Hello, dudes and duddets! This is yours truly, Doctor Bessy writing another chappy for you guys! And you know why? Cuz I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! All of you are beautiful people and don't you ever forget that. Even if the world calls you dickheads and shit ugly midgets, you are MY dickheads and shit ugly midgets, and I will personally kick any dude in the balls who says otherwise. And if it's a girl, well, I'll just punch her in the boobs or something. I DON'T KNOW! Anyway here's the next chapter! ENJOY!
Disclaimer:
I'll keep this nice and easy. I don't own shit. I don't own the characters, I don't own MR, all that shit goes to James Patterson. What I DO own is this plot, and that's good enough for me.
10 MONTHS 25 DAYS UNTIL DEATH
"Alright guys, you all know the plan?" Dylan asked as we finished discussing what our move was for that evening. We had all met up at Iggy's house to discuss the plan. The plan was simple and easy, not too elaborate, but not too simple, either. The perfect plan, it was fool proof. At least, that's what we thought, anyway. "Any questions?" When nobody said anything Dylan nodded and said, "Then that settles it. See you guys tonight." In a group we all walked out the door, down the driveway, and went our separate ways. Dylan headed back to his mansion to get prepped up for tonight, Iggy and Gazzy headed back inside to also get ready. And I, regrettably, started walking towards Fang's house.
Ten minutes later, I was standing at his front door regretting everything and making a mental will. I know what you're thinking. What's so bad about Fang's place? Why are you making a will? Are you (the audience) a part of that will? Well, to answer the first question, Nudge is what's so bad about Fang's place. And the plan was for me to get Nudge to girly me up for me and Dylan's "date". To answer the second question, I am allergic to all things girly. And I already know that what Nudge is about to do will give me a severe allergic reaction and I will most likely die from it. As for the last question, yes you readers actually are a part of this will. When I die, I give you this story to keep and cherish. And now, let's get back to my moment of dread.
I rang the doorbell, and after three seconds of silence from the other end of the door, I spun around and was about to step down from the doorway when I heard the door open.
"Max?" It was Fang's voice. "What are you doing here? I didn't know we were hanging out today."
I spun back around to look at him. Fang had very black hair, dark brown eyes, and although his facial features seemed cold they weren't entirely. The thing about Fang is that his eyes melt in a way that burns all the cold from his face and replaces it with a buzzing warmth. I'm still not sure if I'm the only one who sees this or if everybody else does, too, but I hope that it's only me because when he looks at me I feel as if I can finally break down and cry without the fear of being beaten or the fear of making someone else cry. And I would hate it if everybody else saw that Fang's face like that as well.
"Well, actually Fang, I'm here to see Nudge," I said.
"What for?" Fang turned his head in a way to let me know that he was being stubbornly curious.
"I have to ask her to do me a favor," I pushed past him and started up the stairs towards Nudge's room.
"What's the favor?" Fang followed me up the stairs.
"None of your business," I put an edge to my voice to signal his curiosity off.
"'None of your business'? That doesn't sound like a favor. I think it's something that you don't want to tell me. And I ALWAYS find out what you don't want to tell me," Fang, ignoring my edgy voice, added, "one way or another." Then he wiggled his eyebrows.
Oh yea, well if you "always" find out what I don't want to tell you, then how come you don't know that I'm being abused by my drunk dad? Hm, wise guy? I thought, but of course would never have said out loud. Instead I said, "Sure you do, Fang. Keep telling yourself that." I had reached Nudge's door, stepped inside, and was about to slam it shut when Fang's foot jammed in between the space. When he stepped into the room he was grinning like a maniac. "Hey, Nudge. I gotta ask you for a favor, in PRIVATE." I jerked my head towards Fang.
Fang probably made some gesture behind my back to bribe Nudge or something, because the next thing that came out of her mouth sent me fuming. "We ARE in private, Max. Whatever you have to say in front of me, you can say in front of my brother. 'Kay?"
Fang crossed the room and stood beside Nudge. Both were grinning devils.
"Fine," I ground out through clenched teeth. "Nudge, I need you to make me look…girly." I could hear Fang trying-and failing miserably-not to laugh.
"Why…?" Nudge asked cautiously. As I looked at her I saw a faint spark of hope that would probably ignite into a full on blaze when I said what I was about to say.
I looked at the ceiling and bit back the growing bile in my throat when I said, "Because I have a date tonight." Suddenly, Fang's laughter cut off and the room filled with stunned silence. I looked down to study their faces. Fang's eyes were the size of black golf balls and he looked like he was about to throw up. Inside I was smugly smiling thinking, that's what the little bastard gets for butting into something he wasn't supposed to know. But I probably looked every bit as green as Fang did. When I turned to Nudge, my eardrums burst with her earsplitting squeal of delight.
