Hey all you beautiful peeps! Doctor Bessy is in the house with a new chappy for y'all! Hope you enjoy it!
Disclaimer: I. Don't. Own. Shit. I don't know how many times I have to keep sayin' it, but I don't own none of this. Except the plot. And a sandwich. And my laptop. But besides that I own nothing. So yes….
6 MONTHS AND 26 DAYS BEFORE DEATH
I woke up with a start. My eyes flashed open and I took in Ari's small form standing over me, trying to shake me awake.
"Max, come ON. If you don't hurry up, we'll be late! Wake UP." Ari continued to shake me.
"Alright, alright. I'm awake, you little mongrel," I chuckled as I playfully slapped him away from me. "Now get out so I can change." Groaning, I rolled out of bed. Usually, Ari and I would be much stealthier waking up, but on account that it was a Saturday, the one day of the week we were completely free of Jeb, we felt free to be as loud as we wanted.
An image of Jeb's sad, pathetic expression flashed across my vision, but I quickly dismissed it. No use getting all worked up about something when I already know the end result, I reasoned with myself as I grabbed some clothes to change into.
Fifteen minutes later, Ari and I were out the door and headed towards Fang's house. About halfway there, we saw a figure running to catch up to us.
"MAX. ARI. YO." Iggy screamed from across the street. We halted and watched as he jogged towards us, doubled over, and starting gasping and wheezing like a fish out of water.
"Hey, are you okay, Ig?" I set my hand on his back and patted encouragingly.
"Does it…look like…I'm…okay?" Iggy managed to say through gasps. "I…just ran…all the fucking way...here."
"First of all, watch your mouth in front of Ari." Next to me, I heard Ari mutter, "Hypocrite" but I chose to ignore it and continued on. "Secondly, why the hell didn't you take your pickup truck?" I place my hands on my hips and look down at Iggy's still struggling form through narrowing eyes.
"Couldn't…it's in the shop…I crashed it…into a pole…the other day…" Iggy had slightly recovered and was now standing up straighter.
"Poor pole," I mumbled. I laughed as Iggy glared at me.
"Guys, come ON. Let's stop blabbing and GO already!" Ari danced around in a hurry and I was once again, for the millionth time, struck by how cute he was.
"Okay, okay, Mr. Antsy-Pants. Lead the way and we'll be right behind you." Ari huffed and started off, Iggy and I falling into step behind him. A couple of blocks later, we were standing in front of Fang's house and step inside. (We used a key Mrs. Martinez gave us. What with us always popping in and out, she eventually got too exasperated to answer the constantly ringing doorbell.)
"Max! Ari!" Ella strolled up to us and smiled. But before I could respond, Ella had looked past us at Iggy. "IGGY! I didn't know you would be here. What's up?" Ella sidled up to Iggy and batted her eyelashes.
My eyebrows shot up to new heights as Iggy replied: "Nothing much. How 'bout you?" Iggy gave her one of his famous half smiles and I wouldn't have been surprised if she melted into a puddle right then and there. I grabbed Ari's hand and we drifted away to the kitchen to give them some space.
"What's wrong with Ella?" Ari asked me once we were a littles away.
"Hormones, sweetie." I grimace in disgust.
"What are hormones?" Ari continued to look up at me with curious, big eyes.
"A regulatory substance produced in an organism and transported in tissue fluids such as blood or sap to stimulate specific cells or tissues into action," Angel answered as she walked into the room. Upon her presence, Ari immediately went into fawning mode.
"Hey, Angel," Ari beamed.
"Hi, Ari," Angel smiled in return.
"You're so smart. How did you know that about hormones?" Ari gushed.
"Well, I like to read some of the big kid books at school and some of them talk about stuff like that. Like there was this one big book..." I didn't hear the rest of their conversation because I had already moved away. Ella was flirting with Iggy at the door and Ari was flirting with Angel in the kitchen. I knew that if I tried to find Nudge, she would ramble nonstop and Gazzy would try to convince me to light some innocent building on fire, and I didn't feel I was ready for any of that yet, which left only one possibility…Fang. The thought of him sent a shiver of warmth and excitement through my system. My mind flashed back to yesterday in the parking lot and I immediately felt flustered. I guess I was so preoccupied with my thoughts, that I didn't realize that I had wandered upstairs and I wasn't prepared for what happened next.
"Hey, Max," Fang whispered in my ear. I whirled around and swung a punch at him. Unfortunately, what with him being a friggin' ghost, he slipped away before his face could meet my fist. "Calm down, would ya? It's just me," he chuckled.
