AN: So, the last installment is here! Thank you everyone who kept up with the story! You guys are awesome!
Well, I hope you like it. This chapter is in Sakura's POV.
Thank you for reading and commenting! :)
She was trying to maneuver around in her small bedroom when she heard the doorbell. She instantly changed direction and rushed to the door, resulting in a stubbed toe. She cursed under her breath, "Dammit."
She had moved back into her mother's house a month ago, while she looked for an apartment. It worked for the meantime, besides the cramped bedroom where most of her stuff was piled around the room in boxes. Her mother was understanding when she had told her about the divorce. She said she had never really thought Sasuke was who she was meant to be with, but had kept her mouth shut since Sakura seemed to be so happy. She hadn't said anything more on the subject and just happily took care of her daughter, cooking for her and helping her look for an apartment.
Sakura jogged across the apartment, her socked feet pattering against the hardwood floors. She wondered who could be at the door. The only people who ever visited her here was Ino and Naruto. But Ino was on a mission with Shikamaru and Naruto was probably having dinner with his pregnant wife at this hour. Her mother wasn't home, saying she was going to have a "girls' night" with her friends.
She opened the door and found Kakashi on the other side. She looked at him confused, "Kakashi? What're you doing here? How did you even know I was here? Wasn't your mission supposed to last another month?" Sakura vaguely knew she was rambling and probably looked panicked, but she hadn't been ready to see Kakashi so soon after the divorce. With her feelings for him finally said out loud, even if they were only to Sasuke and in vague words, she didn't know how to ignore them anymore. They were out in the open and she knew she didn't want to deal with them so soon after the divorce, but she didn't know exactly what to do with them instead. She didn't know how to face Kakashi and as she waited for him to answer, she tried to remember how to be normal around him.
His eyebrows were pulled together as he peered down at her, "It ended early. The guys at the gate told me when I came in. I figured you'd be here. Sakura, are you alright?"
Her heart warmed at his concern and obvious worry. He really was always there for her no matter what. He was the best friend she had never thought she'd find in her ex-sensei. She nodded with a smile and opened her door wider, inviting him in, "I'm fine, Kakashi. Honestly, I'm doing pretty good."
He stared at her for a second before coming in, probably trying to gage whether or not she was really alright. He took his sandals off at the door and followed her to the kitchen. She looked over her shoulder at him as she opened up a cabinet, "Hungry? I was just about to make dinner and I know you probably went straight here and have probably been living off of ration bars for weeks."
He leaned against the counter beside her as she brought down ingredients for miso soup. She saw him chuckle when she grabbed eggplant out of the fridge. She smiled at him with a cocked eyebrow, "What?"
He shook his head slightly, "It's just you know me pretty well, don't you?"
She smiled as she turned the stove on and shrugged, "I like to think so."
Kakashi began to silently help her prepare the meal without second thought, picking up a vegetable and cutting it. After a couple of minutes of cooking side by side, he asked her, "Where's your mom?"
"Out with her friends. She said she wouldn't be coming home for dinner."
They had light conversation as they cooked, him telling her about his mission and her sharing stories from the hospital. They didn't talk about the divorce or anything serious. Sakura was glad for his company. She had missed him while he was away. She was happy to find that her nervousness from earlier had all but vanished. Being with Kakashi was just as easy as always.
It wasn't until halfway through dinner that he finally asked, "Sakura, what happened?"
She dropped her gaze from him back to her soup and shrugged nonchalantly, "We just realized it wasn't meant to be and that we should stop pretending. You were right when you told me that I should stop thinking about what's supposed to be and what I want. Apparently, Sasuke had been feeling the same way."
She saw Kakashi nod out of the corner of her eye and she looked back up at him when he asked, "And you're alright? Really alright?"
She sighed, putting her spoon down and crossed her arms over the tabletop. She stared at him straight on, "Yes, Kakashi. I'm really alright. I'm actually more than alright. I'm happy. I feel like this giant weight has been lifted off of my chest and I feel free. Free to be who I am, comfortable in my own skin. I feel like me."
She watched as his shoulders relaxed at her answer and he gave her a smile hidden behind blue nylon, "Well, good then, Sakura. I'm happy for you then."
After they ate, Sakura walked him to the door and he paused as he grabbed the handle. He turned back towards her and Sakura felt her heart thud in her chest when his charcoal grey eyes met hers. Before her imagination could get out of control from the look in his eyes, he merely asked her, "So, are you going to cut your hair?"
She snorted at him, "Really? That's what you were going to ask?"
She noticed his hand slip away from the door handle as he raised an eyebrow at her with a smirk, "What were you thinking I was going to ask?"
