Unanswered Past

by DianneRose2016

Some spoilers for season 5 and ending of season 4. Let me just get that out of the way. I started this story two months ago and now I am going to post it. Deeks is dealing with the torture and coming back to NCIS. His past gets dragged up for the start of a new case. A case that will put Sam and Deeks as partners again. Summary inside plus warnings.

5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Sam, Callen, Kensi, Deeks and Hetty arrived back at the mission so they could get to work on this new operation. Kensi was pissed that Deeks was being forced to go undercover when even he himself said he wasn't ready for it. Hetty went to her office so she could speak to Nate about Sam and Deeks. Sam and Callen went upstairs to speak with Eric and Nell about backstopping a new alias. Kensi was about to follow when she saw Deeks going down the hallway to the locker rooms.

"I'll be up in a minute." Kensi said to Sam and Callen before she went after Deeks.

Sam and Callen continued on upstairs, but they would wait for Deeks to come up before they got into the alias. Deeks would have a better understanding and idea for what the alias would need. Sam and Callen went up the stairs and could see Eric and Nell worried about what had just happened.

"Is everyone okay?" Eric asked once he saw Sam and Callen.

"Everyone is fine. A lot of police were injured, but we're all fine." Sam said.

"It's all over the news and we've been monitoring traffic of 9-1-1 calls and the numbers have already doubled throughout the city." Nell said.

"Are police responding?" Callen asked.

"They are, but they are taking longer to respond. They must not be ready just yet for this." Eric said.

"They just found out that all of the local gangs are declaring war against them. It's going to be crazy and disorganized for a few hours while everyone gets called in and situated." Sam said.

"Monitor the calls and see which ones are ambushes as which ones are real. See if any of the same numbers come up and we can pass it along. Maybe we can help keep a few officers from being killed." Callen said.

"We already are." Nell said.

"What is this going to do for Deeks?" Eric asked.

"The cartel is controlling all of this. Bates doesn't have much of a choice he is putting Deeks undercover as Max Gentry. Max is friends with Scar, one of the runners and he can get into the cartel easily enough." Callen said.

"But Deeks isn't cleared for field duty." Nell said.

"Bates doesn't have a choice. The Chief of police was already on his way and he would have made Deeks go and kicked us off. So Bates is letting us run the show so we can keep an eye on Deeks. I'm also going under with him." Sam said.

"And Deeks is okay with that?" Nell asked.

"Not in the least. He doesn't want to go under and he feels like he isn't ready to go undercover as Max, but he knows he doesn't have a choice. Kensi is talking to him right now. When he gets up here then we can work on Sam's alias. I'm not sure what Deeks is thinking about it." Callen said.

"He's safer with us at least then L.A.P.D" Eric said.

"You need to talk to him before you go under tomorrow." Callen said to Sam.

"I know. I will tonight." Sam said.

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Hetty made her way over to her desk. She didn't see Nate anywhere so when she sat down she called his office phone. When he answered she asked him to come down to speak to her. Hetty really did need to know what Nate thought of not only Deeks going undercover, but with Sam going with him. Hetty knew there was still anger on Deeks' end towards Sam. She was worried that Deeks wouldn't be able to let that go for this operation. If anyone in the cartel thinks that they aren't who they say they are then they will be killed. Hetty didn't want a repeat of three months ago. She wanted them to be safe and be able to work together. Callen and Kensi worked well together. Callen and Deeks worked well together. Kensi and Sam worked well together. The only ones that couldn't seem to work with each other were Sam and Deeks. Hetty needed that to be fixed so she wouldn't have to worry about sending them undercover together. Sam was perfect to send in with Deeks on this operation. Sam had the most military background and training. He would be able to provide any information that the leader of this cartel wanted. He also looked like he was ex-military, where Callen didn't. If this operation was going to happen it had to be Deeks and Sam undercover together. Hetty was hoping that Nate might have an idea to help them get passed all of this.

Nate walked over to Hetty's desk to see what she wanted.

"You called Hetty." Nate said.

"Have you heard about this cartel and war between L.A.P.D and local gangs?" Hetty asked.

"Nell filled me in. She was worried about Marty and him being called in for it." Nate answered.

"Unfortunately Mr. Deeks has to go undercover as Max Gentry for this cartel. This cartel is behind all of this chaos and until they are shut down many lives will be killed. Lieutenant Bates has allowed NCIS to take the lead on this case. So Mr. Deeks and Mr. Hanna will be going undercover tomorrow together to put an end to this cartel. I'm curious as to what you think about that."

