviour. Papyrus knows that he has to act extra normal for his brother today to keep the suspicions off of him. It would only be a week at most until time repeats again, so he wouldn't get too exhausted by this acting. Probably.
He could always just chip his bones a little more than normal. It's not like his battle body didn't cover most of his body. Lots of space to choose from.
Shaking his head, Papyrus quickly dismissed the thoughts. He had to make spaghetti now. It would take an hour or two to simmer and cook, so he needed to get started sooner rather than later. Otherwise Sans wouldn't have the breakfast spaghetti and it would make him more suspicious.
Papyrus went down to the kitchen and started preparing the ingredients. As opposed to violence as he was, pounding the vegetables into paste felt surprisingly good sometimes.
He scraped the vegetable paste into a pot and turned on the heat. Just for fun, Papyrus decided to add some "spices" to the mixture. He wasn't sure what they do, exactly, but they looked kind of like glitter, just less brightly coloured. If glitter made spaghetti better, then maybe these spices would too.
The glitter could always be added later as a garnish or something. Wasn't experimentation and the ongoing need to improve his performance in any way he could think of something that he normally did? Adding these spices to the spaghetti sauce seemed kind of tame, but Papyrus wasn't feeling up to anything extravagant this morning. He needed to save that energy for the human when they showed up later.
Speaking of energy, a very quick power nap didn't seem too bad at the moment. Even though it contradicted Undyne's rule about more heat meaning more passionate cooking, Papyrus turned the heat down to a low temperature and sat himself on the couch. He did want the house to burn down while he napped. It wasn't as if Sans was going to wake up and catch him otherwise, so he felt reasonably safe just letting himself relax for an hour or so.
Papyrus let himself drift into a peaceful unconsciousness, the smell of spaghetti permeating the house.
It was actually more than an hour later when Papyrus was woken by heavy knocking on the front door. A quick glance at the clock told him that it was 8:34.
"JUST A MOMENT! THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL SEE YOU ONCE HE HAS FINISHED THIS IMPORTANT STEP OF THE SPAGHETTI MAKING PROCESS!" Papyrus jumped off of the couch and ran to the kitchen to fill a pot with water. No homemade noodles today. Store bought would have to do.
When Papyrus opened the door, he saw Undyne waiting for him, for once not wearing her armour. Why did she come back?
"UNDYNE! WHAT BRINGS YOU OUT TO THE MAGNIFICENT HOUSE OF THE GREAT PAPYRUS TODAY?" Papyrus asked. He was unnerved by her presence. She didn't have any reason to be here this morning.
"Hey Papyrus. I came by to talk to you and Sans. Well, kind of? I was hoping to catch you before you two started your shifts today." Undyne glanced at the ground as she was speaking. This was unusual behaviour for her, "Also, what smells so good? And can I have some?"
"OF COURSE! YOU ARE MY FRIEND, SO NATURALLY YOU CAN JOIN ME AND SANS FOR MY FAMOUS BREAKFAST SPAGHETTI! THE NOODLES AREN'T QUITE DONE YET, AND I STILL NEED TO WAKE SANS, THOUGH." Papyrus let Undyne inside and turned himself to look up to Sans's room, "SANS! YOU LAZYBONES, YOU NEED TO GET UP! WE HAVE COMPANY THIS MORNING AND IT IS IMPERATIVE THAT YOU BE PRESENT FOR BREAKFAST!"
Undyne flinched a little at the volume. She wasn't expecting it, "Is he like this every morning?" She motioned towards Sans's door.
"MORE OR LESS. SOMETIMES HE COMES DOWN ON HIS OWN, THOUGH." That hadn't happened since before the repeats.
The water started boiling and Papyrus walked into the kitchen to add the noodles. He took them out of the box first.
"Whoa, what kind of secret cooking technique is this?" Undyne watched with curiosity.
"WELL, I LOOKED AT THE BOX ONCE AND IT TURNS OUT THAT THERE ARE INSTRUCTIONS FOR MAKING THE NOODLES ALREADY WRITTEN ON IT. THE BOX SAID TO REMOVE THE NOODLES AND PLACE IN BOILING WATER FOR EIGHT MINUTES! SINCE THAT IS WHAT THE BOX SAYS, THAT IS WHAT THE GREAT PAPYRUS WILL DO! THERE WILL BE NO SUBPAR PASTA FOR ANY MONSTERS SERVED BY ME!" Papyrus explained. Despite Undyne's wise teaching, the noodles tended to cook better when they were removed from the box.
