Chapter 6 – a darn chick flick moment

"Hershey-"

Dean's arm was in my mouth. It wasn't attached to his body anymore. Because of me. I ripped it off. I did that.

Me.

I couldn't loosen my jaws. Couldn't drop it. I blinked as I came back to myself all the way.

"Dude, just look at me-"

I didn't want to. I shook all over. Couldn't take my eyes off Dean's stump. His clothes were splattered with blood and a piece of jagged white bone stuck out from underneath the rags of his t-shirt and all I could think was that I hurt him, I hurt him, I didn't mean to I didn't mean to do it no no no NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Stupid hound.

Another voice inside my head. I didn't know who this was. Maybe I really was going crazy. That wasn't Dean. More bad stuff from inside my head? The voice was female. She was mad. I froze in place, wide eyed, shivering. At first I didn't know who this was. Then I knew.

It was the Mark of Cain.

See what you did? I wanted to kill you myself but he wouldn't let me.

"Shut up, tramp stamp," Dean growled out loud. He looked at me and his fierce expression softened. "It's okay, buddy. It is. Really."

He released his hold on me. I crouched there trembling. I don't know how long it was before my jaws unclenched. I hated the weight in my mouth. The taste of blood. Hated myself. I leaned forward and opened my mouth. I let go of Dean's arm.

It didn't fall to the floor. The arm disappeared in a flash of red-orange light. It disappeared instead. The space below Dean's stump glowed fiery red. The light washed over his entire body and when it vanished he was whole again. His arm was back. The scar on his face was gone. So were the burns and bruises. Smooth skin. Freckles.

Dean made a face as he wiggled the fingers of his right hand. He nodded. "That always freaks me out a little," he muttered. I knew he wasn't talking to me.

The Mark sniffed. Wouldn't be necessary in the first place if it weren't for that dumb mutt. I don't know why you even bother-

"I said. Shut. it."

She did.

I stared at him wide-eyed.

"Hershey, it's okay. I'm a Knight of Hell, remember?" He held up his hands and wiggled all his fingers. "See? I got better. No harm, no foul."

I couldn't hold the scream inside me in anymore. I threw back my head and howled.

"Crap!" Dean hissed.

I howled because I'd ruined everything. Again. And I knew I'd mess up. Again. Hellfire flared up underneath my skin. I knew it wouldn't burn just the couch and the room this time. I'd burn down the house. And then my fire would flow out to the entire neighborhood like a river overflowing its banks. Ashes in the wind.

Dean wrapped his power around me again, but it felt the same way when my mom used to grab me by the scruff of my neck. When I was just a silly pup getting into everything. I always felt safe when she did that. It meant that somebody cared enough to look out for me. That's part of being part of a pack.

But I wasn't a puppy anymore. And I didn't deserve safe.

I howled because I wanted to die. It would have been better if I had died out there on the streets.

I howled, and at first that's all that sound was, just a noise, but the words came out of me at last.

"Kill me. Kill meeeee-"

Dean shook his head. "Not now. Not ever." He pulled me into his arms. I tried to squirm away.

"It's okay, it's all right." He rocked back and forth slightly. Kept saying that over and over. His power faded away from around me. I felt the pressure of both arms on my body. I opened my jaws, then closed them with a snap. I'd done enough. I didn't want to hurt him anymore.

I don't know how long I howled. I yelped and I whined. Until there was nothing left inside me and I laid there trembling. Dean talked to me and he rocked me in his arms. I was finally calm. Or maybe it was better to say that I was too tired to do anything else.

I saw what I'd done to the room.

The big tv screen was melted. The curtains at the window were shredded and singed. Everything in the room, the pictures on the walls, the tables and lamps, was black with soot and scorched around the edges.

I'd torched the couch too. I smelled burned plastic, fabric and wood.

I'd heard that Cain could stop demons and other beings from using their powers. That was what Dean had done. He didn't want to hurt me, just hold me. If he'd been human I would have killed him. I knew that. When I lived on the streets Animal Control came looking for me. They tried to catch me. Humans in cars with those capture sticks tried to catch me by throwing hotdogs at me. I heard some of the people in the neighborhood talk about them. They called them "rescue groups."

Sometimes I thought about letting them catch me. That would have ended badly.

"Hershey, it's just stuff. Nothing that can't be replaced. Losing control...tearing things up...hey, I've been there."

I didn't say anything. Images of what I'd seen flashed through my mind. Dean homeless. Dean on the streets, lost and wild-eyed.

