Chapter 3
Crushed Grapes
Professor Port was a man of fine tastes, or so we're told. He once fought and killed over a hundred Grimm in one night with nothing more than his wits and a toothbrush, or so we're told. Yes, Professor Peter Port was the bravest man to have ever blessed the land a Remnant with his very existence. Or so we're told.
This was the entire class: five minutes on the actual lesson, the rest of the time spent on the Professor's outlandish stories. Despite how far-fetched the stories may have seemed, Jaune was one of the few who believed. Ever class with Port, Jaune would sit in his seat, wide-eyed as if he were a child listening to his father's stories. If Jaune didn't have his dad, he knew who he'd like to be his.
In the class, the arrangements were all the same. Aye Vory sat here, Citrine Rind sat there, and so on and so forth. However, there were two students not in their normal seats; Ruby Rose and Yang Xiao Long. The Professor thought it odd at first, but thought it was something along the lines of "the seven year itch" despite the facts that Beacon attendance is four years and Yang and Ruby were barely through half of the first year.
The two were definitely not listening to Port. Instead, they had their focus on only one person, and that was the tall, blonde, and scraggly young knight sitting a few seats in front of them. Yang gazed at Jaune with longing eyes. As if he were the most adorable puppy she ever found on her doorstep before her dad got bit on the leg once and they ran away to become a scholar in law school and now serve as the number one prosecutor in all of Remnant. Yang sighed as she melted further into her desk and seat at the thought of her cutie little puppy lawyer sitting in front of her.
Ruby, on the other hand, was having something akin to a silent breakdown. She knew about Yang's list. Heck, Ruby helped Yang make the list! But she also knew how this song and dance goes; Yang finds a guy who meets just one of the traits, and she falls for them. They end up breaking her heart, usually by finding someone else. And every time it happened, it broke Ruby's heart.
She remembers walking past Yang's room, her crying, sobbing, and wailing into her pillow for nights on end because of her "breakups" with these boys she never really spoke to and she thought it was because of some flaw she found in herself. Sometimes it was because she was too ugly, sometimes too fat, sometimes too shy, or sometimes too aggressive. No matter how Ruby sliced it with Crescent Rose, the problem remained the same: Yang fell too fast in love with someone she barely knows.
Yang knew it, too. She knew of her "illness", as her uncle called it, but she didn't know how to cure it. Someway, somehow, whether she confessed or not, the boys would reject her and find someone else. She knew she would find some horrible, and most likely imaginary, flaw in herself that would leave her bedridden with depression for days on end. But, much like with instinct, love was something she just couldn't fight.
"And now, students, here's your class assignment: I have here, in my super special, patent-pending, Porthole! I will open this up, and out pops a deadly Grimm at random. It could be a Beowolf. It could be an Ursa. It could even be the legendary Dragon… Although that's unlikely as it's just a myth. Now, the entire class will vote on our volunteer who will challenge this fearsome beast! And by "the entire class will vote", I mean I will choose a student at random! You can leave a complaint in my suggestion box, but like so many of your pathetic attempts to give depression by leaving childish and just plain rude messages, they will go unanswered. Ready?"
Everyone was on edge. It could be anything, as the professor said. It could be anything, including a high level monster, like an alpha, or a Nevermore.
"Eenie…" Port pointed to the top right.
Never before had fear gripped students in this class as it had now. They all had to leave their weapons in their lockers. If they need them, they'd have to summon them from their scrolls, which would require time to concentrate plus time for their lockers to arrive. And time is never kind to a hunter.
"Meenie…" Port pointed to Weiss.
Weiss felt her stomach drop. But this wasn't fear; no, this was hunger. Due to her new diet plan, she skipped breakfast and had a lighter lunch. Why would she need to go on a diet? Well, her older sister sent her a selfie photo and, as much as it pained her, though not as much as from this hunger, Winter looked good in her photo. Sure, it may have been on a whim and taken without much thought, it still made her feel self-conscious. The last thing on her mind was fighting a Grimm.
"Minie…" Port was just swaying his finger here and there now. He didn't really care about who it was because he knew they could handle it. So he shut his eyes and pointed to the bottom left. "…You!"
Right at Jaune Arc. Jaune looked left. Then right. Behind him; below and above. He tried getting up and moving, only to be pursued by Port's finger.
"Are you done?" he asked.
Admitting defeat, Jaune stepped forward onto what his professor liked to call the slaughter floor. He was nervous, and almost everyone could tell. Weiss simply ignored him, looking up ways to fight her hunger on her scroll. Ruby was too focused on Yang to really notice Jaune. Yang eyes were only for him.
"Good luck, Vomit Boy!" she cheered as endearingly as possible. Unfortunately, due to Yang's voice being registered to Jaune as snarky and sarcastic, he simply tried to ignore her. "Try to get me a souvenier!" she hollered. The poor guy was ready to lose his lunch from the stress. One more word and he might just- "You've got this, killer!"