"I think it's reckless and dangerous. I understand that this cartel needs to be taken care of, but I don't agree to Marty going undercover, especially with Sam right now."

"What concerns do you have for Mr. Deeks being undercover?"

"Hetty you can't be serious. Physically he's not even healed. His right wrist is still in a brace and firing a gun could potentially injure it further. He still has the metal plates in his mouth. He's still on pain medication that is thinning his blood and until he is off the pain medication he can't be on the proper medication he needs to help his blood clot. By being in the field and undercover as Max Gentry he's at a greater risk of being stabbed or shot. If that happened he could bleed out before he even got to the hospital. His jaw is like glass and still very painful, he's still covered in bruises. That's just the physical problems. Mentally and emotionally he's a complete wreck. He still has flashbacks, not as often or severe, but they are still there. He has anxiety attacks when he's surrounded by people he doesn't know. He still gets nightmares and is only sleeping a few days a week. He doesn't go out during busy hours at stores, he waits until they are almost closed to get groceries. Combine all of that with his anger and problems with Sam. Hetty I stand by my original decision that Marty is not ready for field work of any kind." Nate said with authority in his voice.

"I understand that Mr. Deeks is not in the best mindset. Like I said though, he doesn't have a choice. Mr. Deeks is part of L.A.P.D and if he doesn't go undercover with us then the Chief of Police will force him to go undercover for them. Mr. Deeks will be undercover all alone and without any backup. This was the only compromise that we could come up with. I don't like this anymore than you do or Mr. Deeks does, but it's the only way to keep him safe. I need you to speak to Mr. Hanna and see what is going on with their relationship. Mr. Hanna needs to figure out how to make it right and by tomorrow. I know they won't have a perfect relationship within the next twenty-four hours, but I need them to at least start to work together."

"I'll speak to Sam, but I'm not clearing Marty for this operation. Marty was the one to tell me he wasn't ready for anything more than desk duty. I stand by my decision. If you put him in the field then it will be against my recommendations."

"If the situation was different I would completely agree with you. However, I will not let Mr. Deeks be put undercover for L.A.P.D all alone. Once this operation is complete he will be going right back to desk duty until he has your clearance. While this operation is going on I will need your help with Mr. Deeks and Mr. Hanna. They both will be placed in safe houses and you will still be able to visit them."

"I'll do this, but only because of Marty. Someone needs to put him first before everyone else. I'll do this for him." Nate said.

"Thank-you Mr. Getz. I know you are upset about this and if the situation was different I would not let Mr. Deeks go undercover. You know how serious this situation is. Until this cartel is shut down the whole city will be in chaos. I don't like this anymore than you do. I just want them both back home and safe."

"This is a bad idea, but I'll speak with Sam and get him to start to repair the damage he has done. I'll be keeping a close eye on Marty."

"I know you will. Let's go upstairs so you can hear the operation and the plan. We don't have much time to set it up." Hetty said as she got up.

Nate followed Hetty upstairs to the Ops room. He was not happy at all that Deeks was going undercover especially as Max Gentry and even more so with Sam. Nate trusted Sam and he knew that Sam would keep Deeks safe and do his job. That wasn't Nate's problem. His problem was that Deeks was not Sam's biggest fan right now. Deeks was very hurt by what Sam has said and done in the past three years and now he wasn't going to hide it anymore. Deeks was upset and hurt and he was not ready for any of this. Nate was very worried about how Deeks would handle everything and if he would even be able to complete this operation. All it would take was just one flashback and they could be made. They went upstairs and saw that Deeks and Kensi were not up there yet.

"Where are Miss. Blye and Mr. Deeks?" Hetty asked.

"They aren't here yet. Kensi went to speak to Deeks." Callen said.

"We're just waiting for Deeks so we can figure out an alias." Sam said.

"Well while we wait let's catch Mr. Getz up to speed then shall we." Hetty said.

Callen began to explain what they knew so far about the cartel while they waited for Deeks and Kensi to come up to join them.

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Deeks needed a minute alone so he went into the locker room so he could try and get his head on straight before he went up to Ops. He couldn't believe that he was being forced to go undercover as Max Gentry. He wasn't ready for this and he knew he wasn't ready for this. Deeks was trying to best to catch his breath and to try and stop the panic attack that he could feel coming up. Deeks was standing and had his hands on the lockers with his head down trying to catch his breath. He just needed to focus and he would be able to stop the panic attack. He was fine in the moment, but now that the adrenaline had worn off everything was hitting him. Deeks heard the locker room door open and he knew that it would be Kensi. He heard it close and then footsteps. He looked up and saw that Kensi was standing beside him. She had worry etched all over her face.

