Chapter 13

Blond hair woman finished packing, when she heard the screech of a lock on the front door. She froze with the beautician in the hands. I have to quickly pack. - went through her mind. She felt a shiver of anxiety, running down her spine.

When she zipped her suitcase - she heard a noise .

"Who the hell put here?" - inauspicious, manly voice pierced the silence.

She shook her head in disbelief and ran quickly down the stairs.

"God, Andrew! Be careful! "- she said, when he tried to get up.

"Just shut up! I saw you today with my friend. "

She closed her eyes, breathing nervously. She did not want another brawl. Not before her leaving for the movie set. But she could not resist. Ther will again be persecuted and he told her something that she would never have done.

"I was not with any of your colleague. I was preparing myself for pack to the movie-set. Todd called me that rehearsals start earlier. "- she responded quickly, her voice rising.

"Bitch! Why are you repress again? "- he said. "Earlier trip, really? Just really? I already know what, you're planning. You would love to leave me soon. What kind of wife are you, when you lied to me!"

"Jesus, Andrew! You're drunk. Are you crazy? "

She closed her eyes. She was trembling all over her body. Why today it seemed to her that it is otherwise.
Before she knew, she felt a strong hit on the cheek. She swayed. She felt how much it stings the skin.

"You lied to me with the leaving term. You said that the rehearsals will be starting in two weeks. That will not do! You should be obedient, but of course - these your secrets. "

"You're drunk!" - she said with a trembling voice. She felt tears coming to her eyes. "It came out now. We have a lot of things to discuss before we started shooting. Do not force on me something, I would never have done! "

"I put nothing past women like you." - Andrew hissed and struck her again. When she tried to defend herself, he beats her harder.

She felt like she had no breath.

Suddenly, she jumped up and opened her eyes. The scene was gone, the scene was blurred. And the only thing that was certain, is how quickly her heart was beating. She sighed loudly and looked around quickly. It was not her home, but a hotel room. She looked to the side and froze. Rooney slept beside her, cuddled up between the sheets. She was breathing slowly and calmly. Cate's face could be seen a slight smile.

"Gosh, my sweet baby!" - Cate thought, trying to calm down after a dream. "Why every time it haunts me. Even in a dream, do not give me rest. I'm going to Australia ... probably this is the main reason. Again, I get nervous. "

For a moment, she stared at the Rooney's face. She was so lovely and quietly. Closed eyes encircled by a group of dark, long lashes. Black hair in disarray surrounded her alabaster face. Lips were red, slightly ajar. In her hand she held a crumpled quilt. The other hand rested quietly next to the pillow. Cate gaze shifted to Rooney's fingers. She just loved her fingers.

That night was different than their first time. More emotionally. Gently. Slowly. Without any haste. to the borders of pleasure. Pure pleasure.

She remembered exactly well Patricia's moans and sighs. The blonde smiled to herself and stretched lazily. She remembered how younger woman hands moved down on her back. How she bit into her own neck and a place just below the collarbone. This, when both, almost at the same moment, were near to the heaven. Again, with the tears. Utterly breathless. They just looked at each other faces. Both ladies still shared this one magical moment - hugged tightly.

Cate sighed and glanced at her watch.

5:30 am.

Time to get ready. Although she did not want to move out. Blonde woman glanced again at sleepy woman and smiled. She improved her quilt and after a longer moment she got out of bed completely naked, moved toward the bathroom.

She put on jeans and a black shirt, tying her hair in a messy bun. Cate pieced together clothes, which was scattered on the floor.

I could not go out without any word. - woman thought, looking at the sleeping figure. She could not leave her without any word, after all of this. She opened her calendar, found a piece of paper.

The worst thing is waking up, after a hot, erogenous night, realizing that you are alone in bed. - Cate thought.

She closed her blue eyes. Blonde woman did not think too much, about what she can write. The words came slowly. She began to write. Cate read letter again and smiled to herself. She wondered how the younger girl would react. She was not sure if she gave Rooney her mobile number. She wrote on the back of sheet - her mobile number and landline too, adding above in the capital letters "READ ME PATRICIA. x C."