The only response Jaune had was his mulched chicken nuggets covering his trousers. Now everyone had their eyes on him. Weiss got a terrible idea; an absolutely awful idea from it, which she then pushed to the back of her mind. 'A Schnee does not think that way', she quiet scolded to herself. Ruby took her eyes off Yang for one second, not even one second, to look at Jaune's mess. 'Poor guy', she thought, then went back to looking at Yang, who was no longer in her seat.
Ruby's eyes just about popped out of her head as she saw Yang down on the slaughter floor, taking a bottle of a clear liquid, an old rag, combining the liquid with the rag, and wiping, dabbing, rubbing, and scrubbing on Jaune's pants; thighs, inner thighs, crotch! She was down there, innocently scrubbing his special area. Jaune couldn't die of embarrassment, but he wished he could right now.
"Bored now." Port stated. "I'm just gonna push the button and hope you're out of the way when the fight starts, okay?"
"Wait, wha-?" Port slammed down on the button before Jaune could respond.
Just then, a portal opened itself up, and five seconds afterwards, a white hoof stomped its way out of the portal. Jaune quivered as he saw the hulking beast that stepped forth. Standing at an easy seven and a half feets, the Grimm stared down at his prey. His crimson helmet was adorned with a pair of bull horns, and lined down its back into spines that descended in size the further it went, ending in a bristled tail. It let out an angry mooing sound from its flesh-rending mouth. The black as a starless night fur cloaked its body, ending in pastel white hooves and glove-like hands.
"Well, now! Here's something you don't see every day! Can anyone tell me the name of this beast?!" he screamed in delight as the cow-monster was readying itself like a marathon sprinter.
"Edgar?" one student asked.
"No! A Minos! Who would name a cow Edgar? That's just plain stupid!"
The beast roared as it charged Jaune and Yang, the latter of who was just finishing up her scrubbing. Jaune grabbed Yang by under her armpits and threw her to the left as Jaune readied himself for the first, and hopefully not last blow by the Grimm. He didn't have time to summon with his scroll, so he braced himself with as much aura as he could muster, and prayed for the best.
Yang looked on in mid-flight as the beast uppercutted Jaune with its skull, flinging him to the far back wall of the class, everyone jumped and ducked out of the way to avoiding getting caught in the middle of the battle. She felt so helpless in that one moment. And that one moment was enough for her. After landing, Yang got to her feet and charged the Minos.
For the first time since class started, Professor Port became scared. "Miss Xiao Long, no!" he cried out. "Despite its tremendous size and power, its mind can only focus on one target!"
But his warning fell on deaf ears as Yang punched the beastly bovine in the ribs, only to be bounce off by its thick hide. Yang was now the target as it swung a white hand to swat her away. Ducking, Yang tried the back of the knee next, only to fail then as well. It instead landed forward onto its hands and using both hooves to kick Yang, sending her behind the professors' desk and cratering into the board.
Yang fell with a thud. The Paladin punch she got from battling that gangster did about a quarter more damage than this thing. But for some reason, her strength was failing her this time. Was it the Grimm? Did it have some kind of muscle de-booster thing on him or something? Yang was so lost and confused that she didn't notice it standing on top of her with a hoof hovering over her.
"Yang!" her sister cried, but even as she looked up, she only had enough time to brace for what was coming by shutting her eyes. In less than a second, she would be dead and gone. Professor Port would probably be fired. She would never find her mother. She would never get to watch her baby sister grow up. She would never get to confess to Jaune. All because she was too stupid to not fall in love.
'You know,' Yang thought, 'I have an awful lot of thinking time right now.' She opened her eyes and looked up to see her current love interest standing with his back to her, holding his shielth over his head with both hands. He was clearly struggling, which a bit of a turn off for her. Luckily it was just enough for her to hear what he was saying.
"Locker!" Jaune struggled to get out. "Now!"
Yang nodded as she jumped away and pulled out her scroll. Summoning her locker, she had enough time during the waiting period to watch Jaune step away and parry the hoof. He was panting hard, but he was still goading it by banging his sword onto his shielth. Making little hops side to side, he made sure it didn't move anywhere, focused only on him. Like a brave knight guarding villagers from a monster, Yang watched her increasingly sweaty hero try to save everyone.
She was yanked from her dream world when a locker landed a few yards away. She ran as fast as she could towards her locker, input her pin, and grabbed Ember Celica. She also took what little time she had to think of a strategy. Punching it wasn't working, so she needed something different. Something radical, bold, and new!
'I got it! I'll just punch him really hard this time!'
