Last time Will and the others finally made it to their destination, only to find The Dadga Khan waiting for them. As it turns out, The Dadga Khan wants Cornelia in order to mate with her, disgusting, isn't it? Our heroes then found themselves surrounded by demons, but before they could attack, Jill and her team arrived. On with the show!
Chapter 17: Rambler Reunion
Before any of the demons could move, the sky, in a sense, opened up about ten feet from the ground in a field of bluish-white energy. Will saw eight figures fall from the opening in space and time. When the light form the opening faded, she saw four men and four women, one with long black hair and really thick eyelashes that she recognized almost instantly.
"Well that was an experience," said Jill as she stood up and brushed the dust off her jacket, "I wasn't expecting to land on our faces." "Yeah," said D.P., "what happened, Violet? I thought we would just walk onto the other side." "Your guess is as good as mine," said Violet, "I'll have to check the data on my computer."
"I'm sot sure we're where we're supposed to be," said Michael, "This isn't what I thought the source of the time/space distortions would look like." "We may not be at the source of the displacements," said Laura, "But I feel that this is exactly where we're supposed to be." "And there's your proof," said Fay as she pointed at Will, the others and the demons surrounding them."
"Jill!" shouted Will, "Jill Sparrow! Is that you?" "No, Wilma Vandom," said Jill, "It's Kathryn Hepburn, who do you think it is?" "I always thought you looked like Audrey Hepburn," said Fay, "But that's just my opinion." "I'd say she looks more like Joan Crawford," said Leon. "You're all wrong," said Michael, "Jill is the exact image of Elizabeth Taylor."
"Um," said Violet, "I may be new at this, but I believe we're supposed to kill all those demons over there." "Indeed we do," said Jill, "Look alive, Ramblers, "There's bloody work to do."
"Allow me to start," said Shawn. With one wave of his hand, the heads of at least thirty demons exploded. "That's nothing!" said Laura. With just one snap of her fingers, (insert finger-snapping sound) nearly fifty demon heads exploded. "Now that you've had your fun," said Michael, "It's my turn now." He then activated his energy swords, one green and the other blue. Yelling at the top of his lungs he charged into the hoard of demons.
"Violet," said Jill as she unsheathed her cutlass, "Stay with Shawn. Shawn, keep Violet safe or I'll skin you alive." Jill readied her cutlass and ran into the demon masses, followed by D.P. with a shotgun, Leon with an Uzi, Fay with her knives and Laura blasting away with her mind.
"Why are they having all the fun?" asked Will, "Everyone attack! Kill them all!" With that the Guardians, they boys, Ed and Al, and Guts joined the fray. It was a massacre; the demons had no chance being attacked from two sides. It was over within ten minutes, ten minutes that seemed to last forever to Violet. She was doing her share of the slaughter with her new pistol, making sure not to stray more then ten feet from Shawn.
Everyone did their part in the destruction of the demons, even Martin with one of his inventions, a laser pistol. The only exception was Guts; he did more than anyone else with that huge sword of his. Despite having been wounded on his arms and legs Guts kept swinging that sword, destroying every demon he saw with his one eye.
When it was over the ground had been permanently stained black from all the demon blood and demon goop from all the dissolving bodies. Only The Dadga Khan remained. "This is an unforeseen event I'm sure," he said, "No matter, victory shall be mine eventually."
"You're deluding yourself," said Will, "Look around, every demon you brought with you is dead." "Face it," said Taranee, "You've lost." "Looks like you're going to have to find someone else for you to screw tonight!" laughed Cornelia.
"This is only a temporally setback," said The Dadga Khan, "You Guardians are doomed; you Alchemists shall die; you freaks from another world shall be sacrificed and you, Black Swordsman, you won't be able to outrun destiny for much longer. As for you Earth Guardian, you shall be mine. One way or another I shall mate with you and you shall give birth to my successor, whether you like it or not!" With a bright red flash, The Dadga Khan vanished.
"He'll be back," said Jill, "Bastards like that can't stop what they do." "Glad to see your back is working again," said Irma, "The last time we saw you that creep Voldemort had thrown D.P.'s arm at you." "That bastard Voldemort did rip my arm off," said D.P., "But I've got a new one." He then showed his metal arm. "Nice," said Ed as he compared his Auto-Mail arm to D.P.'s.
"You've picked up some new blood I see," said Caleb. "Indeed we have," said Jill, "This is Michael Long, a former bounty hunter." "Pleased to meet you," said Michael. "The one throwing up," said Jill, "Is my adopted daughter, Violet Baudelaire." Indeed Violet had bent over to vomit, while Shawn was rubbing her back to ease her discomfort. "The one with Violet is her boyfriend," said Jill, " is Shawn Ohmsford."
"I assume that's the first time you ever killed anything," said Shawn as Violet finished throwing up. "You're right," said Violet, "I feel much better." "Don't feel bad about it," said Fay, "Everyone throws up after the first time they kill a demon. I remember hearing about Jill's first mission; she couldn't eat for three days after that experience."
"We never meet," said Leon as she shook Will's hand. "You're right," said Will, "During that whole ting with Voldemort and Harry Potter you were frozen."
"I think I must have been hit on the head during the fight," said Taranee as she and the other Guardians powered down, "Because that look like Fay Valentine over there." "Oh I'm here alright," said Fay, "Alive and stabbing." "But you got hit with the Killing Curse," said a shocked Irma, "I was there, you had no pulse."
"Come to think of it," said Fay, "My ticker still isn't ticking. I guess I should be worried about it." There was a moment of silence before Fay started laughing. "I'm just kidding, I'm not a zombie." "But she was dead," said Violet, "I should know, I carried her soul in my head for several days."
"Where's Max?" asked Will, "I thought he'd be with you." "Oh he and Steve are checking out the grave of Dracula," said Leon, "They should be along soon." "They went all the way to Romania to see a vampire grave?" asked Nigel. "No," said Jill, "Memphis." "Why would Dracula be buried in Tennessee?" asked Taranee. "Because that's where Max buried him," said Fay.
"Putting vampire graves aside," said Violet, "We've got a situation." Violet and Jill then spent the next fifteen minutes telling Will and the others about the time/space distortions that were affecting their world. Will then summarized to Jill and her team the whole thing with Pai-Mey and the demons.
"This isn't a coincidence," said Martin, "I'm convinced that the distortions on your worn, the earthquakes on this world and on Metamore, along with the freak electrical storm are all the result of Pai-Mey and The Dadga Khan trying to destroy the fabric of reality. I don't know how they're doing it, but it's bad I'm sure."
"Then it's a good thing that we have a way with communicating back with Bureau H.Q.," said Violet, "We can combine the data we've all collected and figure out where the distortions are really coming from. Plus, my brother might be able to figure out why that cat demon chose Cornelia to mate with." "Well your brother better figure it out soon," said Cornelia, "'Cause there's no way I'm screwing any demons, not today, not tomorrow, not ever."
The end of chapter 17. Next time, our heroes figure out where the demons are coming from, along with how to save Cornelia. Please review and I'll see you next time!