Chapter 2
All Right Now
Sleeping on the couch after working out was the only way to spend a lazy afternoon. Yang believed it then, and she believes it now. It was a hot day outside, reaching its peak somewhere in the triple digits. As much as Yang liked the heat, even she had her limits; especially in a small cottage with no air conditioning.
Yang stirred from her slumber with heavy eyes struggling against the blinding light of the now slowly setting sun piercing through the window. She turned to her left, only to realize her mistake too late as she fell to the floor with a thud. Groaning in discomfort, she gripped the couch and pulled herself up.
"Stupid couch," she grumbled, "Why couldn't we just have a big crib in here? At least I wouldn't hit this stupid floor every other day."
A voice outside of her view interrupted her thoughts. "It isn't so bad, Yang." The blonde turned to see her fellow blonde and housemate, Jaune Arc, standing at the foot of the stairs, holding a large cardboard box from the attic labeled 'Beacon'.
Yang just looked down at herself. "Easy for you to say. You still have-"
"Don't!" Jaune shouted, resulting in Yang snapping her head up and Jaune to drop the box and cover his mouth. The box then landed on his foot, causing him to scream in pain, albeit more of a muffled shout thanks to his hands. Yang laughed with tears in her eyes as Jaune was still squirming and reeling from his pain.
Yang soon settled down and walked over to the recently wounded boy and his box of memories. She kissed him on the cheek and moved down to pick up the box. Deadlifting it one-handed, Yang carried the box over to the couch she was resting on not too long ago. Jaune, while significantly healed physically, he was now equally damaged in his confidence after seeing her lift the heavy box with no problem.
"Don't worry, sweetie." Yang cooed, "You're still the best man I know. After Qrow. And Dad. And Ozpin. And Port. And Oobleck. And-"
"I get it!" he snapped. "Am I at least better than you in manliness?"
"I don't know," Yang coyly stated as she flexed her arm, making it look like someone stuffed a ham into a sweater sleeve and left it there, "this one is about as big as my girls, and you know how big my girls are." She ended her statement by cradling both of her breasts in her arm, lightly swaying for extra 'oomph', as they say.
Jaune was momentarily mesmerized before quickly looking away, more red in the face than his mission to the hottest beach in all of Remnant. Turns out dousing Salamanders with sea water doesn't put them out; it just makes them angrier.
"It's okay! You're the only man I'd want to see me like this." She motioned her hand over herself before silently adding, "and maybe less."
"Say again?"
"What's this mess?!" She quickly shouted, attempting to cover her previous statement. Clearing her throat and calming herself down, she repeated. "What's this mess? Is it my old stuff from Beacon, or yours?"
"I'm not sure." Seating himself on the couch, he continued. "Just found it while cleaning the attic."
"Was Jorge up there?"
Jaune gave her an irritated look. "If by Jorge, you mean that spider that was so big it could Ruby for a snack, then yes, I met Jorge."
Yang chuckled. "I thought I heard a woman screaming." She looked the other way. "Guess it was my imagination."
"You know what?"
"I do know what. What I don't know is what's in this box."
Jaune pulled out a knife. Yang panicked.
"Jauney-baby! I'm sorry! It was just a joke! I love you!"
Jaune set the knife on the box before kissing her on the cheek. "I'm not gonna hurt you. I was just pulling it out so I could open it." He then grabbed the knife and surgically positioned it on the tape. "By the way, I love you, too." He then sliced the tape off like Ruby on Free Cookie Day.
The horror…
Jaune removed the tape and opened the box. Inside were various items collected over the years. Jaune and Yang looked over each item, both with a warm fondness and sense of nostalgia from walking down memory lane. Each item held a memory that each of them had, some shared, others separate.