"Deeks?"

"Talk about something." Deeks said with a soft voice.

Kensi had seen Deeks have a few panic attacks over the last twelve weeks. Talking always seemed to help him get over the panic attack and even stop it before it truly began.

"I was thinking about getting a puppy. I thought it might be nice for Monty to have a friend he could play with and teach all of his bad habits to. But puppies are a lot of work and time. What do I do with a puppy while I'm here at work? I don't want Monty to be jealous that I have a puppy. I don't want him to think I don't love him as much as I do. I'm not really a pet person ya know? Even growing up I never had a pet. I had fish, but they always died. Same with plants. I cannot keep a plant alive to save my soul." Kensi said lightly trying to get Deeks' mind to focus on something else.

"You'd have to clean your apartment if you got a puppy." Deeks said.

"Oh see then I'm definitely not getting a puppy. I couldn't stand living in a completely clean house. I don't know how you do it. Every time I'm at your place I just want to throw things around to mess it up."

Deeks let out a small chuckle as he pushed himself away from the locker and started to pace around slightly.

"That's because you are a hoarder. It's an actual psychological issue. You should talk to Nate about that."

"Ya you should talk to Nate about your OCD." Kensi joked back.

"I'm not OCD, I'm clean. Okay I'm a little OCD, but that's better than being a hoarder."

"I'm not a hoarder." Kensi said with a smile.

"First step to decluttering your life is to declutter your home."

"My life isn't cluttered. Why are you so picky about your house being clean anyways?" Kensi asked. She actually was curious as to why Deeks was such a clean freak.

Deeks let out a deep breath and then sat down on the bench with one leg on each side looking at Kensi. Kensi sat down the same way facing Deeks.

"Growing up the house was always dirty. I would clean it, but there really was no point within two hours it was a mess all over again. I would always hide in my room and I would clean, because that's the only form of power I had. I could clean my room and keep it any way I want it, it was mine. It was the only control in my life that I had and it always stuck with me. So now twenty-two years later the only constant control in my life is cleaning. So my house and my desks are always clean. I guess that makes me a little OCD, but it's just one of those things from growing up that stuck with me over the years. What about you? Why are you so messy?"

"Kinda the same reason as yours. Except for me growing up with a military father the house was like a museum. This place was so clean you could eat off the floor. To me it always felt cold and lonely. It was a house, but it looked like no one lived there. It's how my father was and when I started to live on my own I cleaned when I wanted to. I wanted it to feel like a home that someone lived there. I have boxes of things from my dad. Things from growing up that I should go through and get rid of, but it's a part of him and I can't help, but think that if I throw it away it's like I'm throwing part of him away. So that's why I hold on to things and why my house is messy."

"Makes sense to me."

"You feeling better?" Kensi asked with concern in her voice.

"Ya I'm fine now. Adrenaline wore off I guess. I know I've done this before. I've done it many, many times before, but right now it just seems like there's so much to do to get ready for this op."

"You haven't gone undercover in a while Deeks. You've gone for a day here and there, but a full undercover operation it's been almost three years. It's a lot to get back into especially as an alias that you hate."

"I don't know if I can do this Kens." Deeks said softly.

"You can do this Deeks. I know you can. You won't be alone. I can't be there with you, but I can come and see you at night. You won't be alone in this Deeks. I'll be here for whenever you need me. Tell me about Max." Kensi said softly back.

"I told you he's just a guy."

"A guy that you created while you were living on the streets. Why didn't you ever tell me Deeks? You knew I lived on the streets, kinda seemed like the perfect time to bring it up."

"My past isn't good. I don't talk about it and I don't need people judging me from it."

"I don't care about your past. I know it was horrible. I met your mother and step-father I know they are horrible people. I know the man that you are today and your past doesn't change that, but it would still be nice to know about it. You know about mine."

"Your past is a lot better than mine."

"I know. I care about you Deeks. Your past truly doesn't mean anything to me or my opinion of you. But I want to know everything about you. Just like you want to know everything about me."

"I'm sure Walker told you a few things."

"Just that you were homeless for four years, but your mother brought that up anyways. Along with a few other things. Walker said if we wanted to know your story to ask you. So I'm asking."

"What things did my mother say?" Deeks asked slightly panicked.