"YES! FINALLY! YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND! I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!" Nudge screamed.
Ella, hearing Nudge's scream, came charging into the room, jumping up and down with joy. "Since when did you get a boyfriend?!" She asked me.
"Since, like, yesterday," I said with uncertainty. Based on the intense burning in my cheeks, I could tell that I had gone from tan to crimson.
"When and where did you guys meet?!" Nudge pressed, wanting to know all the "juicy" details.
"Well, we, um, kinda just met yesterday…but he seems nice…I think," I rung my neck and wished I was anywhere but there.
"Hold on. You just met a guy YESTERDAY and you're willing to call him your boyfriend! How stupid can you be?!" Fang's eyes turned stormy as he walked up to me with crossed arms and a disapproving glare.
"What did you just call me?" I don't know whether it was my stony features or the venom in my voice, but either way, Fang stopped and gave me one long stare. I couldn't read his features and it irritated me. "Take a picture. It'll last longer," I added bitterly.
"Whatever," Fang pushed past me, thundered down the steps, and slammed the door shut. A loud SLAM echoed throughout the entire house.
I sighed. What is up with him? I wondered. I turned back to Nudge and Ella's stunned faces and gave them an apologetic smile. "Sorry, guys. That didn't go as well as I had hoped it would."
"No problem, Max. Fang is just being moody like he always is! Now let's get you dolled up for this date of yours," Ella replied, perkily, but as I followed her and Nudge, I managed to catch a wary gaze shared between the two of them.
"Alright, so what are we waiting for?!" Nudge squealed.
"Let's get STARTED!" Both Nudge and Ella raced towards me with whatever girly utensil they could get their hands on.
TWO HOURS LATER
After two hours of both physical and verbal struggle on how I should look, we were finally putting on the finishing touches when we came to the biggest problem we could possibly face.
"I AM NOT WEARING MAKE-UP!" I screamed while holding a hot curling iron. I waved it warily between Nudge and Ella. "IF YOU COME NEAR ME WITH THOSE DEMONIC TOOLS I WILL SINGE YOUR HAIR OFF!" Despite my warnings, the twins kept on creeping towards me closer and closer with the make-up supplies. I swear on my grave that at that moment their eyes had turned from dark brown to demonic red.
"In order for you to be ready for your date you have to have LIP GLOSS!" Ella screamed back at me. It must have been a signal of some kind because Nudge feinted to the left turning my weapon's attention to her, leaving me wide open for Ella to clasp my arms behind my back and fling the curling iron away.
Nudge grinned. "Don't worry, Max. Nothing's going to hurt...well, nothing but your pride! NOW STAY STILL!" As you would (and should) expect, I did nothing of the sort and began to squirm frantically in the impossibly strong grip of Ella. Nudge began to edge closer and closer until...
"NUDGE AND ELLA! STOP TERRORIZING MAXIE! IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO WEAR LIPSTICK SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO!" Angel came bounding into Nudge's room and flopped down on the bed.
"Ugh, fine!" Both Nudge and Ella sighed and I was released from Ella's almighty death grip.
"Thank you, Angel, you're a life sav-" I was cut off by a raise of her hand.
"Let me finish. Max you don't have to put on lipstick if you don't want to...but your still gonna wear eye liner." And with that she gave the signal for Nudge and Ella to attack. Apparently, before they were holding back because when they attacked me then they somehow managed to pin me to the floor and apply makeup.
"There! Was that so hard, Max?" Ella said as she brushed imaginary lint off of her and began to pack up the makeup supplies.
"Yes," I grumbled as I looked at myself in the mirror. I have to admit, the eyeliner did wonders. The golden eyeliner was a good contrast from my chocolate eyes. That still didn't mean that I liked it though. "My face feels heavy."
"Shut up, Max. We applied it LIGHTLY." Nudge emphasized as she helped Ella pack.
"Well, I think you look pretty!" Angel perked as she skipped over and gave me a big hug.
"Thanks, Ange," I blushed at the compliment. I glanced down at my wristwatch. "Shit, I got to go," I mumbled. "Thanks guys for the help!" I ran down the steps and out the door. I ran down the block and turned a corner to see Iggy's beat up pickup truck idling on the curb. When Iggy caught sight of me, he stuck his head out the window and whistled.
:"You clean up nicely, Maximum," Iggy smiled smugly at getting me to wear a dress. I punched his shoulder. Hard.
"Shut up and drive," I grumbled.
"Jeez, for a pretty face, you sure pack a punch," He grumbled as we sped down the gravel road.
"Quit being an idiot. Just so we're clear, what exactly am I supposed to do?" I asked.