Elder woman glanced at her wrist watch. She has not been so much time, but she could not resist. Cate went quietly to the bed and wrapped Rooney tightly by duvet She kissed her gently on the forehead, whispering: My lovely angel, I will be miss you.

Airport check-in went quickly. Cate took with herself only a small luggage.

In the end, the plane took off. Blonde woman sat near to the window. She put on her earphones, where she heard a familiar voice:

"Even if you were a million miles away
I could still feel you in my bed
Near me, touch me, feel me "

She smiled just by a corners of mouth. She could not stop herself. The last scene created by Todd was like a prelude, to what has happened later in the evening.

"Looking in the sky I could see your face
And i knew right where I'd fit in
Take me, make me
You know that I'll always be in love with you "

Cate looked out the window. She felt, how her stomach clench. Love? How is it possible that from the one side it felt so well, and somewhere in the depths of so badly at the same time. She could no longer lie to herself that just nothing happened. Everything just happened, knocking her world upside down. For the first time in years she felt something so amazing and breath-taking. She knew that she is falling in love with a younger actress. She could not escape from that. She couldn't stop it.

Elder woman felt like those feeling penetrates her soul and makes it flourishes again. On the other hand, she is terrified about her conversation with husband. The boys are little - she felt that will love Rooney too and accept their mother choice.

Trade something off against something? For what her husband is capable? She was not sure. She sighed softly.

This week will be heavy. - elder woman thought, and closed her eyes.

Dream came out of nowhere.

Rooney woke up, opening her green eyes. She vaguely remembered her dream, someone took her. Someone kissed her. Someone whispered that she is an angel which one she will be miss. Someone. Cate?

Slowly still sleepy mind, came memories of the previous evening. Talking with an elder woman. And then ... Her lips. This tension. Last night was completely different, than our first time together. - she thought.

She turned, looking at the empty space in the bed next to her. She moved her hand on it. I bet that Cate had to go earlier. - thought the dark-haired actress. She moved slowly and buried her face in the pillow next to her. She could easily smell the scent of a blonde woman.

"Cate." - she whispered softly, hugging the pillow tighter. Her eyes ran slowly around the room. She noted that scattered clothes were folded on a chair opposite the bed. Her eyes moved to the table. Folded in half white card with some words. She rubbed her sleepy eyes and jumped out of bed.

Rooney felt cold, she reached for the quilt and wrapped her naked body in it. On the table it was also a breakfast and a small thermos. It was covered by another plate, on which was attached a small piece of paper.

"Hello, my angel.
I thought, You'd get hungry.
x. C. "

Cate is amazing ... How much I would give to be with her right now. - younger actress thought.

Right next to plates lie the keys to the room and protruding card, which was wounded her before. The girl moved her eyes on that - "READ ME, PATRICIA. x C. "

Her heart immediately beat faster. At this time there was nothing important. She took the latter and sat back on the bed. With trembling hands unfolded it and began to read.

"Dearest,

I sit and I can see your sleepy figure between the sheets. I can not go out without any word. I can only imagine, how horrible it must be, when after a hot, amorous night, the place next to you in the bed - is empty.

Therefore, before leaving I tried to do everything to somehow compensate you this alone morning. Believe me, I'd give anything to be able to see your sleepy face. To be able to tell you,about what am I thinking right now.

I think it would be easier for me. Although certainly somewhere in the middle of my soul - I could be much more fussy.

I did not think, that I'd be able to function normally, after my husband's information. My father-in-law was a really kind man. Always I could handle with him, when something was wrong. He was for me, like a father. Like a father, which I had only for a moment.

When you came to me in the evening - I was so happy. And please, believe me, I did not plan any of those things,which happened later. The night was so beautifully. Our night had a completely different intensity of emotions. Slowly. With no rush. To the stars. To ease our minds, for that one, magical moment.

I can not any longer defend by it. I can not pretend, that nothing has changed. For me, my Dear Patricia, everything has changed.

I do not remember when I felt so happy as now.

So happy with you.

For a long time, I did not want to call, what I feel for you. I did not want to specify this. I can, however, no longer pretend and defend against it. I feel like my every breath is filled with this feeling. How slowly it germinates and is born anew, to fully blossom.