"She didn't say it to us she was arguing with Jason in the room. She said that you were born addicted to heroin. That your father tied you up outside when you were five for three days in a storm to kill you, but it just made you sick. That's all we heard. Sam turned the microphones off so we wouldn't have to listen to it anymore." Kensi said gently making sure to leave out the part about the molestation.

Deeks just gave a distant nod and Kensi knew his mind was trying to process what he had just heard. Kensi knew that Deeks liked to have his private life kept private. There had been a few times when Deeks had told her something, but it was never from growing up. It was usually something to do with L.A.P.D and the operations that he had been on.

"I was terrified of thunderstorms. When I was five one night it was a really bad storm and I was so scared. I went into my parents' room and that was the dumbest mistake I could have made. Dad was drunk, beyond drunk and mom was high as a kite. He said I needed to be taught a lesson so he tied me up outside and they forgot about me for three days while they drank and did heroin. The worst part was the school didn't even notice I wasn't there for three days. The school in my neighborhood was terrible the teachers didn't care. They saw kids all the time with bruises and broken bones and they never even thought twice about it or asked what happened."

"That's horrible. Deeks I'm sorry all of that happened to you. I'm sorry you didn't have a good life growing up. I couldn't imagine going to school and my teachers not even caring."

"It still happens today that's why I'm part of this charity."

"You're a part of a charity? Since when?"

"About eight years now. It's a great charity. They have fundraisers so they can spread information to teachers and students about child abuse. Some kids are being abused and they don't even know it. They grew up with it and thought it was normal. So they help get the information out there to students and teachers. They also built a house just for kids that are being abused. They can go there for a night or longer to get away from it and get help. Some kids will get help and admit to the abuse, but most won't. So this building at least gives them a safe place to be for the night when they need to get away. I like to help out whenever I can."

"That sounds like a great charity. What's it called?"

"Homebase Hope. It is a great charity after this operation is over I should go and see them."

"I'll go with you." Kensi said with a smile.

"I usually bring Monty to the building the kids go crazy over him."

"He's a great dog. Ugly, but great." Kensi joked.

"He's not ugly, he's scruffy. It builds character. One day that dog will save your life."

"Well he's already helped us find a bomb so I believe you. Do you have any siblings?"

"One younger sister. She's in University out in New York. She's doing great."

"What did she go for?"

"Marketing communications management. It's supposed to be the best in NYU so she got student loans and scholarships and she went. I couldn't be more proud of her."

"Is she going to come back after she graduates?"

"She didn't know about leaving when she got accepted. She didn't want to leave me behind. I told her to live her life. To leave and to never look back. I didn't have contact with mom unless she was in jail. My sister, mom called her a lot and would show up at her work begging for money. She just couldn't get a break. She better not come back here and I tell her that every time she calls and feels guilty about leaving. She didn't have it the way I did growing up. They never hit her, but she was still around it; the yelling, the prostitutes and drugs. It didn't screw her up though; it made her want to be out of there faster. She graduated high school when she was sixteen just so she could move out. She went to College here first and lived in the dorms then when she turned eighteen she decided to switch to University. Even when I was kicked out I still went to the house every morning to walk her to school and walk her back home. I did what I could to take care of her and I couldn't be happier that she's out of this city."

"Have you ever visited her?"

"Not yet. She graduates in two years. I promised I would be there for that. I should go sometime this year to see her. I've never been to New York, but I'm not going during winter. I hear snow is cold." Deeks lightly joked.

"You've seriously never been around snow?"

"Never seen it in person. I've always been in L.A. The only time I fly is with you guys."

"Oh we are going on a trip this winter and you are going to see snow." Kensi said with a smile.

"I don't like snow. I don't like the cold."

"Ya you are so going with me somewhere." Kensi smiled.

"The only place we should be going is upstairs. I'm sure they are waiting for us." Deeks said trying to change the subject.

"Oh we are so talking about this later." Kensi said as Deeks got up so he could leave the locker room. Before he left Kensi grabbed his arm gently so she could say one last thing while they were alone. "You can do this. You can text me and call me as much as you want Deeks. I'm here for you no matter what happens."

"I know you are. You're the only thing getting me through all of this." Deeks said back.

"I'll always be here for you."

Kensi gave Deeks a hug and Deeks held her close to him. They had yet to talk or do anything about the kiss, but Deeks didn't care. He knew that she was waiting for him to get better before they had that discussion and Deeks was fine with that. He knew he couldn't handle much more right now, so he was more than happy to wait until they were both ready. After a few minutes Deeks let go.