"Oh," I relaxed slightly, then walked up to him and punched his arm. Well, I attempted to punch his arm, but his supernatural powers helped him avoid me. "Dammit, Fang! Get back here!"
"Why, so you can punch me, or should I say try to?" He smirked as he skillfully swept past my body and ended up behind me. I swiveled around and placed my hands on my hips.
"Yes. That is exactly what you should do. It is a just punishment for you sneaking up on me." I scowled at his arrogant grin.
"Says who?" He tilted his head to the side and his eyes sparkled with mischief.
"Says me. Now stand still so I can kindly hand your ass to you." I stomped forward and to my surprise and ever growing suspicion, Fang stayed put.
"I'd like to see you try." He smirked. "I bet you won't be able to lay a single pu-" before he could finish, I had already kicked his legs out from under him, causing his body to fall towards my awaiting fist. At the last possible second, he twisted out of the way, got his feet under him, and appeared behind me. Without even looking, I swung my foot around for a roundhouse kick, but Fang caught my heel in the air. He pulled me off my balance and before I fell I dragged him to the ground with me. We wrestled for what felt like ages and for a while I was on top.
"What was that about how I wouldn't land a punch on you, asshole?" I smirked. Unfortunately my arrogance withered away when Fang bucked out from under me and wrestled me back to the ground, this time with him on top and me on bottom.
"I said you couldn't land a punch on me, not a kick, dumbass." He flashed my smirk right back at me and my scowl deepened. But no matter how hard I bucked, I couldn't get out from under him. Who knew ghosts had super strength.
Never let it be said that I didn't know when I was beat. I stopped struggling and glared up at him. "Fine you win, you dick. Now let me go already."
"Ah, ah, ah, Max. It isn't nice to call people bad names. Besides, I think I kinda like you being under me." Fang's smirk turned to a wicked grin.
"Oh, don't be a perv! Now let me go or I swear that I will kick your ass to the moon." Dammit, Fang was, is, and always will be the most pompous ass I have ever had the displeasure of befriending and loving. Man, I seriously need a better taste in men.
"Oh, I'm so scared. You have me quaking in my nonexistent boots. If you want to get up, you have to be nice and say the magic word."
By that point was only listening to half of the things he was saying because I was too busy trying to not hyperventilate. What with me being so angry before, I didn't notice how little space there was between us. In fact, I could feel the heat off of his skin, filling my body with heat. I could feel my ears and my cheeks blazing. It had been warm out that day, so I had only worn a thin tank and shorts. If I had known this would have happened, I would've worn a wool sweater and thick sweatpants no matter how many strange stares I got. Oh, and another thing. Did I mention that Fang didn't have a shirt on? No? My bad. But you really should have expected it, what with the universe having it out for me, of course the guy I liked just had to tackle me while half naked. Just. Fucking. Perfect. And did I mention this man is ripped. Because he has the six pack of a god. And I don't care if it's possible or not, but I'm pretty sure that his muscles have muscles. No? It's not possible you say? Well take a damn good look at Fang and tell me if it's possible then.
All these thoughts and more crowded my brain and enflamed my cheeks. Seeing my distress and embarrassment, Fang leaned in closer and laughed softly. "Max, Max, Max. Shame on you for thinking such lewd thoughts. Who's the pervert now?"
"I-I w-wasn't…" I stammered and cursed myself and my ancestors for making me weak when it came to Fang.
"All you gotta do is say the magic word and I'll get off." He was so close that I could feel his breath on my neck. I involuntarily shivered.
"Fang, p-ple-"
"EW EW EW EW EWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! CAN YOU TWO PLEASE GET A ROOM! I'D RATHER YOU GUYS NOT HAVE SEX IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY. I DON'T WANT TO CLEAN UP THAT MESS!" Nudge stood over us with her arms crossed and a look of utter disgust on her face.
Good news: Nudge had just saved me from embarrassing myself even further by saying the "magic word". I had never used that word for anyone before and I wasn't going to start now.
Bad news: What with Nudge's loud mouth, the entire house heard what we may or may not have been up to.
When I heard Iggy, Ella, Angel, and Ari race up the stairs, all I could do was lay my head back down on the floor and groan.
"I WANNA SEE!" Iggy came into the hallway first, with wild eyes and his phone out.
"Iggy, NO!" Ella grabbed onto him.
"Let go, Ella! It's not every day I get to watch my little Max become a woman! I need to capture this precious moment." Iggy struggled and tried to hold his hand up at the same time to video tape, but his grip slacked with Ella's struggling and his phone eventually fell.
