In Which Sans Tries To Be A Good Brother
Sans stumbled against his station. His legs felt weak and he felt very shaky. He didn't trust himself to walk just yet. After what he had just heard? There were only two words he could think of to properly sum up the situation.
Holy. Shit.
There were several questions on his mind, but there were three that stood out among than the rest. The first was how he had missed it. Papyrus had never been very good at lying before. Thinking back on it, Papyrus still wasn't a very good liar. He hadn't even had to lie all, really, until Sans had asked him about the dust on his mitten. Was he such a bad brother that Papyrus couldn't tell him that something was wrong? Was he such a terrible monster that he couldn't notice the obvious signs of someone hurting on the inside so much that they had to take it out on themselves? Did he really pay so little attention to Papyrus now? Sans would claim that Papyrus was his life and often his only reason for living and continuing, but somehow he had overlooked something this big and terrible.
The next obvious question to follow the first is how long Papyrus had been doing this. Before all of this reset business (and even once or twice after it began), Sans would periodically check up on his brother's stats to make sure that he was doing alright. He didn't want to risk Papyrus hiding something harmful from him. Clearly, it didn't work. Every time he had checked, Papyrus had always had the same high HP, strong magic, clear and full soul, and generally positive statements in the description. There was nothing there to predict this. The only difference the last time he had checked was some time after the resets had started and it had said, "Concerned for his brother." It was right after the time the human had gone on a murder spree and Sans had gotten himself completely smashed at Grillby's. The statement shouldn't have been a surprise.
So when did it all start? It would be impossible to hide something like this from a stats check. His HP likely would have been lowered, his soul likely would have been less clear, and the message likely would have mentioned it or said that he was hiding some secret. It would have had to have been before the resets, if not beginning the day the resets started. Papyrus couldn't remember anything from the previous resets, so what had caused this to start?
Perhaps this was a puzzle for another time.
It didn't matter too much when it started (probably), because the biggest and most important question is why. Why would Papyrus feel the need to hurt himself? There was no way that some perceived lack of respect from Undyne was the only reason. Hell, it was barely a reason in the first place. Why would Papyrus feel the need to hide all of this from him? Sans just wanted to know why all of this happened so he could help his brother. The only way to do that would be to talk to him.
Somehow, Sans would have to get Papyrus to admit to the self harm without giving away that he already knew about it. If Papyrus ever found out that he had been listening in on his conversation with Undyne, then Sans would end up having a very bad time. If Papyrus found out that Undyne had ordered it too, she might end up in a similar situation.
Sans didn't know what he was supposed to do now.
He slumped into the snow and stared at the end of his shorts. How could he make Papyrus happy again? He wished he could ask the door lady, but she wasn't going to show up today. Today, the human would exit the Ruins.
Could it have picked a worse time? It was such a wild card in this whole reset business. Sometimes it would kill everyone it came across, sometimes it would kill randomly, and sometimes it wouldn't kill until much later. There was no way to predict its behaviour.
Sans hoped that he would at least be lucky enough to see a dust-free human this time. Those resets were the easiest. He could relax through their entire journey through Snowdin, knowing that Papyrus would be safe. Papyrus was never the first one it killed.
Except that Papyrus wasn't safe. Apparently he hadn't been safe for a long time. Sans had been so focused on the human that he somehow had missed out on the fact that Papyrus was dangerous to himself.
Sans knew a lot about feeling low. He wouldn't wish it on anyone, especially his brother.
Sans lowered the lids of his eye sockets. There was a budding idea in his mind. It was a long shot and probably had next to no chance of succeeding, but if the human was really a wild card and if he got really lucky, then maybe the human could try helping him out. Only if it was dust-free. Murderers shouldn't get second chances.
It wouldn't hurt to ask the human, in any case. If it didn't want to help or if it was feeling especially... murdery... then he could always try again on the next reset. It wasn't as if the human declining to help would change the situation from what it was now, anyways.
