A/N: I'm a bit late to the party, but here's a short-ish story meant to celebrate the birthday of one Asuka Langley-Sohryu. I haven't got much else to say here, other than letting you know that I might re-visit this setting in the future some more if any good ideas happen to come my way. So do remember to smash that Follow button if you like what you read!
And without further ado, enjoy, dear reader. Do leave a comment with your thoughts if you feel like it.
4th of December 2016:
My name is Shinji Ikari, and today is a special day.
Today, December the 4th, we celebrate the birthday of the Great Asuka Langley-Sohryu, who happens to be my girlfriend.
...
...Girlfriend. My girlfriend.
Huh. I know that I've had a full year to get used to that idea, but the combination of words still sounds foreign to me from time to time. I never was all that great with change, after all, and the one that hit my life last December was anything but a small one.
That doesn't stop Asuka from being... adamant about reminding me of the current status-quo whenever my mind starts to wander. And she always manages to figure out when I'm doing just that, too. She must have a sixth sense, or something.
But that's neither here nor now.
"Five little monkeys jumping on the bed...!"
I chuckle softly at my little sister's carefree humming and decide that it's probably better to focus again on the task at hand, lest the two women of my life decide to team up and harshly bring me back to reality.
Said task being, making a big snowman in our garden out of the snow that fell yesterday night. And it has to look like Dad, too. Or at least look similar enough for Rei to consider it a job well done.
Which means that we're probably going to be here for a while. Even with Asuka and her considerable artistic abilities being here to lend a hand.
My sister's a perfectionist like that.
Not that I mind all that much, though. Spending an afternoon playing silly games with Rei is a good use of my time. She's probably feeling a bit lonely, too, what with Dad and Mom having been crashing at the lab since last Saturday.
That's the cruel reality of having workaholics for parents. Asuka's mom isn't any better, either, which is why she's been staying the nights over this last few days, on grounds of helping Rei cope.
...Not that she's doing it just for Rei's benefit, mind you, but you won't hear me complaining about that.
"Earth to Shinji!" A pair of very well-cared for fingers suddenly snap in front of my eyes, bringing me out of my thoughts. "Respond, Shinji!"
"Huh?"
"You've been seriously spaced out for a while now," Asuka comments, a tinge of worry in her voice. "You all right?"
"Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking, about stuff."
"Stuff, huh? About just how well your present suits me, I bet?" Asuka's curious look transforms into a smug smile, as she makes a show of proudly caressing her earlobes. "I can't blame you. Being this beautiful should be a crime, after all."
...And being so full of oneself probably should, too, but that's Asuka for you; I have to admit that I made a good choice with those earrings, though. They might not be the most expensive thing ever (my savings can't carry me that far) but the emerald look-alikes look very good on my girlfriend's ears.
So good, in fact, that Rei has already pretty much demanded I buy her a pair when her next birthday comes up, too. Here's to hoping that Asuka will be willing to help me a bit with that, because I don't know where I'm going to be getting the money from, otherwise.
"Shin-nii, Asuka-nee!" my little sister indignantly calls out from her position between us, just as I'm about to respond. "We haven't finished!"
Asuka suddenly goes stiff as a board, before throwing an apologetic and somewhat fearful smile in the direction of the little runt.
"Oh, r-right! Sorry, Rei-chan."
Geez. Not even Asuka dares to go against the little tyrant's wishes, it looks like. Goes to show just how smart she is.
In any case, we continue working under the arbitrary guidance of our eight year old sculptor for the better part of an hour. Adding more snow here, taking out some there, adding more snow to the place we just took it from...
You get the idea.
Ultimately, though, we manage to pull off a pretty convincing snowman. Or rather, Asuka does, with some assistance from me and my sister; it's got all the things that could be expected out of a typical snowman, like the wooden little arms, black stones for a mouth, and even a carrot for a nose.
A pretty great job, if I do say so myself.
"Okay, it's done," Asuka declares, putting her hands on her hips as she usually does. She's obviously thinking the same thing I am. "What do you think, Rei?"
But my little dictator of a sister, much to my chagrin (and Asuka's no doubt), remains silent. She twists this and that way, the white pompom of her winter cap following her movements as she observes the snowman from every angle imaginable, and then a few more. Finally, she stands in front of the supposed sculpture of my father, humming to herself in deep thought.
Asuka and I share a look, very much dreading where this is going.
"...No," Rei ultimately declares, turning to face us with a displeased look. "It's not finished yet."
I can hear Asuka mutter 'What now?' under her breath, low enough for Rei not to catch. I certainly echo her sentiment, not that said fact is going to help us much.
You see, I love my little sister to bits, but she can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.
"It doesn't have glasses!" Rei continues, chiding us on the obvious in that way only little children can properly pull off. "It can't be daddy if it doesn't have glasses!"
To her credit, though, my little sister does have a point this time. Those weird glasses that he insists on carrying everywhere are a trademark of my father's after all, so I can see why she would want to get a pair on her work for the afternoon.
The problem is, I'm not completely sure if Dad keeps a spare pair around the house. My memories are leaning towards 'No', though.
Not that such a thing is going to stop Rei from bugging us about finding a solution, so I better get to work thinking about that.
'And where am I going to get my hands on a pair of glasses, now? It's not like Asuka or me have any need for them.'
The answer to my plight, however, comes much sooner than I expected, in the form of a very loud and very familiar voice, sounding from somewhere near the entrance to my household.
