The school bell rang when the second period came to an end. People hastily moved around the class as they tried to squeeze as much time as they could while they waited for the teacher to arrive; and it being the math's teacher they were definitely getting more than just a few minutes. A few conversations that had started before the bell rang now went full volume, other students moved up from their seats to spark new ones.
Sayaka would have usually gotten up and walked towards Madoka's seat during these times. Now though? She knew she could get some extra time by directly walking towards Homura herself; Madoka would end up over there in a minute anyways.
Kyouko apparently had the same idea, the redhead already up from her seat and walking towards Homura by the time that Sayaka had gotten up. Sayaka subconsciously walked a bit faster just to reach the other girl's seat at the same time as Kyouko, a bit of a glare being directed their way when they finally were by Homura's seat.
"Is there anything that you two need?" asked Homura in her usual cold dismissive voice, the girl not looking at them.
"Pfff, many things now that you ask" started Kyouko with a slightly mocking tone "Money, more food, something for my back pain"
Homura looked at the redhead with a side glare and a raised eyebrow, her curiosity getting the better out of her.
"Back pain?" she asked in the same tone an indifferent doctor would.
"Yeah, from carrying your relationship" grinned Kyouko with the smuggest of grins she could muster, the girl joyful that Homura had taken the bait so easily.
Sayaka tried to stifle a laugh, though her efforts were thrown out of the window when Homura rolled her eyes at Kyouko's words; the rare sight of an annoyed expression on Homura's face being enough to finally break her and for the laugh to come out. Sayaka's laugh pushed Kyouko to try and keep teasing Homura for a bit longer, but as the girl opened her mouth to keep teasing Homura, a pink haired head popped up between them.
"What are you three talking about?" asked Madoka, the short girl looking even smaller than usual when she stood between Kyouko and Sayaka.
"Nothing, Nothing." Dismissed Kyouko with a wave of her hand, the smug smirk that still was plastered all over her face betraying her words.
"Just friendly talk in here, right Homura?" asked Sayaka as she tried to recover from her previous laugh.
Homura looked at her with her usual cold poker face for a second before facing Madoka, her expression slightly softening as she did so.
"Yes, they are just acting like they usually do" said Homura, leaving more than a few words that would make Madoka mad at both them and Homura unsaid.
Madoka looked at Homura for a second with a measuring gaze before turning towards Kyouko and Sayaka, a slightly suspicious look on her eyes observing them with meticulous care.
Though the girl's expression quickly changed into a more tired one; Madoka decided to dismiss the whole thing, not really finding the energy to push the matter further.
"Madoka? Are you okay?" asked Sayaka, her friend's dismissal catching her off guard.
"Yeah, everything is fine" said Madoka with what felt like a forced smile on her face.
A small moment of silence flew around them after Madoka's words, everyone not really sure about whether they should push the matter or not; Everyone except Homura, who simply looked out of the window, the girl not even facing the group. Sayaka would have been angry at the girl for not even looking at Madoka when the girl was clearly feeling down, but then realized how the girl nervously tapped her foot against the floor in a hasty rythm.
"Tsk…" Kyouko clicked her tongue, the girl shifted around her bodyweight as if it would take care of the awkward air around them "Why don't you guys say something, what you did yesterday or whatever"
Sayaka grimaced at the horrible attempt at conversation, but at least was graceful for someone to finally say something; that was already more than what she would have been able to do.
"Well…" started to speak Sayaka, seeing as how Madoka wasn't answering yet and how there was no way that Homura would have spoken first "Was busy with homework the whole day-"
"Homework?" remarked Kyouko, a teasing expression appearing on her face "I remember coming home to you playing Monster Hunter though, or was grinding a new armor set your homework?"
Ah, so we are doing this.
"That's because I finished it before you came home!" Sayaka turned towards Kyouko aggressively, which in turn made it so Madoka had to take a step back to get away from the conflict that sparked between the two.
"I don't know… Sounds like an excuse" said Kyouko as she tried to keep fanning the flames, the girl clearly more interested in having a small argument than having to deal with uncomfortable silences.
Sayaka held her eyes locked on the smirking Kyouko, the fiery red haired girl waiting for a response from her. One that would keep the argument going if possible. That's how they usually did it. Start a small argument that can keep everyone entertained without having to think about other problems they might have. It usually helped to lift the mood after all.
