When she opens her eyes, she is lying in a soft meadow. The sky above her head is a bright white, no clouds or sun in view. She sits up and takes in her surroundings, noting the subtle lack of substance to everything around her.
Nothing seems…solid, she decides as she tries to figure out what she should do next.
"Heart beating, pulse racing, you are unsure if you are dreaming or if this is real."
"Oh!" She jumps to her feet and spins around, relaxing slightly when she catches sight of the spirit boy that had been standing behind her. "Kohl. Goodness. You startled me." Something tugs at the fringes of her memory, and this time she manages to grasp it firmly and yank it to the surface of her mind. She narrows her eyes in suspicion.
"Kohl…you made me forget, before. Didn't you?" The spirit boy ducks his head sheepishly, confirming her suspicions.
"It is not my intention for my presence to cause interference in your life. And so I thought it best if you forgot, just temporarily," he explains in his otherworldly voice.
"Okay well…please don't make me forget again. I prefer to remember my friends."
Kohl looks up at this and carefully arranges his face into an expression of neutrality. "Friends?" he echoes.
"Well…yes. I think that we could be friends, if you wanted."
"Friends. Yes. I think I would like that." He gives her a wide, genuine smile.
She smiles back at the boy and looks around once more. "Kohl, where are we? And what are you doing here?"
"This is my home," he answers simply.
"Well. Thanks for clearing that up," she says sarcastically, and when he fails to interpret her tone, adds, "But where is home exactly?"
Comprehension dawns upon his face and he says, "The Fade, of course."
"The—" Her mind reels. The Fade? She has been there before, of course, everyone has in their dreams, though her people prefer to call it The Beyond, where everyone must one day go. As a mage, she would occasionally become aware of the fact that she was dreaming and that she was in the Fade, but on those occasions, it had looked nothing like this.
The place she was in now was more reminiscent of the In-Between, though she could not pretend to understand its properties. The Fade she remembered, on those instances she became aware of herself, had looked decidedly more frightening. Cruel architecture, winding, twisting paths that led nowhere, and at the heart, always in sight no matter how much she traveled, was the Black City, all shrouded in a cloak of dim green light. She knows enough of the Fade to know that it is shaped by the emotions and thoughts of the dreamer, but those characteristics were a constant for every mage she had ever spoken to that remembered the physical features of the realm.
Here in this place, she just cannot bring herself to believe she is actually in the Fade. For one, the landscape is much nicer, almost pleasing to look at. Instead of narrow, claustrophobic roads, her surroundings are open and expansive, stretching off into the distance as far as she can see. Instead of a green hue tinting everything she looks at, the air here is as clear as it is in the real world, though everything has an edge of softness about it, making it surreal to look at. And instead of the Black City looming ever-present in the distance, there is a noticeable pocket of light, as bright as a sun, but she can look at it without pain.
Turning back to Kohl, she examines him. She realizes that he is distinctly more substantial in this place. Where he had seemed translucent and ethereal in the waking world, here he seems more like a true living being, although he has the same softness about him that everything else does.
"I don't understand. This is nothing like what I've experienced before," she murmurs, more to herself but Kohl still reacts.
"Questions cloud your mind, swirling, dragging you down. This cannot be real. For if it is real, then surely something terrible has happened to make it all change. Answers; you seek the solutions to these puzzles, and I can take you to one who can help."
"One who can help? A demon?" she squeaks, suddenly terrified of what might transpire here in this strange realm.
"No demons. Come." Kohl turns abruptly and glides away, leaving her with no choice but to follow.
After a time, the landscape changes and she can see that they are coming upon a body of water. The bright pocket of light stands beyond it, though it seems no closer now than it had earlier. There is a stone bench at the water's edge, and a hooded figure sits perched on its edge, facing the water so she cannot see their face.
Before she can say anything, Kohl vanishes from beside her in a wisp of swirling light. The hooded figure turns towards her, and the apprehension that had been building in her subsides abruptly as she sees that it is none other than Solas, who, other than seeming a little surprised, does not react to her sudden presence.
She slides herself onto the bench beside him, feeling nervous and more than a little awkward as she remembers the last time they were this close to one another. For a while, neither of them speaks and they are content to simply stare off across the lake at the distant glow. Finally, Solas turns to her.
"I had not expected to see you here," he admits and she glances at him from the corner of her eye.
"I'm still not convinced I know where here is. Kohl said we are in the Fade, but it is not the Fade as I remember it."
"Kohl?"
"He is a spirit of Compassion. He asked that I call him Kohl."
"Ah," Solas says in understanding. "Yes, I may have met him a time or two, though I cannot be certain. However, Compassion is not a common commodity. I think you will find that very little of it exists in the world anymore."
"Perhaps that is why he is drawn to you," she responds. "You almost seem to embody Compassion with the way you seek to help others."
