In which Joe and Patrick become bros for life,

And Joe asks the most gorgeous boy this side of Olympus

To punch him in the face.

Joe's eyes were fluttering. Fucking finally. Patrick Stump (son of Apollo, in case you didn't know) had been at his bedside for two days now, and to be quite honest he had started to become unsure as to whether the kid ever would wake up. He smiled and leaned over Joe, seeing if he was fully awake. Suddenly the thirteen year old sat up, hitting Patrick in the forehead with his nose.

His curly afro-like hair was unruly and sticking out in all possible directions, practically defying gravity. "I'm so so sorry fuck dude I didn't mean to I'm so sorry are you ok?" were the first words that Patrick heard come out of Joe's mouth. "Yeah, I'm okay, but the real question is, are you okay? You fell pretty hard, dude. You're really lucky Andy was here to catch you, otherwise I'm pretty sure you'd have a lot more than a few bruises and a sprained wrist." Patrick let out a small chuckle at that, and glanced towards the door of what Joe assumed was the infirmary. "Well, it looks as if your designated tour guide decided to stay in emo Elysium this morning, so I'm going to have to do it, I suppose."

Patrick groaned as he dragged himself out of his chair. "Wait!" exclaimed Joe, "I don't know who you are, where I am or why I'm here. I need some fucking answers."

"I'm Patrick Stump, son of Apollo, and the rest I'm going to explain to you when you get your ass out of that bed and let me show you your new home." As an afterthought, he added under his breath, "and I thought Pete was the laziest person I've ever met"

"Hey! I'm not that lazy!" Joe retaliated. Son of Apollo? What does that mean?

As Joe and Patrick stepped outside, Joe was almost blinded by the sunshine. This was nothing like Manhattan. The next thing that caught his eye were the cabins, arranged in a the shape of a U. there looked to be about 20, maybe more, maybe less. "So, those are the cabins. It is decided which cabin you will be in according to your godly parent-"

"Okay, stop. Godly parent? My mom is an artist and my dad, I never knew my dad. He wasn't a god! That's impossible! They don't exist!" at that moment, the perfectly clear sky let out a rumble. "I would be careful what you say, Joe. Our parents don't take kindly to not being believed in."

"Who are they, fucking tinkerbell?"

"No, Joe. They're the Greek gods. Like I said, my father is Apollo, and judging from what you did with the water there, yours is Poseidon."

"Okay. Okay Patrick, I'm prepared to believe you, but it's a little bit of a shock."

Patrick smirked. "Tinkerbell. Of all things Joe. Fucking tinkerbell"

Patrick introduced Joe to Frank Iero, son of Ares, And his boyfriend Gerard Way, son of Aphrodite, who took them to the lake and introduced them to Halsey, a 400 year old Niaid, her girlfriend Sarah, 450, also a dryad, and Gerard's brothers Will and Mikey. (Will on the Godly side, Mikey, strangely, on the mortal side.) It's pretty rare to have two demigods from the same nuclear family, but then, these kids deal in stranger things all the time so… it was mostly just looked over.

By the end of the tour Joe's head was (no pun intended) swimming with names, and he could hardly remember his own by late afternoon.

That evening, in the dining pavilion, a third member joined Joe and Patrick at the otherwise empty Poseidon table. He was the most attractive guy Joe had ever seen. And he was shirtless. "Hey, I'm Andy." He said, sticking his hand out for Joe to shake. As Joe took it, he said, "I'm the guy who caught you when you fell off that wave. Your hair looks like shit when you sleep. Otherwise, though, it's quite cute" At that, Joe's jaw dropped, and his mind went blank. "Fuck, punch me in the face." He whispered.

"Dude, what?" asked Andy (aka the sun (at least in Joe's mind)). And that is how Joe Trohman promptly died.