"Do you have news for me?" I ask in a low voice the moment my companion is out of view. Felassan fixes me with a sad look as he shakes his head solemnly.
"The people of this city continue to rebuff any attempts to engage them in talks of freedom. I am afraid that if we keep pushing, they will turn us in. It is by no small miracle they have not already done so."
"That is…unfortunate. I had hoped that seeing other free Elvhen might spur them to join us, but it appears their indoctrination runs much deeper than I ever could have imagined."
"Yes…" Felassan trails off. "But we have been moderately successful in the smaller villages. The further away from the larger cities we get, the more victorious we are in swaying them in our direction. We will continue to work on the city Elvhen, but we may need to get more creative."
Felassan bows to me and I nod, dismissing him. As he walks away down the narrow alleyway, I hear a voice coming from the street where I had asked my friend to wait for me.
Sylaise, I think to myself, my expression hardening into one of cold indifference. I reach the mouth of the alley in time to see the Evanuris reach out and run her finger along one of the girl's markings.
"To whom do you belong, servant? These markings are none that I recognize."
Thinking quickly, I step out into the sunlight behind Sylaise. "She is mine," I announce in a commanding voice. The encounter goes on as I would expect, though Sylaise leaves a foul taste in my mouth that I find it difficult to rid myself of even after she is long gone.
I spend the rest of the afternoon leading my companion around the city, showing her all the sights and wonders of Arlathan that she never got to see in her own time. I never allow her to stray further than an arm's length away from me, and even then I feel on edge. I had initially considered just taking her back to my safe house, but something in her eyes, so full of wonder and awe, stayed my hand.
When the evening draws to a close and the sun sinks beyond the horizon, the glimmering towers of crystal begin to light up from within. It is the sign that curfew has been reached, and so I begin to lead her back to the Eluvians that will take us home.
After we pass through the first, I ask her what her impressions of the city are.
"It is beautiful. And the magic is so…concentrated, I suppose it the correct term. I've never felt so alive in my whole life."
An apt observation, I think to myself.
"Yes, there is much energy to be found within denser Elvhen populations," I say out loud, keeping my eyes ahead as I wonder whether she picked up on any of the less savory aspects of the city.
"But…. There is a certain sadness there. The people are enslaved, and it is such a way of life for them that they do not understand what it means to have hope. Hope for a future without tyranny, where they are free to think and act of their own accord. I can understand why you wish to help them. But I also fear that it won't be so simple for you. You can remove their vallaslin, send them to safety, but how do you rewrite what's already written in stone for them? How do you make them understand that there's more to life than just following someone else's orders?"
How is she able to hit the proverbial nail on the head with such astuteness? I wonder, unable to keep my eyes from her. I slow my feet to a stop just as we reach the final mirror.
"And there you have hit the heart of my plight. I know that not everyone will be so receptive to my actions or intentions. They will likely wish to continue living as they do, for there is comfort in having the future already decided for you. There is fear in the unknown, and because of that, I can only help those who wish to be helped. My agents have so far been mostly unsuccessful with the Elvhen living in the cities, where their owners can keep closer watch over them. After I have sealed away their masters, they may not take too kindly to me showing my face to them again. It is a tragedy, but they will persevere, I am certain."
"At least you are trying," she offers in a tentative voice. How is she so damn good?
"But…every alternative is worse. If I do not create this barrier, if I do not seal them away…they will destroy the world. They will search for another creature below the earth, they will go to war with those who guard these creatures, they will slaughter any who stand in their way. They will not sit idly by and allow their power to wane to what it was before they had lyrium. Now that they know what it does, now that they have grown used to its effects, they will not be content to let it simply fade from their veins. And I cannot stand by and watch my people suffer for it any longer."
By now, my hands have balled into fists at my side. When she reaches out and uncurls one of my hands to squeeze it in reassurance, I find my anger ebbing away as if by her will alone.
"I will help you, however I can. I promise. I will do everything I can to learn the things you teach me, so that you can get your foci back."
What did I do to deserve this woman? Was it a twist of fate, an interception of destiny that sent her to me? Looking into her eyes now, I wonder how I could have ever doubted her honesty.
"I… Thank you. You…are not what I initially believed. There is something remarkable about your spirit that I cannot ignore. I have been isolated for so long…but it is nice to have company again."
As I stare down at her, I feel something shift inside my heart. I become acutely aware of how close we are standing, so close I can feel her sweet scent surrounding and enveloping my senses. My eyes linger on her lips as I imagine what it would feel like to taste them against my own. I quickly meet her eyes again in the hope that she missed my wandering gaze, but she has already begun to lean forward.
I know I should stop this. I know I should turn away and feign ignorance, but the moment her lips touch me, it is as though my body has already made up its mind to kiss her back. Swept away by the moment, I thread my fingers into her hair—her impossibly soft hair—and pull her closer to me, allowing the kiss to deepen.
I am vaguely aware of a pressure at the back of my neck, and it is this contact that forces me to snap out of it. I break away from her and immediately put distance between us, as though I do not trust my body not to betray me again. Her hand falls away and she lowers her head.
"I—I should not have… I am sorry. We should be getting back. It is not wise to linger in the In-Between."
It is a weak excuse, I know. As we complete the rest of our journey in silence, I feel pangs of guilt plucking away at the strings of my heart. And when she turns to go to the bedroom without so much as a word, I wish so desperately to reach out and grab her arm, to stop her from walking away from me and continue where we left off. But my brain takes over, telling me that I cannot not allow myself to be distracted from my duty.
As I get myself comfortable for the evening, I cannot stop my mind from revisiting the kiss, replaying it over and over again in my head.
Solas, you fool, I chastise myself. With a sigh of frustration, I roll over and tell myself that I will be more careful from now on.
But deep down, I know I am only lying to myself.