A/N: this one is slightly longer as i just kept writing as new ideas popped into my overcrowded head. so many ideas for this story are roaming in my head it makes it hard to choose just one. in this chapter we look into Cara's past, the good and the bad. Enjoy! Still do not own anything

Putting Fears to Rest

Chapter 7

Cara's P.O.V

When I stepped outside to make a call my phone rang. My brother in law Chris was calling, immediately I went into Alpha mode.

"Blye."

"Alpha…" he was breathless and I felt a cold dread settle in the pit of my stomach. "We have a problem." His voice was scared portraying he was fearing my reaction. My mind went to Alex.

"Alex?" my voice cracked slightly.

"No." that single two letter word got my heart beating again.

"Then what Chris!" I snapped. My patience was at an end.

He was quiet for a few seconds before he sighed, when he started speaking his voice was hushed and sad. "The quad that was sitting on Deeks' apartment saw movement so they went in to investigate. They failed to check in so me and a few others went to check and…." He stopped and I felt the loss before it was confirmed. Though I knew where he was going I needed to hear the words.

"And what?" I asked softly.

"All four wolves were found with their heads severed from their bodies. i felt my wolf coil and let lose a growl from my human throat. without another word I hung up the phone and stormed back into the mission. I let my mind wander to the men and women that were watching his apartment.

Wanda, she was so young, wanting to prove herself in the eyes of her Alpha. She wasn't old enough for a mate but she still had a family.

Josh, he and his wife just had a child, a baby girl. I met the little girl when Josh asked me to bless her. I spoke soft words of love and happiness and now she would never know her father.

Carter and his mate Bridget, they had two boys just starting high school, well on their way to becoming fine young wolves set to take after their father and mother. And now they will have to go through the change without the guidance and security of their parents.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear, see or smell Kensi and her team come up and stand behind me. All were at a safe distance except Kensi.

"Cara!" I spun around staring into Kensi's polychrome eyes that marked the only difference between us. "What is going on?" I felt another growl rise as my lips curled back in a snarl. I registered Nell flinch slightly; I made a mental note to put her fears to rest, that I would never dream of hurting her. When Kensi kept staring at me I felt my anger at Jack grow again.

"A quad of my wolves had cornered Jack just outside of Deeks' apartment. As they tried to detain them he…" my chest was heaving in anger, as I remembered the lives lost and the lives affected.

"Cara you need to calm down." Was she serious!

"Calm down!" I yelled, but she kept staring me down and took a step towards me with every ounce of determination that she had.

"Yes, you need to calm down and tell us what happened!" she yelled back. This wasn't my sister speaking to me, this was agent Blye. I nodded slightly but my anger was still gripping my heart.

"Jack just killed four of my wolves! When they didn't check in Chris went to check on them and found their heads rolling on the pavement." I ran a hand through my hair.

I despised losing my wolves to anything just as much as Kensi hated people threatening her family, hence why I was there in the first place. Kensi was still my sister so therefore apart of my pack and by extension so were the people of OSP. The fact that they were in danger because a mistake I made ten years ago set the flame to turn my anger to rage. Finally my anger was too much and I drew my sword and swung it at the metal grate behind Callen's desk. It sliced through it like it was butter. Then as quickly as it had come my anger died and dissipated into nothingness. I saw Nell once again flinch but she held her head high.

"I'm so sorry sister; I know how much you hate that." Kensi's voice was soft a stark difference to Sam and Callen's calculating gaze wondering if I would hurt Kensi or not.

"No, I am sorry," I said loud enough for the whole team to hear. "I should have handled that better." I saw Sam soften slightly.

"It's okay we all deal with the loss of our team differently. We all know what it's like to lose people close to us." Callen said portraying with words how Sam was feeling.

"It still does not excuse my outburst." I looked to Kensi and I knew that she understood.

"I think…" she said slowly. "That father would understand Cara. He would commend you for being so loyal to your soliders. He would say that 'when you feel nothing when loosing men to war…"

"You become the monster you are fighting." I finished for her. I looked up. "Thank you Kens."

And that effectively ended the conversation, but I had to put someone's mind to rest. "Nell?" I said softly as she started towards the stairs. He back went rigid, Kensi noticed and stayed by my side.

"Yes?" she said finally turning to look at me. She tried to hide it well but I could see the fear.

"Nell I wish to put your mind at ease, if you will let me." I could see her analyzing me and my words. And clearly my words contradicted my actions a few minutes ago. But when she looked to Kensi, I was grateful when she nodded slightly with a smile, then left to continue teaching Deeks the basics of swordsmanship.

"Come with me." I said as I walked to the fountain in the entrance. Thankfully it was the weekend and the mission was barren. I sat on the ledge with my back to the calming sound of the fountain. "Please sit, I do not bite." That got a small chuckle from her.

She sat but with reasonable distance between us, I could smell the fear rolling off of her. "Well?" she asked after a few moments.

"You are angry at Kensi, yes?"

I saw a flash of hurt on her face. "Not angry, hurt. I feel almost… betrayed that she didn't trust me enough to tell me about you."