Iggy cocked an eyebrow. "Where you paying attention at ALL during the debriefing?"
I meekly shook my head. Iggy slammed his head on the dashboard, nearly causing us to crash into a parked BMW.
"Are you sure YOU should be driving?!" I had a death-grip on the sides of seats.
"Relax, Max. You're perfectly safe!" Let the records show that he said this while making an illegal U-turn. "Now back to the matter at hand. This is what's going to go down. We'll enter at different ends of the restaurant. You'll go in the front and I'll enter the back. Head over to Dylan and Mr. Gunther-Hagen's table. Once there, sit down and just be a stereotypical blonde."
"Stereotypical blonde?" Now it was my turn to cock an eyebrow.
"Yea, you know. Dumb, blonde, and perky. Practically wave your boobs in their faces."
"Uh, no. I'll pass on the boob waving, but I can be stereotypical, I guess." I was uncertain about this whole thing. If all the girls that Dylan had brought to his dad were the stereotypical blonde and slut, and he hadn't liked any of THEM, what made us think that he would like stereotypical Max?
"Great. Alright, so while you guys chat it up, Gazzy and I will be at a table near the end, watching everything for any signs of trouble. And if there is, then we'll activate Plan B."
"Plan B? What's Plan B?"
"That's for me to know and hopefully you never to find out." Iggy pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant that I was to meet Dylan and Mr. Gunther-Hagen, La Bella Luna (The Beautiful Moon). "I don't think there will be any trouble so I don't suspect that we need to use Plan B. If you stick to the plan, then everything should work out fine.
"Alright." I stepped out of the car, walked through the parking lot and stepped through the doors with what I hoped to look like a confident stride. It was a pretty classy Italian restaurant, what with its fancy waiter uniforms, crystal chandelier, and live classical music. As I walked into the doors, I immediately spotted Dylan and Mr. Gunther-Hagen. Their table was smack dab in the center of the room where everybody could see them. And by the looks of it, Dylan wanted everybody to see. The few teenage girls in the room stared at Dylan and practically drooled in their seats at how handsome he was. Based on how straight his back was and the infuriatingly knowing grin on his face, I think it's safe to say that he was relishing the attention. Mr. Gunther-Hagen on the other hand didn't seem to notice. His attention was devoted to a book in his hand. As he read, his eyes gleamed with excitement and hunger for the words on the pages.
When I reached the table, Mr. Gunther-Hagen glanced up from his book, as if just realizing that he was in a restaurant full of people, saw me and smiled. I returned his smile and took a seat next to Dylan.
"You look lovely today, my dear," Dylan's voice was an octave deeper than it normally was in an attempt to what I suspected to be charm, so I thought best to just roll with it.
"Why thank you. You're too kind," I flashed him a smile and then turned my attention to Mr. Gunther-Hagen. "And I suspect you to be Dylan's father?"
"Yes, I am." He thrust out his hand and I shook it.
"Nice to meet you, Mr. Gunther-Hagen. My name is Maximum Ride."
"Oh, you can just call me Hans, Maximum."
"And you can just call me Max." Hans gave me a warm smile then continued back to his book. Not good. Yea, sure I get props for the smile he gave me, but it seems that I'm not as interesting as his book is. I swallowed the urge to frown and stick my tongue out at him (childish-I know) and instead turned to Dylan and asked what was for dinner. Dylan, knowing that it as his cue to start a conversation, started telling me a humorous narrative on the delicacies that were planned for this evening. I laughed at his corny jokes as perkily as I could. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched Hans for any reaction to our joking around, but saw nothing. There was no smile, no laugh, not even a frown of discouragement. If anything, he was even more interested in his book than ever (if that's even possible). This lack of reaction proved my theory that he didn't like Dylan being with perky, slutty whores. Despite myself, I grinned. I love being right.
While Dylan continued talking, I stopped listening. Instead, my eyes scanned the room, looking for Gazzy and Iggy. I finally spotted them in the very back of the room, as planned. Gazzy was mercilessly chowing down on a plate of spaghetti. Iggy was a little more composed. His back was perfectly straight, his face blank but pleasant, his red-blond hair was dangling in his eyes, not entirely obstructing his view, but his eyes were watchful, aware of the slightest of movements in a twenty feet radius of him and Gazzy. He spotted me looking at him and raised an eyebrow. I gave him a reassuring smile.
"So Max, what are your interests and hobbies?" Hans's voice drew my attention back to the table.
"Well, above all things, I love to take care of my little brother, Ari. Strange, I know, but he's so cute and adorable that you GOTTA love him. And when I have time away from the little energy ball, which is border line rare, I enjoy reading." I answered truthfully. Dylan looked a little taken aback by my answer while Hans looked as intrigued as he was about his glorious book.