"First of all, what the hell is wrong with you! Secondly, we are NOT having sex! Nudge just assumed that we were and decided that the whole world should know!" I shot an acid glare at Nudge, but she just shrugged. I huffed and continued on. "Thirdly, why? Just…WHY?! What the hell is wrong with you! While I screamed at Iggy, Fang stooped down and picked up Iggy's phone.
"This is your phone, right?" Fang held it up.
"Yea…" Iggy scowled.
"Ok." Fang slammed the phone onto the ground and ground it to powder under his foot.
"Whaaa…WHAT THE HELL MAN! THAT'S MY PHONE YOU'RE SMASHING!" Iggy's face was beet red.
"I know. You just told me." Fang's face was completely 100% neutral.
"Why…would…you…break…my…phone!"
"Because you were trying to take a creepy video and being a perv."
"THAT'S NO REASON FOR YOU TO CRUSH SOMEBODY'S PHONE YOU ASSHOLE!" Iggy tackled Fang and started dealing out punches before Fang bucked him off and kicked him in the groin.
"Guys, STOP!" I yelled, but my voice was overshadowed by Nudge screaming, "KICK HIM WHERE IT HURTS!" To whom, I have no idea and I don't think the boys knew either, but it still got them to fight regardless.
I was about to jump both of them and wallop their asses, but I felt a little tug on the hem of my shirt. Looking down, I saw that it was Ari. "Ari, not now I gotta stop these idiots from killing each other."
"Maaaxxxxxxxxxx. I have a question. And I wanna know noooooowwwwwwww." Ari whined. Annoyed, I stooped down to his level and gestured for him to continue. "Okay. What does "sex" mean?"
Hearing this, my entire body froze and a sinking feeling grew in the pit of my stomach. "Uh…um…well…" The more I stuttered, the more flustered I became.
"Hey, Ari. I know what "sex" means." Gazzy giggled.
"Really?" Angel looked doubtful.
"Yeah. Come here and I'll tell you." Angel and Ari went to Gazzy and he started whispering in their ears. I was too flustered and shocked to stop them from learning the horrifying truth. Midway into Gazzy's explanation, Angel choked with disgust, but Ari shushed her so they could hear what Gazzy was saying. Finally, Gazzy leaned back and burst out laughing.
"So…that's where babies come from?" Angel's eyes were wide with shock and enlightenment.
"Max always told me that a magical stork delivered me to my house on my birthday." Ari wheeled on me and his eyes were filled with confusion and a slight hint of betrayal. "And all these years, I thought that I was not only adopted but also half-stork! What else did you lie to me about, Max? Is there even an Easter Bunny or Santa Clause? Next, you'll be saying that there are mutant bird children who fly around defeating evil wolf people called Erasers or something and trying to save the world from one twisted plot after the other. It's crazy!"
"I agree. Plus there's no way that a baby can fit through such a small hole. The only explanation is the stork. Plus, if the magical stork wasn't real, then that would mean Santa and the Easter Bunny weren't real either, making our world a sad, sad place." Angel and Ari nodded in agreement and I nearly collapsed with relief. If Ari had believed Gazzy…I don't know what I would have done. That is one nightmare I am not willing to happen.
One problem solved, another one to go. I turned my attention back to Iggy and Fang and was about to pull them apart when Mrs. Martinez screamed, "ALL OF YOU PEOPLE SHUT UP! Jesus! What in the world is wrong with you people! You'd think that the one day of the week when I get time off of work that you would be considerate enough to be quiet so I can get some sleep! But, NOOOO, you guys feel the need to fight and yell and talk about sex!" Fang tried to apologize but Mrs. Martinez held her hand up. "I don't want to hear a word from you, young man. Go to your room. All of you, go to your rooms!" Fang, Nudge, Ella, Gazzy, and Angel all slunk into their respective rooms.
Not knowing what to do, I raised my hand. "Uh, Mrs. Martinez?"
"What?" She snapped.
"Ummm, we don't live here." I answered meekly.
For a moment she just stared at me blankly. "GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" She didn't have to tell us twice. We were out the door before she could do something crazy like grab a shotgun or something. Seeing us leave, Mrs. Martinez rubbed her face. "I need to take a nap."
So much for hanging out today.
HEY GUYZZZZZ! BEFORE YOU MURDER ME, LET ME JUST APOLOGIZE AND SAY THAT I AM SORRY FOR NOT WRITING. BUT HEY, AT LEAST YOU GUYS DIDN'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR AN ENTIRE YEAR, RIGHT? So on that positive note, I decided to write this insane, quirky chappy for y'all with a dash of FAX added into the mix as well. Hope you all enjoyed and don't forget to tell me what I do wrong and right in making this story! I LOVE YOU ALL! R & R, please! Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL MY PEEPS!
Watch the skies,
Doctor Bessy