"I see, I see. Weird, but hey, it's your house." Undyne commented.
"SO... I'M NOT SURE IF I REALLY WANT TO KNOW THIS, BUT... WHAT DID YOU COME TO TALK TO ME AND SANS ABOUT?" Papyrus set the timer for eight minutes and led Undyne back out of the kitchen. He was in no mood for a house fire today.
Undyne tapped her foot on the floor a few times, "I actually think I need to talk to Sans first. It'll only take a couple of minutes for me to bug him about slacking on the job. It's going to take a lot longer, what I'm going to talk to you about."
Undyne seemed unusually calm. That alone was causing Papyrus to inwardly panic. The two stood in an awkward silence until the timer buzzed. The noodles were ready.
"I'LL... GO TAKE CARE OF BREAKFAST. WHY DON'T YOU GRAB PLATES." Papyrus requested. He turned upwards to face Sans's room again, "SANS! THE BREAKFAST SPAGHETTI IS FINISHED. YOU NEED TO COME AND GREET OUR GUEST, UNDYNE TOO! IT IS VERY RUDE TO IGNORE PEOPLE WHEN THEY COME TO VISIT!"
"well why didn't you say it was undyne?" Sans asked from immediately behind said woman. How did he manage to get there so quickly and quietly? It was usually better not to ask.
Undyne spun around to face the shorter skeleton, "You and me need to go have a quick chat about you slacking off at your posts! We should probably take this outside."
"impastable. we haven't had breakfast yet. smells good paps." Sans took a plate and served himself.
"IT IS TOO EARLY FOR YOUR JOKES! BUT YOU ARE RIGHT. YOU SHOULD NOT SCOLD SANS ON AN EMPTY STOMACH AND THERE IS PLENTY OF BREAKFAST SPAGHETTI TO GO AROUND!" Papyrus filled to remaining two plates and handed one to Undyne.
She looked at it with suspicion, but it smelled good. Sans was also almost finished with his plate, and that nerd usually only drinks ketchup. She could do this for Papyrus. Undyne twirled some of the pasta around her fork and took a bite, "HOLY SHIT PAPYRUS! This is the BEST spaghetti you've ever made!"
"R-REALLY? BUT I DID IT ALL WRONG..."
"Then keep doing it wrong! This is awesome!" Undyne started shovelling the food into her mouth.
"IF YOU SAY SO, I SUPPOSE. WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED, I'LL JUST CLEAN YOUR DISHES. THAT WAY YOU AND SANS CAN HAVE TIME TO... TALK."
Papyrus soon collected the plates and made the pile of dishes to clean. The other two monsters left the house and made their way to Grillby's for their quick discussion.
"yo grillbz, can we get a private booth today?" Sans asked upon entering the bar.
Grillby stared at the two for a moment before pointing towards the booth farthest from the door. The establishment was mostly empty again, so the two didn't really have to worry about being overheard.
"did you really want to lecture me about slacking off? because you're the one who told me to slack off yesterday." Sans asked.
Undyne began to get annoyed. Was Sans trying to set a new record for being irritating? "No, I came to talk to you about what you were doing before I told you to take a day off. Did you learn anything about Papyrus yesterday?"
"he makes pretty good pasta. no joke. the stuff he made yesterday turned out well too." Sans said.
Undyne stared at him, the fire in her eyes growing with each word he was saying. Did Sans honestly not notice anything yesterday? After a whole day alone with the guy? "Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?"
"what do you want me to say? there were a couple of weird things but nothing anywhere out of the range of normal. paps is fine." Sans argued, growing a little defensive.
Undyne glared at Sans, "What. Weird. Things?"
Sans glared back, "just cleaning things in the wrong order and some dirty clothes. Papyrus has a specific way he does things. he always cleans his clothes before he cleans anything else, but yesterday he was cleaning the house while he still had some flour on his mitten. sure, it was weird, but nothing to be concerned about."
"Flour. Is that what he told you?" The question obviously wasn't meant to be answered, "You fucking saw that and... NGAAH! How dense ARE you?"