"YAHOO~! GOOD AFTERNOON!" in my mind's eye, I can picture the owner of the voice walking forward with a huge grin on her face, and her arms probably thrown up into the air. "PRINCESS, PUPPY-KUN, WE'RE HERE~!"
In response, Asuka's right hand instantly goes up to meet her face. I don't need my mind's eye to imagine that one.
"Oh, gods."
Personally, I have to keep myself from rolling my eyes a bit at my girlfriend's reaction.
I mean, sure, Makinami-san's usual antics might be annoying for her a lot of the time, but even I can tell that Asuka very much prefers having her around to the alternative.
I'm not going to be the brave soul to call her out on that, though. That way lies a sure-fire way of bringing out that infamous side of my girlfriend that she seldom shows around me anymore.
But I digress. I should put my attention on the two approaching figures, and see if they can lend us a hand with finishing the little tyrant's afternoon project, so that we can go inside already; it's only going to get colder as time marches on, after all, and it wouldn't do for Rei to get sick out of sheer pigheadedness. Because I could totally see that happening.
...Sometimes I wonder just how much of a bad influence Asuka has been on my sister over the years.
"Happy birthday, Princess!" Mari gleefully calls out at the top of her lungs, suddenly breaking off into a run as soon as she clears the doorway into the garden and heading directly for Asuka. She goes into a jumping tackle the very moment she is within striking distance...
...And faceplants into the snow when Asuka casually sidesteps out of the way.
"P-Princess!" the downed girl exclaims, spitting some snow out of her mouth."Why did you move away?!"
"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice..." Asuka coldly responds, no doubt referring to the successful tackle Makinami-san pulled off this morning; Asuka was not amused about that one. "You've already congratulated me, by the way. Is your goldfish memory acting up again, or what?"
"P-Puppy-kun..." Makinami-san turns to me, teary-eyed and pouting pitifully. "Princess is being mean..."
And you aren't going to be getting any help from me, Makinami-san. I wouldn't hear the end of it from Asuka and I have to be looking for my best interests, here.
Sorry, but that's just the way things are.
Thankfully for the continued well-being of my heart-strings, Makinami-san finally notices Rei and moves to change targets as if nothing happened.
"Oh, Rei-chan! Good afternoon!"
Only for her face to meet the ground for the second time in less than a minute, as my sister quickly hides behind the snow Daddy.
"R-Rei-chan?!" Makinami-san's incredulous tone finds its way back into her voice."You too?!"
Rei peeks around the side of the snowman just enough to glare in Mari's direction, before speaking in no uncertain terms:
"We are working. Do not disturb."
Struck silent by Rei's (quite literal) cold shoulder, Makinami-san's eyes visibly water once again and she turns to look at each of us in sequence, her expression turning more and more theatrically sorrowful with each completed circle.
By the third lap, soft whining sounds have been added into the mix to make a truly terrifying combination. It's a wonder how Asuka and Rei can withstand the pressure so stoically and, in my girlfriend's case, even dish it back in a different manner.
Me, I use this time to ponder just how great the base of our snowman has turned out. I don't think I could last even one second of looking into those eyes.
"...Why are you all being so mean today?"
Makinami-san eventually asks with a thin sliver of voice.
"Probably because they are fed up with your idiot act, Makinami. Will you stop it, already?" My good friend, Kensuke Aida, calmly walks over to the rest of our group, lugging a decently-sized black coffer of sorts behind him. He smiles and nods his head in greeting. "Hello, you two."
"Hi, Ken," I greet back, catching Makinami-san collapse into her hands out of the corner of my eye but making no comment of it. "No news from Toji?"
"Nah, I'm afraid that he hasn't managed to shake off the Class Rep. He's probably cramming like crazy in order to pass that Science retry test," Kensuke looks at me knowingly over the top of his glasses. "Then again, maybe not."
His remark instantly brings out a snort of disgust from Asuka. That manages to shift her focus from Mari to Kensuke, so I'll say that's probably a good thing.
"Get your mind out of the gutter, Aida. Hikari's not like that."
Kensuke, for his part, shrugs casually.
"Whatever you say, Red."
It's clear as water that he's not as certain of Asuka's words as she is, though, and neither am I, to be honest. After all, Toji's grades in his weakest subjects haven't really improved at all in all the time they've been at it, and Horaki-san isn't exactly known for being a bad tutor.
More like an iron-fisted one.
In most occasions, anyway. Which makes the fishiness of the whole thing even more noticeable.
But I'm not one for idle gossip, so instead, I shift my attention to Kensuke's baggage. Asuka's stare must have also shifted to it, because Kensuke launches into an explanation without any need for questions.
"A few assorted things from the big baby down there," he gestures with his head towards Makinami's slowly recovering form. "You don't want to know, but I bet you'll find out somewhere down the line, anyway."
"Well, that's reassuring."
I silently echo Asuka's words with a deep sigh. Years of meetings with Makinami-san have left a deeply ingrained fear of any kind of preparations the crazy girl might pull off. Nothing good can ever come out of them.
...Maybe with the exception of the events of last December. I've got to admit that the end result of that one was far more grounded and positive than what Mari has us accustomed to.
A faint air of gloom sets within the group at the news. Doubly so for Asuka, who I bet is dreading any potentially crazy antics that may ruin her birthday.