She couldn't help but blush, and hoped he didn't notice. But of course he did, he just was kind enough to not comment on it. She waved a hand at his face, "Well, what's with the intense look in your eyes, Kakashi? I don't know what you're thinking."
His face became serious, "I am just very interested in your answer, Sakura."
She rolled her eyes and grabbed a piece of her hair and held it up, "About my hair?"
He nodded, still keeping up his serious façade, "Hey, hair is no laughing matter. I find it a very serious topic."
She laughed and rose an eyebrow, her eyes looking up at his mess of silver hair, "Obviously."
He ran his fingers through his hair and pouted, "Well, now you're making me feel self-conscious, Sakura-chan."
Sakura-chan. He only used that name with her when he was acting like a dismissed child. She chuckled, stepping closer to him, "Sorry, Kakashi, I sometimes forget you spend hours getting your hair ready and that's why you're always so late to everything."
He rolled his eyes at her playfully, "Okay, that's taking it too far."
She laughed, leaning to the side with her hand on her hip, "Well, anyway, back to your question, I don't really know what I'm going to do with it. What do you think?"
Kakashi stepped back towards the door with a hand raised, "No, I wouldn't want to influence your decision. Do whatever you want with it."
She nodded to him as he opened her front door. He stepped out into the chill of the night air, but instead of saying goodbye when he looked back at her, he told her smoothly, "You look gorgeous either way, so don't think about it too much."
And before she could reply, he closed the door with a soft click. She stared at the wooden door with her jaw dropped slightly and her heart beating out of rhythm. A few minutes passed and she finally turned away and walked back to her room. She felt warm as she fell asleep in the cold of the apartment and she fell asleep with a smile.
DIVIDER
Sakura giggled at the sleepy look Kakashi had when he answered the door. His hair looked even more wild than usual without his headband pulling it back and his clothes were all wrinkled. She felt a little guilty about waking him up knowing he probably needed the rest, but didn't regret coming by.
He rubbed at his eyes before giving her a confused look, "Sakura, what're you doing here?"
She gave him a smile and shrugged, "Well, I heard you were back from your mission. And I thought I'd come see you. You know, make sure you're resting properly, eating, and not bleeding out on your sofa because you think you're too good for the hospital."
Kakashi rolled his eyes at her, "Sakura, I am well capable of taking care of –" He stopped short, noticing the container in her hands, "Is that your miso soup with eggplant?"
She looked down at it and held it up, "Oh, this? Yeah, I made you some earlier. But if you're so capable of taking care of yourself, I'll just go give it to Naruto or something. Hinata's on bedrest, so he's probably just going to go to Ichiraku's like always without her homemade bentos." She shrugged and turned around, grinning when she felt his hand catch hers.
She looked to him curiously, hiding her smile, "Something you need, Kakashi?"
"Naruto doesn't even like eggplant."
She pursed her lips, looking up, "That's true." She turned to leave again, saying, "I guess, I'll have to find someone else."
Kakashi chuckled and tugged on her hand, pulling her towards him and through the door, "Sakura, just come on in already. It's getting cold out here."
She laughed, relishing in how warm his chest felt against her back when he had pulled her inside. She reluctantly let go of his hand, so she could take off her jacket and shoes. She handed him the Tupperware and instructed, "Here, go warm it up."
He mock saluted her, "Yes, ma'am."
She followed after him towards his small kitchen. After the Pain attack, Kakashi had moved into one of the new apartment buildings and his place was a lot bigger now. Unlike his single bedroom he had before, this one had a small living area and a kitchen. She glanced through the open doorway to his bedroom and saw that the sheets were thrown around and his anbu uniform laid forgotten on his floor.
She walked in to the kitchen with an accusatory brow, "So, you have just been sleeping since you got back last night?"
Kakashi looked over to her, scratching the back of his neck, "Ah, well, I was pretty tired."
She shook her head at him with a small smile as she leaned against the doorway, "You were going to starve yourself until you found the energy to go outside if I hadn't come by, weren't you?"
Kakashi shook his head, "No, that wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't have starved. You were bound to come by sometime with food."
She chuckled, "Oh, is that so?"
He gave her a smile, before turning back to the stove. He shrugged, "You always do."
She scoffed, walking over to his cabinets to grab them bowls, "Yeah, well, maybe I should stop. You're like a stray animal; if you keep feeding it, it'll forget how to fend for itself."
Kakashi gave her a hurt expression, but she could see the outline of a grin under his mask, "Aw, Sakura-chan, don't say that."
She shook her head fondly at him, "What would you do without me?"
"Apparently, forget the basics of survival," he mumbled, stirring the soup.