"We should get up there."

Kensi gave a nod and they left the safety of the locker room and headed upstairs to Ops. When they got upstairs they saw that everyone, including Nate, was there and waiting for them.

"Sorry." Deeks said as him and Kensi went over to join the rest of them.

"You good Deeks?" Callen asked with concern in his voice.

"Ya" Deeks said, but they all knew that wasn't true.

"We just finished updating Mr. Getz on everything that happened and on what we know." Hetty said.

"Nell and I have been monitoring 9-1-1 calls to see what ones are ambushes and to see if the same number comes up. We can pass them along to L.A.P.D to help them out." Eric said.

"Good. Thanks" Deeks said.

"We need to create a new alias for Mr. Hanna, but first I think we should update Mr. Deeks' alias. That won't take as long to sort out." Hetty said.

"Well Max Gentry made that one day appearance with Monica for Granger. Other than that he's been gone for over a year." Eric said.

"We also need to come up with a reason why Max might be a little off. Because I can't guarantee that he won't be a little off." Deeks admitted.

"We also need a reason why Sam and Deeks would be so close." Kensi said.

"Max showed up four months ago, so what about prison? Sam could have been your cellmate. Something could have happened in prison to you and Sam was protective of you. That would explain why the two of you are close and why Max might be having some problems." Callen suggested.

"I could make it so that Max was attacked by a group of inmates and it put you into the hospital for a while. When you went to Waltz club that could be the first night you were released." Eric suggested.

"The attack would have to be pretty big to make it believable." Sam said.

"I can make the incident report say whatever I want." Eric said.

"I think that's our best shot right now. Sam could have been in jail for something and we were in the same cell block." Deeks said.

"Okay, so what were you in jail for?" Eric asked Deeks as he turned to his computer to get working on the documents.

"It has to be something good for the cartel leader to want Max to move up in the company." Deeks said.

"Does Max have previous charges?" Kensi asked.

"Assaults, drug trafficking, possession of illegal chemicals, auto thief, and breaking and entering. Every time I had to go undercover for a different case they just added on the right charges." Deeks said.

"What about some kind of heist? This cartel is planning on stealing something big. It's not too hard to believe that you stepped up from B&E's." Callen said.

"Heist where though? He got caught." Sam said.

"Do a weapons charge and suspected in bank robbery. Max knows a lot of people. So I'm not usually there for the heist, but I can run it and organize it. This guy is hiring out jobs if I can get him to believe I know the right people for this job it might be what we need to shut them down. If I can find out what this job is then we can use NCIS agents to act like they are a criminal team and then we can take them all down." Deeks said.

"So Max just runs the show and finds the right people for the job." Kensi said.

"That could work. That way you've never been caught for running and organizing heists, but you still went to jail. Weapon charge can get you fourteen months." Callen said.

"Okay so we know what to do for Deeks. Now what are we doing for Sam?" Nell asked.

They would need a couple hours to get everything set up for both Deeks and Sam. Nell and Eric needed all the information that they could get so tomorrow Sam and Deeks would be ready to go in.

"Sam met Deeks in jail, but he should be in there longer than Deeks. Deeks was out four months ago. I think Sam should be out just this week." Callen said.

"He's also ex-military so we should do something with that. Maybe he was caught giving out military information or stealing military weapons. Something that will get this leader interested in Sam." Kensi said.

"Why was Sam kicked out of the military?" Deeks asked.

"What about weapon trafficking? Sam could have been a floater around bases. It would explain his knowledge of the bases and where the weapons are. He could have been stealing the weapons and selling them on the streets. He was discharged, but the charges were never proven. The police picked him up right in the middle of a sell. That would get him at least two years with good behaviour." Nate suggested.

"I like that. In the military I was an arms specialist so that would explain all the knowledge of military weapons and why I would bounce around." Sam said.

"Okay we can work with that." Eric said.

"Deeks' alias won't take long to complete, but Sam's will take us a few hours to get set up." Nell said.

"That's fine, take your time. We need this to be perfect." Hetty said.

"When are we going in?" Deeks asked.

"Are you able to contact Daniel Phillip Mr. Deeks?" Hetty asked.

"Phone call, no, but I know where he'll probably be."

"Could you see him tonight?" Callen asked.

"He's usually at this one bar. I could go by tonight and see if he's there." Deeks said.

"I can go with you so we can get the ball rolling." Sam said.

"Do we have anything up to date on Scar?" Deeks asked and completely ignored Sam.