"But, she did not tell Deeks either. She did not tell you for the same reason that she did not tell him." I wanted her to interact with me so I stopped there knowing that she was a curious human and needed all of the facts.

"And that reason would be?"

"She was scared. Yes the business you work in is full of danger but Nell you have to understand that the supernatural world is even more dangerous than all of the classified information that goes through these walls. And it is even more dangerous for me and her since I took my title as Alpha and declared war on the vampires. If I had not it would have been likely that me and Kensi would have been killed merely because we have the gene."

I saw her nod, but something was still bothering her. So I silently waited while she formed the words that seemed stuck. "You clearly have anger issues." I nodded at her rhetorical question. "Have you ever killed a human because of that?"

I knew that I could not lie to Nell if I ever wanted her to trust me. My shoulders slumped as I remembered the darkest part of my life. "Yes, once when I was 15."

"Kensi said that it was an early change making it painful."

"Yes. It also made me unstable and I broke from the restraints placed on me to protect me. It was then that father and mother knew that I was different. Anyway I broke loose and I ran to the woods. They were solitude for me and Kensi ever since we were told what we were. My anger was immense feeding off of my pain. It seemed as though every emotion converted to anger." I shook my head is disgust.

"The only solace I have was that the man himself was a monster." I said softly.

Finally Nell looked over at me and her expression softly at the look in my eyes. "Why was he a monster?"

I took a deep breath and continue. "I was walking trying to control myself when I heard a scream. I knew that the pitch of the voice that it was a woman and she feared for her life. So following the sounds I came across a running path and a man had a woman pressed to a tree with a knife to her throat." I dipped my hand into the cool water. "I knew that the man was going to..." I shook my head. "He was going to r…"

"He was going to rape her?"

I nodded. "I knew that he would then kill her. It felt as though when I had something to channel my anger on everything finally became clear. I will save you the details but the man's body was never found. And the woman was so grateful she actual hugged me while I was still a wolf. She did not know what I was but to her I had saved her life and she was thankful."

I looked to Nell. "So is everything in you and Kensi's world so dark and twisted?" he voiced dipped with sarcasm and pain for her friend.

I chuckled. "Watch." I poised my hand above the water and focused on a rabbit. A glob of water rose from the fountain and molded itself into a rabbit. The apparition hopped around Nell and her laughter filled the entrance hall. "Not everything is dark and twisted. Some of it is beautiful, and magical." Another apparition formed from the water this time a Pegasus. "However mankind is not ready for it, they would take people like me and Kensi, and beings like Pegasus and use them, study them use them for their unjust wars. When all most of the supernatural world wants is peace. And that is what I am trying to obtain by eliminating the threat."

The winged horse grew to full size and its clear blue eyes looked down to Nell while flapping its wings. "Wow." There was a childlike wonder on her face that reminded me of Kensi when we were little and I showed her a similar thing. She reached a hand up to the fetlock of the winged horse only for it to dip into the cool water.

"I at times may seem cold, dangerous and unforgiving even murderous. But Nell, I would never hurt you or anyone that Kensi holds close. She may not be a full blown wolf but she is my sister and she is a part of my pack making you and the team a part of it as well. I would do anything to protect all of you." a deep conviction in my voice was all Nell needed to understand.

"I understand now. She was just trying to protect us."

"Yes she was." We watched as Pegasus playfully reared up as the rabbit hopped around its wings. The neigh of the winged horse was soft and inviting. We sat there for several minutes just watching the two lifeless apparitions gallivant around.

"As a child I always believed in magic, and now that I'm an adult I'm witnessing It." she had a soft smile on her face, it was something I would cherish; that I could put Nell at ease and showed her that magic can be real and beautiful.

"You remind me of Kensi when I first learned to do this and showed her. It was just after father was murdered. She was so sad and a shadow of herself. I was sad to but I knew that eventually things would be alright. But it had seemed as though she had given up, she was 17 and had yet to change." I stood up and stood next to Pegasus, his right wing furled and draped over me. "I showed her this, one of the most majestic creatures of our world, to remind her that although darkness may seem to win what is right and just will always prevail."

Nell stood up and surprised me when he arms wrapped around my waist in a tight hug. I hugged he back. "Thank you." she whispered.

"For what?" I asked softly.

"For showing me that you aren't dangerous. You saw my fear about you and showed me that I have nothing to fear." I tightened my grip slightly at her words.

"Kensi thinks of you as a sister Nell. I could not let you keep on fearing what I and she are.

She nodded pulling away. I knew she had work to do but she didn't want to tear her eyes away from Pegasus. "Hey, anytime you want to see something beautiful that magic can do because you are upset or sad just call me ok. I am only ever a phone call away Nell." I flashed my crooked smile and she nodded. This time she didn't flinch when she saw my canines the only things marking me a wolf while I stood on two legs I watched as she walked back up to OPS. I knew that I had one team member at ease with me, now to tackle Sam, Callen, Eric and most importantly Deeks.

When I saw Sam walking by I quickly walked up to him. "Sam!" he turned in time to see the apparition of Pegasus and the rabbit fade back into the fountain.

"Yea?"