"We haven't finished!" the little dictator whines loudly, stomping her feet and making Kensuke cringe slightly. "Don't distract them, Ken-kun!"
"Oops. Sorry, Rei-chan. What's this you're building?"
At Kensuke's question, Rei's expression makes a complete one-eighty and, this time, I don't really bother with trying to resist the urge to roll my eyes. My friend notices, and throws me a knowing smile.
This little runt, I tell you...
"It's Daddy!"
"Oh, right. Your father, huh?" Kensuke comments while he looks at the snowman appraisingly. "That's pretty good. Although I'd personally have the mouth aiming downwards, though. Probably a frown, too."
"Why?" my little sister questions, tilting her head cutely to the side. "Daddy isn't sad. Mommy and him are always happy!"
"…Yeah, happy," Kensuke suddenly cringes and shudders, much to my surprise. "Sure, let's roll with that."
...That's odd. I sure get the feeling that he's remembering something unpleasant, but I can't think of any time my father and him have met in which my dad wasn't anything less than pleasant; by his standards, anyway.
Now I'm curious. I'll have to ask Ken about that sometime.
But, for now, better get back on topic if I want to ever get back inside the house.
"In any case, we need a pair of glasses in order to finish the snowman," I suddenly feel my sister's boring gaze on my person, and quickly amend my statement, "...I mean, Daddy," Kensuke mercilessly chuckles at my plight. "You wouldn't happen to have a spare pair on hand, would you?"
"OHO~!"
A sudden shout comes out of nowhere and Mari suddenly stands up right beside me, almost giving me a heart attack in the process. I had completely forgotten she was even there!
"As it so happens, I have one pair right here!"
"Really?!"
...My dearest little sister's sheer delight is only matched by her lack of concern about her older brother's well-being.
Joy.
"Of course, little Rei-chan!" Mari reaffirms her assertion and strikes a pose, putting her hands on her hips and sticking her chest out. She also guffaws loudly, shouting a very loud and very clear 'HO,HO,HO!'.
...And I don't really know what the point of that is but, well...
Mari Makinami.
I mean, who does she think she is? Santa?
In any case, the madwoman keeps the pose for a few moments before finally launching into the audibly announced producing of the glasses. And she does so in her usual manner, of course.
Namely, by plucking them off of the face of an unsuspecting Kensuke.
"Here, use these!"
Who is understandably less than happy, mind you.
"The hell?!"
"What? She asked for some glasses!" Mari crosses her arms and narrows her eyes at my friend after handing glasses to an ecstatic little tyrant (who is more than happy to make use of them regardless of the method of acquisition), continuing in a condemning voice soon after. "I didn't think that you were the kind to deny little children their fun, Ota-kun."
"I'm not! But don't take the things of others without permission!"
"Details, details..." Ken's protests fall on deaf ears, much as I expected. But what follows is something that actually catches me by surprise. "You look better without them anyway, Aida-kun. Ever thought of using contacts?"
I'd say it's the same for Kensuke and Asuka, who are both instantly struck silent. My girlfriend follows her silence with her best imitation of a fish, while a fairly sizable blush quickly gains ground throughout Kensuke's face.
"...N-Not really." He eventually manages to stammer out.
"Then that's truly a shame."
Makinami calmly walks away a few steps, humming to herself and completely ignoring the confusion that she has just caused. She then suddenly crouches down to the ground, grabs and compacts a snowball in one fluid motion and throws it in something vaguely resembling a baseball pitch...
...Straight into Asuka's face.
"What's the big idea, you idiot?!"
As to be expected, my girlfriend's infamous anger doesn't take long to surface.
"This is payback, Princess," Mari seriously elaborates, narrowing her eyes. "Since you have so brazenly turned down all of my attempts at wishing you a happy birthday, I'm afraid that this is the last option you've left me with."
"That's because you never do stuff like a normal person! And what the hell are you going on about now, anyway?"
"I officially challenge you to a duel, Asuka Langley-Sohryu! That's what I'm talking about!" Makinami declares, pointing an accusing finger towards Asuka. "I shall defeat you, snowball-a-snowball, and take all of the hugs as the prize for my victory! Prepare yourself!"
As the echo of Makinami-san's words fades into the distance, a heavy silence sets on the garden of the Ikari residence, only broken by the faint crunching and slapping sounds of Rei dutifully putting the finishing touches on the Dad-man.
"...Are you all right, Glasses? You're sounding more stupid than usual," Asuka eventually asks, in something worryingly close to honest concern. "Did you get brain-freeze or something?"
I'm not sure of the extent to which I agree with Asuka's assertion, but that's not what worries me at the moment. Far from it.
My mind is currently fully occupied with the knowledge that a crisis is approaching very quickly, and that I should be making a top priority of looking for some cover. If past experience is to repeat itself, the situation isn't going to be calming down any time soon, I'm afraid.
"Oh~? What is this, Princess? Are you scared?" Mari taunts back, sounding way more confident than I've ever heard. "Worried that I'll make you look bad in front of Puppy-kun?"
"As if that would happen. That's it! You are so eating those words, Stupid Glasses!"
...Yeah, definitely start looking for some cover, right the hell now; Asuka has her game face on, which means that she's well beyond caring about collateral damage. Makinami-san's expression is weirder and harder to pinpoint, but it does little to assuage my fears, either, quite the opposite.