Armed with her new plan, she charged the Minos from behind, leaped onto its back, gripping the spines as she clambered up, and began firing hot round after hot round into the back of the mad cows' neck. Rearing back, it fell over and attempted to squash the annoying yellow bug on it. Said annoying bug was already off and standing next to Jaune.
"You got a plan?" he asked.
"Funny, I was about to ask you the same thing."
"I heard a little about it while summoning my locker. It's a Minos, which are bipedal bovine Grimm who focus only on direct threats and interfering combatants."
"Could you say that again like a normal guy?"
"It's a walking cow that fight what's in front of them and whatever attacks them. By the way, what happened earlier? I've seen you take way harder hits than what this guy has."
"I don't know. He hit me and the next thing I know, I'm not feeling my semblance activating!"
"I've read about this. Apparently, there are some Grimm who negate specific semblances. This one probably cancels your damage-power transfer semblance."
"Yeah, and I also can't use my get hit-hit harder ability."
Jaune sighed inwardly. "Yeah, exactly."
The Minos was back on its hooves and ready to kill.
"So, to say it again, you got a plan?"
"Hmm… It might cancel your semblance, but it still takes damage like normal, right?"
"Yeah, except for its thick skin."
"Maybe we could... I got it! Yang, you distract him," Jaune then ran off, "and don't get killed!"
"Don't plan on it, sugar-baby."
Yang began blasting it with her shot-gauntlets, circling it to keep the attention on her. It worked, and the beast swiped at and tried to stomp her, but nothing landed. She then slid between its legs, firing the whole time, and began shooting the backside. The bristle tail suddenly started whipping about wildly, smashing the desk to splinters.
"No! My Cherrywood! I knew I should have gotten Mahogany!"
The tail was definitely a problem that needed to be dealt with, but Yang couldn't figure out how. Her semblance won't protect against it, and her punches would only make it swing back around.
A glyph appeared on the ground below the wildly swinging tail and stopped it dead in its tracks with a suddenly rising icicle. The Minos struggled, unaware that it wouldn't escape from the casters' icy grip. Weiss stepped to Yangs' right and casted another glyph on the hooves. The beast, having lost its balance, fell backwards, breaking its legs in the process. Now it was writhing in pain.
"You can kiss and thank your boyfriend for the assistance." She stated coldly. "And before you say anything, I know he isn't, as crushing as that fact may be to me."
The Minos ripped itself from its icy shackles and spun its body so it was crawling on its hands. It charged forward, only to be shot in its left eye, making it swing uncontrollably to the left. Another shot was made to the right eye, fully blinding it. Ruby, arriving amidst a flurry of rose petals, stood on the other side of her sister.
"When this is over, we are having a long talk about your behavior, young lady!" For the first time ever, Ruby was scolding somebody. "Right now, let's finish this thing off!"
Ruby made the first strike, using her semblance and her sniper fire to launch her at a high enough speed to cut through the right arm. Weiss followed by summoning a large glacier to land on its head, dazing it. Yang moved in for the final blow, rushing in and uppercutting it in the chin.
"That's for Jaune!"
The blonde in question snuck in underneath and positioned his sword right in the soft spot of the chin. He held it as high as he could. Much to the dismay of the young hunters in training, the Minos started moving again.
"Yang! Punch my sword!" Jaune demanded
"What?"
"Just do it!"
Following his orders, she punched Jaunes' sword forward, leading to the Minos finally keeling over from having its neck sliced open.
Jaune, Yang, Weiss, and Ruby stood before the entire class and Professor Port, awaiting a reaction.
"I wish to speak with you two," he began, pointing at Yang and Jaune, "after class"
As the students started gathering their things for when the bell rings, Yang caught up with Jaune.
"So, um, Jaune," she started, fighting as hard as she could to fight back her blush, "about earlier, before the fight, I mean-"
"Don't worry about it."
"Huh?"
Smiling, he repeated. "Don't worry about it. Ruby told me you have this sort of 'mom mode' when you see stains on a friends' clothes. By the way, is that club soda?"
"Um, yeah, why?"
"My mom uses that for my clothes, too! Guess it's a mom thing!"
"Haha, yeah." Yang then turned to her thoughts. 'Great! Now he thinks I'm a mom! Moms aren't sexy!'
The bell finally rang and the students filed out. Yang and Jaune stayed behind, as they had promised. Ruby tried desperately to stay behind, only to be told to move on to her next class. Weiss had to drag Ruby with her.
"Come on, Ruby, you're buying me a snack from the vending machine while your sister and her boyfriend serve their time together in detention."
Weiss couldn't see it, but Ruby had the most horrified look on her face. Now she couldn't get the thought of Port leaving for some reason, abandoning the two alone. Maybe a chill blows in. Maybe Yang gets chilly and Jaune offers her a hug to warm her up. Tickling follows, and then bam! Yang's a crazy cat lady with her favorite being a black cat name Blake Jr.
The absolute horror of it all.