"Well, at least I did some homework!" said Sayaka, theatrically puffing her chest in pride "I don't remember seeing you pick up a book since exam season!"
Kyouko sighed as she shook her head, the girl's cocky smile not going away; the girl talked with the smuggest tone she could muster "Unlike you and your small brain, I can just cram it all the day before the test"
Sayaka imitated the girl's smug smile, giving her a side glare not unlike that of an evil step mom in a children's book. "Sure, sure. Don't come crying for help when you can't understand something then"
"HAH!" Kyouko exaggeratedly burst out "As if I would ask you for help with school" Kyouko pointed towards Homura, the other girl that had remained what seemed like uninterested in the conversation raising an eyebrow "Homu here got me for that kinda stuff, right?"
"I am not your personal tutor" Homura made a small pause as she tried to completely process what Kyouko had said, her expression slightly frowned after a second "And don't call me that"
Kyouko placed a hand in the girl's shoulders, a defiant smile on her face as she spoke.
"It's either Homu or Emo Girl, you choose"
Homura looked at Kyouko for a few seconds before her eyes moved back to the window she had been looking at, the girl's eyes fixed on the flowerless cherry blossom tree "Do whatever you want" she said in a voice more distant than usual.
Sayaka and Kyouko looked at Madoka with a questioning look only to get an apologetic smile and a small head shake.
"She's been a bit out of it today" simply explained Madoka, a small worried smile on her face.
"I'm fine" said Homura, still looking out of the window; though Sayaka was more than sure than the girl looked at them through the reflections on the glass.
"So she says" sighed Madoka.
The conversation flame that they had been trying to fan died down until not even embers remained, the group once again drowned in silence for what felt like minutes but probably were just seconds.
Sayaka could see how Kyouko pulled out a small tube full of chocolate candy out of one of her skirt pockets, the girl anxiously eating the whole tube in just one go. Meanwhile, Madoka almost moved closer to Homura a few times, the girl stopped whenever she noticed what she was doing though a wave of sadness and impotence washing the girl's spirit away. Homura seemed like the only one that was acting like usual, except for how she was constantly twirling a strand of hair between her fingers and the occasional glances towards Madoka that she tried to sneak in; more worried and thoughtful looks than saddened ones.
Sayaka herself…
She just wanted to find a way to fix this. It really seemed like things wouldn't go back to normal for as long as the rumors were running wild, and no attempt at trying to forget about it would work when Madoka and Homura had to force themselves to be so distant with each other all the time.
The whole ordeal just made her angry. It made her want to punch someone. She couldn't find a culprit, so she couldn't just unload her anger onto whoever had fucked everything up. There was no 'villain' and it just made things worse. Because that meant that there was no clear answer to their problems. No clear objective to pursue so they could fix things.
At least she really hoped that trying to make Homura more independent would help to take a load off of their relationship. Anything that could make Madoka have to worry about one less thing would be a win in Sayaka's book.
Might as well ask her about getting together this Friday now, right?
"By the way Homura" started speaking Sayaka, everyone's attention now turned towards her except for the girl in question. "Homura?"
"I'm listening" said Homura eyes still unfocused in the distance.
"No you aren't, look here" insisted Sayaka, the girl had worked herself up a bit as she thought about the rumors; her bravado showing more than she really wanted it to.
Still, it seemed to work. Homura sighed before she turned towards Sayaka, her gaze the fullest of emotion she had ever seen it like.
Pure annoyance, impatience, and probably some hatred was what she saw in the girl's eyes, but it was better than the nothingness she usually carried. It made her feel more human than usual.
"Want to come hang out with me and Kyouko this Friday? Kyouko got a day off" Sayaka asked in as a disinterested manner as possible. With some luck Homura wouldn't count this as the use of their free 'do what we want' coupon. Who knows, maybe the girl would accept out of her own voliti-
"No." said Homura before she turned back to the window once again.
Sayaka's eye twitched at the quick and disrespectful quick reply. The girl having to do a lot to properly control herself and not just jump the gun, there was no point in getting angry with Homura if even Madoka had said that she was out of it.
"C'mon! We'll have fun!" said Sayaka as she bent forwards over Homura's desk so she could get a look at the girl's face "Just the three of us! We can even go wherever you want!"
"The three of us? Madoka isn't coming?" asked Homura, though her tone clearly showed she already knew the answer and only irked Sayaka a bit more.