Without letting another second pass by, I let my survival instincts take hold of my actions. My last rational thought as the two women duck to grab a handful of snow, is to pick up Rei and high-tail it back inside the house.
...I only pray that the walls will be thick enough to protect us.
-O-O-O-O-O-
My name is Asuka Langley-Sohryu, and I'm cold.
"You should really be more careful, Asuka."
Shinji Ikari, my darling boyfriend, chides me in that voice full of worry that he uses whenever he wants to make me feel guilty over something.
And, to be fair, he has more than enough reason to be using it right now.
"...How was I supposed to know that the stupid tree was going to drop all that snow?"
My petulant comeback sounds weak even to me, and Shinji doesn't even deign it with a response. Instead, he redoubles his hair-drying efforts, chuckling softly as he does.
"What's so funny?" I mutter back. "I'd like to see you get covered in snow from head to toe!"
And just how did that stupid Glasses even manage to get out in time, anyway?! She was right there under the tree with me, dammit!
The whole thing wouldn't have been half as bad had she not been laughing her ass off the entire time!
And let me tell you, it was not fun. Good thing I decided to bring some spare clothes with me when I temporarily moved into the Ikari residence. My house isn't exactly far away, but every second spent in those snow-filled clothes was already one too many.
I kinda regret taking off my parka in the heat of the moment as I did, too. The amount of frigid snow in contact with my body would have been far less had I kept it on me.
But what's done is done; I'll just concede the point and be thankful that Shinji's quick reflexes saved me from freezing my ass off for any longer than I had to.
...
...Even if I hate it when he's right.
"So long as you learned your lesson," Shinji eventually responds, putting the towel away and getting to work with redressing my hair back into a semblance of normalcy. "But, hey, if it makes you feel better, I don't think I could pull off the look half as well as you do, Asuka."
As the brush makes its way through and straightens the mess that is my mane, Shinji's free fingers massage the side of my head in a really enjoyable way.
Which goes to show just how far we've come in a single year, now that I think about it. Chances are I would have bitten his head off had he dared to pat my head like this, back then, but now?
Now, I don't want him to stop.
"Tell me something I don't know," I purr happily, wordlessly telling Shinji to keep going.
With that, I decide that closing my eyes and focusing on the pleasurable feeling of the Baka's fingers running over my scalp is a far better use of my time. The sensation of Shinji's warm body on my back is also a welcome weapon against the cold (even if it's not as bad as it was a few minutes ago, anymore), sitting on the couch almost on top of each other as we currently are. He doesn't seem to mind that his emergency caring ended up soaking his indoor shirt, either.
...
...It might have been the result of an accident this time, but I could seriously get used to this. I wouldn't mind taking a nap like this at some point, at the very least.
Shinji's legs might not be totally on board with that idea, though.
Maybe later. But for now, I actually want to ask my dearest Baka about something.
"...Hey, Shinji," I whisper, turning around and peeking over his head and towards the door to the kitchen, just to make sure that no prying ears are around. "Those two have been spending an awful lot of time together, haven't they?"
"...Who?"
I narrow my eyes slightly at my boyfriend's lost expression, silently asking him if he's freaking serious. Thankfully for my current good mood, Shinji actually catches the message quickly enough.
"Oh! You mean Kensuke and Makinami-san?" he asks, as if it needed any clarification. "...Have they? I don't really know."
I feel myself deflate slightly at his hesitant words; then again, I really don't know what I was expecting. Shinji isn't really observant for this kind of stuff.
I mean, it took him a month to figure out Hikari and Suzuhara. That takes effort.
...Although I'll admit that I was distracting him quite a bit those days. I guess I should feel honoured that he only had eyes for me?
Sure. Let's roll with that.
"Of course you don't. Baka," I throw him a look that informs him of his deficiencies. "You could use some more situational awareness, you know?"
He returns my deadpan stare with an annoyed look, before realizing that there's no way he's winning a battle of wills against me and giving up with a quiet sigh.
He's a smart guy.
"Now that you mention it, though," Shinji continues with a thoughtful look. "Kensuke's been really busy since the summer. And he never went into any details about what he's been doing, either. Just called it 'work'," he turns his attention back to me. "...Do you think that something's going on, Asuka?"
...
And I think so. I really, really, think so. I've been holding this hunch of mine for a while now, actually, and Mari's out-of-place comment from before does nothing if not reinforce it.
Not that her flirting with guys is weird. That's pretty much an inoffensive everyday occurrence for her, and I've seen her do it plenty of times before. But there was something that felt... off about the way Glasses spoke earlier, something that I can't quite put my finger on.
In any case, I don't really have any proof on me, so I'll have to settle for a...
"...Maybe."
For some reason, Shinji really perks up at that. I guess that makes sense, since he's been more than worried about Geek-Stooge feeling left out after we hooked up. The Hikari-Suzuhara fiasco didn't help matters, either.
...What the hell does Hikari see in that meathead, anyway? Like, seriously?
"Why don't you ask Makinami-san? You're her best friend, aren't you?"
"She insists on saying that, I suppose." I focus back on the topic and steer away from avenues better left unexplored. "And I already did. Dropped some double-meaning questions on her a few times."
"And?"
"Glasses didn't say anything to that effect." Shinji's hopeful tone deflates nigh instantly, which has me amending my statements with some half-truths almost instinctively; I hate seeing him look despondent. "Then again, she didn't say anything sensible, either. It's not like I can tell what's going on in that head of hers most of the time, anyway."