It was all too complicated.
Sans stood up, his joints popping lightly. He took a few deep breaths and shifted his weight between his legs. He felt reasonably confident in his ability to walk now. All he had to do for now was wait until the human showed up. How it appears would determine his next course of action.
Sans teleported to the trees outside the Ruins door and waited.
He couldn't have been waiting for much more than an hour when the large stone doors creaked open. As in the last hundred or so resets, the human emerged and began walking down the snow-covered path.
A quick glance told Sans what he needed to know. For the first time this reset, luck was on his side. The human was clean.
It was time for the old whoopie-cushion-in-the-hand trick. As expected, the human shook his hand and giggled, as if it was still funny and not actually the hundred-and-something'th time it had gone through this song and dance.
"never gets old huh? even after all this and you're still laughing at these dumb jokes." Sans commented. He was allowed to break routine. It knew that he knew about the resets.
It looked a little downcast at his statement. Maybe it was a little mean, but that thing had done enough to earn a few unkind words. That definitely wasn't just Sans taking out some of his frustration on it. Novertheless, the two continued forward to Sans's sentry station. Papyrus would be by in a moment. There was no need to tell it to hide behind the conveniently shaped lamp. It ran over and hid without prompting.
Sans made sure to pay careful attention to Papyrus during his rant about capturing the human. He didn't break script once. It was the same words, the same lighthearted jabs at his Sans's laziness, the same responses to the terrible puns, and the same laugh as he left. By all rights, Papyrus should be going way off script right now. This morning was something huge, and it had never happened before. Sans wasn't supposed to know about that, but he did. There was no way that Papyrus would act the exact same way after all that with Undyne. He shouldn't be the same.
So why was he?
There was nothing unusual at all that Sans could ask him about, other than that he was the same when he shouldn't be. Because he wasn't supposed to know anything about Papyrus's bad habit, he couldn't just bring it up.
Maybe now wouldn't be a bad time to ask the human – the kid – for help. If he was going to ask it for help, he had best start treating it like a person.
"don't worry kid, my bro's harmless. but you know that already, right?" Sans asked. The kid looked away, "noticed you didn't kill anyone yet. that's good. conscience finally get to ya?" Maybe now wasn't the best time to let his bitterness show. He was about to ask the kid for help.
To his surprise, the kid slowly nodded, "Don't wanna... hurt... -nybody."
"uh, hadn't meant that as a real question, but that's a good answer. though, if you're hell bent on bein' nice to everyone this time, i wanna ask you a favour." Sans paused as the kid looked up at him. Why did the kid look so hopeful? Did it think it was making up for past choices by helping him? Whatever the kid is thinking doesn't matter, as long as it agrees to help.
"my bro's been kinda down lately." Sans explained. The kid looked a little surprised. It had shocked Sans too, learning that Papyrus could ever be anything but "up."
"he's never seen a human before, and it would really make his day if you played along, pretended you were one." There was that bitterness again. Sans needed to learn to control himself.
"-'m human... Wanna... do good." the kid choked out.
It seemed as though the human was actually trying this time. Sans knew it was hard for them to speak, so they must actually mean it this time. That was good. If they were being agreeable, then maybe they could help Papyrus.
"thanks kid. i'd say i owe you one, but you already owe papyrus a lot more. if you can make him happy for the rest of your resets, maybe i can forgive you too." Anything was worth Papyrus's happiness, especially if it was a few cheap words that he'd never have to keep. Some day, the kid would get murder happy again. He wasn't looking forward to it.
The kid beamed and started signing words of gratitude before running off to the puzzles. Sans sighed and teleported to where Papyrus was. He had enough time to at least ask his brother a few questions before they – the human – showed up.
When had he started thinking of the human as a person?
Papyrus was waiting patiently beside the electricity maze.
"so what'd you 'n undyne talk about?" Why be subtle when he didn't have to. This could be a completely innocent question.
