See CH 1 for disclaimer.
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Jarvis announcing Col. Rhodes' presence startled him out of his reverie; he tucked his letters to Pepper back into the drawer, and moved to greet his friend.
"Hey, I got your message," Rhodey said. "What's up?"
"Come on in," he said, holding open the door.
"Hey man, can I grab a drink?" he asked.
"Sure, help yourself," he answered, disappearing to his bedroom. Finding his shoes in the corner, he sat on the bed and slipped them on, pulled the laces tight.
He found Rhodey in the kitchen, in front of his refrigerator, transfixed.
"I can't believe it," he said. Pulling the picture and magnet off the refrigerator, he held the picture above his head, letting the light shine more evenly through the thin paper.
The technician had printed off several pictures of the baby from the ultrasound she'd performed, had given Pepper a long strip of them. Generously, Pepper had cut two off for Tony. One was in his wallet, and sometimes, when he was alone, he'd pull it out and stare at it. He had two nearly identical pictures of the baby's profile.
Rhodey held the picture in his hand, looked over the top of it at Tony. "You're going to be a father," he said seriously.
"I know, which is why you're here," he replied. Rhodey looked at him, not understanding his meaning. "I need things, for the bambino," he said.
Rhodey held the picture to the refrigerator, and placed the magnet at one corner so none of the baby's face was obscured. He seemed hesitant and sad; he wouldn't meet Tony's eyes. "Pepper is in San Francisco, Tony," he began.
"I know that," he said.
"What do you want to buy?" he asked.
"Everything," he answered.
"Why? Won't you be going there to see him?" Rhodey pointed out.
Tony sighed, and looked away. "She needs to know she can come here, that there is a," he paused, not good with letting anyone in. "Pepper needs to know she can always come here, that there is room for them here," he said. "That I have made room for them both. I never made room for her before, and she needs to know whether she's here or not, there is a space reserved for her always, for them."
Rhodey's smile was filled with compassion. "Let's go shopping."
"What the hell is this?" Tony asked.
Rhodey laughed and said, "I think the lady said it was called a diaper genie. I don't know. She said you'd thank her later."
"I never knew how much crap kids need." They'd shopped for three exhausting hours. His back hurt, there were still bags of baby stuff in his car, and Rhodey was entirely too perky. There were diapers and baby wipes on his couch, and diaper rash cream on his kitchen counter. He was sure he was going insane, he could not rationalize the fact that his home had been invaded by Babies-R-Us; it did not fit with his technology, love of art, his previous playboy nature. He did not know where to put his son's clothes, so he cleared out a drawer in the dresser in his room, and put them there.
"I need to get going, Tony. Can you handle the rest?" Rhodey asked.
Tony was holding a screwdriver in his left hand, and a piece of paper in his right. "Yes," he said, looking down at the paper. "I'm going to put the crib together now." Looking up, he saw Rhodey's head jerk back, as if someone had pushed him. "What? I am an engineer…plus I want to make some modifications to this puppy," he stated seriously, already planning ways to update and mod the bed.
"Tony, you just spent thousands of dollars on baby crap, which is in your house, for a son you're having with Pepper. And now you are talking about putting together a baby crib. I feel like I'm having one of those really weird dreams, and that one of us is going to mysteriously walk into SI naked tomorrow, and then I'll wake up."
Without looking up from his paper, Tony replied, "You naked…that's called a nightmare. And…I don't want all of this to be a dream."
"Tony," Rhodey said softly.
For a baby bed, the directions were surprisingly complicated, Tony thought. It would take him a while to put it together. "Thanks for your help, Rhodey." He looked up and shrugged his shoulders.
"Yeah, sure. Anytime," he said. "Look, are you okay?"
"Um, aside from a little itching, me and my vagina are feeling just fine, thanks."
"Dude, come on. Knock it off. I am serious here. How are you with all of this?"
"I'm fine. I just…I want this. I never would have thought that, ever. But I want it. All of it. And I want Pepper. Here. It's just hard imagining that this may be the reality. Me, by myself, my son hundreds of miles away, only visiting from time to time. And Pepper…I just…I don't know." Not knowing what else to say, he paused, and then finally, "Thanks Jimmy. For everything."
"I'll see you later. And remember…give her time."
Setting the instructions and screwdriver on the counter, Tony grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. Looking at the clock he realized that Pepper would still be up. He pulled the phone from its cradle and paced the kitchen. Finally, he punched the numbers for her phone, not knowing what he would say when she answered.
Three rings later, the phone clicked, and she answered, "Hello."
He was inexplicably nervous. "Hey Pepper," he greeted.
There was a pause on her end, as if she was surprised to hear his voice. "Hey, Tony. What's up?"
"I just wanted to call you, to see how you're doing," he said evenly, glancing at the explosion of baby items.
"Um, okay. You hate the phone Tony. But, I'm fine. Actually, I was just filling out the paperwork for my maternity leave."
He hadn't thought of this; hadn't thought of her waiting at home until her water broke or until she felt that first contraction. For some reason, he pictured her in an office, hair pulled back, managing someone's life, and suddenly she would stand up and discreetly leave, then they would meet at the hospital.