She laughed as she opened one of the cabinets, but stopped when she saw something yellow. She reached for it and pulled it out. It was a black ceramic mug with a sunflower painted on it. It looked so out of place in his cabinet, filled with plainly colored dishes. She looked at him curiously, "Kakashi, when did you get this? I don't remember it being here last time I was over."
Kakashi looked up from the stove, turning the burner off. She watched his eyes widen a fraction at the mug, but he feigned nonchalance. He grabbed it out of her hand and put it back in the cabinet, retrieving two bowls instead, "Oh, it's just something I bought on a whim."
Sakura glanced back at it as he continued, pouring their soup into bowls, "The mission sent me all the way to the Land of Earth. This town I was in was apparently famous for their pottery, so before heading back home, I strolled around the village. And I saw that and it just…I don't know, I just bought it. Not a big deal."
Sakura bit back a smile as she took her bowl from him and followed him into his living room. After Kakashi told her more about his mission and what an "asshole" the client was, she got up to make them tea. When she came back, Kakashi was spread out on the couch with his head resting on the armrest and his nose in Icha Icha Tactics. He started to get up, but she shook her head and handed him his tea in a sunflower painted mug. She picked up his feet and sat down, putting them back in her lap and took a drink form her own red mug.
After a minute, she leaned forward and sat her mug on the coffee table. She looked over at Kakashi looking as comfortable as ever. She felt something warm stir inside of her and she smiled at how laid back he was around her. She had been surprised by it when she first noticed a few years ago, how he acted differently around her, like he wasn't putting up a front. Like he was just Kakashi and not the famous Copy Nin. He joked with her and told her about himself, he didn't act aloof and cool like he did around others. He was goofy and childish and she loved him all the more for it. But what had surprised her even more was that she was the same way around him. She was comfortable with him and didn't feel like she had to be kept-together all the time.
She still didn't know when she had fallen in love with him, just that she was and felt like she always had been. Had she been before her marriage? During her marriage? Or had her small crush on her jounin sensei slowly morphed into something else over the years? She didn't know, but when she looked at him, she felt like it didn't really matter. There was a bond that had always been there between them and whether it was built on romantic love or not didn't matter. It was there, it was strong, and she was sure it will always be that way.
During her marriage, Sakura had started to feel like she was losing herself. That she had spent so long pretending to be what she thought people wanted, she had forgotten who she actually was. But when she was with Kakashi, it was like she remembered and she was her again. Sakura Haruno. Not Sakura Uchiha, the Uchiha matriarch, wife to the famous Sasuke Uchiha. She loved Sasuke, she really did, and she still does. But it was different with Kakashi. It felt different. It was comfortable and familiar like with Sasuke, but it was also exciting and nerve-wracking and she couldn't get enough of it. It was comforting and assuring. It was so many things that it was ridiculous how all of the emotions coexisted. Kakashi made her so happy and he didn't even have to try, just like Sasuke had said. She felt safe with him and protected. She felt like she could be her complete self around him and he'd never judge her for her it. And to Sakura, that was all that really mattered.
She rested her hands on his legs, playing with the material of his sweats. When he looked up at her curiously, she gave him a warm smile and told him, "I missed you, too."
He raised an eyebrow at her and she looked to his mug and back to him knowingly. She almost giggled at his flustered face as he spoke, "I told you the mug didn't mean anything."
"It has a sunflower on it."
He shrugged and avoided her eyes, returning them back to his book, but she knew he wasn't reading any of the words, "So, what? I happen to be very fond of sunflowers."
She chuckled and playfully nudged his foot with her fist, "No, I like sunflowers and you know that."
"I wasn't aware only you could like them, Sakura. I'll notify Ino and tell her she can only sell them to you from now on," Kakashi argued with a flip of a page.
Sakura rolled her eyes, "Whatever, Kakashi. You don't even like flowers."
He looked at her with a mock offended expression, pressing his book against his chest, "I'll have you know, I love flowers. All of my boxers have flowers on them. I just never told you, cuz I thought you'd laugh."
Sakura did laugh, "Liar."
He rose an eyebrow at her and challenged, "Don't believe me? See for yourself."
He gestured to his room, but Sakura leaned towards him and hovered her hand over the waist of his pants. She looked at him coyly and reached for the hem, but Kakashi grabbed her hand and relented, "Okay, okay, no flower covered boxers. Happy? Can't even let a man have his dignity."
"Cuz flower covered boxers give you dignity?"
"Obviously."
Sakura waited for him to say it, still leaning over him, practically lying on his chest with his hand still wrapped around hers. She cocked an eyebrow at him and after a moment, he asked, "Is it so bad that I thought of you when I saw it and just had to buy it?"