"Well, no. That's not part of the plan" Sayaka looked back at Madoka, the other girl curiously looking at them "Don't get me wrong, I love hanging out with Madoka, but you will be focused on her all the time if she comes"
"If Madoka isn't coming I have no reason to go" declared Homura, leaving her ultimatum on the table without even looking Sayaka in the eye.
"I don't mind" said Madoka from behind them.
"I do" refuted Homura.
"It would be nice if you talked a bit more with everyone else, Homura-chan" added Madoka, the girl now being part of the conversation made Homura turn to face them all.
"Yeah! That!" added Sayaka as she stopped leaning on Homura's table, hand now on her waist.
Homura thought for a few seconds, the girl's eyes fixed on Madoka "I will take that into consideration from now on" finally answered Homura.
Madoka looked at her with a tired expression before letting out a disappointed sigh.
"It wasn't an order…" awkwardly chuckled Madoka, a bit of a pained expression at how Homura had treated her request.
"Bah, this is pointless" snapped Kyouko "I will use the 'do whatever I want' coupon this Friday for you to come with us, can't refuse now can you?"
Homura looked at her for a second with a defiant glare before her gaze slowly shifted towards Madoka in a more forced neutral expression than normal. Finally she let go after a second of thinking.
"I guess there is no other choice"
"Nope, you are ours now" joked Kyouko before facing Madoka "Sorry Pinky, we have to steal her for a day for some stuff"
"Treat her well~"
"We will take care of her" added Sayaka, looking over to Kyouko with a teasing smile "I already have experience taking care of strays so don't worry!"
"Oi" complained Kyouko, her expression changing into an incredulous one at Sayaka's words.
The poorly lit streets around Sayaka's apartment were almost completely empty save for a few cars that passed by from time to time. Kyouko walked with carefree steps down the street, the girl whistled one of the classical songs that Sayaka would often hear to; not really knowing which one it was she simply whistled by memory, probably mixing more than one song as she went on.
Kyouko pulled out her phone. The clock, showing a bit less than half an hour left until midnight, welcomed her before she unlocked it. An unread message from over half an hour ago from Sayaka laid in her notification tray, the girl had already read it but didn't open it out of laziness. It was just a message letting her know that Sayaka's dad had already left for a work trip once again, a shame that Kyouko couldn't have said goodbye in person but she had had to work a night shift to get tomorrow Friday free.
Kyouko reached the apartment building, the girl opened her bag and started to search for the keycard before she let out a long sigh. A beep from the card reader letting her know that the doors had been unlocked.
She wanted to help Homura and Madoka, that much she was sure of. They needed it, even more with how the situation had turned out… but…
These past weeks had just been about those two, and it kind of annoyed her a bit. She couldn't talk with Sayaka without Madoka and Homura eventually coming up, be it to worry about them or to simply talk about how they thought they were doing. Mainly about Homura's problem of self-worth.
Hell, she was doing it right now. Instead of think about Sayaka and herself she defaulted to the other two instantly.
When she got home yesterday the only thing they talked about was what they were going to do tomorrow to try and get Homura to think about herself. She didn't even really know what Sayaka had been up to these past few days. They hadn't done anything together lately, they hadn't talked, they just… tried to come up with plans together.
Even during the festival it all felt like they were all focusing on Homura and Madoka.
Kyouko pushed the elevator button, the automatic doors opening slowly to let her go in. She pressed the third floor button and watched as the doors closed; a small unnatural breeze of air pulling into the elevator before the doors closed completely.
"Fucking hell…" whispered Kyouko, the sudden drop in temperature making her shiver.
And there wasn't going to be much time to talk with Sayaka today either. With how late she had come home the girl was probably either sleeping already or getting ready to do so. Kyouko would eat something quick for dinner and then just go to sleep herself. Maybe play a game before if she felt like it.
The doors opened with a ding, the long narrow hall welcoming her with empty white walls that didn't help to get rid of the feeling that she was being watched. Her eyes wandered to the edges of her vision whenever she thought she saw something move, only to see that it was – thankfully – her imagination and nothing more.
Kyouko finally reached the door to their apartment, nervously she opened the door as a sense of dread started to creep up in her mind.
The door opened.
Kyouko jumped inside and quickly closed the door behind, her imagination sending her images of horrors that were behind it.