Slowly.

Without any expecting. I am falling in love with you and I can not escape from it.

You can not imagine, how much I will miss you for this week.

PS. I do not remember if I gave you my phone number. Here you have my mobile. You can write to my freely, whenever you want to. I'll reply to you, as soon as, I have a moment.

We'll talk as soon as I get back.

Love,

x. Cate. "

Rooney froze, when finished reading. Her hands were shaking. Breath accelerated wildly. She could feel the tears coming to her eyes.

No one ever said that loves her. Not in that way ... It was so beautiful.

She could not even believe it. Cate's image from a few hours before stood in front of her eyes.

"You belong to me."

Sobs filled her throat.

Cate went quickly. Already, from the distance she saw her mother and three boys.

- My beloved boys! - she cried, spreading her arms. She felt a moment, as they fall into her arms with a loudly scream: "Mommy!".

- Gosh, how much I missed you! You grow up! My big boys!

Each was patted on the head.

- Hi Mom! - Cate said, hugging her mother. - I hope they were polite? - she asked.

- Cate, you're so glamorous. Yes of course. They are so lovely. Dashiell has to learn Shakespeare. He's terribly nervous. Igy recently got A from mathematics and Roman is very, very worried about your future in film.

Blonde inadvertently bit her lip. Gosh, my mom could be able to read everything from my face. Every detail. Every small emotions or sparkle in the eye.

- Glamorous? Mom, Finally I saw my boys. Boys, you're my treasure. Roman, why you get stressed? - she quickly changed the subject.

- I know that no one will go to the movie, which one you shooting now.

- Really? I bet, that you will be surprised.

She said with amusement in her voice.

- You should play in Ghostbusters!

Cate laughed aloud.

- Gosh, how much I missed you. I'll see, my Dear, what can I do with it.

She heard the sound of SMS. She froze, when she saw on the screen an unknown number. It must be Rooney. - blonde woman thought, and quickly read the message.

"Cate, your letter was amazing. I cried loudly and can't stop. I... I need to tell you, that I feel something similar, but it is not a theme on the sms or phone. We'll talk about it, when you get back. I know that you will be have a very busy week. Call freely ,if you want to.
You can be calm, because after that wonderful night, I would definitely have to much to think about.
I miss you, x. Rooney.
PS. Thank you for breakfast. You are wonderful!

PS. II. Say hello to the boys. "

She could feel how her heart is beating wildly. She smiled and definitely could not hide it.

- Boys. Rooney Mara greets you. - Cate said with a smiling.

- Mom! Can we meet her? - Igy asked, taking her hand. Sons began to shout over each other. Stack of questions rang out almost immediately: "What is she like?", "Do you like her?", "Do you think we will like her?", "Will you take us next time? Let's go with you, please, please, Mommy! "," Say that she is nice and fun! "

Cate laughed again.

- Boys, calm down! I'll see, what can I do for you.

Cate could felt those observant gaze of her mother.

- I see that, you wanted to talk, Cate.

The blonde just nodded, when she is getting into the car.

House of full of noises. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She missed it. The boys ran upstairs to play.

Cate sat down on the sofa, and her mother came back after a moment with two cups of tea.

- Tell me, what happened. I could read that from your face. - said the elder woman, putting her hand on daughter's knee. Cate at this time reached for a cup of tea.

- I met someone. - blonde woman said after a moment. She could not look at her mother's eyes.

- And? I can see that you are shining. So, is there something serious?

- Yes. I guess so. - said Cate, sipping slowly. After a moment she smiled to herself, remembering the lovely laughter of a younger woman. She clearly remember, when it was. After another one, magical moment, when both at the same time, shared their love. They hugged tightly.

- Who is this? I bet, that he must be so handsome. - her mother asked her, watching her intently. Cate sighed.

- It is not that easy, Mom. - woman said and set down her cup. She immediately remembered her conversation with Todd and Phyllis, when they told about some kind of exclusion. Is her mother be able to understand her choice? There was no escape. She breathed loudly again and decided to play with open cards. - It was not the young man, but a lovely woman. It just happened. I thought, I could somehow separate it, but I can not. Slowly I'm falling in love with her and I can not escape from that.

