New POV because it was the night before a convention and I was at my friends and probably on a sugar high. Yes I remember when I wrote this, even though it was months ago. Sshh that's not important have fun with a trip through Allistor's mind (that sounded weird) .

Allistor's POV

I was supposed to be excited to see Seamus. It had been a while since I saw him, but after our father left it seemed like being around him was a pain. He was fine until about sixteen, when he really snapped. All of the childhood anger has caught up to him.

Years later he still drove me nuts.

My mother was humming slightly to herself as she drove. It was a nice day. The sky was blue with a few puffy white clouds. The long grass was a beautiful green and swayed gently in the breeze. It was such a cliché.

Eventually we arrived at the tiny little farmhouse Seamus lived in. He and his girlfriend actually enjoyed this life. It really was something else. Nothing was around for miles. I hadn't thought of anything on the way here except for the gentle grass. It had a hypnotizing effect to it. Now my brain started working again. It told me that I shouldn't have come.

His girlfriend wasn't home. It was probably better that way because I couldn't remember her name for the life of me. Taking one look at the kitchen, my mom dove back into her car and disappeared down the road. Seamus didn't have much in the way of food at his place.

This left me alone with him. He was different now. He might look the same, but he seemed to have forgotten about Father and Arthur and Dylan. He happily chattered about whatever came to mind. I heard him mention chickens and cattle, but I really was just tuning him out. I had followed him into the kitchen where he was putting away a stack of shining white plates.

It was a nice kitchen, with white floors and counter tops. The cabinets were a dark wood. A window stood over the sink, and a normal light fixture hung above our heads. A rack of cookbooks sat next to the counter. I studied them as Seamus rambled on.

I hadn't spent a day in a car to hear this nonsense.

"Seamus," I snapped.

He looked up, confused.

"The chickens are all very nice but there's an elephant in the room and we're ignoring it. We've both changed, yes. But you know how Mother hates this farm. Why do you think she disappeared? That's not the real issue. The real issue is you. You're insufferable, and by the end of this I'll have spent two days in a car to see you for less than twenty four hours. You know we haven't gotten along in years. Then why would we now? We're only going to give Mother a heartache with how unkind her children are to each other. Honestly, even Arthur is better to be around than you."

The next thing I knew I was dodging the cookbooks I had just been admiring, as they were now flying at my head. He was steaming. I wasn't sure what had hit a nerve. Insulting his life, talking about our mother's dislike for his life, insulting his person, or maybe it was saying Arthur's name. Yeah... It was probably that last one.

"I don't care what Mother thinks of my lifestyle! She can't control my life! But you, you think you can do whatever. Listen to me Flameboy-"

I flinched. His once endearing nickname that came from my vivid hair color now dripped with venom.

"-don't not compare me to that dirty rotten excuse of a human. He tore us apart. Maybe I would've stayed in the city. Maybe Dylan wouldn't have left and ignored us all. I get ignoring that brat of a brother, but you and me? Oh no, we never did anything. If I could I would teach that little idiot a lesson-"

I was done. I had played along with it for too long. I loved Arthur. He was my little brother, my best friend. But I did what I had to do for the family. With Seamus so out of it I was the man of the house. And if they believed that it was Arthur's fault then I had to let it be. The truth would only tear us farther apart.

I hated every second of it. Having to scorn my little brother, who had no idea what was going on. He didn't know what he had done. He didn't know that he had done nothing.

But the truth had slept too long. It was time.

"I want you to listen to me, and listen close. Arthur was not responsible for our father leaving. I'm not sure why he blamed Arthur. Father and I both knew it was my fault. Maybe he thought you all could forgive Arthur, even if you couldn't forgive me. I'm not sure. Either way it became Arthur's weight to carry. And I had to go with it. I had to sacrifice my best friend to keep you and Mother and Dylan from falling farther apart. Don't treat him like the gum on your shoe, I'm the one that needs the blame."

I felt the anger. I knew right away that he could sense that I was telling the truth.

"What did you do?" he growled.

I felt the tears pricking the corners of my eyes. I couldn't relive it, not yet. It was too much at once.

"If I could tell you I would. But right now is too soon."

Seamus had been my brother when I had abandoned Arthur. I hoped he still had love in him. Love for someone other than his girlfriend.

He did.

We spent the rest of our time alone sitting high up in the tree by his dirt driveway. My thoughts were heavy. I had kept that secret for so long, why did I spill it out now? Especially the fact I told Seamus. Arthur is the one that deserved to know. Seamus had done nothing for any of us. When we got back tomorrow I would tell Arthur.

Mother's now dusty red car pulled up and she disappeared into the house with food for a feast.

And a feast it was. She really had outdone herself. It was a normal night. We spent time catching up on each other's lives. Seamus talked about the land and his plans. Mother talked about work. I listened, like I always did. There wasn't much I ever had to say. Arthur was never once mentioned. Mother went to sleep early for the drive home tomorrow.

Seamus didn't say anything ad we sat in the dying light. His comfort radiated off him, and I knew that while he wasn't on good terms with me, brotherly love still existed somewhere deep down inside him. I wasn't sure why he was quick to scorn Arthur but even quicker to forgive me. It bothered me, pulled at some part of me that said "this isn't right." But I ignored that for now. Someday I would be able to relive the rest of the truth. Someday. Then we would see what Seamus really felt.

I realized that we had told Arthur we would be gone four days, not three. I hoped that he was prepared. Mother always gave him a hard time just for existing. For my own safety I couldn't defend him, not yet. Once I got stronger though, then I would break out of her grip and save us both. I had to. I liked to say that that had been my plan all along, but when I was younger I really was glad to have myself saved. I didn't realize how torn apart Arthur was until recently. He was the only one to ever go in Father's office, and it took me a while to figure out that he did. Ever since I heard him snoring from behind the closed door one morning I had been checking every night. It wasn't often that he slept upstairs. Father's disappearance might have had a longer lasting effect on him than any of us. Maybe it was because he knew it wasn't his fault, even if we told him it was.

I shook my head. Too many thoughts, not enough sleep.

I decided to follow Mother's example and left Seamus sitting by himself to ponder his own thoughts. The silence of the remote area was nice as I cleared my mind.

I had drifted off to sleep before the sun had set.