"Kyouko?" called Sayaka from the living room, the girl apparently still awake.
"I'm home" Kyouko answered, her heartbeat about to calm down…
And then her brain decided to remind her that the voice could be from someone… something else than Sayaka and that it was a trap…
Kyouko carefully walked towards the living room, heart in hand. She turned the corner…
And Sayaka was lazily laying down on the sofa, phone in her hand as the girl watched some funny videos on it.
Kyouko let out a sigh, cursed her brain for psyching her out, and walked towards the kitchen.
"How was work today?" asked Sayaka, eyes still on her phone.
"Meh, as usual" answered Kyouko, her heartbeat slowly calming down and her alertness going down "Night shifts aren't that bad during Thursdays. Fridays can become a problem with overtime workers coming for food or energy drinks though"
Kyouko carefully opened the fridge, two plates of curry that she didn't remember making inside of it. Her brow furrowed.
"Did you make curry?"
"Yeah" answered Sayaka, the noise the sofa made letting Kyouko know that the girl had gotten up.
"Guessing you made too much?" wondered Kyouko as she turned around.
Sayaka walked into the kitchen with long striding steps until she reached the cutlery drawer, the girl hesitated for a few seconds before she opened the drawer and pulled out two forks.
"Well… not really" she said, an embarrassed expression on her face that the girl tried to fight back "I was just waiting for you to come"
"Hah?" was the only thing that Kyouko could say in her confusion "Why?"
Sayaka opened and closed her mouth to answer, no words coming out as a slight blush appeared on her face. The girl tried to hide her embarrassment by picking up two glasses and walked towards the living room.
"L-look I just didn't want to eat alone!" Sayaka tried to defend herself "And since you were going to come late, I didn't want to have you cook something at these hours!"
Kyouko looked as the girl left the room, a smile plastered all over her face as she turned to the fridge and took out the plates of curry to heat them up.
Maybe things weren't so bad after all.
The first few rays of sunshine were able to pierce through the curtains, the still soft caramel light heralding a new day in this world that Homura had built for the person she could only ever care about.
Said person laid in front of her, the girl still peacefully slept with one of her arms draped over Homura's waist. Her faint gentle breathing being enough to calm Homura's mind to a point that she had not needed to think of anything throughout most of the night. There had been no dreams, no memories, no nightmares today. Madoka had been able to sleep soundly throughout the whole night as if everything was okay without the meddling of Homura's magic.
Yet the calm night had not been something that Homura had enjoyed, her mind sometimes wondering towards the words that Devil had said and how true they were. How the possibility of Madoka recovering her memories sooner than she would like was just one silly mistake away from taking everything away.
She knew that keeping an eye on Madoka to make sure she didn't remember a thing was a nigh impossible task. There would be inevitably moments in which Homura wouldn't be able to follow the girl. Moments that could end with everything she had built for Madoka in one fell swoop.
The words of the Devil rang true in her ears, the simplest solution just one simple step away from her reach.
To stop holding back.
To let the same desires that had built this world be released upon it, to fully take control of the reins of reality and seam any cracks that would appear from her blatant disregard of the laws of the universe.
To accept what she had become. To embrace the meaning of what being the love fueled devil meant. To stop trying to resist this enemy she had created herself.
Disassociating truly was a scary thing she had gotten better and better at throughout her time in the loops. One that had helped in some cases, thought it mostly helped her make mistakes.
Her newfound powers only made said skill even more troublesome, being able to part her own sense of self into two had been something she wouldn't have ever expected to be able to do. To simply take a part as important as her passion for Madoka was and throw it into a cage in her mind, just so she could have the strength required to leave her dearest behind and become the concept that she was supposed to be.
Yet she had failed.
Her burning passion, stronger than any flame that had ever burnt, withstood the very powers that bent reality to its will. The crackling embers fanned back to life by the stubborn goddess, an ever soaring flame left in its stead that if left unchecked could easily burn the stars that composed the sky.
Her love burned her soul once again. Every minute she passed with Madoka. Every moment they spent together. Every new memory that they shared. All of it only made it stronger.
Her love that was supposed to define her existence, the love that she had rejected to fulfill her mission, now had become its own entity. Stronger than ever before it resurfaced in the form of the Devil, a phoenix that burned with dark passionate flames that could easily topple everything if it was ever left out of its cage.
