Battle Of Fake Karakura Town
Ichigo vs Ulquiorra
"Hey woman. Aizen said you are no longer useful to me and that the heroes are free to rescue you. It would make my job easier but I will just not kill you."
"Why? Is it so you can give Ichigo a reason to fight you?"
"Yes but I also wish you knew how to take a hint."
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Orihime Fun Fact
Orihime does not know how to take a hint that Ichigo doesn't like her but Ulquiorra does
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"Orihime I have come to rescue you-oh crap."
"What's wrong Ichigo?"
"Ulquiorra is what's wrong."
"Hello Ichigo Kurosaki. Use your full power."
"I already have my bankai out."
"No your other full power."
"I can't."
"Well I will just kill you then."
Ulquiorra then made a terrible swordsman move and just ran at Ichigo at full speed with his sword pointing outward. Ichigo easily dodged it.
"All the sudden I can suddenly read your attacks. Its unlikely I have become more hollow and maybe you became more human."
"You fool. I am a Vasto Lorde. Of course I look human."
"No I mean you finally grown a heart."
"What is a heart Ichigo?"
"God dammit. I mean you finally grown emotions."
"Your an idiot. I only fell in love with the woman for a month at most."
"Did you just say you fell in love with her?"
"I never said that."
"If that's the case I won't fight you all out than."
"Fine. I will just fire a cero at Orihime."
"Go on then."
Ulquiorra charged a cero but fired it at the ground at the last moment.
"You missed."
"You see the sun reflected off the floor so it only looks like I missed her but she is dead."
"You're an idiot. Orihime is still alive and the floor is what is hurt."
"How dare you call me human, say I have a heart which I don't know what it is or say I have emotions."
"Your voice is changing. It looks like you do have emotions and I just hurt them."
"Piss off."
"Alright just let me take Orihime and go."
"No."
"What is stopping me from taking Orihime and leaving?"
"I am."
"Who asked you to?"
"Aizen."
"Aizen said that I was useless to him and there is no reason I should remain alive but you haven't killed me yet."
"I just want to defend her."
"Defend her from what? I'm not going to do anything."
"Guys I am being attacked by Aizen's fangirls!"
Ichigo sighed.
"If you use getsuga tenshou, you will end up..."
"Getsuga Tenshou."
Ulquiorra blocked that attack by deflecting it.
"Ulquiorra?"
"Shut up Loly I didn't block it for the likes of you."
"Who did you block it for then?"
"Ulquiorra is in love with Orihime."
After an hour
"Now that you've finally used your vizard mask, I will crush you when I am not even at my full power."
"Stop stressing it out. I know you are more powerful than I am."
"No you don't. Why do you keep fighting me?"
"Because I have no other choice dumbass."
"So you think you are stronger than me?"
This scene is censored because of how terribly Ulquiorra beats up Ichigo.
"Before I kill you, I want to know do you still think you are stronger than me?"
"No. I never ever said I was stronger than you."
"Well I am winning. I might as well use it. Resurreccion Segunda Etapa."
"Behold I am emo batman and I will kill you for thinking you are smarter than me and not telling me what a heart is."
"God dammit. Ulquiorra I have a last request."
"Okay what is it?"
"Tell Orihime how you feel. And stop being an asshole to her. You will never be with her if you are an asshole."
"Woman! Ichigo said he loves you. Also I am going to kill your friend!"
"I apologize. That came out wrong."
"Woman! I despise every second of being around you."
"Real smooth Ulquiorra."
"Let me try again. I am going to blow a cero through your friends body."
"Ulquiorra is trying to confess is feelings for you."
A few minutes later hollow Ichigo shows up and beats up Ulquiorra.
"Hey Ulquiorra. What the hell happened to you? You look like a piece of paper."
"How dare you call me that! But highspeed regeneration is not working out for me."
"Let me attach you to a kite and give you to Orihime."
"I finally figured out what a heart is."
"You finally sprung emotions after my hollow soul had to beat the crap out of you to get to the chewy emotional center."
"I will cero you."
Ulquiorra began evaporating to dust.
"Oh. Well bye bye Ulquiorra. Ulquihime is no more. Instead Ichihime will triumph."
"Fuck you. Oh by the way Orihime I want to hold your hand before I die. I also want to be an asshole at least one more time."
"This is the most emotion I have ever seen you show." Said Orihime.
"Give me a break I am dying. Peace out losers. Also I am stronger than Aizen. Remember Batman vs Superman also..." Ulquiorra finally faded to nonexistence.
"That was very unusual." Said Orihime.
"People have a change of heart when they are faced with death."
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Espada Fun Fact
While it is unknown if Ulquiorra fell in love with Orihime, it is true that Ulquiorra never felt any emotions until he met Orihime. In my opinion, Ulquiorra definitely fell in love with her and that is why the twelfth opening of Bleach is my favourite.