"Was that a dream?"

"Nope." Dean shook his head. "That was a memory. I leaked. Sometimes I don't know my own strength." He looked around the room and sighed. "This is my fault, not yours."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did take me in that night?"

" 'cause you looked like you needed to get out of the rain." Dean said simply.

I couldn't think of anything to say to that.

Dean looked down at me. "We have to talk."

What was he going to say to me? I'm sorry, but you have to leave? I don't want you here anymore?

He let me go. I backed up and sat down.

"Damn chick flick moment."

"What?" Chick flick moment? I didn't know what that was. I didn't see any chicks or chickens in the house. Except for that cut up dead one in the refrigerator. It was covered in barbeque sauce.

"I always told you that if you stay or go it's up to you. I mean that. But you can't live your life like this. Bad dreams. Hiding behind the couch whenever somebody knocks on the door. Expecting me to hit you all the time. Even that Yorkie thing you do isn't good the way you use it. Being sneaky's one thing. Being ashamed of what you are? Dude, that's not good. Not good at all."

I stayed quiet.

"Look, I know none of this is your fault. Those two demon skanks mistreated you. You didn't deserve that. And I'm guessing that Crowley didn't do a damn thing when the shit hit the fan. He took their word over yours. Am I right?"

I nodded.

"Then fuck him. But you need to finish this. You need to choose how you're going to live. You deserve better. You got issues. So what? We all do. Don't stay sad. Don't get mad. Get even. Otherwise you'll be running from this for the rest of your life."

I stared at him.

"I'll help you as much as I can. If you want me to. But you need to find closure." He frowned and shook his head. "Damn. I can't believe I sound like Dr. Phil."

I don't know who Dr. Phil is either.

"Look, I'm gonna go upstairs and change, okay? If you want me to help you I will. We can decide what to do and we'll do it together if you want."

I nodded. I watched him leave, heard him go upstairs.

I felt something inside me then, something bright and downright wild. Life was good when I was a puppy. I was loved and cuddled and spoiled rotten. Things changed when I became grown. Once I grew up nobody ever talked to me the way Dean had. Like I was worth something, I mean. Nobody had ever given me a choice of how I could live. King Crowley certainly hadn't. Neither had the trainers. I still love them, but my mom and my pack never did either. Everyone always assumed that I would follow the family way, and I didn't question any of it.

Because I didn't know that I could.

I pricked my ears and stared up at the ceiling. I followed Dean's footsteps. He was in his bedroom now. It wouldn't take long for him to change clothes and come back.

I didn't want to be here when he came back downstairs.

I jumped down from the couch. I stood there for a moment with my ears and nose twitching. My insides felt jumpy, but in a good way. I didn't want to go out the back way. That would take too long. I turned and looked at the front door.

Perfect.

I raised up on my hind legs, reached out and shifted my paws into hands. I turned the knob. The door swung open. I was still two-legged when I walked out onto the porch and closed the door.

I wasn't paying attention to what was outside. I should have. I was focused on whether Dean knew I was leaving. If I heard him yell out "Hershey!" I was going to drop down on all fours and run like hell.

I turned and closed the door. Gently. Quietly.

Glass broke behind me. When I looked behind me I saw the rabbit man standing on the sidewalk in front of his house. A large brown paper grocery bag lay on the sidewalk in front of him. The sidewalk and the bottom of the bag was soggy with spilled milk. He stared at me open-mouthed, pale and shaking. The front of his pants was dark and wet. I lifted my nose and sniffed.

He peed on himself.

Good.

I was tired of hiding. Tired of feeling small. I didn't even bother to hide as a Yorkie. I let him see my true self. Bigger, blacker and even toothier than I was when he saw me out in the backyard with Dean. My eyes flashed electric blue. I dropped back down to all fours, wagged my tail and grinned at him.

"Well, how d'ya like me now, rabbit?" I told him.

He screamed and ran for his front door.

Damn humans with their damn noise.

I turned away from Dean's house. I didn't walk. I ran down the street. I felt young. Powerful, as if I could do any damn thing I wanted and right then I didn't give a damn who liked it and who didn't. I hadn't felt that good in a long long time.

I didn't have to sniff the ground to pick up a scent. I had a feeling. That's the best way I can describe it. I knew where I was going. I felt a pull in a certain direction, and it was the one direction I'd run away from all this time.

I ran towards the bad place.

Next: Hershey wants revenge but even that isn't easy.