"Perhaps. Or perhaps he is drawn to you. After all, he has chosen to show himself to you, to even go so far as to give you a name for himself. I may have spoken with him—or one like him—once or twice, but I have never earned the right to something so personal."
"He visited me before, while I was in your home. You had left to bathe. Though he made me forget."
"And that solidifies my theory," Solas says with a small smile. "Even the spirits of this time cannot deny the unique beauty of your soul."
The air between them seems to thicken with unspoken emotion and she finds herself thinking back to the kiss.
"Solas, about last night—" she blurts, but Solas holds up a hand to stop her.
"Please, da'len, it was my fault. I should not have encouraged it; it was ill-considered and impulsive."
"I don't agree," she says resolutely, staring straight into his eyes. "It was as much my fault as it was yours, and to be honest, I rather enjoyed it. I think you did, too, even if you won't admit it to yourself."
Solas is silent at her words, and for a moment she is afraid she has scared him off. Then he turns to her again, his eyes full of conflict.
"I…cannot deny that I enjoyed it, you are correct. But…it has been a long time and I am not sure if it is wise. I do not wish to disappoint you."
"I'm willing to take that risk, if you are," she counters, her eyes boring into his.
"I…perhaps. I will need some time to think about it. There are many considerations, and it would be kinder in the long run if we did not… We hardly know one another, but I cannot deny there is something about you, about your spirit that draws me in and speaks to me in a way I never thought to imagine."
She feels her cheeks redden and they lapse into silence again, each consumed with their own thoughts.
"Tell me about the Fade in your time," Solas says abruptly, interrupting her reverie.
"What?" she asks dazedly, slightly startled by his sudden question.
"Earlier, you stated that this was not the Fade as you remember it. What is it like in your time?"
She settles back on the bench as she thinks about the best way to describe the Fade of the future.
"Well, it's…scarier, I suppose. Much darker. Everything is shrouded in shadow and the light is green. You can get lost, but I think no matter where you are, you're always lost. The roads twist and turn and lead to nowhere, demons prowl about waiting to prey on the weary traveler or the souls of the dead, and the Black City is always right there at the center of it all. No matter which direction you look, it is always there at the corner of your eyes. It is…not a place I enjoyed finding myself in, on the occasions I remember being there."
Solas swiftly stands and strides forward towards the water.
"Solas?" she asks tentatively after several moments of silence pass. When he glances back at her, she adds, "Is this truly the Fade?"
He beckons her to join him at the water's edge and sweeps his arm out, gesturing toward the pocket of light on the horizon.
"That is Uthenera, the Golden City. Inaccessible in its entirety, but you are already aware of the fact that some have residences there, accessible only from certain locations. And when one of us grows weary of life, we can also choose to create our own little pocket of space there, where we might sleep for centuries, only to emerge back into our bodies some time later. Some may choose to remain there forever, and their worldly body will eventually decay. They will, in truth, be gone from this world, though they will live on in Uthenera."
"So if you do what you've set out to do, if you succeed in sealing them away, trapping them in Uthenera, won't you also be trapping other sleepers who might wish to return to their bodies some day?"
"It is a sacrifice I must be willing to make, for the greater good," he answers solemnly.
"But won't the Evanuris' bodies eventually decay? I thought you didn't want to kill them outright."
"Yes, their bodies will decay after a millennia or so. But the first of my people do not die so easily. Though their original bodies may be gone, should they be released from their prison in Uthenera, they would be able to transfer themselves into another body. I had hoped that Mythal… But she has not shown herself to me thus far. I remain hopeful that she is out there somewhere, biding her time and waiting for the right moment to reappear. Or perhaps she truly is gone forever. In either case, my goal remains unchanged."
"I'm sorry, Solas. I'm sorry that you have to face these difficult decisions. You deserve a life better than that." She reaches out and touches his shoulder, feeling the tension in his muscles beneath her hand.
"I will do everything in my power to save my people from this fate," he whispers. She squeezes his shoulder in reassurance and he turns toward her again.
"Will you show me your Fade?"
"I…I don't know how to do that," she mumbles, distracted by the sudden intense look in his eyes.
"Think about what it looks like. Shape it in your mind. And then, will it into your surroundings."
She hesitantly closes her eyes, pulling up her memories of the Fade as she remembers it. She sees the rocky landscape, the shadows pulling at her peripheral vision, the press of despair upon her very being. When she opens her eyes, she half-expects her visions to be reality, but it is as unchanged as ever, with Solas staring down at her expectantly.
"I—I'm sorry, Solas. I don't think I can do it," she stammers apologetically. His gaze softens and he brings his hands up to rest on either side of her head.
"Think about it again, and this time let your memories flow into me. Concentrate on the presence of my hands so that I may shape your visions into being."