That (and a quick peck on the lips for good measure) brings a bit of a smile back to my Shinji's face, which is a far better state of affairs as far as I'm concerned. He then goes back to thinking, no doubt rummaging through his memories in search of evidence that might bring more credibility to my suspicions.
I don't think he'll be successful in that, but at least he's motivated. And I sure won't keep him from thinking so long as his hands keep on massaging my head as they are.
But anyway, Aida?
It's not that there's anything inherently wrong with the guy per se (even if we don't see eye to eye most of the time), but the plain truth is that he really doesn't compete with a lot of the guys I've seen Mari act close-ish with.
I mean, that Nagase guy, for example? The one that was with her last week? Man, talk about a looker...
And I got the odd feeling that I've seen him somewhere before, too. But that's neither here nor now.
Although, at the end of the day, I guess I'm not one to talk, huh? What with Baka here not exactly competing with said guy, either. Not that the idea of switching him for an 'improved' model even crossed my imagination, mind you.
...
...I love my dearest Shin-chan way too much to do that.
...
And besides, where else am I going to get my hands on such a housebroken male that can cook, after all? And considerate, to boot!
Those are on short supply, I tell you!
Oh, well. At the end of the day, I suppose that Glasses has her reasons for having her sights on Aida if that's how it ends up panning out. I'm just surprised, is all.
And it's not like I have much more time to ponder those thoughts, anyway. I can hear some light steps coming our way, and judging from the way they sound I'd say that it's little Rei coming to pay us a bit of a visit.
And sure enough, it takes only a few moments for the little runt to make it all the way to the front of the couch, clad in her indoor clothes and beaming a big smile at me.
"This is for you, Asuka-nee," Rei says as she dutifully hands me a mug of hot chocolate. Her mug, I notice with some surprise. "Mari-chan said that you should drink it as soon as possible, or you'll get really, really sick."
...I very much doubt that a little snow could make me really, really, sick, but I appreciate Glasses' sentiment, nonetheless; I decide that I should take heed of her advice too, just in case, and therefore make to bring the kitty-decorated mug to my lips.
And then I notice Rei just standing there, balancing on the balls of her feet and visibly worried about something.
I immediately stop the hot chocolate delivery mid-flight.
"Something wrong, Rei?"
My question snaps Rei out of whatever thoughts she was having, causing her to join her hands behind her and turn to look towards the floor in an uncharacteristic display of shyness. Feeling as shocked by this development as Shinji must be behind me, I'm about to leave the chocolate on the table and crouch next to her when Rei suddenly looks up once more and briskly walks over to me.
She then leans over and wraps her little arms around my body in a tender hug.
"...Don't get sick, Asuka-nee. Okay?"
...
...D'aww... She really is the sweetest thing. Whenever she's not tunnel-visioning on stuff, anyway.
And a master of emotional blackmail, too. But that's a topic for another time.
Her piece said, and apparently feeling really embarrassed, Rei quickly scampers off back to the kitchen. I guess that Mari and Aida must still be preparing some more hot chocolate?
Because I gotta say, if little Rei-chan is going to be hugging me every time she makes a chocolate delivery, those two can keep'em coming!
In stark contrast to the wide smile that now adorns my face, however, Shinji sighs in annoyance.
"...Should I remind Rei that she has a big brother she can hug, too?"
The Baka's grumpy comment only serves to widen the smile on my face even more.
"Is that some jealousy I hear in your voice, mister?"
"Yeah, it is," he confirms in mock anger. "I'm seriously telling her to go bother you the next time she has a nightmare, just so you know."
As if you could blame your little sister. I mean, having to choose between Shinji Ikari and the Great Asuka Langley-Sohryu?
Sorry to say, Shinji. But there's just no contest!
With that thought in mind, I leave Shinji to his half-serious whining and decide to finally take a sip of the brew Rei has brought for her favourite big sister.
...And damn, it's good. Mari continues to improve on her recipe, it looks like.
Kinda funny that she's this good at making hot chocolate when she's completely hopeless at trying to make anything else, though. Hell, I heard a rumour from a fairly reputable source that our Home Ec. teacher was seriously considering putting a safety glass around the cooking table Glasses uses.
And with damn good reason. Anyone that manages to mess up some fried eggs bad enough for them to turn purple just doesn't belong in a kitchen.
But I'll give credit where credit's due. Mari's chocolate is truly top notch.
It is then that I notice Shinji eyeing my mug with a bit of an envious look, and a good idea pops into mind.
One that might just improve his mood quite a bit.
"...Want a taste?" I ask innocently, holding the mug in front of him and twirling it around a bit for good measure.
Shinji, for his part, hesitantly raises an eyebrow at that, because he knows. He knows I've got something up my sleeve.
But he also knows from previous experience just how good Mari's chocolate is. Therefore, it doesn't take him long at all to give in to his sweet tooth.
"Sure."
Shinji reaches out his hand towards my mug, but I quickly put it on top of the table and out of his reach. He looks at me quizzically, and his confusion visibly grows more severe by the time I'm grabbing hold of his right sleeve.
The way I'm smirking probably doesn't help matters, either.
The Baka, still completely lost on what I intend to do, opens his mouth to voice his thoughts...
...And that's the moment in which I pull him into a deep kiss.