"We do." Nell said as she pulled up the file on Scar and put it on the big screen, including a picture of him.

"Did he get the nickname before or after that scar?" Sam asked.

Scar definitely looked rough. He had brown hair that in the picture was unkempt, dead looking brown eyes and down the left half of his face was a long scar.

"After." Deeks said.

"How did he get the scar?" Kensi asked.

"From me." Deeks said.

"Are you willing to tell the story?" Callen asked Deeks.

"Well as you guys now know I was living on the street at fourteen. I had been there for three months. Ray had been with me that night, because his dad was drunk and getting violent so he left for the night. After I shot my dad the police took the gun so Ray had given me a pocket knife to keep with me just in case. We had been hiding down an alley just waiting until morning when Ray's dad left to go to work so we could go there. Scar came down the alley and started talking about how we were in his territory. He was a part of some local gang. Ray and I didn't want any trouble so we went to leave, but Scar had a different idea. A fight broke out and Ray is older and was bigger than me so he pushed me out of the way. Scar was bigger than Ray and he got into some trouble so I jumped in. At one point I pulled out the knife thinking it would scare him away, it didn't. We started to fight and we ended up on the ground. At one point I swung my arm out to try and get him off from me and I cut him by accident at the same time. That scared him away. Ray and I were freaking out, because we didn't know if the gang would come looking for us. Sure enough the next day Scar shows up with half of his gang."

"Looking for payback." Callen said.

"No actually, they wanted us to join them. Apparently no one on the street fights Scar, because they are too afraid. The leader of the gang, Street Devils, wanted Ray and I to join. We were cautious, but we joined. You lived longer on the street with friends and it was better to be on top then a victim so we joined. Obviously Ray continued on with the gang and other ones after that. I turned eighteen graduated high school and went to law school on a crap load of student loans. I passed the bar and the first thing I did was fight to have my juvi record sealed. Scar apparently just kept bouncing around from gang to gang." Deeks finished.

"And that is exactly what he did. He was with the Street Devils for a good ten years before they got taken over by the Bloods. Scar has been bouncing from then on with different gangs. He's new to Satan's Angels. He has been there for about six months now. He's been in and out of jail his whole life mostly for the usual gang crimes, drugs, assaults and theft." Nell said.

"So we see Scar tonight and get him talking. See if we can get into the cartel and set up a time to meet them." Sam said.

"What about safe houses?" Callen asked.

"Mr. Hanna will be in a safe house in case something happens, than you both can go there. Mr. Deeks, I know Max Gentry's attitude and reputation is a partier so you will be in a different apartment. We will have the apartment wired with cameras and microphones that can be turned off if need be. If you have a party and invite people from the cartel then we can hear everything and see who is there. You will have a remote to be able to turn the mics and cameras off of course. That way you are not being watched twenty-four seven." Hetty said.

"I will also be coming by to see you Marty as this operation goes on. I don't agree with any of this and I am not going to just hope you are alright. You will be seeing me at least once a week until this is over. Once this operation is over you are going right back to desk duty until I clear you for field duty." Nate said.

"Fine by me." Deeks said.

"Now Mr. Beale and Miss Jones will be working on your aliases. I will give you both a key to your new places. I suggest you get some things together so you can take them over and get it ready for tomorrow." Hetty said.

"Sam your alias will be ready by the end of the day so you can read it before you go tonight." Eric said.

"Thanks. When are we going tonight Deeks?"

"Around eleven. Any later and he'll be too drunk to remember anything." Deeks said and he was clearly not happy about Sam going with him.

"What bar?" Callen asked this time.

"Dirty Fifty. It's down on Nixon Ave. Have you ever been a criminal before?" Deeks asked with a slight rudeness to his voice.

"Deeks." Kensi said in a soft warning for him to play nice.

"It's a legitimate question." Deeks said back.

"No I haven't been undercover as a criminal other than in jail." Sam said.

"Then do your research and look the part. Or you'll get us made before we even walk through the door. I suggest you drive down there so you can see what the area is like, because I guarantee you've never been anywhere near that area."

"You do know that when we go undercover you have to act like you like me." Sam said.

"No I don't. Max doesn't like anyone. Especially judgemental jerks so it works out nicely actually." Deeks said.

"How long is this going to go on for Deeks? It's been three months." Sam said slightly annoyed.

"I guess those navy seals only know how to give people crap and not take it." Deeks said back.

"Mr. Deeks while you are waiting for your alias to be updated why don't you go to the new apartment. The key and the remote control for the cameras and microphones are in the cabinet with all the other safe houses. It's tag number five. Get your things together and bring them over. Once you are done you can come back and get your updated alias for tonight." Hetty said.