She shook her head with a smile, "Not at all. Just admit you missed me and I'll let it go."
He sighed and met her eyes. Her stomach twisted under his gaze, but she didn't dare look away, enjoying how it also made her heart beat faster. "Of course, I missed you." Kakashi's eyes were warm as he spoke, they looked like they were filled with so much emotion. But Sakura wondered why she saw sadness there too. He continued, "We see each other almost every day and then to go a month without you, how could I not miss you?"
Sakura smiled at him, liking how warm and solid he felt beneath her, "I missed you, too."
He chuckled, "Yeah, you told me that already."
She rolled her eyes at him and reached toward him. But instead of reaching for his face like she knew he expected her to, she grabbed the Icha Icha out of his hands and sat back.
He looked at her bemused and she shrugged, "What? I'm curious why you always have your nose buried in these. This is the first book, isn't it?"
He didn't say anything, but when she glanced over at him, he was smiling at her, "Yeah, it is." He snuggled himself more into the couch and closed his eyes. Sakura leaned into the couch, content to read while he slept with his legs draped over her.
DIVIDER
*a few months later*
Sakura woke to the eager tapping on her window and the flaring of a chakra signature. She sprung up from her bed when she saw it was Takumi, a medic that worked under her at the hospital. She felt cold, knowing why he was there. Since the war, they usually didn't drag her out of bed and into surgery anymore unless it was serious. She got that same fear that she always got that it may be for someone she loved. She grabbed a ponytail from her night stand and pulled her hair up, before slipping on her shoes and running over to the window.
"It's bad, Haruno-san," Takumi told her as they ran across the rooftops towards the hospital, "We don't know if he's going to make it even with Tsunade-sama already working on him."
She glanced at him worriedly. Tsunade was already there and they still felt the need to send for her too?
Takumi continued hesitantly, "He collapsed at the gates when he returned from a mission and the guards took him to the hospital. He has a long and deep gash along his torso. He's lost a lot of blood and Tsunade-sama thinks the blade might have been poisoned. Also,…"
When he didn't immediately continue, Sakura glared at him, "What, Takumi?" This sounded very serious and she couldn't afford to have any information withheld from her that could help her soon-to-be patient.
Takumi flinched at the edge in her voice, but nodded, "He, uh, was calling out for you before he collapsed."
Sakura felt her heart stop at his words. Called out for her? Who would call out for her in their dying breath? Her first thought was Sasuke. Even after all they'd been through, it wouldn't surprise her. But he wasn't out on a mission. She had had lunch with him just a few hours ago. Then…
They had reached the hospital doors by then and Sakura almost stopped in her tracks as the name surfaced. No…it couldn't be. She sprinted ahead of Takumi towards the biggest operation room and when she busted through the double doors, she felt her blood run cold. "Kakashi," she breathed barely above a whisper in her shock.
Tsunade had heard her, though, and barked, "Sakura! Finally! Get over here and calm him down while I try to stop the bleeding!"
Sakura moved her feet without second thought and was instantly on the other side of the operation table across from Tsunade and two other medics. Kakashi seemed to be drifting in and out of consciousness as he flinched underneath Tsunade's firm hands. Even though Sakura knew Tsunade could keep him in place if she wanted to, she knew Tsunade was trying to avoid as much damage as she could.
Sakura looked over his bare torso that was covered in blood and Tsunade's green chakra as she hovered her hands over him. The other medics were trying to ground Kakashi as Tsunade worked over him, but Kakashi continued to thrash around in pain.
Sakura looked to her old teacher in question, "Shishou, what's wrong with him? Is he in shock?"
Tsunade shook her head as she looked to the monitors beside her. Kakashi's heart rate was dropping. "No, I've never seen Kakashi like this. It must be the poison."
Sakura nodded, already searching for what she needed. When she hurried back to the table, she said, "I'll get the poison out, while you close his wound." Sakura didn't say it as a question, but out of respect she glanced up at Tsunade for agreement. Tsunade nodded to her and they began.
It felt like they were there for hours, but surgery usually did. As Tsunade healed the damage the blade had caused to Kakashi's circulatory system, Sakura tried to work the poison out of his body. Kakashi had calmed down enough to where the medics didn't have to restrain him anymore and assisted Sakura and Tsunade when they could.
Tsunade finished and glanced at Sakura as she started searching Kakashi's body for the poison, "Is it almost out? I can't believe there was that much in his system and he was still walking."
Sakura nodded, but looked to the heart monitors with a wry glance, "But his heart rate isn't picking back up."
Tsunade paused and looked at Kakashi's chest with a furrowed brow.