Sans's eye lights dimmed a little. He appeared to be a little put out, "so it wasn't flour? paps lied to me?"
Undyne took the last chance she would get for next little while to vent some of her anger, "OF COURSE IT WASN'T FLOUR! There's definitely something going on with your brother and I know because I saw him doing it! Are you telling me that you saw physical proof and then just dismissed it like it was nothing!? I can't believe how thick-headed you are sometimes-"
"i think you mean thick-skulled."
"NGAAAH! NOT THE TIME, SANS! You know what? I was gonna talk to you and get you to help me make a plan to help Papyrus, but since you can't even try to think about what might be going on, I'm going to have to show you." Undyne grabbed Sans's arm and dragged him to the exit of the bar, "I'm going to have a chat with Papyrus, and you had better be fucking eavesdropping. If you never listen to any orders again, at least listen to this one! We'll be in Papyrus's room, so you have about two minutes to find a good spot to listen from."
Undyne released Sans about twenty feet from his house. The best place to listen to a conversation in Papyrus's room would from inside the room, so Sans teleported to the closet. He would probably be safe to listen from in there. For once, there would actually be a skeleton in the closet. Heh.
Undyne quickly walks back to the skeletons' house to sit down with Papyrus.
"Okay Papyrus, your turn. We're going to your room." Undyne states. She sounded as though she wouldn't take "no" for an answer.
"A-ALRIGHT! WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO MAKE YOU A WARM BEVERAGE BEFORE WE GO UPSTAIRS? TO MAKE YOU FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE?" Papyrus asked.
"I'm not going to let you stall. Bring your tea and kettle upstairs. You can make it while we're there." Undyne called him out and marched up the stairs.
"SURE. WHATEVER Y-YOU LIKE." Papyrus filled the kettle, then took two mugs and the tin of golden flower tea from the cupboard. He always has a small tin on hand for Undyne, because he knows that this tea is her favourite.
He walked upstairs with the four items and set the kettle to boil on his desk. It would only be a couple of minutes for the tea to be ready, and with any luck, the drink would help keep Undyne distracted (or at least calmer) throughout the discussion. Papyrus knew that this was not going to be very pleasant.
"DO YOU WANT TO START TALKING NOW, OR WOULD YOU RATHER WAIT FOR THE TEA?" Papyrus asked.
"Whatever you want, Papyrus. You're the one who's going to be doing the talking today. Would you rather start now, or wait for the tea?" Undyne replied.
Papyrus really didn't like how this was going, and they were only two sentences into the conversation. "I THINK I WOULD RATHER... WAit for the tea." His voice lowered in volume as he spoke.
True to her word, Undyne waited until the water had boiled and the tea was served before speaking again, "Is something wrong, Papyrus? You're never this quiet."
Back at full volume again, Papyrus tried to deflect the question, "THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAN SPEAK AT ANY VOLUME HE WISHES, FOR I HAVE PERFECTED MY CONTROL OVER EVERY ASPECT OF MY BEING! WHAT ABOUT YOU, UNDYNE? YOU AREN'T USUALLY THIS... PATIENT. YOU'RE OFTEN MORE... PASSIONATE AND INTENSE ABOUT THINGS."
Once again, deflection was ineffective, "Being passionate didn't work, so I'm trying patience instead. Can you tell me what's going on?"
"NOTHING SPECTACULAR IS GOING ON AT THE MOMENT! WE ARE JUST SITTING AND DRINKING TEA." Papyrus took a small sip from his cup to make his point.
"Cut the crap. I saw you yesterday." Undyne stated. Alphys had said not to let him try to change the subject, so she would just keep bringing it up until he decided to talk.
"WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY? THERE WAS NOTHING UNUSUAL ABOUT YESTERDAY, EXCEPT THAT YOU ORDERED ME AND SANS TO STAY HOME. WHAT IF A HUMAN HAD COME BY?"
Alphys had also said to not let him deny it either, "The dogs would have taken care of the human. Do you really want me to answer your first question?"
Papyrus lowered his voice again, "I... I don't really want to talk about it. I also don't want Sans to overhear by accident."