Deeks didn't say anything he just left the room. Kensi went to go after him when Nate spoke.

"Let him go Kensi. He needs sometime to breathe." Nate said gently to Kensi.

"He's not usually like this." Kensi said in Deeks' defence.

"I know Miss Blye. Mr. Deeks has been through a lot today already and it is only half over." Hetty said.

"How long is he going to keep this up? I get his point I treated him like crap, but it's been three months already. He needs to let this go." Sam said.

"He can't let it go Sam, because there is no point he's trying to make. He's genuinely upset and hurt by what you have done and said to him over the last three years. He's not going to stop until you fix what you have done wrong." Nate said with a slight anger to his voice.

"I've tried to apologise to him. He won't listen to me. He's being unreasonable."

"He won't listen to you, because he has no interest in listening to lies and B.S. Until you figure out why you treated Marty the way that you have and you tell him the truth. This relationship will only get worse. Marty will do his job, because he doesn't know how not to. Once this operation is over though, you'll be right back in the same spot. He's only going to want to hear the truth from you. So you need to figure out what that is and then you can start to fix this." Nate said.

"Maybe Sam shouldn't be going in with Deeks. I could go in instead. Deeks trusts me and we've worked together before without any problems." Callen said.

"We can do the backstopping, but when we are finished we need a picture. So you guys have to decide who is going in by then." Eric said.

"Mr. Hanna fits best for this. Mr. Deeks will be professional and get the job done. Mr. Getz is right. If you do not try and fix this relationship Mr. Hanna then this team is going to fall apart. Mr. Deeks is not an agent he could leave and go back to L.A.P.D whenever he wants. Whether you accept Mr. Deeks as an agent or as a member of this team he is and has been for three years now. This team has never functioned better since Mr. Deeks has been here. I would hate to have to pick one over the other Mr. Hanna. So fix this before I am left with no choice, but to choose one of you." Hetty said.

"You would actually consider picking Deeks over me? He's not even an agent." Sam said with shock and anger in his voice.

"Deeks is a great cop and has done this job without all of our training. God and you wonder why he's so mad at you. Even after everything he just did for your family you still think he's not good enough or at your level." Kensi said with anger in her voice.

"Deeks is a great cop, but that doesn't mean he's able to be a great agent. He doesn't have the training for it." Sam said.

"And you would be a terrible cop. Deeks doesn't need training in a building to make him good at the job. He has life training that makes him great at his job. Deeks is right you are full of yourself. You think because you were a navy seal that you're entitled and better than him. You're supposed to be the training agent; if you thought for the last three years that Deeks didn't have the training maybe you should have done your job and trained him." Kensi said.

"He never expressed or showed any interest in training." Sam said in his defence.

"He did to me. Deeks and I have spent many Saturday afternoons together." Callen said.

"Doing what?" Sam asked.

"Training; hand to hand, different weapons, take downs and raiding protocols. We've been back at the training house working on clearing protocols and working on his skills." Callen said.

"I didn't know that." Kensi said.

"Why didn't he come to me?" Sam asked.

"Seriously?" Kensi said rudely.

"Sam, you haven't been very welcoming of Marty. Why would he go to you for help or training when you treat him like trash?" Nate said.

"Deeks was thinking about signing the NCIS papers that Hetty gave him two years ago. He wanted to make sure he was ready for it. It didn't matter that he had already been doing this job he didn't think he was good enough. So Saturday afternoons we would get together and I would help him. I was hoping the training would build up his confidence." Callen said.

"Is he still going to sign the papers?" Kensi asked.

"I don't know. I haven't asked him after what happened." Callen said.

"Deeks actually has a better record than you do Sam." Eric said gently.

Eric and Nell had kept quiet this whole time. They were a part of the team, but they did something else. They weren't there every day with them downstairs and interacting with each other. They were their own partners with each other. This was a conversation for the four of them and not for Eric and Nell, but Eric thought he would at least let everyone know all of the facts.

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked.

"Well you've been a seal and helped with the C.I.A from time to time, but Deeks' record is actually more impressive. Especially when you consider that Deeks is only thirty-four and has been a cop for only eight years. Deeks graduate the academy as a detective and was placed in the undercover unit right away. He has a record of over a thousand arrests in just eight years. He's been undercover as a lot of different people and he's never been made. The only time he was, was because someone within the precinct ratted him out. He's been solely responsible for shutting down human trafficking rings, drug lords and major gangs. Deeks can literally go undercover as anything and he makes it believable. You can only be so many different people, because that's all you know how to do. You have the better title, but Deeks has the better record, especially when you consider that we do a lot of undercover work and Deeks could do any of them." Eric said carefully.