Shinji struggles for a bit, more out of surprise than anything else, but quickly starts to eagerly return the gesture.
I redouble my efforts. I'm not one that kindly takes to defeat at anything, after all, and that includes making out.
...Especially making out.
We keep at it for some time, until our bodies' damnable need for oxygen forces us to break things up.
Stupid biology.
"...So?" I quietly ask, both so that we're not overhead from the kitchen and because I need to catch my breath. "How was it?"
"...Good."
The poor Baka barely manages to mouth that one out. Regardless of my underhanded tactics, it looks like I managed to fry most of his brain, so I'll go ahead and chalk this one up as a win for me.
...But there's nothing stopping us from going for round two now, is there?
"PRINCESS, PUPPY-KUN!" a damnable voice calls from the kitchen. "THE TABLE IS SET, COME JOIN US!"
...
...Except an annoying Glasses, that is. She's truly got the gift of timeliness, that one.
"Duty calls, Shin-chan," I whisper, more than a bit miffed. "...But we'll continue later, okay?"
Shinji breathes out something that approaches an affirmative sound and I give him one last, short kiss, before getting off the couch. I then start making my way over to the kitchen area, before I notice that Shinji's not following, his brain connections still in the process of joining back together once more.
I decide to go ahead without him, or Glasses will end up taking it upon herself to come snooping. I'm sure Shinji will put two and two together when he's capable of rational thought once more.
-O-O-O-O-O-
"HELL NO!" I stand up so fast that the back of my chair ends up loudly crashing against the floor. "Didn't you say that me getting covered in snow was already retribution enough?!"
Rei jumps a little at my sudden scream, and quickly turns her attention from her birthday picture over to me, her eyes caught between afraid and worried. I can't really afford to pay her much heed at this time, though.
Sorry, Rei.
"Well, yeah. But this isn't about anything as unimportant as that, Princess," Glasses shrugs casually, as if what she's just said wasn't incredibly stupid. She then grins widely at me. "This is something completely different, something that I've been meaning to do for the longest time! Think of it as a way to immortalize your very first anniversary!"
For anyone wondering just what the heck is going on, by the way, Makinami apparently decided that having a nice chat around the table while chuckling at Rei's antics wasn't fun enough for her.
Nothing incredibly surprising up to that point, since that girl has the attention span of a three year old. It's not unusual for her to try and continuously find weird and exciting new ways to amuse herself; I could hear alarm claxons going off in my head when she asked Aida to take out his camera from that black coffer they were lugging around, though.
And with good reason, too, because the next thing out of that crazy woman's mouth was nothing short of utterly ridiculous:
"I don't care about your reasons! You're not dressing me up in stupid cosplay and that's that! Keep your silly hobbies to yourself, Glasses!" I turn my eyes to my dearest Baka. "Back me up here, Shinji!"
And he doesn't disappoint, letting out that no-nonsense side of him that I sorta wish he would show more often.
"I agree with Asuka, Makinami-san. I know that you don't intend for her to have a bad time, but she's been very clear in her opinion. Please drop the subject."
Satisfied with Shinji's support, I shift my attention to Aida. It's clear as day that he isn't completely on board with the idea, either, in spite of his obvious previous knowledge of it. Both because he knew enough about the contents of the box to tell us we wouldn't like them (damn right I don't!) and because his camera was in there in the first place.
...Which makes me wonder just what the deal with that is, too? Glasses isn't particularly secretive about her love of cosplay, sure, but she doesn't exactly allow just about anyone to handle her stuff.
...Wait. The camera was kept with Mari's costumes as if it was completely normal?
...
...Don't tell me that's what he's been doing all this time?!
"Even Puppy-kun is getting serious with me?" the crazy girl's nonchalant tone cuts through my thoughts like a hot knife through butter. "Such a shame, such a shame... But I wonder..."
Mari smirks knowingly at me and makes a hand signal to Aida (who I'm seriously starting to consider is her cameraman). The sandy-haired boy, for his part, sends me a look that spells 'I'm sorry', before crouching down and taking out something else from the coffer.
...
...The part of my instincts that have honed themselves into bullshit detectors after years spent in Glasses' company roar into a frenzy, warning me that I'm not going to like what comes next.
"Is there really no way to convince you, Princess?" Mari continues in her best sales-pitch voice, after taking hold of the offered item. "Not even for a bona fide Mk.02 Plugsuit?"
And, just like that, I feel all of my thought processes grind to a halt, and my body grow cold at the question. Far colder than it had been after being covered in snow.
I look at the item that Glasses is casually putting on display, the deep red tone and green lines of the upper part of the suit clearly visible and recognizable.
This is no joke. There's no mistaking the truthfulness of her words.
"...You're kidding me," I can't keep myself from audibly swallowing. "Pr-Pre-timeskip?"
"Of course! The legitimate product, never even taken out of its wrapping. Took quite a while to find, mind you, what with the new version being all over the place," Mari starts to walk away from her seat, slowly and theatrically moving around the side of the table until she's standing right in my face. "And this extra to your birthday present can be all yours for the reasonable price of a joint photo-shoot with yours truly. It's a bargain, I tell you!"
I actually have to stop myself from just agreeing on the spot.
...But I can't deny that I want it. I really, really want it. Gathering enough money to buy that suit has secretly been on my mind ever since Shinji gifted me my hairclips, after all.