- I see. Did you sleep together?

- Yes. I should feel guilty, right? - she asked gravely, not expecting an answer. - I do not have them, Mom. I betrayed Andrew and ... I do not feel bad about it, quite the contrary. In our marriage now, there is nothing to save. Not after how he behave and not after when he beat me up. Of course now, when his father died - he needs my support and he will get it. Moreover he do not expect anything more. My greatest fear is what he can do, when it comes to boys. I am not sure. - the blonde said, pushing her hair behind her ear.

Cate watched as her mother nodded and looked thoughtful.

- My child, are you happy? Did she give you more? Did she give you those things, which Andrew had never been able to?

- I am happy, Mom. Of course this is only the initial phase, but she supports me. A lot of talk. I urge her to finally try to play in the theater. He has this talent and potential. Andrew is beyond me close, but I could not anymore. I am afraid only of boys. How will I talk to him, I want you to be with me. I do not want another attack of rage. When you will watch. - She added softly.

Silence.

Cate drank tea. She thought it would be harder. Suddenly, the question pierced the silence.

- It is Rooney Mara, right?

Cate smiled and nodded her head.

- Exactly. Patricia Rooney Mara. How could you does not fall in love with her? - she asked, and laughed softly. -She is just awesome!

The answer was interrupted by a knock at the door. Her mother came to the door and opened it.

Cate heard voices from the entrance hall.

"Hello, Andrew. Cate is in the living room. "

She froze.

In the Cincinnati you could be able to feel the first freshness of the early spring. Brunette woman became between director and Ed - she nodded attentively.

- We should repeat this scene. - Todd said. He easily might noticed that the young woman is absent. Her thoughts were at that moment far away. Todd nodded only to Ed and pulled Rooney aside.

- What happens Rooney? - he asked in a soft voice. - You are absent.

- I'm so sorry. I think about Andrew and her. That must be so horrible. That lost just suddenly came and I just ... I'm worried a little. - Rooney said and sighed loudly. - I know that I screwed up this scene, but believe me, it is so hard to me. We talked a lot about this and I still have a problem with that.

- I know. Maybe we'll do a little break and return to the scene. Maybe you need to talk about this again?

Todd asked and looked into her green eyes with concern. Rooney nodded. She felt that her thoughts keep returning to the letter, which Cate left her. "Slowly. Without any expecting. I am falling in love with you and I can not escape from it." Slowly. Just like the previous night. Not hurrying up with nothing. Slowly learning of their reactions, which they could share. This time was different. Rooney still felt Cate's skin under her fingertips. She closed her eyes.

After a moment she felt like someone handed her a cup, saying with a pleasant voice.

- Honey, you should be careful. I should not find it, I'm certainly sure of it. - Sarah replied with a smile on her face. Rooney opened her green eyes with amazement. The spirits swore at each other hideously. How many people have found this letter before her? She watched her intently. Dark hazel eyes looked at her with amusement. Rooney pursed her lips.

- Come on, baby. Please, do not cross at me like that. I assure you that I am the only person who had seen it, and believe me I can be discreet.

Rooney remembered the morning. She did not have too much time. She was very shaken after the Cate's letter and not thinking at all, tossed it in the calendar and the script to her large bag. She ran to movie-set quickly. She just missed her breath. Probably when removing documents, Cate's letter had to be, or fall out of her calendar, which she left on the table in the shared room.

- Thank you. - Rooney gasped and stared her eyes into the pavement. She felt how her cheeks redden.

- I do not blame her. I'm not surprised. You are so cute. - Sarah replied with amusement and lit a cigarette. After a while, Todd approached them.

- My Dearest Ladies, we still have to discuss about two things. I noticed that you two already know each other.

Cate sat on the sofa, sipping tea. She heard when the door slam and polite chatting.

When the man entered to the living room, woman noticed that he had a swollen, red eyes.

- Hey, Cate! - he said. The blonde just nodded, but she could not move.

- Boys! Your dad is there. Say hello! - Cate shouted, and after a moment their heard the sound of running feet. Screams and a commotion filled the room. Cate smiled, looking at her sons. She saw her mother brings cake and a a pot of tea.