"SINCE YOU ARE SO INTERESTED, WE DISCUSSED MY FUTURE AS A ROYAL GUARDSMAN AND ABOUT WHEN OUR NEXT TRAINING SESSION WOULD BE. IT WAS A VERY IMPORTANT CONVERSATION, AND I THINK THAT WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER A BIT BETTER NOW! AFTER ALL, I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, CAN DO ANYTHING THAT I SET MY MIND TO! AND THAT INCLUDES BECOMING CLOSER TO MY FRIEND WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE THE ONE WHO DECIDES WHO IS AND IS NOT A PART OF THE ROYAL GUARD!" Papyrus announced enthusiastically. Sans was floored, but he didn't let it show. Papyrus didn't lie. There was so much more that had happened this morning, but Papyrus didn't say anything untrue. He was just being misleading. When did he become so manipulative?
There wasn't anything Sans could do to counter that. If Papyrus wasn't lying and didn't sound like he was lying, then Sans couldn't just call him out on it.
Damn it. He would probably be stuck relying on the kid for a while.
"so what's the scoop? you going to be in the guard soon?" Sans challenged.
"UNDYNE HAS NOT EXACTLY... GIVEN ME A DATE YET, BUT WE HAVE OUR NEXT TRAINING SESSION TOMORROW! MAYBE THEN I WILL KNOW MORE!" Papyrus was hoping that Sans would stop questioning him soon. It was uncomfortable. Why was Sans so off script this time?
"that's too bad. you okay, though?" Sans asked.
Papyrus wondered where that question came from, "OF COURSE! I AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS! I CAN NEVER BE ANYTHING LESS THAN OKAY! WHY DO YOU ASK THAT?"
"just worried you might be disappointed, is all. still not knowing when you'll join the guard." Sans answered, looking his brother in the eyes, "just want you to know i'm always here to help ya with anything."
"SANS! YOU'RE BEING WEIRD! BUT... I APPRECIATE THE SENTIMENT. I SHALL ALWAYS BE READY TO HELP YOU TOO WHEN YOU NEED IT." Papyrus replied, gently clapping Sans on the shoulder.
"you're the best bro. you know that, right?" Sans asked
"OF COURSE I AM! BUT REALLY, WHY ARE YOU ASKING THESE WEIRD QUESTIONS ALL OF A SUDDEN? IT IS NOT LIKE YOU." Papyrus stared at his brother, still not removing his hand. This behaviour from Sans was concerning. His brother was never this active unless something was wrong. Was this going to be one of the bad repeats? The human wasn't dusty, though, when he saw them standing in front of that rock.
"just felt like saying it. i don't need a reason to tell my bro how great he is, do i?"
"OF COURSE NOT!" Papyrus quickly agreed, "NOT WHEN IT IS ONE AS GREAT AS I!"
"exactly." Sans said.
For some reason, Papyrus felt unusually tense as he stood beside his brother. The questions were definitely worrying, but he wasn't sure just how much he needed to be worried. For all he knew, they were just innocent questions caused by the sudden new event. Undyne had never showed up to chat before, so Sans was probably just collecting information so that he would know what to expect in the future if this happens again.
Papyrus was taking care to act especially normal today. Sans would have exactly zero reasons to suspect that anything was amiss if he had his way.
Then the human showed up. It was time to be shocked.
Not for the first time, Papyrus was cursing his first self for messing up this puzzle. The shocks always hurt more after he had chipped his carpals and arm bones for obvious reasons. He was stuck having to mess it up every time now because of that one mistake too many repeats ago.
By the end of the puzzle, it was worth it. Even though the human had an obvious path to follow to the end of the maze, they took their time and had fun not staring at the footprints and actually trying to solve the maze the way it was meant to be done.
Papyrus felt something in his chest swell. He felt good and almost important. When was the last time the human had showed this much respect for his puzzles? It was a bittersweet feeling.