And now Glasses is dangling it in front of me like some kind of twisted lure. It's taking all of my self-control to not just pounce on Mari and take it by force, for all the good that it would do me.
"Come on Princess, join the dark side. You know you want to..." Mari charmingly and confidently whispers close to my ear. "We have chocolate!"
And I can feel what little remains of my resistance quickly erode under Glasses' relentless assault.
This little... She had me from the very moment she pulled out the suit, and she freaking knows it!
"F-Fine! Fine! You win, stupid Glasses! B-But on one condition!" my eyes fall upon Shinji, who's looking at me with concern in his eyes. I feel the sudden urge to amend my last statement. "A-Actually, two!"
Mari grins widely, basking in her victory.
I feel the sudden and almost uncontrollable urge to punch her in the face.
"Which are~?"
"Those photos don't ever make it out of here!" I demand. "Under penalty of death!"
"Not acceptable, I'm afraid," Makinami quickly objects. "I want to show them to Piggy-chan and Ball-kun too, after all."
Gah! I expected as much, but I was hoping that she would prove to be merciful.
That was clearly wishful thinking on my part, but I guess even that's better than the alternative.
"...Okay," I finally consent, hands clasped into tight fists at my sides. "But no further than those two, you hear? Or I swear, I'll make you eat all of your costumes!"
"Very well," Mari's offhanded agreement comes hand in hand with that annoying look that she gives me sometimes. The one that she uses when she can tell exactly what it is that I'm thinking. "And the second condition~?"
I swallow audibly once more, idly wondering for a few moments whether my second condition is actually necessary at all. I would love nothing but to say that I'm able to bear the weight of this entire situation on my own, but...
...But, much as I hate to admit it, I can't possibly do that.
"Sh-Shinji has to do it too!"
"Wait, what?!"
Said Baka's response is as quick and bewildered as I had expected, not that I blame him; but I can't let myself be moved by his scared (and somewhat betrayed) expression.
I still feel the need to justify myself, though.
"D-Don't look at me like that, Baka! This is part of your responsibilities as my boyfriend! Think of it as an extra to your birthday present!"
That's a load of bull, mind you, and Shinji needs no time at all to start formulating a protest, but his efforts are quickly cut off by Mari's (annoyingly) gleeful squeal of delight.
"Oh yeah! Double strike! You're so predictable, Princess!" she exclaims while doing a little dance. "I foresaw your request, and came more than prepared!" Mari's loud exclamation is followed by her turning around to look at Shinji, with a wide grin that I bet sends chills down his back; I know it does for me, at least. "Say, Puppy-kun. Have I ever told you that you'd make a great girl?"
The crazy girl's question makes Shinji's anxious expression turn into abject terror.
"D-Don't I get a say in this?"
And Mari's response is as definite as it is merciless.
"Oh no, you don't."
...
...I'm sorry, Shinji.
-O-O-O-O-O-
...What a day. I sure didn't expect for it to end like this when Rei asked us to go make a snowman, I tell you. And it sure didn't help matters that it took Asuka and me over half an hour to calm the excited little tyrant enough for her to go to sleep, either.
And that was after spending dinner and another twenty minutes after that just talking Rei out of sleeping with the kitty costume, mind you. I don't know what Makinami was thinking when she gifted the costume to Rei, but it's clear that my little sister has had the time of her life, today.
...
...Good to see that at least someone other than said nut-case had fun.
In any case, Rei's in bed by now and we've just finished watching this week's episode of Asuka's favourite show, on grounds of Asuka needing to bleach her brain of the memories of the afternoon. A sentiment that I more than share.
She's been gushing about this and that as the episode went on, talking extensively about foreshadowing, themes, and how everything ties up to stuff that happened before.
...And just how cool her favourite character is, of course.
Myself, I wish I could share in her enthusiasm, but the show sadly lost me after the fourteen year timeskip at the end of last season. I don't really understand what the point of it was no matter how hard Asuka tries to whitewash that state of affairs and, besides, the show has gone places in this season.
Weird and very hard to understand places.
Asuka claims that I don't get it because it's 'Too deep for me', but I just blame it on bad writing and the series having lived on for much longer than it had any right to. I bet that even Asuka doesn't fully get half the stuff she talks about, either.
I'm not going to be the one to call her out on that, though. Infamous temper and all that.
But honestly, I don't really care about the nonsensical plot of Asuka's favourite series. It's not like I'm paying it a lot of attention these nights, after all.
I've got far better things to look at. Which is exactly what I do until the end credits start rolling, to the tune of a re-imagined version of an old Sinatra song.
Asuka hums along with the song until the last notes fade into silence. She then mutes the TV and hugs my midsection from the left side, resting her head on my shoulder.
I would normally feel ecstatic at this (and I still do, to some degree), but I can tell from the lack of her usual energy that Asuka is both tired and not really in the mood for our customary night-time activities.
I'm a bit saddened by this turn of events, but there are more important problems to tackle. We can pick up on our chocolate-sharing again at some other time.
"...I wonder how long it will be until the stupid photos leak out."
The source of her worries seems to be exactly what I was expecting. I raise my left arm so that I can move it around the back of her neck and allow Asuka to get comfortable, before kissing the top of her head.
She lets out a small moan of agreement.
"Why do you say that?"
"Because it would be just my luck for exactly that to happen," Asuka groans in dismay. "I can so kiss my social standing goodbye."