Sakura stopped too, not really finding anymore poison anyway, "What is it? What're you thinking?"
Tsunade looked at her seriously and professionally, but Sakura could see the intense worry in her eyes, "It's in his heart."
Sakura rose an eyebrow, "His heart? No, that can't be. He wouldn't be breathing."
Tsunade hover her hand over his chest and after a moment she nodded, "It's not enough to kill him at least right now, but it is what's causing his heart rate to slow down. I think it's coated to one of the chambers and that's why it's not circulating out. And if we don't get it out soon, he will stop breathing."
Sakura had never taken poison straight from the heart. It was dangerous to apply chakra directly there. Too much focused chakra onto someone's heart could cause it to go into shock and quit. It had been one of things Tsunade had first taught her, to not play with the heart. It was too difficult. But if anyone could do it, it'd be Tsunade.
Sakura nodded to her, taking a step back, "Okay, shishou. I'll help in any way I can."
"Sakura," Tsunade gave her a sad smile, "I can't do that. My chakra control may be amazing, but not even I can be that precise."
Sakura's breath caught in her throat and she looked down at Kakashi, at his sleeping face. No. She shook her head in denial as a few tears rolled down her face. But she cleared her throat and turned back to her mentor, "No, there has to be something! You can't just give up!"
Tsunade walked around the table and placed a hand on Sakura's shoulder. She smiled down at her, "Sakura, you've long surpassed me. I have never seen chakra control like yours. I may not be able to do it, but you can."
Sakura stared at her dumbly and back to Kakashi. It was up to her? She knew that she had surpassed her old mentor, but she didn't have nearly enough experience to try what she was about to. But she was going to try, anyway. It was Kakashi. She couldn't let him die. Not on her watch. Not when she could have saved him. She'd never forgive herself. There's still a chance.
Sakura swallowed the lump in her throat and looked back up to Tsunade, "I'll do it, but you'll have to talk me through it."
Tsunade nodded and Sakura walked around to the other side of the table. She took a steadying breath before she looked to Tsunade for instruction.
"It's just like when you were taking the poison out before. But it's more precise. Your chakra has to go straight to where the poison is and it needs to be the smallest amount you can manage. You have to extract it with little movement as possible or you'll kill him."
Sakura closed her eyes and focused all but just a little of her chakra away from her right hand. She hovered her fingers over his heart, trying to pinpoint the poison. When she had found it, she reached her other hand down to grip Kakashi's limp one. She was surprised by the warmth in his hand, expecting it to have been cold to the touch. But his callous fingers were warm against hers and she squeezed them in a silent promise. If the hand in hers went cold, then she'd know she had failed and she'd die right alongside him. Not physically, but she was sure her heart would.
Seconds really could last lifetimes, Sakura found out. And she felt like she gave away part of her life in those seconds. But when she had pulled away with the poison extracted, Kakashi was still alive. She ran her hand back over his heart to check for any damage she may have caused, but there was none. She felt so much emotion in that moment that her legs gave out from beneath her and she fell to her knees. She leaned her forehead against the table and closed her eyes. She continued to hold onto Kakashi's hand tightly as she covered her mouth with her other hand to muffle a sob.
It took her a couple of minutes to calm down and when she opened her eyes, Tsunade was kneeled beside her with a wide smile, "You did it, kiddo. I'm proud of you."
Sakura took a steadying breath and asked, "His heart rate?"
Tsunade cocked her head behind her, "It's slowly increasing back up. Soon enough and it'll be back to normal and he'll be trying to escape out the window."
Sakura laughed and more tears rolled down her face. Tsunade smiled at her and tried to help her back up on her feet. Once on her feet, she looked back down at Kakashi, still sleeping with his chest moving as he breathed. She smiled and looked to her hand still wrapped tightly around his fingers. She blushed and pulled away.
The other medics cleared out, but Tsunade stayed with her. Sakura glanced at her over her shoulder as she went to one of the cabinets for a blanket, "I'm going to have him rest here a little longer before moving him to a recovery room."
Tsunade nodded and leaned against the wall as she watched Sakura clean away any remaining blood and then tuck a yellow blanket snugly around Kakashi. After she was finished, she didn't move and stayed standing beside the operation table, still in the pajamas she had come in. Tsunade raised an eyebrow at her, "You okay, Sakura?"
Sakura didn't look to her and just nodded. Tsunade headed for the door and then looked back to her old apprentice, "I'm sure it's fine if you go back home, Sakura. It was a long procedure and you're probably tired. The medics will take very good of Kakashi, you know that."
Sakura shook her head, "I'm not tired and I know they will. But…I'm just going to stay here a while longer."