The human continued to solve all of his puzzles in a similar manner, even asking for his help once or twice when they didn't need it. This was turning out to be one of the best repeats so far, if not the best one. Sans was participating and probably talking to the human between puzzles, the human seemed to genuinely be having fun playing along, and Papyrus couldn't help but smile to himself for real as he ran ahead to each new puzzle.
It was too bad that this would have to end some day.
The human still had no dust on their clothes when they reached the gauntlet of deadly terror. They had not done any violence yet. It was a relief. Perhaps he could see this good repeat last a bit longer.
After putting the obviously unfair trap away, Papyrus went to wait at the edge of town where Snowdin met Waterfall. Unfortunately, waiting alone meant that he had too much time to ruminate.
It was sad to think that all of this fun would some day be replaced by violence eventually. Even if the human was not violent for the rest of their repeats, these fun memories would be forgotten by everyone except for himself, Sans, and the human. And Flowey, he supposed, but he wasn't supposed to know that. The saddest part is that he would never be able to share the happy memories again. Sans believed that he couldn't remember, and Papyrus couldn't break his heart by telling him otherwise. The human probably wouldn't care. They knew that Sans remembered and kept on repeating anyways.
It was thoughts like these that made him want to hurt again. He would keep it all to himself, and then he would let out the hurt that comes with it. That's all it was.
It wasn't too long before the human showed up to fight. Papyrus gave his speech about how he must capture the human to join the Royal Guard and felt terrible about lying. The human was looking at him a little strangely, but that was fine. They would just dodge his attacks with practised ease and move on like they always did when they didn't kill him.
That's what Papyrus thought until the human started stumbling on some of his bones. They were jumping and moving as if this was all completely new to them. It was odd, but the human could do whatever they wanted. They were in control of everything in the Underground.
Papyrus had to be very careful when the human's HP dropped very low. He was even more surprised when the human allowed themselves to be captured! He actually caught the nearly unconscious human!
A spark of joy rekindled itself inside him as he picked up the human and brought them to the Capture Zone (a.k.a. the garage). He knew that the human would leave soon and come back to face him again, but that didn't stop Papyrus from making sure they were comfortable first. He left them a note too.
He had forgotten how much fun it was to feel like he had accomplished something.
Even if that something was ultimately worthless in the end.
He just couldn't break out of these depressing thoughts today.
The human allowed themselves to be captured two more times before Papyrus just let them pass. He still offered to have the human come by for a hang out later if they wished, but figured that they probably had better things to do. He just wanted to go and waste time at his house until he had to report the human to Undyne, and then waste more time until his training tomorrow.
So begun the countdown until the end.
At least the human was being nice this time. Sans might even have a slightly better day when the next repeat starts. The thought made Papyrus smile a little. He went back to his house to do as he said he would and wait for the human in case they decided that they wanted to come back to see him.
What a silly thought.
After Sans had mentioned it, Frisk could see that there was something different about Papyrus. He seemed almost sad. After all of the resets they had been through, they knew most of the monsters in the Underground pretty well, especially the ones that they saw and talked to the most.
It was strange because Papyrus had never seemed sad before. This was something new, or at least something different from the original resets. Why did Papyrus look different?
Frisk did their best to make Papyrus happy by playing his puzzles the way they were meant to be played, and by letting him capture them all three times. It had seemed to work temporarily, but the sadness always came back.
Clearly something was wrong, and Frisk was determined to help. Not just because Sans had asked them to, but because Papyrus was one of their favourite monsters. Frisk didn't like to see him sad, which is sometimes why they killed him. They didn't want him to have to see them kill everyone else.
But this time they were going to be nice to everyone, no matter what the voice said.
They were going to do things right this time.
They were going to help Papyrus.
It was the right thing to do.
Playing the puzzles and letting him capture them didn't work completely, but they still had the hang out to make things right.
Armed with notes and nice cream wrappers, Frisk was filled with determination to help their skeleton friend.
A/N: So this definitely wasn't just sitting around on my computer unedited for the past week and a half...