That's a bit of an over-exaggeration if I ever heard one, even for Asuka. I guess Makinami-san's session really took more of a toll on her than it did on me.
"I don't know, I really don't think you have anything to worry about," I massage the left side of her head with my fingers, just to try and calm her down that little bit more. "If Ken says that the pictures won't ever make it out of our group, then I trust him to uphold his word."
"As if letting Suzuhara see me like that wasn't bad enough. I hope you're right, anyway," Asuka groans once more, this time more forcefully. "And I still have to do another session. Damn that stupid Glasses!"
"Another one? Why?"
"I owed her a favour," Asuka explains dismally. "Glasses sort of helped me decide on your birthday present last June, you see. She said that I would owe her one, but I thought she had forgotten considering how much time it's been, already. Looks like she was biding her time, instead."
"I... I see."
I wish I could say something a little bit more comforting, but I'm still improving on that front even after a full year with Asuka.
Still, even if words don't really come out all that amazingly well, I make sure to hug her just a little bit tighter. That I have learned quite well, and my efforts are rewarded by Asuka nuzzling her head further next to mine.
"I'm so looking forward to more stupid cosplay."
"W-Well...," I start, trying to think of a good line to say at this juncture. Suddenly, and much to my surprise, a good way of cheering her up comes to mind. "I think that you looked really cute today, Asuka."
And it's true. I don't know if it's because Makinami-san was feeling magnanimous after getting her way or what, but Asuka's outfit for the photo-shoot wasn't outlandish at all. Just a red turtleneck with a white cross on the chest area, a black mini-skirt and some long stockings; Makinami also insisted that Asuka change her hairclips for a pair of black ribbons, which actually took her some convincing to accomplish.
The mini-skirt was on the short side of things, sure, but I honestly can't say I minded all that much. It was about the same length as some other skirts Asuka has and regularly wears, anyway.
Makinami kept talking about a 'Grade-S Absolute Territory' too, for some reason. But that was by the point both Asuka and me had given up on trying to make sense of both the situation and her words.
"…Cute, huh?" Asuka asks me, looking at me with curiosity. "Really? You're not saying that just to be nice?"
"No! I seriously couldn't take my eyes off of you, Asuka!"
And that's not an exaggeration, mind you. Asuka looked really good in her outfit, to the point that it wouldn't really surprise me if Makinami-san had spent a considerable amount of time deciding on it.
"Huh. Well, I guess it wasn't so bad, then." Asuka actually smiles a bit, as if a load had been taken off her shoulders. Her smile takes on a dangerous glint before long, though. "Although I'm pretty sure I caught you looking at Mari's boobs quite a few times, you know?"
...
...Okay, maybe it was a bit of an exaggeration to say that I didn't take my eyes off of Asuka. But, in my defence, Makinami's costume did show quite a bit of skin (whatever the hell it was supposed to be), and I'm still a guy.
I don't think that excuse is going to fly with Asuka, though.
"…I, uhh…" I try, in a painfully horrible fashion. "…I'm sorry?"
Asuka just flicks my nose in mock anger.
Thankfully.
"It's fine, you pervert, so long as you remember where your priorities are meant to be. You weren't gawking as much as Aida was, anyway," Asuka's annoyed tone suddenly changes to a teasing one, much to my chagrin. "But I'd say that was quite a bit out of character for Nadia-chan, don't you think~?"
And a deep sigh instantly escapes me, as the memory that I was trying to bury under tons of mental concrete rises to the front of my mind unopposed.
"…I was bleaching that part myself, you know?"
"I don't know why. I'd say you looked even cuter than I did!"
"That's not a compliment I want," I protest, for all the good it will do me. "...I'm not going to be hearing the end of it, am I?"
"Nope! Not until I'm done with the forced cosplay, at least! A girl's gotta cope, somehow," Asuka shamelessly admits, blissfully closing her eyes as she uses my shoulder as a pillow. She eventually continues, having just remembered something: "Speaking of, Glasses said she wants to talk to you about your opinion on outfits."
...What? That came out of nowhere.
"My opinion? Why?"
"Beats me," Asuka responds, sounding more and more like she's just about to conk out. "She said it's 'more fun that way', whatever that means."
I rest my head on top of Asuka's as I ponder her words. Just what could Makinami-san possibly want my input for? It's not like I know anything much about cosplay, just the bits and pieces that she herself has told me about on a few occasions, like that time last year.
...
...Wait. That time last year?
A memory suddenly comes to my mind's eye, of speaking to Mari Makinami in a snowy field about a topic that I thought utterly ridiculous at the time. An idea comes right after, one that many people would consider me crazy for even entertaining, but that a small part of me is very eager to push forward, regardless of the consequences.
Now, let it be said that I'm normally not one to be actively malicious (not without prior provocation, at least), but not even I can say no to a golden opportunity for some harmless payback when it's staring right at me. Besides, I'm more than halfway sure that the idea that's forming in my head is exactly what Makinami-san wants me to do.
Call it a hunch. And who am I to deny her, really?
Oh, yes. You want to remind me about my costume until Makinami-san is done with you, Asuka?
Well, two can play that game.
...
As the long-ago thought up picture of a certain redhead in a maid outfit is summoned from the deepest recesses of my mind, I can only be thankful that Asuka cannot see the wide grin that's spreading accross my face right now.
There will be hell to pay at some point, sure, but it will be so worth it.