A picture of Team RWBY and JNPR posing for their first team outing together. Yang was doing bunny ears behind Ruby and Blake, while Ruby did the same to Weiss. Blake was doing her usual thing, reading. Jaune questioned if she knew about her picture being taken, but Yang knew her partner inside and out, and Blake definitely knew about the camera. How? The book was upside-down. Weiss tried to look as prim and proper as possible, failing thanks to her partner and team leader. Nora was hugging Jaune and Ren tightly in her arms, Ren more so than Jaune, though Jaune's pained look made it seem otherwise. Standing behind Nora was…
Jaune's grip tightend. Yang noticed and let go, using her hand to gently place it on Jaune's, bringing him back to reality.
"Thanks."
"It's what I'm here for."
Jaune set the picture down and looked inside again, taking interest in a magazine that found its way in there. Laying on top of the pile below the picture was an issue of "Busty's Beauties". On it a blue-haired woman was wearing a purple bath robe that was covering her pink lingerie. Her figure resembled that of an hourglass, though this was probably how she was positioned; bent forward with her hands cupping her bountiful chest. The cover story was titled 'Oceana's Thinly Veiled Secrets'. Jaune felt a lump in his throat and a tightness in his pant before a wide area of pain covered the back of his head. Yang was giving him the ugliest stink eye he ever saw.
"You were staring!"
"I-I was just reading the titles!" He defended.
"Bull!" She exclaimed. "You were looking at something else that starts with T!"
"Come on! You know I only have eyes for you." He said the last line as softly as he could, hoping to move past this.
In a huff, Yang quietly threatened, "This isn't over."
Jaune was safe.
For now.
Putting the magazine away, Jaune found a poster of The Achieve Men. It was an old poster, too, considering one of the members was still there. Rye left to pursue his own career as a DJ. A lot of fans were sad, some angry, but they all eventually moved on and accepted his decision. When asked if he missed the old crew in an interview, he responded, "Everybody but that nosy Glue. Well, I guess I miss him, too. And don't tell Edgar this, but I kind of miss him, too, even if he was a little weird and creepy."
"I guess that answers whose box this is." Jaune plainly stated.
"Guess so." Yang said with a smile.
"Wait. Why do you have an issue of- Well, you know?"
"Eh. Got bored. Thought I'd see what guys liked so much about this kind of stuff. Not all that impressed to be honest. The girls are boring, the articles were just celebrity gossip, and the ads weren't for me. You'd have be a real "boob" to like this kind of stuff!"
"Well," Jaune started as he laid back, "if "mammary" serves me right, didn't they have jokes in there, too?"
Before Jaune could open his eyes to see the look on Yang's face, he was already about 180 lbs. heavier and his mouth was being invaded. He knew exactly what to do in this situation: just go with it. As Yang continued to ravage his face, the blonde knight simply moved his hands up and down Yang's back, gently massaging here and there until she stopped.
Taking a few breaths, Yang finally spoke. "You know what puns do to me, Vomit Boy!"
"Yeah, I know."
"Do it again, and-"
""Well, I'll see", right?"
She climbed off of his lap and took her seat on the other side of the box. She went back to strolling down memory lane before she noticed something. Something that she quickly grabbed. The last thing she wanted anyone to see, especially-!
"What was that?"
Too late.
"W-What was what?" She asked, clinging the object close to her chest, redder in the face than he'd ever seen before.
"What you just grabbed. What is it?" No answer besides Yang clinging tighter. "Please, baby?" Tighter. "Please?" It's about to become dust, and not the good kind. Jaune sighed and admitted defeat. "Fine. I won't bother you anymore."
Jaune suddenly felt something slam against his chest. He looked over and saw Yang and saw her keeping her gaze down. He took the object and got a good look at it.
It was a now crinkled old piece of paper. It had checkmarks next to words which were lined in a vertical form.
Jaune went down the line and read aloud each one. "Funny with a great sense of humor…" he began, "heroic and brave, kind and sweet, strong, faithful," the next one, which was in bold, he read in disgust, "great body," finally reaching the final trait, reading it silently to himself.
"What is this?" Jaune asked.
"What's it look like? It's a list!"