A love that she would have to accept if she wanted to protect Madoka until the bitter end. Even if said love would burn everything it touched, even if it would render all into ashes in the end. Homura would reclaim such flame for herself once more if that meant she could protect Madoka for just one more day.
Even if holding such flame in her hands would burn her to the bone, she would take the pain for herself. She wouldn't drop the flame and let it burn by itself on the safety of the ground, for someone else would end up burning themselves with it.
Homura had a goal. A mission to accomplish. A promise of a normal life to fulfill to the person that meant everything to her.
And she would do anything she needed to in order to accomplish it.
"Mhmnn…" Madoka mumbled still half asleep, the warm sunlight that hit her back slowly bringing her back into the waking world.
Homura slowly moved her hand towards the girl's face, her fingers carefully parting away a few wild strands of hair that threatened to wake the girl up. Yet her movements were not careful enough, Madoka's eyes slowly began to open.
"Homura-chan…" she muttered, the sleepy face of the girl somehow warming Homura's dead heart more than the soaring flame of the Devil ever could.
Madoka muttered unfinished words, her mind still having to catch up to the real world. The nonsense that the girl tried to speak managed to put a smile on Homura's face.
"Did I wake you up?" whispered Homura.
"No…" quietly denied Madoka, the girl hesitated for a second with wide eyes before she pulled closer to Homura so she could bury her face in the girl's chest "…you didn't"
The small hesitation that had been clearly apparent was more than enough to let Homura know what the girl had remembered without need for magic. Homura affectionally placed her arm around Madoka, carefully pulling the girl a bit closer to her as she used a bit of magic to throw the surging memories about the rumors to the back of the girl's mind. Madoka shouldn't have to think about such problems while they weren't at school.
"There are still forty-seven minutes until the alarm goes off" warmly whispered Homura into the girl's ear, her voice trying to lull the girl back to sleep as she gently caressed Madoka's hair like how she had done for Homura in the past. "you can go back to sleep"
"Nnnnn…" Madoka purred before burying herself deeper into Homura, her ruffled pink hair tickling Homura's nose as she did so "… I won't have you this afternoon you know, so I kinda want to stay like this for a bit longer…"
"I can simply refuse going with them today if you want" whispered Homura.
"That's not good, Homura-chan" said Madoka as her arm tightened around the girl "You promised them"
"I wouldn't complain had they not excluded you" complained Homura, as much as she knew why the other pair wanted Madoka not come she still disagreed with it.
She disagreed even with their purpose for the day, an useless endeavor is what it was. There was no reason for her to waste her time on anything that wasn't Madoka.
"I'm sure they have their reasons…" muttered Madoka.
The girl's face turned upwards until it met Homura's. Her stunning rose quartz eyes looked at Homura with gentle love and pure sincerity that only someone such as Madoka could ever accomplish.
"Still, I don't like it." complained Homura once more, a soft smile able to find its place in her face as she lost herself in Madoka's eyes.
"Would me being there make it better?" asked Madoka in a playful tone, her half-asleep state only making her voice sound cuter.
"Yes, greatly" Homura quickly answered without even having to think, the answer to such question having already been decided long ago "Everything is better with you"
Homura's focus on the girl's eyes only wavered when she noticed the cheerful loving smile that appeared on Madoka's lips. Madoka gently closed the gap between them, their lips connecting for a short caring kiss that threw more fuel into the passionate flame that was her love and devotion to the girl.
"You are too cute" whispered Madoka before going back to the nice spot she had found between Homura's neck and chest, the girl nuzzled around until she was comfortable "You make me want to stay… like this… forever…"
Madoka's voice started to trail off as the warm promise of dreams called for the now comfy girl.
Homura observed as the girl slowly fell asleep, her eyes moving away from the top of Madoka's head just to end up fixed in the window that was behind the girl. Her hand still caressed Madoka's hair in the same loving motion as before, a calming gesture that Madoka seemed to enjoy even when asleep.
"Me too" quietly whispered Homura to herself, her voice far too silent to be heard. Her gaze met her own reflection, blood amethyst eyes looking back at her with determination.
Current date: Friday, 30th of May.
A/N:
I'm alive you all.
Sorry for the delay, lot of stuff got together with a chapter that was already giving me problems to write and I wasn't able to write something that I liked. This is the third re-write of the chapter, and finally got something I think is acceptable.