Tsunade paused at the door when Sakura added, "Kakashi was calling out for me, so I'm going to be here for him when he wakes up."
Tsunade smiled at her, though Sakura didn't see it, too preoccupied with wiping Kakashi's ragged hair away from his face. Tsunade chuckled, "I'm sure he'll appreciate that."
DIVIDER
It was a strange feeling to feel so cold everywhere except one part, where there was an excruciating burning pain. Sakura laid on her back against the cold wet grass. She had a limp hand placed over her injury on her stomach, but she didn't have any chakra left to heal herself.
Kakashi kneeled beside her, hovering over her with his hand pressed against hers in a weak attempt to stop the bleeding. They both knew she wasn't going to make it.
"Sakura!" But Kakashi refused to accept that fact, "Stay with me!"
She gave him a small smile, moving her hand from her wound to wrap around his hand, "Kakashi, it's okay."
He glared at her, but squeezed her hand, "No, don't say that. No, it's not."
She opened her mouth to respond, but instead started coughing. It hurt her lungs and she started to feel like she was drifting away. But she had to tell him. He had to know.
Sakura gathered up all her strength and tugged him closer to her to where his face was only inches from hers. His grey eyes were sad as she met them and told him, "I love you."
His eyes widened and then he closed them as if he was in pain. He leaned his forehead against hers and asked, "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
She sighed, trying to hold on to the warmth of his skin against hers, "I was already married when I realized it."
He opened his eyes and looked at her confused, "Sakura, it's almost been two years since you divorced Sasuke."
Her eyebrows pulled together at the edge in his voice, "I had to wait for us to be okay, before I-"
He cut her off, leaning away from her, leaving her more cold than she'd ever been, "And now it's too late."
She tried to reach for him, but couldn't move her body, "Kakashi, I-"
He looked away from her towards the trees, "I loved you, too, you know." He stood up and glanced down at her, "But now we'll never get a chance, because you waited too long."
He started to walk away from her, ignoring Sakura's cries for him.
"Kakashi!" Sakura bolted upright from her bed with a yell. She looked widely around herself, feeling tears run down her cheeks. She was just in her bedroom. Not on a mission in a field somewhere, dying and watching Kakashi leave her. She tried to calm her erratic heartbeat as she looked to her left. It was just her in her bed, like it had been for over a year and a half.
She glanced at her alarm clock. 3:22 a.m. She put her head in her hands, her hair falling around her face like a curtain. What was she doing? Well, she was waiting, but for what? Sasuke and her had finally lost any awkwardness they had left and their friendship felt normal again. She didn't want to hurt him, so she had waited for him to be ready for her to move on. But what about her? Was she ready? Of course, she was. She had loved Kakashi for so long, how could she not be?
What was she really waiting for? If she was being honest with herself, it was because she was scared. She wasn't scared he didn't feel the same way, she had known for a while that he did. She could see it in his eyes. In the hesitation before he touched her, even casually. In a sunflower painted mug.
But she was scared of giving herself to him so completely. Because she knew she would the moment she said anything. He would know her like no one ever did, every part of her. And it scared her to trust someone with all of her heart. She hadn't even trusted her own husband with a part of it. She just didn't want it to get broken. And she didn't know how she'd ever recover if it was Kakashi who broke it. Whether it was because they didn't work out or if he never came home from a mission. But this was Kakashi. If she couldn't trust him with her heart, then she'd never be able to trust anyone with it.
Thinking back to her dream, she remembered dream Kakashi telling her they never even got a chance. Her heart twisted painfully. It was what she was doing right now by just sitting in her bed waiting for no reason. She wasn't giving them a chance.
She had a feeling Kakashi was waiting for her. Waiting for her to do something, anything. She was being cruel, selfish, to keep him on a string.
Her dream flashed before her eyes and she cringed. She couldn't let it get to that point. Confessions of love from someone dying on the battlefield. She couldn't let that be the end of their story. She wouldn't.
Sakura threw her covers off of her at the same time lightning flashed behind her, the white light illuminating her room through the small window. She ran to her door, barely taking the time to put her shoes on. She ran through the streets, not caring that the rain pelted against her skin and soaked through her clothes. She was freezing by the time she reached his door, but she ignored it. Her heart pounded against her rib cage as she raised her fist and knocked on the wood.
For the briefest second, she started to worry he wouldn't answer, but then the door flew open and there stood Kakashi looking at her bewildered. His hair was wild and he was only dressed in a black sleeveless shirt, sweats, and his mask. His eyes ran up and down her body, his face becoming more worried. She couldn't blame him, she probably looked insane, standing on his doorstep clad in her pajama shorts and a small tank top soaked from the rain.
