Battle Of Fake Karakura Town

Starrk Halibel and Barragan entered through the garganta With their fraccions.

"Okay espada. Remember fight exactly as planned." Said Aizen.

"You mean all of us fight to a point out opponents defeat us then you kill Halibel for no reason then send Tousen to die and kill everyone yourself? Maybe you should stick with killing everyone yourself and if possible sending Tousen to die." Barragan explained.

"You foolish espadas! You thought Aizen will help you!" Yamamoto yelled.

"I'll give you my fraccions if he enters the fighting within 30 minutes of it beginning." Said Halibel.

"Hey which one of you is the weakest?" Asked Kyoraku.

Starrk raised his hand, Barragan pointed at Aizen, Halibel pointed at Gin, Aizen pointed at Barragan, Gin pointed at Aizen when his back was turned and Tousen simply said "The blond chick that is apparently my skin color." While pointing at Gin.

"Hey I am not blond!"

"Head Captain, you know they are lying when they say Aizen is the weakest." Said Soi Fon.

"Very well. I will just use my zanpakuto on them."

Yamamoto imprisoned Gin Aizen and Tousen in a fire wall. Or a furnace as Gin calls it because it sure as hell aint a fire wall like what Yamamoto said.

Starrk's reaction

"Oh no! Those flames are so powerful, I think I'm gonna die, look at my hair its flying!"

Starrk's mental reaction

"Hopefully by acting like this I get the weakest captain."

Barragan's reaction

"Meh."

Barragan's mental reaction

"Meh. It's a bit hot but... wait, this means, Aizen is dead right?"

Halibel's reaction

"Meh"

Halibel's mental reaction

"I can control water and my fraccion can summon a giant monster. How the hell can I possibly match this guy. At least he aint Barragan."

"Okay Espada. I am leading this invasion. Anyone got any problems?"

"Yeah! You suck as a leader! I would rather follow my own enemy into battle against their own kind!"

"Shut up Halibel. All you can do is hide away where no one can see you and do things everybody knows your doing but prefers not to say like the rat you are!"

"I am not a rat I am a shark. And you are an old withered skeleton! Go to hell."

"If I am not already you're in the wrong place."

"You're just a sucky king wanna be."

"Does anyone else..."

"I should be the leader. Everybody loves me for who I am and not my stunning good looks."

"Excuse me, nobody not even Aizen loves you for who you are and frankly, not even Szayel Aporro appreciates you for that. Also good looks? You have a mask to hide your ugly face."

"You call it ugly. I call it the youth you never dreamed existed."

"That's it, Espada initiate operation point my blade at Halibel!"

"Um Barragan."

"What Ggio?"

"Operation point my blade at Halibel is just a code name for operation point my blade at Aizen."

"Shit. Everyone, commence operation point my blade at Aizen!"

"Actually that is just what it sounds like."

After a few hours of fucking around

"Hey can you please move your fraccion please? I want to fight all out." Said Kyoraku.

"Nah I won't move her. I don't wanna fight all out either. Let's pretend to fight while everyone else kills eachother."

"Sounds good but that ain't an option."

"Oh."

Kyoraku unsheathed one of his blades and attacked Starrk who easily blocked that attack.

"Oh no. Please go easy your too strong. I don't think I can handle this."

"That sounds kind of gay. Also that attack was way to powerful."

"Well I am lucky I got the weakest espada. I am the strongest captain."

"God dammit I am really unlucky."

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Barragan watched as Nerge and Ggio messed with their opponents. Nerge wasn't even trying and Ggio was playing sondio-shunpo tag.

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Yamamoto noticed all the lieutenants were getting messed up by the creature that Halibel's fraccion summoned.

"Hey you!"

Allon turned its head.

"Pick on someone your own size!"

Yamamoto burned a hole through Allons chest.

"There now you look like a real hollow you ugly motherfucker."

Yamamoto then burned Allon to the ground.

"How dare you lieutenants require my help to take this thing down!"

"My name is Emilou Apacci."

"My name is Franceska Mila Rose."

"My name is Cyan Sun Sun."

"You killed our left arms. Prepare to die."

"I burn you now. You are not worth my time."

Yamamoto used his zanpakuto and burned the three fraccion.

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"Wait a second. My fraccion are dead. Who killed them? Is it those two pretending to fight Starrk? Those two messing about with Barragan? The one defending the lieutenants? The one lighttting my fraccion on fire or the one I had my eye on this entire time? Its between the four espada fighting captains surely. I think it is you!"

"You dumbass I didn't kill your fraccion. Also they are still alive." Said Toshiro.

"That's just what the killer of my fraccion would want me to think."

"Look. Your fraccion have scorch marks all over them and I use ice powers so the only logical explanation is that I burned them with my ice powers."

"Exactly. Glad we are on the same page."

"Why do I always get stuck with stupid people?"

