If you expect me to have a disclaimer detailing how I don't own the series/franchise at the beginning of every chapter, you'll be sorely disappointed. It's on the first chapter. Not to mention, if I did own Dragon Age, I doubt I'd be writing Dragon Age fanfiction... and I just realized that this is kinda like a disclaimer... And it's longer than the one last chapter... Nuts.

I'll be the first to admit that my method of gaining some form of catharsis is neither subtle nor dignified. But considering the sheer absurdity of my situation, I'm willing to cut myself some slack.

My new companions are not so accommodating.

"Maker's breath! What is wrong with you?"

By this point, my scream has died down enough for me to recognize the speaker as Voice #3. I really need to learn their names.

I wait to answer him until I've taken a few deep breaths to settle myself down.

"Honestly, I think it's less a question of what's wrong with me, as it is what's wrong with the fucking universe."

And again with the weird looks. Don't ask me how I can tell under those helmets, I just know.

And now I'm talking to myself in my own head again. Wunderbar.

"야, 이것은 더 미치게 될 수 있는 거냐? 무슨말이야? 당영하개 더미치겟지!"*

"I'm sorry?" That was Voice #2. I think I like him best. Seems to be nice fellow. As opposed to sword-happy Bernhardt and grumpy #3. Ok, getting off track.

I sigh. "Nothing. Just... Hey, is my stuff still back there?"

I think he turned around. Ok, I know he turned around. That armor clanks like no tomorrow. Wonder how it doesn't drive him nuts.

"Yes, it's all there. Except your knapsack. That's still on your back."

"My what?" I feel over my shoulder and, sure enough, my backpack is still there. Ordinarily, that would be hard to miss, but, then again, these aren't ordinary circumstances.

I finally turn around to face the three Templars. And now I don't know which one is which. They need to figure out a way for me to tell them apart. And I need to get back on track.

"Great. You guys mind if I take inventory? See what I have, what I may need to replace?"

They look at each other. "I don't see why not..." Alright, so Voice #2 is the guy in the center. Good to know.

"Just don't try anything funny." And Bernhardt is on my right. Which means Voice #3 is on my left. Which reminds me.

"By the way, can I get your names? I've basically been identifying you by your voices in my head, and thinking of you as Voice #2 and so on... Well, you know."

I have got to do something about how I ramble on.

"Oh, of course. I am Ser Bryant. Knight-Lieutenant of the Templar Order." The Templar in the middle took off his helmet. "To my right is Ser Levan and to my left is Ser Bernhardt."

The first thought in my head was that Ser Bryant was a lot darker than I recalled. My next thought was to debate whether or not that could be considered racist before giving up as going down that road would lead to a few hours of mental gymnastics.

My third thought was a reminder that it was only polite to introduce myself in return.

"My name is Brian ***. I'm a second-year college student... Or would that be third-year? No, I just finished... I'm a student. Let's just roll with that. Nice to meet you."

I hold out my hand automatically, expecting a handshake. Before I realize that Ferelden society might not use the handshake as a form of greeting, Ser Bryant grips my forearm and-

Ow, that's one hell of a grip.

I keep any sign of discomfort off my face until we let go.

What the hell do they feed you people?

"So," I begin. "Knight-Lieutenant? I assume that means you're the ranking officer here?"

He nods. "Indeed. I command the Templar unit stationed in Lothering."

I nod in return walking over to my bag and opening it up. It's only after I shuffle through my clothes that something comes to mind.

"Wait, if you're in charge of the Templars in your town, why are you out here?"

"We were chasing an apostate, a mage who is not under the Chantry's guidance."

I take the time to pull out the plastic bag holding my toiletries to respond. "Ok, that answers a question, but not the one I meant to ask. Why are you, the head of Lothering's Templars, here? Seems like the sort of thing to send your subordinates to do."

I untie the bag and do a cursory check over everything to confirm that they were intact before rifling through the rest of my duffel bag.