"Sakura, what are you doing here?" He asked over the sound of the thunder, "You're not injured, are you?"
He reached out for her, his hands grabbing her shoulders as his eyes searched her body for any injuries. She shook her head, "I'm fine, Kakashi."
He gave her an incredulous look, "Sakura, it's three in the morning and it's pouring. What're you doing here?"
She blinked away the raindrops from her eyes and grabbed Kakashi by his shirt, pulling him closer. Before he could realize what was happening, she tugged his mask down with her other hand and kissed him. She could feel how shocked he was beneath her lips, but he quickly started to kiss her back. His hand came up to tangle into her hand and his other arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her against his body. He kissed her hungrily, like he had been starving for her for years, and maybe he had. She felt so much emotion from him with every touch, every movement of his lips against hers. It was overwhelming and Sakura felt like she might burst from all of it. She had never been touched with such desire and care at the same time before.
She kissed him with just as much passion, barely breaking for air when her lungs burned and demanded it. She bounced off her feet to wrap her legs around his waist. Kakashi stumbled back through his door from her weight, but he kept her steady and closed the door with his foot before pressing her against it.
She tugged on his hair and he gasped against her lips, "Sakura." She melted against him and when he pulled his lips away from hers she almost whimpered.
His eyes were intense when he opened them and met hers. He held her closely, but he looked hesitantly at her, "Sakura…" His voice was deep and breathless, "Do you know what you're doing?"
She nodded, her fingers playing with the ends of his hair. She stared into his charcoal eyes and asked him, "Kakashi, do you remember when I thought I was pregnant and I told you what my first thought was when I found out I wasn't?"
He looked slightly taken aback by the question, but he answered, "You said you thought that there was still a chance, but you didn't know what it meant."
She nodded with a smile, looking at him warmly, "When you came back from that mission and you almost died, I thought the same thing."
"Sakura, what're you trying to say?"
She pulled him even closer, "I'm saying it was you, Kakashi. You're the chance that I've always wanted to take. When I found out I wasn't pregnant, there was still a chance that I could be with you. I wasn't tied down to Sasuke, not really. When you almost died, I gave everything I had to save you. Because there was still a chance you might live. Still a chance for us." She pressed her forehead against his and breathed him in, "And I realized tonight that I never want to think that I lost my chance. I love you, Kakashi. I've loved you for so long and I'm tired of waiting for the right time to tell you."
He kissed her and she could feel his smile against her lips. When he pulled away to look at her, she wondered how she had lived without seeing Kakashi's beautiful smile without his mask. He kissed her lips again and told her, "I never thought that you would feel the same way. I thought I would have to love you for the rest of my life and die without ever holding you like this."
Her heart broke at his words and she pecked the corner of his mouth, "I'm sorry I've made you wait so long."
But he just smiled at her, brushing the hair out of her face, "Don't be. I would have waited forever. I have to say, though, now that I have you, I don't think I can ever let you go."
She pressed her lips against his, "Don't, Kakashi. Don't ever let me go."
"I won't, Sakura," he told her in between kisses.
DIVIDER
The moonlight shined through the window, illuminating Kakashi's pale skin enough for Sakura to still be able to see his face. She couldn't stop herself from reaching out for him to have her fingers gently trace his features. She wanted his face to be committed to her memory, for her to be able to map it out with just her fingertips. She never wanted to forget, but in all honesty she didn't think she could if she tried.
Sheets and limbs were still entangled together as they laid there still wrapped around each other. Her fingers traced along his face from his scar to his bottom lip to the adorable mole near his mouth. He never looked away from her either, never shied away from her touch. He smiled at her with such warmth that Sakura felt like she had known his smile her whole life, and in a way she did. She had always felt the love in his smile from his eyes, so seeing the real thing now didn't take her aback as much as she'd thought.
Like he promised, Kakashi never let go of her and she was still pressed tightly against him. What she found strange, though, was that he was looking at her like she was looking at him. But she was just plain old Sakura. What could possibly be different? It wasn't like she just revealed her face to him for the first time.
She was about to ask him, when he suddenly said, "I've loved you for years."
She didn't say anything and he continued, "Probably since before you were married."
Sakura's hand paused at his cheekbone and she looked at him surprised. His head fell back against his pillow and he pulled Sakura to where her face was just a breath's away from his. He didn't look away from her eyes as he went on, "I didn't know I was in love with you, though. Not until a few months after you were married."
Sakura's hand dropped from his face to wrap around the one Kakashi had in her hair. She interlocked their fingers as she listened to him. He smiled at her with that crooked grin of his that she could finally see clearly. Then, he told her everything. What it was like when he heard about her engagement. About how he got out of going to her wedding. About the day in the Yamanaka Flower Shop. How he tried to be there for her as much as he could without overstepping any boundaries. How he rushed to see her when he heard about the divorce. He told her everything.