"Why do I always get stuck with perverted people?"

"I am no pervert. You are the lesbian who gets emotionally attached to your sex toys!"

"He only saw me once and you were not even there."

"I swear do you espada do anything constructive? I know this because all you and the old man do is argue like a married couple."

"Shut up you killed my fraccion."

"You're dumb. They're alive and I didn't do anything to them."

"I will beat you up in your bankai with my base then telegraph all my moves because I am an even bigger idiot than people care to realize."

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Halibel is actually a massive dumbass. When you watch the battle between her and Toshiro enough, this seems to be exactly how the fight went.

XXXXXXXXX

"Yay! I am owning you in my base. Let me release and use water powers against the ice opponent which burned my fraccion."

"Oh my god! Are you retarded? I think you might be the stupidest person I ever met."

"Oh yeah. Well let me show you my IQ."

Halibel unzipped her jacket and showed her espada number.

"Your IQ is the same as your espada number?"

"That's what I say to Yammy."

"Well you should be ashamed. Yammy is smarter than you are if that is true."

"Hunt Tiburon."

"Really? Water against an ice opponent? You were doing just fine."

"But now I'm fabulous. Like what you see?"

"Not bad. Too bad there's more in front than on top."

"Are you saying I am bottom heavy?"

"Wow. Double D means Double Dumb. Quite the opposite you dumb bitch."

This scene is censored because of how terribly Halibel beats up Toshiro. I will use this time to tell you that if Rangiku and Halibel fought, I can imagine Toshiro in the middle be squashed by both of their "assets".

"You dumb bitch. You may have beaten me up but you telegraphed all your moves at the same time. I am going to finish this."

"Oh no. Ice flowers are growing all around me. I can easily escape this with one of the moves I revealed but this prison seems rather comfy. Maybe I could turn some of it into water than boil it."

"Well finally. I don't know what's stopping me from killing you now but I will just wait."

Meanwhile at Starrk's battle

"Oh so you're not the weakest espada? She was? Well I am hoping you are number 2 and the old man is number 1."

"I am sorry but Tite Kubo decided a gun that shoots ceros is more dangerous than the power to age absolutely everything as well as freeze time and command people to age."

Starrk revealed his espada number.

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"Hey you could've won." Said Ggio.

"What?"

"You see you planted a strike already but now you could've flashstep to me any moment you wanted and delivered the second strike."

"I understood everything up to when you said flashstep."

"Come on. Flashstep double tap."

"Flashstep what?"

"You could flashstep toward me and strike me twice. Wait why am I telling you how to defeat me?"

"My inability to realize everybody can use my zanpakuto better than I can distracted you fatally."

"What?"

"I delivered the second strike when you weren't paying attention."

"Hey captain I defeated my opponent."

"Yeah I don't care I am going to fight the espada."

"You fool! I am more powerful than anything you've ever seen? You will be paying dearly for your actions."

"I am going to sting you once then take forever to deliver the next strike."

"Not gonna happen. I control time."

Barragan placed his hand on Soi Fon's shoulder.

"How did you get there so fast?"

"I froze time and traveled there. Also your arm is broken."

"Wait, why couldn't you take away the arm with my zanpakuto?"

"What?"

"You also could've touched my neck. That would've killed me."

"I have no idea what you are saying."

"If you touch my neck and age it, it could break my neck, and I could die."

"I have no idea what you are talking about. How do I break your neck again?"

"And I thought I was in denial."

"Hey captain lets release our limiters."

"We don't have limiters dumbass."

"You mean everybody has been fighting all out this entire time?"

"Yes. Kyoraku's fight is an exception obviously."

"I will skip killing you and release."

"Okay. Let me use my bankai and fire this giant missile."

"That's a dildo."

"Oh sorry. Both are so big, I always get confused."

"Hey I think Szayel Aporro wanted one. Can you give on to him?"

"Why? Isn't he dying over the course of the next few million years?"

"No. He is just gay."

"Oh. After this I will give one to him."

Soi Fon fired her bankai at Barragan.

"I can literally escape this smoke cloud any time I want but it is very comfy in here. I think I might stay here a while."

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"You see my lieutenant, she is also frustrating. She always... wait the attention is on us? Shit."

Starrk and Kyoraku started fighting for real.

"Hey. I will show you my bankai and shikai if you show me your cero and release."

"Okay."

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Yeah of all the fight is pretty sane.

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"Hey Espada quit fucking around. Otherwise I will unleash Wonderweiss, Tousen and Gin on you!"

Halibel and Barragan broke out of their smoke cloud/steam bath.

"I only came out because Tousen is a nightmare." Said Barragan.

"Oh I know."

"He talks about justice non stop!"

"He interrupts captain meetings just to talk about justice."

"You guys had it easy. Have you ever been punished by spending the day with Tousen?"

"As he ever followed you to your barracks to preach justice to your squad?"