"How much do you know about apostate mages and the Templar Order?" That question made me pause. I knew quite a bit from the 200+ hours I spent playing Dragon Age: Origins, and the hours after that perusing through the Dragon Age Wiki. But they don't know that I know, and I'm very obviously a foreigner so I can't pass myself off as a local. And I've already let slip that I knew about Ferelden and where Lothering was, so I can't exactly feign ignorance.

Scheiße.

Well, the best cover stories are rooted in truth. Time to pull off an Obi-Wan.

"I've read some lore." I set aside the duffel bag and look around for my sleeping bag which is... right next to me. I really need to be more observant.

"And what does that lore say?"

"Basics. Military arm of Chantry, mage hunters, basic hierarchy, etc." I feel like I'm forgetting something. Pocket? I feel the tissues, keys, and cell phone I keep in my right pocket. Glasses? I quickly take them off and check them for damage and, miraculously, find none. With a little sigh of relief, I wipe them off on my shirt and put them back on as Bryant - Is that his first name or his last? - explains his presence.

"Apostates are always considered dangerous, but it's a matter of degree. We always assume the worst, that the apostate is a maleficar, and more experienced Templars are required to subdue them."

"And you're the most experienced of the bunch." Makes sense. But the fact that he seemed to whitewash what they do did not escape me. Nor did the feeling that I was overlooking something. What was it?

"Indeed. And..." He pauses. "Are you alright?" I look up to realize that the Templars have arranged themselves in front of me without my noticing, Bryant looking at me with mild concern while the other two are entertaining themselves by wondering at the crap I've pulled out.

"It's nothing. I have this feeling that I'm forgetting to check on something important, but I don't know what I've missed. I've checked everything in my bag; the sleeping bag is over there; I've got everything in my pocket; my glasses are fine; and my laptop-"

Oh. That's what I forgot to check on.

"Shit."

That got their attention. "What's wrong?" Bryant is on alert, ready to draw his sword, while Levan and Bernhardt straighten up and begin looking around for threats.

"Shitshitshitshitshitshitshit..." Meanwhile, I ignore them while chanting my little mantra, opening up my backpack and pulling out my laptop before opening it and...

Whew. It works.

I sigh in relief as the YouTube video I had paused displays on my screen while the Templars relax.

"That's it? That is what you were so concerned about?"

I glare at Levan over the top of my glasses. "This is worth about $1,000. To put that into perspective, that's enough to buy food for 10-20 weeks."

That certainly gave them pause. I huff before considering the laptop. I can't keep it on, that'll drain the battery. But I don't want to lose this. A quick glance down at the connection status tells me what I already know: there's no internet. No way for me to contact anyone back home. No way to tell anyone where I am or that I'm even alive.

-That's fucking depressing. Time to switch gears before I break down crying. That would be bad.

*Ah, can things get any crazier? What am I saying? Of course it'll get crazier! - No, my Korean isn't perfect, but it's enough to get by.

So, first update of the New Year. I was planning on uploading this on midnight, but it wasn't finished by then so... yeah. Which segways nicely to my next point. This is the end of winter break for me, and I'm going to be a lot busier next quarter since I just changed majors. So updates will be sporadic at best.

Also, I've made some minor changes to the previous chapter. Nothing major, just little things like typos and such. If you find any, let me know and I'll fix 'em with the next update.

As for the chapter itself, I'm not all that happy with it, but does capture my thought process quite nicely. Not everything, of course, but we have the rest of the fic for y'all to see that. So... yeah.

As for the Korean and the German, well I am a Korean-American and I speak the language at home. As for the German, I tried to teach myself some German in an effort to impress women. Ok, one girl in particular. Haven't made much progress, but a few phrases have stuck with me which I use semi-regularly. Don't judge.

Please review. It helps my ego and helps me improve. My writing, of course, not my ego. That doesn't need improvement.