Sakura felt overwhelmed with it all. Kakashi had always been open with her. He'd told her more about himself after the war than he had the entire time before. There wasn't much that he kept from her. But this. All of this was so much and she felt so guilty listening to how he had to deal with it by himself. How he hadn't told anyone. She'd become his best friend and if he couldn't tell her, then he didn't think anyone else could have made him feel better.
So, instead of apologizing again about how it was her fault, because Kakashi had had enough of that, she told him about her side of the story.
"I don't know exactly when I started feeling differently, but I know I denied it for most of my marriage. I told myself that it was because we had been through so much together and that I was probably just misinterpreting my feelings for you. I lied to myself that I was always so happy to see everyone when we all hung out. I told myself that I didn't like it when Sasuke went away on missions and you took me out for lunch instead. I told myself that I had always loved Sasuke and that was how it was always going to be. I told myself we were meant to be, that our love story was a legend. But I was fooling myself."
Kakashi was quiet as he listened to her, squeezing her comfortingly when she sounded upset and offering no comment. She sighed as she thought back to a particular day, "Then, there was a day that I got fed up with myself. It was around a year and a half in to my marriage. I had been strolling through the market, looking for something to cook for dinner. And I saw eggplant. It made me think of you and I bought all the ingredients to make miso soup. I went home and as I was cooking, I realized that you weren't even going to be there to eat it. I don't know why I had been so surprised when I suddenly realized that, but I had. I looked at the table, knowing in a few hours it would be Sasuke sitting there and not you. It made me sick to my stomach and I threw all the food out. I went to bed and lied when Sasuke asked me what was wrong.
"From then on, I always had this dread that I wasn't living the way I was supposed to. That I wasn't who I was supposed to be."
Kakashi kissed her softly on the lips and smiled at her when he leaned away, "Do you have a better sense of who you are now?"
Sakura sighed happily and smiled at the man she loved, "I think so."
DIVIDER
It wasn't long after they got married that Sakura found out she was pregnant. And she cried almost uncontrollably when the medic confirmed it. She didn't know if it was because of how different it was from the last time she'd been in that doctor's office. If it was because she was so relieved to find herself so excited. Or if it was just because she was so happy that her and Kakashi were going to have a family. That she could give him the family he'd always longed for.
When she got home, Kakashi was at the stove cooking their dinner. He grinned at her and she almost giggled at how cute he looked in his little apron that Himawari had made for him. It had Uncle Kakashi strewn across it in sloppy blue letters and a pug painted at the bottom.
"Where did you run off to this morning?" Kakashi asked her as she stepped into the kitchen.
She ran over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck. He stumbled slightly from the impact, but held on to her. And then, she leaned away from him with tears running down her face, "Kakashi, I'm pregnant!"
She could practically see Kakashi's mouth drop behind his mask and his eyes were wide. He didn't say anything for a moment and before Sakura could get worried, she saw tears in the corner of his eyes. His voice was barely audible when he asked, "You're sure?"
Sakura nodded excitedly and Kakashi laughed before tugging down his mask and kissing her. She could feel his wide grin against her lips and he whispered in her ear, "Thank you." He held her tightly and buried his face in the croon of her neck.
She held him just as tightly and leaned her head against his, "No, Kakashi, thank you."
DIVIDER
Sakura had never felt more complete than she did in that moment in Sasuke's living room. Kakashi's arm was wrapped around her waist as they sat on the couch. Across from them Sakumo was sitting in Sasuke's lap as they all played Sakumo's favorite board game. Sasuke had a smile on his face and was teasing Sakumo that he was beating him. Sakumo was pouting, but Sakura could tell he was fighting back a laugh.
She was happy to know that on that day they signed the divorce papers, they hadn't been just empty words. Sasuke was still a part of her life like he'd always been. In all honesty, he was actually more a part of it now than he ever was when they were married. He was one of her best friends and never resented her for falling in love with someone else. He still loved her and she loved him just as much back. They were family and they always will be.
She thought back to when they told him they wanted Sakumo to be able to know his uncle better. When she told him that they wanted to come over every week to see him. She had never seen so much happiness in Saskue's expression than that day. She knew he always wanted a family and she was relieved that she hadn't taken that away from him. Every day she saw him, especially with Sakumo, his smile rivaled the one from the day before. Sasuke may not be a part of her life like had always expected, but she felt that the way it turned out was how it really was supposed to be and she wouldn't change a damn thing.