This time when she pulls forth the memories, she is acutely aware of the power in his hands and she directs her energy into him. When she hears Solas let out a gasp, her eyes fly open.
They are standing in the Fade, the Fade as she has always known it. Even though she knows it isn't real, she finds herself trembling in fear. Solas wears a horrified expression as he turns in circles to take in his surroundings. A shadow passes behind him and she claps her hands to her mouth.
"Solas!" she gasps, reaching out to grab his arm. "Behind you!"
Solas whips around. There, forming in the air before them, a Pride demon appears, glaring down upon them both. Solas backs his body into hers, shielding her from the demon's gaze.
"You dare to enter my realm?" the demon demands in a deep, grating voice.
"How can it see us if this isn't real?" she whispers, her voice trembling in terror.
"I may have shaped this Fade from your memories, but why should that mean it is not real?"
"Silence, interlopers! You will not speak unless spoken to!" roars the demon, its hot breath blasting down upon them as if from the belly of a dragon.
Solas is panting now as he raises his hand, unleashing a torrent of greenish-white energy at the demon. But instead of harming the demon, it only serves to enrage it further.
"Fools!" it booms, taking a step towards them and causing the ground below their feet to shake and shift.
As they back away, she gradually becomes aware that the scar on her palm from where Solas' orb had seared itself to her is beginning to itch. Glancing down at it, she is shocked to see that it almost appears to be split open, and a glowing swirl of amethyst energy swims within the tear, growing, demanding to be released.
Without quite knowing what she's doing, she holds her hand up to the demon just as it swings its arm back to strike. A beam of raw, crackling energy pours from her hand and into the demon. Where the magic strikes the demon, its skin boils and hisses. It throws back its head and shrieks, causing the hair on the back of her neck to stand in alarm. It takes a step forward.
She struggles to maintain the power coming out of her body as the demon bears down on them. Her vision becomes blurry as she feels her body begin to weaken. Abruptly, she becomes aware of a pressure on her free hand and realizes with a sudden clarity that Solas is now pouring his own power into her. With a fortifying determination, she renews her focus on the demon, turning the influx of energy onto it with unyielding force.
The demon stumbles and falls, and its body begins to come apart in chunks as pieces of jagged shadow rip away from it and disappear into the air. Within moments, the demon is completely gone, though her ears still ring from its tortured screams. Solas is looking at her in wonderment, his mouth slightly agape as he struggles to find the right thing to say.
He steps back from her and waves his hand over their heads. In an instant, the horrible Fade vanishes. It is replaced by the Fade of the past, for she knows now that it truly is the Fade.
"How?" he breathes as he searches her eyes. "How could it be that way?"
"I don't know. It's always looked that way, at least that I'm aware of." Worry furrows her brow. What had happened to change the Fade in such a way?
"Am I responsible for this? Could it be that the barrier I will erect will have unforeseen consequences to such an extreme degree?"
"I don't have the answers, Solas. I'm sorry. I wish I knew."
She watches the turmoil behind his eyes as he fights to solve this mystery. Finally, defeated, he sighs and reaches out to cup her jaw in his hand.
"You were…magnificent, da'len. You harnessed the power of the orb without having it in your possession and you fought with a brilliance to match your soul. I am so proud of you."
Her cheeks flush at his words and she tries to look away, but his palm against her face holds her fast. She gazes up, losing herself in the stormy blue pools of his eyes. Her breath catches in her throat as he leans forward and captures her lips against his own.
Humming with content, she allows her eyes to flicker shut and melts into his mouth. Her hands find his shoulders and she threads her arms around the back of his neck, letting the warm weight of his braids rest against her forearms. His arms wrap around her waist and he pulls her further into the embrace, deepening the kiss with fervor.
His tongue slides against her lips, seeking entrance to the heated depths of her mouth. She gladly grants him access and their tongues swirl around each other in a seductive dance. She moans softly into him and his fingers tighten around her in response.
As they come up for air, their foreheads touch and they attempt to catch their ragged breaths. Their eyes mingle for a moment, and she sees nothing but raw emotion in his.
"I wish I could kiss you all day, lethallan," he whispers against her lips. "I am loathe to admit it, but I am afraid it is time for us to wake up."
As the final two words leave his mouth, the world turns black around her. When her eyes pop open again, she is no longer in the Fade. She sits up with a gasp, finding herself back in the white bed once more.
Although the kiss did not occur in the real world, she lifts her fingers to her lips, feeling the memory of the pressure his lips made against hers. She lays back against the soft pillows with a sigh as a blush creeps up her neck, and she finds herself wondering if Solas is feeling the same things.
If that kiss is any indication, she thinks to herself as she snuggles into the warm embrace of the bedding, then I'd say the answer to my question about taking risks is definitely a yes.