- Mommy, Dad do not call us. - Dashiell said sadly.

- Dad had a very hard situation. - Cate quickly interjected.

- But you also have a difficult situations on the movie-set and always remember of us. - said Igy in quietly voice. After a while he is sitting on her lap.

- Boys, your grandfather died. - The man replied. The woman heard in his voice trembling.

- At least you're not flooded, Andrew. - Cate replied coldly, imposing a cake for the boys on small plates.

The man looked at her sharply.

- We can't talk about it with the boys, Cate. - he said .

- I find the fact. There are different situations in life. Mainly these heavy. Do not you see how the boys missed you? - Cate said with reproach in her voice.

The man opened his mouth, but then closed it. Cate felt his eyes on her.
He watched her intently.

- Mommy, where is grandpa? - she heard a tiny voice.

- My angel. Your grandfather went to heaven. - Cate said, moving her fingers in blond curls of the youngest boy. - He will not be able to come here and visit us.

- He will know that I miss him? He promised us, that we would go to the zoo.

- For sure he will know that you miss him, Igy. He will look at you from the heaven. That's why you have to be polite. - blonde woman said with trembling voice. Everything reminded her of her childhood and the conversation I recently had with Rooney. - Well, we can go to the zoo, tomorrow. Is it all right for you? - she asked.

- Yes! - boys answered together.

- Mommy, did you call to Rooney? We can meet her, please? - Dashiell asked.

- She is so nice and funny! I saw an interview with her. - Roman added with a smile.

Cate felt when her cheeks are more reddish.

- Rooney is busy. She is in the movie-set right now, but I'll talk to her. Later. - Cate said quickly.

After a moment of silence Igy added.

- Mommy, spoke highly about her. I heard it.

Cate froze. She moved her eyes on her hands. Andrew watched the scene with more interest.

- What your mother said, Igy?

- Mommy said to grandma, that "how could you not to fall in love with Rooney and that she is so awesome!" I agree with Mommy.

Cate felt like a little boy hugged her tightly. Her heart was beating like crazy, she felt how her stomach grip. She breathing shallowly

They talked like that for a moment. When the boys got bored, they said that will be playing in pirates. Cate's mother looked at them carefully and said that she will be with boys on upstairs.

Silence.

- Want some coffee, Andrew? - Cate asked.

He nodded and followed her into the kitchen.

- You are so cold to me. - he started uncertainly.

- Are you surprised? - blonde woman replied sharply, standing back to him. She could not look at his eyes. She could feel how her breath quickened. She brushed a strand of blond hair behind her ears and rested both hands on the kitchen counter. - I know that we are going through the hard times right now. It's not easy for you and of curse for me too. I liked your father, really. I'm sorry... - she stopped. - You really do not know, how sorry I am. - her voice trembled. She heard how the man pulled out a chair. The woman sighed loudly and reached into the cupboard for two cups.

She poured cold water and turned on the coffee maker. Two white cups filled up in black, steaming liquid. Cate put one of them in the front of her husband and sat down across from him.

The silence went through the room.

- How is going with the movie? - Andrew asked.

- Well. Sandy has prepared amazing costumes. You know, Todd very well. You can be sure that he will do a very atmospheric and beautifully movie from visual side. - Cate paused, staring at her hands, which lying on the table. - For now, we did not have a lot of shooting. Why did not you tell me, that you'll be a producer?

Silence. The woman looked up. Carefully, slowly, she moved her blue eyes through his tired face. She did not feel anything. The man sitting in front of her was close to her. It's hard not to. So many years together. Three children. But at that one moment, the only thing, which she could feel it overcome sadness and compassion. He lost someone who loved. He lost his father.

She did not feel any butterflies in stomach. She did not feel that tension. This one kind of tension, where you only need a one look of a loved one, to fall over your world upside down. Causing a rapid heart beat, confusion and a feeling that you can move the mountains. Through her husband's illness - an Othello syndrome, lasting alcoholism and continuous control, they slowly moved away from each other. They just stopped talking - from little things to the serious decisions. Until finally scoop out enough. When he raised his hand - she told herself that she definitely must end it. For the sake of her own and especially for children.