"Well then it's a good thing that I gave Sans some very specific orders for his job today. He had better be following them if he knows what's good for him. You shouldn't have to worry about him suddenly appearing right now. He should be occupied for a while." Undyne said, "So can you try to talk about it?"
"I-I really don't..." Papyrus trailed off.
Undyne sighed and downed her mug in few quick gulps, "I'll start you off then, but you need to add your part. When I walked into your room yesterday, I saw you holding a chisel over your own arms and dust coming out of them. Where did you even get a chisel anyways? And what were you thinking?"
Papyrus immediately jumped on the chance to talk about something else, "WELL YOU SEE, SOMETIMES, WHEN I AM RECALIBRATING MY PUZZLES AND SANS ISN'T SLACKING OFF, WE WILL MAKE SNOWSKELETONS AND ICE SCULPTURES. IT IS QUITE DIFFICULT TO CARVE ICE WITHOUT HAVING A CHISEL AROUND! ALTHOUGH SANS TENDS TO JUST WRITE HIS NAME ON THE ICE AND/OR SNOW WITH MARKER... HE ISN'T VERY GOOD COMPETITION."
There was a short moment of silence before Undyne spoke again, "And the second question?"
"I WAS THINKING THAT SANS NEEDS TO WORK A LITTLE HARDER ON HIS CREATIVITY!" Papyrus stated loudly.
"I meant while you were hurting yourself. What was going through your head?" Undyne's grip on the now empty mug was tightening. She had vowed to be the most patient monster ever. She couldn't give in to her frustration just because Papyrus was being a little difficult.
"I REALLY DO NOT WANT TO TALK ABOUT THIS."
"But you need to." Undyne argued, "It's good for you!"
Papyrus countered, "SAYS WHO?"
"Says... It doesn't matter who says. Have you ever tried talking about this sort of stuff to anyone?" Undyne asked.
"NO..."
"Then why not try? What's the worst that could happen?"
"IF YOU RESPECT ME EVEN LESS, THEN MAYBE YOU WON'T WANT TO BE MY FRIEND ANYMORE." Papyrus replied without thought.
The answer felt like a punch to the gut, "Who doesn't respect you? You're one of the most respectable monsters I know." Undyne questioned, anger rising a little.
"THEN WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD ME YET THAT YOU WILL NOT ACCEPT ME INTO THE ROYAL GUARD?" Papyrus countered, "DO YOU THINK THAT I CAN'T HANDLE BEING DISAPPOINTED? OR DO YOU THINK THAT I AM JUST SO NAIVE THAT I WOULD NOT EVER NOTICE?"
Undyne winced at the accusation. He was right, though, "I wasn't brave enough to tell you. You were always so happy about training and the chance to be in the Guard, and I couldn't bring myself to hurt you. Your optimism is something I admire quite a lot, and I didn't want you to lose that."
"SO YOU THINK THAT I AM WEAK-MINDED AND CAN'T HANDLE DISAPPOINTMENT." Papyrus stated, "IT'S SO GREAT TO KNOW THAT I WAS RIGHT."
"That is not what I said! I just wanted you to be happy because I consider you my friend and I didn't want all..." Undyne waved her arms in large circles and started shouting, "all this! I didn't want to have to sit you down and talk you out of feeling horrible because of something I did, and now I guess we're doing it anyways!"
The two monsters were quiet for a moment, "So much for patience, huh?"
"WELL, YOU LASTED LONGER THAN I THOUGHT YOU WOULD."
"And YOU finally spilled your guts a little! Who says that I don't respect you?" Undyne asked aggressively.
"NO ONE. NO ONE AT ALL." Papyrus began to sweat a little.
"Really? Because anyone who can put in even one fifth of the effort you put into training deserves my respect. Anyone who says otherwise is wrong, and you're hearing that from me." Undyne declared, "No one knows who I respect better than I do, you got that?"
"I-I GOT THAT."
"GOOD!" Undyne cheered and pumped her fist in the air, "So do you want to know why I can't let you into the Guard?"
"UM, OKAY?"
Undyne let out a breath, "It's because you're too nice. I don't want to see you ripped into smiling shreds because you didn't want to hurt the enemy." It was a blunt answer, but obviously a truthful one. Papyrus had to believe it, especially after everything he knew from the repeats. He didn't even fight back in the worst repeat, he just opened his arms to the human before they sliced his head off.