"About that," he tried to keep his voice neutral. "I was wondering if it would be all right if I came up a week before your due date. I wanted to be there when he's born. If you don't want me in the room, I understand, but I wanted to be there, to be able to see him," Tony said.
There was a long silence, but he allowed her time to think over his request. "Yes, of course," she answered after a moment. "And if you want to be there in the room, that's fine," she said.
"Are you sure?" he asked. "I mean, I have already seen you naked and everything. Not something I will ever forget. But I don't want you to feel pressured."
Laughing, she responded, "Yes, Tony. I'd been thinking about it already, but I – well, I'm surprised you brought it up, it caught me a little off guard. But you can be there, I don't mind." Pepper did not want to admit to herself that she wanted him there, that his thoughtfulness had reached inside her heart, and had calmed an ache she'd been refusing to acknowledge.
"I bought some things today, for the baby," Tony said.
Pepper was not sure if Tony's consideration was out of obligation or something else. She was too conflicted to hope it was more than him feeling duty bound to be supportive. "That's nice, Tony. Are you going to bring it with you?"
He was momentarily confused, but realized she thought he meant gifts. "No, I – uh, well Rhodey helped. I bought him a bed, and some other things, so you could visit here, if you ever wanted to."
"Do you want him to visit?" she asked.
Without hesitation, he answered, "Yes."
"Tony, I certainly don't mind him visiting you there, but while he's small, I won't be able to leave him, because of…you know," she lowered her voice, "I'm planning to breastfeed," she whispered.
Tony pushed the baby bed instructions around on the countertop. "I wanted you both to visit," he replied honestly.
Pepper felt overwhelmed, she didn't want to be vulnerable to Tony again; she had not expected his kindness. "Sure," she said. "Listen, I need to run. Let me know when you are coming in and I'll pick you up," she offered.
"I'll have Jarvis keep you updated."
"Bye," she said quickly.
"Goodnight," he said.
For a moment she didn't understand, but then the memory caught up with her, and she didn't know what to do with it, so she hung up the phone as gently as she could.
Leaning on the doorjamb, Rhodey asked, "When will you be back?"
Tony finished directing Jarvis before answering, "I am thinking two weeks. And I am bringing them both back here with me. Whether Pepper likes it or not."
"Good luck with that…"
"Yeah, thanks. So…Fury showed up in my shop the other day. Asked what was going on."
"What did you tell him?"
"That it was personal. I'll tell him and the rest of the team when I get back. Shit, he probably knows anyway."
"You know, first babies tend to come right on time or late, it may be longer than two weeks," Rhodey informed him.
"Wow. Thanks. Does that come from personal experience birthing your own? Yes, I know, and if she's overdue, then I'll be back in three weeks. I own the damn company, I can do what I want," he said.
The phone rang, and he answered, "Go for Iron Man..."
"Tony?"
"Pepper?"
Rhodey looked up and was going to leave when Tony held up a hand indicating he could stay.
When Pepper didn't immediately say anything else, Tony asked, "Is everything okay?"
She sounded tired, but there was something else in her voice. "I've been sick again –"
"Are you in the hospital?" Tony and Rhodey exchanged worried glances, and Rhodey moved closer to Tony.
"Yes, but –"
"I'm on my way," Tony said.
"Tony, wait," Pepper interjected. "I was really sick, and all the vomiting caused me to dilate. I was only a week away from my due date. I went in to the office to see Dr. Russell and when she checked me I was 5 cm. By the time they waked me over to the labor unit I was 8cm. I had him within 10 minutes of getting in the room. It was all so fast," she paused, and Tony sat heavily in his chair.
"Tony?" Rhodey questioned authoritatively, and he could tell he was already in motion, ready to do whatever he needed.
"Is he all right?" Tony asked. "Are you all right?"
"He's perfect, Tony. He's absolutely perfect and so beautiful." Pepper couldn't help but feel as though she had let him down. She was overjoyed holding her son, but she could hear the disappointment in Tony's voice, and she didn't know how to deal with the contrast. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm sorry it didn't work out for you to be here."
"No, Pepper," Tony said immediately. "I…It's okay, I'm just glad both of you are all right. That's all that matters. I'll suit up and be there within a half an hour."
"We'll be waiting," she said softly.
Tony hung up the phone and brought his hands to his face.
Rhodey was almost afraid to ask, but pressed on, "What happened?"
With forced nonchalance, Tony answered, "That was Pepper, she was sick again which apparently can induce labor. She had him a little while ago," he said adding, "I missed it, I wasn't there."
"I'm sorry, Tony," he said moving toward him.
He held up a hand to stop him, he did not want to be comforted. "I'm going to grab a few more things, and then I'm leaving. I…I was flying out tomorrow, Rhodey. I –"
"It's okay, man. What matters is that you're going to be there now," he said.
Tony closed his eyes against the onslaught of emotion.
Rhodey waited for Tony to begin moving, to gather his things and run out the door. When he didn't, he asked, "What is it?"
It was a long time before he answered.
"I forgot to ask what she named him."