- I don't have time, Cate. - he replied quietly. - I know. I know that I screwed up everything. Children have a grudge, because I don't speak with them. I don't come here and played with them, like a good father should. But believe me, I really try ... Just see. - he replied quietly, pulling from his pocket a small, round object. After a while he lay it on the table. Like proof. The blonde looked at color. Silver meant that the patient does not drink for two weeks. - I'm taking medication. I try to go regularly to therapy. Before my father died, he told me that I hurt you so much and neglected our relationship. He was right. I screwed up everything, Cate. But I care about you and about the children. - she noticed as he tried to grab her hand. In response, she took her hands quickly.

- Andrew ... - the blonde woman whispered. Her hands covering a hot cup of coffee. - I had plenty of time to think about those things, but I'm not sure if this is a good time for our conversation. The funeral will be in three days. Maybe we should hold off until then, what do you think? Of course, you will always have my support, but ... - she paused and looked straight into his eyes. - I can not guarantee you anything more. Not after what you've done recently, though probably you do not remember. - she replied quickly, feeling the tears coming to her eyes. After a moment she felt how s tear broke away and began to flow slowly, down on her cheek. After that another one. - Excuse me ... - she said, her voice breaking. She just jumped up from the table. She felt sobs, filled her throat. The whole incident from a few weeks, immediately stood before her eyes. He hit her hard. She thought it over. She tried to pull away. Escape. She lost consciousness. Suddenly, she felt men's hands on her waist. She moved nervously. - Do not touch me. - she choked by tears and pulled away. Something in her snapped. Long suppressed emotions returned to her with a renewed strength.

- God damn, Andrew! Why are you doing this to me? Why? - she shouted, still crying. She could not calm down. She felt how much her hands are trembling. - I don't have the strength for fight about us any longer. I do not ... - she said, slumping to the floor. She hide her face between her her knees. Cate repeated quietly: "I have no strength to fight" was punctuated by her hysterical sobs. It's hard to catch her breath.

Cate heard footsteps. She knew that steps. She knew that her mother was going to enter the room.

- For Christ Sake, Cate! - elder woman said. - Andrew, please. Just please, leave us for a moment.

The blonde felt hands on her shoulders and whisper of mother. - Calm down. It's just a panic attack. As soon as I'll give you a pill.

The woman only nodded, feeling like her mother gives to her hand a glass and a small pill. She sighed loudly. Raggedly. Almost hysterically. After a moment, she swallowed a medication.

- As soon as, you calm down. I'll walk with you to your room. You should lie down for a moment. In the evening you'll could to finish this conversation. When you'll be sleep, Andrew and I will take care of the boys. Finally, they should spend some time with father.

The blonde just nodded. She felt how her mother picks her up from the floor and hugged tightly at waist.

- Everything will be fine, Cate.

The blonde woman was breathing heavily. After a moment, they were in the bedroom. Her mom sat her on the bed.

- Thank you, Mom! - Cate said. - I did not think it was all just overwhelm me. These memories ... This is awful. This is just horrible - she added softly with a shaking voice.

- I know, but you get over it. - her mother said with a calmly, aussie voice . - I would forget. - she added, and pulled from her pocket a Cate's mobile. - You left your phone on the table in the living room. When you talk with your husband came to you a few messages. I feel that something in the minimum way, could improve your mood. - she said, winking at her significantly. - Get some sleep. We'll talk later - the three of us.

Cate closed her eyes, holding her phone in the hands. Her heart was still beating wildly. "My mother is a wonderful woman." - thought the blonde.

Silent slam of the door, called her to back to reality.

The woman quickly undressed and put on your body long thin shirt.

After a while she lay in bed, holding her phone. She had a several messages. Two of her agent regarding further proposals for a new movies. The next two were ads from the operator, and the last ...

Her heart ached for a moment, when she read sms.

"You belong to me. Miss you so much! x. R. "

Gosh, Patricia, my poor baby. How much I miss you. I really need to hear her voice- blonde thought.

She just couldn't know, that miles away from her, tiny brunette woman in her hotel room, with the stack of paper said out loud:

"Ask me things... Please."