Papyrus shuddered, "I... ACTUALLY THINK I AGREE WITH YOU."
"Really?" Undyne was shocked. It couldn't possibly be this easy.
"YES I... SOMETIMES I EVEN FEEL BAD ABOUT PUNCHING THE VEGETABLES INTO PASTE. I COULD NEVER ACTUALLY HURT A HUMAN IF THEY CAME BY." Papyrus admitted. It was true. While he had captured the human several times, and been killed by them several more times, he had never actually done any really harm to the human. He had just temporarily incapacitated them to take them to his warm garage.
"Well, then I guess we'll just have to train harder at tomorrow's cooking lesson! We'll pound those tomatoes extra hard tomorrow!" Undyne exclaimed.
"YOU... STILL WANT TO DO OUR TRAINING?" Papyrus asked. He was sure that Undyne was going to stop talking to him now that she had told him he was not going to join the Royal Guard.
"OF COURSE! Because cooking with you is TOTALLY AWESOME!" Undyne shouted.
Papyrus could hardly believe his ear holes. Undyne actually wanted to hang out with him still, even without the pretense of training for the Royal Guard? (She still called it training...) Did this mean that maybe he was worth something as a monster...?
"There's just one thing, though." Undyne said. Papyrus felt his figurative heart fall through the floor., "Can you truthfully tell me that you'll never do... that again?"
"I'M... I DON'T... NO. I CAN'T SAY THAT." Papyrus admitted. Even if Undyne was treating him more like the adult he is, he didn't know if he could just stop hurting himself. When time repeats again, everything would just go back to the way it was before, and Undyne would be treating him like a child again. Then there was Sans and the human and every other person who couldn't respect him. Having respect wasn't even the only problem? He still had to help Sans feel better on the bad days, and keep acting when no one else remembers, and-
"I'm gonna stop whatever you're thinking right there. Whatever it is, it's probably wrong." What else did Alphys say about this? Of course he wouldn't want to stop it if he likes it. Papyrus would have to want to... "If you can't tell me that you never do it again, can you at least say that you'll try to help yourself get better? Try to find some reason to just not do that sometimes?" Undyne asked. She was doing her best to sound collected, but some of the desperation still leaked into her voice.
Papyrus could hear the concern from his friend. He couldn't promise her that he would never hurt himself again, but to keep his arms clean for repeats sometimes? "YES. I... I THINK I CAN DO THAT."
"ALRIGHT!" Undyne pumped her fist in the air again. What was she so happy about? "Then just one last thing." Undyne stood up, "Stand straight sentry!"
"BUT YOU SAID I WOULDN'T BE IN THE ROYAL GUARD?"
"You are still one of the Snowdin sentries, so I am still your boss. Stand straight!"
Papyrus scrambled up and stood as tall as he could.
"Tell me who you are!" Undyne commanded.
"I AM PAPYRUS, SENTRY FOR SNOWDIN TOWN."
"No. That's not who you are. Who are you?"
"BUT UNDYNE, THAT IS WHO I-"
"That's not the whole answer!"
Then it clicked, "I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS!"
"LOUD AS YOU CAN!" Undyne shouted.
"I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS AND I AM A SENTRY IN SNOWDIN TOWN!"
"And tell me one awesome thing about yourself!"
"I MAKE REALLY GOOD SPAGHETTI!"
"HECK YEAH YOU DO!" Undyne cheered and held out her fist, "Fist bump of solidarity?"
Papyrus stared at it, a little confused.
"It means we're friends, dummy."
Papyrus tapped her blue fist with his gloved one.
"So you feeling any better?" Undyne asked.
Papyrus paused for a moment. He felt better than he had in a very long time. How many repeats had it been since he felt this light?
"Y-YES I AM!"
"Good! Now get to your post! Give 'em hell, Papyrus!" Undyne said encouragingly.
"UNDYNE! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT SWEARING!" Papyrus chided.
"Well you didn't stop me earlier. Now get to it before you set a bad example for your brother."
The tea in his room now forgotten, Papyrus ran down the stairs to the kitchen. He unplugged the microwave, picked it up, and began the trek to his spaghetti trap. Maybe today wouldn't be such a bad day after all.
A distressed Sans teleported out of the closet to his station outside the Ruins.