"Oh? What books have you read recently?" Hans leaned forward.
"Well, I just finished The Book Thief and before that I read To Kill a Mockingbird and The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (Author's Note: If you guys haven't read any of these books yet, I suggest you read them. They may be old, but they are AMAZING!)."
"How did you like The Book Thief?" The corner of his lips tugged upwards as if he were trying to hide a knowing smile. I bet that he thought I hadn't even read that book. He was dead wrong.
"Well, first and foremost, I cried when Hans, Rosa, Rudy, and Tommy died. And I loved the format of the writing, how it was all from Death's point of view and how in the end Death took Liesel. And there were so many other details that just amazed me, like the historical back round, the word choice, and how everything was just so devised, precise, and to the point. Overall, that book was one of my favorites. Even though I basically ruined the entire book, if you haven't read it yet, I would suggest that you do because it was THAT GOOD." I gave Hans a sweet smile and then turned as the waiter came with our food. Once the waiter left, I turned my attention back to Hans who, for the first time in the entire evening, gave me a real, full-blown smile.
"Is there anything else besides liking books and caring for your brother?" He asked.
"Yea, I like to sing." I said meekly. If Hans saw how uncomfortable I was at the topic of singing to anyone, he didn't show it.
"Really? How good are you?" I just shrugged. "Come now. Sing for us."
"Right now?" It didn't seem like a good idea to sing in front of a bunch of random people I didn't even know, not because I was shy, but because it would look kind of strange for me to just randomly belch out tunes. And if I did, Iggy would have a heart attack. I didn't say this so instead I changed the subject. "Enough about me. What are your interests?"
Hans finally understood that I don't like singing in front of people and he gladly started talking about himself and his business. While describing his business, Dylan and I managed to get a few jokes in about how destructive Hans must be when he's mad. Before we knew it we were all laughing and making fun of each other as if we were old friends. Everything was perfect…until Fang walked through the front door with a red headed whore in his arms.
Iggy and Gazzy immediately sprang into action. They raced past our table, slapped my plate of RED spaghetti onto my $200 WHITE dress, raced back, made some excuse to Dylan and Hans that they would buy me a new dress (which they probably wouldn't), threw my hair into my face, practically CARRIED ME FROM THE TABLE AND OUT THE DOOR, shoved me into Iggy's beat up pick-up truck, and sped away. Normally, I would scream at them how they ruined my dress, hair, and the entire evening, and how they would give me three-fourths of the money they got from Dylan's dad. Instead, I just sat in the passenger seat, staring out the window.
"What's up with you?" Iggy stared at me until Gazzy screamed for him to look at the road before we all died.
"Nothing." I covered my mouth with my hand, trying to hide my enormous grin from the boys. Before they stole me from my dinner, I managed to hear what Hans said to Dylan while I was carried away. Back at the dinner table, Hans had said to Dylan, "I like that girl." Meaning, success.
Okay guys, before you start screaming and yelling at me about how I am so stupid and how I should go die in a hole or something, hear me out. I came prepared and I have reasons. 1. I went to Nigeria for half of the summer and they don't have Wi-Fi in the entire nation. 2. After that I went to Florida, without my computer, and so I only had my laptop, which doesn't have Microsoft Word so I wasn't able to work. 3. When I came back from Florida, school was about to start and so then I had to get ready. 4. School started and when school starts it's really busy and everything. And then there is reason number 5. The biggest reason. 5. For some dumbass reason, Microsoft Word, just decided to delete itself from my computer and so we had to repurchase the ENTIRE FRICKIN PROGRAM! And let me just tell you, it is NOT CHEAP. IT WAS $200! So my mom kept on procrastinating on buying it and so we just bought it like 2 days ago so yea. If you want me to say that I'm sorry and that not updating for 3 months is unacceptable and that I will never do it again, well then suck it up cuz that ain't gonna happen. Yea, I'll make sure to post at least ONCE in the span of 3 months, but I won't be able to post every single week cuz I have classes and homework. All street talk aside, I still love you guys and I hope you like this exceptionally long chappy made just for you! And again I am still pretty sorry for leaving you guys hanging for 3 months. I'll try to do better! And just remember, comment if you have questions, ideas on how to make the story any better, or if you want to give me a million dollars for just being me. NEVER FORGET THAT I LOVE YOU ALL BECAUSE YOU ARE LOVELY PEOPLE AND IF YOU EVER HAVE ANY THOUGHTS OF SUICIDE OR INFLICTING SELF HARM, PLEASE DON'T BECAUSE YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! I LOVE YOU! HAVE A GREAT AND AWESOME DAY!
Watch the skies,
Doctor Bessy