A/N: Somebody recently messaged me asking for Killian's reaction to cop show for these Adventures in Netflix and then added that they would like the Charmings to somehow be involved. This is the result of that beautiful prompt. Thank you kind reader, you know not how much laughter you provided me even just thinking of this concept.
It had quickly become a fact of life that where Emma went, her pirate husband typically followed. As such, Killian was in every way that mattered, the deputy sheriff to both her and David. He spent enough time at the station to be considered a true member of the force, and at the end of the day Killian was actually really good at police work.
That wasn't to say that Killian didn't constantly try to distract Emma or poke fun at her father, because he always did, but Emma couldn't seem to mind. Killian managed to make rather mundane days in the station more bearable, and in this time of peace they could afford a bit of fun.
But recently, Emma had noticed a change in the manner of their Killian-sponsored amusements. As a result of his newfound place on the team, Killian started doing some 'research' on what it truly meant to be 'the law.' Sometimes he was at the library with Belle, attempting to actually understand the civil codes of conduct in Storybrooke and beyond, but other times he opted for a more…cinematic portrayal of justice.
Case in point, when Emma came home two nights before on a day she had to work late, and found him glued to the TV watching Law & Order. Emma couldn't help but laugh at his infatuation with the classic show, but again it hit home how new he really was to this world. Didn't Killian realize that those reruns were on constantly? No of course not, because up until a month ago he still had no idea how to work the remote for the Netflix.
"You neglected to tell me you lived in the most dangerous city of all time, Swan."
Emma had to explain to him that so many people lived in New York City that it only felt like a crazy amount of crime, but Killian wasn't having it. If they needed a whole department to deal with homicides then that place was a hell on earth.
When Emma tried to remind him that it was also a television show and not actually real life, Killian looked doubtful. He parroted back to her the shows line on how these were the real stories of the criminal justice system, until Emma's only hope was distraction. Dinner and some non-Netflix evening activities seemed to do the trick, at least in the moment.
Emma thought she'd fully stifled his brief infatuation with the show, but started to suspect that might not be the case when they rolled up to one of the farms on the outskirts of town for what was being called a 'goat-napping.'
"Seems to be no shortage of goats out here," Emma said as she got out of the squad car with Killian in tow. He remained quiet, but Emma glanced his way and found his silence came from confusion and shock. Killian looked truly stunned by the number of goats and Emma bit her lip to keep from smiling.
They walked over to the pen where all the animals were being housed and found David, already waiting for them after arriving on the scene first.
"Good you guys are here. I talked to Old Man Tucker. The missing goat's name is Molly. Brown fur with white spots."
"Anything particularly special about this goat, mate?" David shrugged.
"According to Tucker it's his wife's favorite." Emma scanned the group of animals before them, seeing that there was indeed a lack of brown goats with spots.
"Do they have any theories on what happened?" Emma asked.
"That's where it gets a little weird." David replied, pulling out his notepad where he still insisted on jotting witness statements down.
"You don't say. The goat case is weird. Who would ever think?" Emma shot a look to Killian that tried to be severe, but devolved into something warmer. He had a point after all.
"Mrs. Tucker thinks the goat was stolen for her – 'unparalleled cuteness.'" How her father managed to keep a straight face saying that Emma would never know. She tried to do the same as she replied.
"So basically we're looking at high school kids playing a prank or the goat getting out of the enclosure somehow."
"Yeah that would be my guess." Before Emma could make a decision on which line of investigation to pursue, a crackle came over the radio.
"David, this is your wife speaking – over."
"Why is Mom calling in?" David shrugged. Emma responded into the receiver. "What's going on, Mom?"
"Your father and I agreed to take Neal to story time at the library. Story time started ten minutes ago, and oh look – no Daddy." Snow's voice was high enough to still be considered baby talk for the sake of Emma's little brother, but Emma could hear the barely restrained hostility.
"Crap." David said aloud before responding into his own radio. "Snow we got a call."
"About what? I didn't hear anything important." Emma laughed, thinking yet again what a mistake it was to give her mother one of these radios. But when Snow found out that Killian had one, she just had to have one too.
"There's a goat missing on the Tucker farm." A beat of silence passed.
"A goat." David winced.
"That's right."
"So you're clearly with Emma, and let me guess Killian's there too."
"Yes."
"You need three people to handle a missing goat? Is it a magical goat? Or a villain in disguise threatening the safety of this town?"
"Not to my knowledge."
"Well then I don't understand. You chose to look for a missing goat over spending time with your own son?" Snow's voice through the radio was chastising, and Emma agreed, but she couldn't help the quip that came.
"Well technically it's someone's kid." Emma heard Killian laugh at her terrible pun as her father replied that he'd be at the library soon. Then he left some parting words for Emma and Killian.
"Someone should check in with the other farmer's nearby. See if they're missing any animals." David turned to leave, but stalled when he heard Killian groan aloud.
"Dave, you can't end these things on something so boring. Emma gave us a good cut away, sharp, clean, witty, which is saying something given that we're all here for a goat. To end it on 'someone should check in with the other farmer's nearby,' well, it's just not very good, mate."
"I'm sorry, what?" David looked at Killian with confusion until finally Emma filled him in.
"I caught him binging Law & Order a couple days ago." Understanding crossed David's features as he put his hands on his hips.
"So what you're looking for me to the 'dun dun' sound or something."
"That might rectify the bit of a mess you've made yes." Emma knew Killian was teasing. It was really all a joke to him (as it should be given their current 'crisis') but still watching her father's reaction was too good.
"I'm not going to say it." Killian gave a dramatic sigh, and Emma knew what was coming. "Oh alright. DUN DUN."
"There we go." Her father moved back towards his pick up truck before turning around again and pointing.
"And don't go telling anyone about this." Killian made a gesture to cross his heart and Emma managed to hold back her laughter until her Dad had driven away.
"Like that, did you love?" Emma nodded.
"How do you do that? How do you get him to engage even when he knows you're messing with him?" The sparkle of good humor in Killian's eyes made his smile all the brighter.
"It's a gift."
Emma watched as he stepped forward, his intentions to hold her in his arms clear as day until they were interrupted by a loud thump. Both Emma and Killian looked over to the shed where the sound had come from. When they looked inside and found the goat in question a total of twenty yards away from the pen, Emma shook her head.
"We cracked the case, Swan." Emma nodded, closing the door to the small building and locking the runaway goat inside before turning back towards the farm to alert the owners.
"Yeah I guess we did." Killian was quiet for a moment before replying again.
"I bet if we tell your father how quickly we solved this, we can get him to make that sound again." Emma laughed. She had no doubt that Killian was right, and Emma had to admit she was more than a little eager to watch that play out.
In the end Killian was right. David did make the sound again, but so did Killian and so did Emma. It became a rather welcomed joke amongst the strangeness of their Storybrooke sheriffing, keeping things light when their jobs seemed a little bit unnecessary, and it was all thanks to just a little too much Netflix.
Post-Note: Alright there we have it. Just the most ridiculous drabbles in this series clearly, but again I would like to thank my lovely reader. This was so funny, and I appreciate the suggestion. I've also definitely got Gilmore Girls and Game of Thrones coming at some point thanks to reader suggestions – but please, keep them coming. Movies, TV – if it could feasibly be on Netflix I'm counting it!