"I need to speak with you, one on one."

He seemed uneasy just as Nell. But I wanted Kensi's second family to accept me and accept what we both were. "Please Sam, I just want to prove to you that I am here to help and am not a danger." I knew where he would want to have this conversation in a place he felt comfortable, and in control.

"The gym." He said gruffly. I nodded and followed him. Kensi and Deeks must have finished in the gym because they were nowhere to be seen. "They are scavenging the cabinets for breakfast."

"I will call Chris and have him bring you all a breakfast of choice, and Kensi's donuts. She can be scary without her morning caffeine and sugar."

That got a chuckle and nod from the SEAL. "Yes she is. Was she always like that?"

I laughed. "oh yea. Do not tell her I told you this but when we were little she used to sneak snacks into our room at night so that on the weekends we would pig out to movies at night. Sweets for her and anything salty for me." I smiled fondly at the memory of a time when we were not marred by fathers' murder or the pain of the change for me.

I noticed Sam was donning sparing gloves as he looked pointedly at me. I nodded and unstrapped my sword from my waist. Nell needed to see the beauty in the darkness; whereas Sam need to know I was legit, that I could protect his little sister, even though by right she was my sister by blood. But if anything being here taught me it was that blood doesn't make family bonds, trust does. And I need this OSP team to trust me like Kensi did.

"Aren't you going to put gloves on?"

I shook my head. "Nope." He looked skeptical but nodded. "Give me everything you've got Sam." I said with a small smirk.

For several minutes we were quiet, sticking here and there sparing every time. "So, werewolf huh?"

I chuckled. "Yes. Kensi and I have had extensive training, me more so because I go through the change."

"How often do you train?"

"Every day, sometimes for an hour and others after a day like today I will spend an entire day moving from my swordsmanship to my archery to my marksmanship with my guns."

"Why swords and bows, and not just modern weapons?"

"The supernatural underworld prides itself on its weapons craftsmanship." He landed a hard blow to my stomach, his arm staying to add more effect but I was unfazed as I grabbed his arm and twisted with a leg tripping him. "Rarely are guns and other modern weapons used by the supernatural. Even the enemy prefers more primitive weapons." I say looking down at Sam.

"Does Kensi know how to use these weapons?" he asked as he stood up. Without missing a beat I aimed a punch to his face, knowing he would block it I halted the fist and brought my other hand up and struck him in the ribs, not at full force of course.

"Yes she does. It is like riding a bike, you can't unlearn it. Whether she kept up training after I had to cut communication with her I do not know."

He dove for my legs but I side stepped easily and brought an elbow down on his back sending him sprawling, sweat began to poor down his face.

"Why did you cut communication?" As soon as he was standing I brought a kick up aiming for his neck but he easily caught my leg and tried to kick my other leg out from under me. And he wouldn't have succeeded if he was sparing with wolf speed but I didn't want to hurt the man. I went sprawling on the mat.

Standing up I saw that he was taking his gloves off waiting for my answer. "At first I had to cut ties with her and mother only physically. We still called and talked. That was 7 years ago. I had to stop all communication about 2 years ago when the war started to climax. I sent word every month that I was okay and how the war effort was going but even that had to be done in precise steps. So I knew about you guys and knew about Deeks."

Sam smiled at that. "Always knew she was stuck on him."

"As Callen put it 'stuck, smitten, whatever'. I laughed so hard when she told me that. She was oh so very confused why I was laughing." I started laughing as I remembered her voice as she tried to deny what so obviously clear. "I told her that I could not even see her in person but just by how her voice changed, became lighter and happier that she was indeed, stuck, smitten, whatever." Sam laughing was a good sign.

"Look I never left her completely; I know that my sister has abandonment issues, which are why I sent word that I was okay. I did it to protect her, just as she didn't tell you because she wanted to protect you."

"I can understand that, I would do the same thing."

"Good, she will not say it but I know that she is worried that all of you will hate her."

"Nah, she is my little sister. What I have a hard time wrapping my brain around is that there is a wolf hiding somewhere in you."

This brought forth a whole-hearted laugh, it felt good. "Yea that is what father used to say to us."

"Do you mind if I ask you something."

"Ask away."

I saw him trying to form the question. "May I see your wolf skin?"

I smiled and nodded as I backed up. Changing my skin had become second nature over the years. I felt the pleasant feeling of my bones stretching my skin molding. Within a few seconds I was my 7 foot tall black wolf. I could see Sam processing what was before him. I lay down with my head on my paws, ears pricked forward to put him at ease.

He walked slowly up to me with a hand raised. With the wagging of my tail I hoped that it would settle him the rest of the way, and it did. His hand came to rest between my gray and black eyes. I could see wonder in his eyes.

"This is amazing." He whispered as his hand traveled down to my snout. "Open that mouth." A deep rumble in my chest was my wolf's way of laughing, as I opened my massive maw. My teeth we longer than my sword and just as sharp. "You are quite the imposing force Cara Blye." He said as I shut my maw and molded myself back to my two legs.

"That is what the vampires say when they see me, right before they run with their tails between their legs in the opposite direction.