Aizen vs Halibel vs Szayel

"Hey Gin, if superman could where one piece of clothing only, what would it be?"

"It would be an apron. Just normal clothes one minute, turns into a cape the next."

"I think I will torment the espada by wearing only my coat today."

"That's not a good idea."

"Why?"

"Because Nnoitra, Szayel, Aaroniero, Yammy, I swear they will always make you feel bad about your intimate areas. You know what will happen if Szayel sees you with nothing but a coat."

"Yeah you're right. Or are you?"

"Do you have a plan Aizen?"

"Gin. I only have one plan and that plan is awesome. It covers everything."

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Hello Halibel. Would you like to see my sword?"

"If I look at your sword, I become hypnotized so no."

"Wow Aizen. Was that part of your plan?"

"It actually wasn't. But don't worry she is already hypnotized."

"Maybe you should make some arrancar who's sole purpose is to pleasure you." Gin suggested.

"Right. Would you like some?"

"I'll let you know."

Aizen spotted some random female arrancar.

"You there! How would you like to become my personal slut?"

"Aizen, I don't think..."

"Oh my god! Aizen asked me to be his slut! My name is Loly Aivirrne."

"See Gin. Popularity is what counts."

"Wait. Aren't you supposed to be terrorizing espada?"

"Oh yeah. Halibel! My sword is aching to be touched. If you don't someone else might take it?"

"Relax Loly you're mine forever."

"I'll touch it Lord Aizen!" Szayel sonido'd to Aizen's service.

"What the? Szayel what happened to your lips?"

"I put black lip gloss to make them look like Ulquiorra's. Hey Aizen, now that I have Ulquiorra's lips, how can I kiss your ass with them?"

"Loly please remove this unwanted presence."

"Fuck off you dumb faggot! Aizen's manlihood is only to be touched by me. It is mine! You here me? Mine!"

"Wow Aizen. She does her job so perfectly. Is she part of you're plan?"

"Totally. Halibel is going to pay for ruining my awesome plan."

"How do you intend to do that?" Asked Gin.

"Gin. Get the penis ruler."

"Where am I supposed to get that?"

"Szayel's duh."

"Loly do what you were made to do. Give me all you got."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"Okay. Even with the hogyoku you are still can't beat Nnoitra."

"Dammit. Why did Nnoitra's have to be so big. Oh well looks like he will be the one who has to do it. I was hoping to save him the trouble seeing as he hates Halibel and all that."

"I just noticed. You me and Tousen are like one small family. We can survive every entoxicating thing we do together. Such as your plan, me being me and Tousen's justice."

"Yeah. We are totally a family. No arrancars allowed though."

"Okay, tell Loly to come back in."

"Loly. Aizen commands you come back in."

Loly came walking back onto the balcony of Las Noches.

"Hey Loly. What's the matter with you?"

"Something told me that women are better lovers than men."

"I know that's not true. What told you?"

"A blonde espada."

"She was only out for 5 minutes and Halibel already did that to her? She must be trying to find a way to score points on me. Gin, get Nnoitra on the operation. Meanwhile I will instruct Loly who's the better lover and why."

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey Nnoitra. Aizen wants you to rape Halibel."

"Why can't he do it? I could lend the giant dildo one of the captains gave me. I think her name was Soi Fon."

"Oh yeah. Her bankai looks like a sex toy. Also what are you doing here?"

"She gave me a modified version so that it is portable. I call it the magic dildo. Also I am spying on Nnoitra. I am planning on tentacle raping him."

"Hmm. Let me call back."

XXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey Aizen. Szayel made some kind of super dildo which is bigger than Nnoitra's."

"Then why don't we use Szayel as the tool of revenge."

"Yeah. Szayel Aporro might be the ultimate weapon against Halibel."

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey Halibel. I have something for you!"

"Szayel, why are you in your released state?"

"Well I am transporting something that Tousen told me to make and inject all the espada with. Apparently there is some new policy to prevent disease and all that."

"Oh."

Szayel pulled out a purple ball out of on of his sacs.

"Here eat this."

"Well I can definitely argue with the taste. Why do I feel horny all the sudden?"

"I lied. I fed you a drug in the name of Aizen."

"Hey Szayel. Wanna go somewhere private?"

"Why?"

XXXXXXXXXX

"Gin, Aizen, Nnoitra help me! Halibel is trying to rape me!"

"You know I think Halibel is going to wake up and realized she just fucked Szayel, then she will feel really bad. Hey Gin get this on tape." Aizen ordered.

XXXXXXXXXX

"You see espada. This is why you need to use common sense before making decisions. I am looking at the two gay espada in the room."

"I just can't believe you are not wearing anytning but your coat." Said Grimmjow.

"What is that thing anyway?" Asked Yammy.

"Yammy. After what happened to Szayel and Halibel. You do not want to upset my thing. This happened because Szayel tried to hit on me and Halibel refused to bow before the presence of my thing."

"This really sucks. I got raped by a woman and its on tape."

"How do you think I feel. I was drugged and knocked up by you of all people."