"I think Mr. Hanna you need to think very long and hard about why you treat Mr. Deeks the way that you have. You are a good agent, but so is Mr. Deeks. I suggest you go and get some things together for the safe house and scout the area of the bar. Mr. Deeks is on point for this operation and you are to follow his lead and direction. Do I make myself clear Mr. Hanna?" Hetty said with a very serious voice.

"Yes maim." Sam said.

"I'll come with you. I want to scout the area in case we have to have surveillance at some point in this operation." Callen said.

"I'll be back to get my alias in a couple of hours." Sam said to Eric and Nell.

"We'll be ready." Nell said.

"Go to the cabinet and take the key with tag number eight. The address is on the back." Hetty said.

Sam gave a nod as him and Callen left the Ops room and headed outside to go and check out the bar and get some things for the safe house. The room in Ops had a lingering tension left in the room. Kensi was angry at Sam for what he said about Deeks. Deeks wasn't just her partner; he was the man she loved. She wasn't going to tolerate anyone speaking about Deeks like that. Deeks had proven himself many times, especially in the last three months he didn't deserve this. He deserved respect, especially from Sam. At first Kensi thought that Deeks was being a little hard on Sam, but now she completely understood. Sam hadn't changed what he thought of Deeks even after what he did for his family.

"Them going undercover is a bad idea Hetty." Kensi said.

"They will both be professional. It's after the operation that concerns me." Hetty said.

"Why does Sam have such a problem with Deeks?" Nell asked.

"That's something only Sam knows and until he admits it to himself he can't start to repair the damage." Nate said.

"Are you really going to have to pick between the two of them?" Eric asked.

"I hope not Mr. Beale, I hope not. For now all we can do is prepare for this operation. So work on the aliases Mr. Beale and Miss. Jones so they can go in tonight to speak with Mr. Phillip." Hetty said.

"We'll get them done." Nell said.

"What do you need me to do?" Kensi asked.

"Wait for your partner to get back and make sure he is alright." Hetty said.

Kensi gave a nod and she headed downstairs to go to the gym. She knew that Deeks would be a little while before he got back. She could understand that he needed sometime alone to get his emotions under control and his head in the game. Kensi figured she would blow off some steam while she waited for Deeks.

Hetty and Nate went downstairs as well so Hetty could work on getting this operation completely organized. Nate wanted to speak to Hetty about what happened upstairs. Nate knew that Sam and Deeks' relationship was getting worse and unless one of them opened up the relationship was going to explode. Nate knew that the team would work if they all would just get along. Sam was good for Callen and Deeks was good for Kensi. When they got along they worked well together and the team hadn't been more successful. Deeks made the team work, he brought something special to the table and that was the ability to keep the tension light. Deeks could tell when they were all nervous or tense he was able to tell a horrible joke and instantly lighten the mood. Deeks made them a family and Nate didn't want to see that be destroyed. Hetty sat down at her desk and Nate leaned against the wall in front of her.

"They are getting worse. It seems like Mr. Hanna hasn't changed at all." Hetty said.

"Sam is stubborn, he doesn't want to admit to himself why he really has been treating Marty the way that he has. Marty is sick of it and he's finally standing up for himself with Sam. Only Sam can make this better, but he has to want to."

"This is getting out of hand." Hetty said as she shook her head slightly.

"You have another problem. If Marty leaves you could lose Kensi. She won't tolerate another partner, especially if it is because you picked Sam over Marty."

"I don't want to have to pick or break up this team. They work very well together. I just need this relationship fixed. Mr. Callen trusts Mr. Hanna in a way he's never trusted a partner before. I don't want to break any of them a part."

"It's up to Sam to fix this. Marty is not about to just let this go and go back to being treated like he is less than everyone else on the team. Sam has to make the first move to fix this and unfortunately until he does the relationship will only get more toxic and eventually will be completely destroyed beyond repair." Nate said.

"That's what I am afraid of Mr. Getz. Keep an eye on Mr. Deeks for me while he is undercover."

"I will."

Hetty looked down to do some work and Nate took that as his time to walk away. He was going to speak to Kensi, but he knew that she needed time to herself to calm down and work through it. Nate was worried that Sam wouldn't man up and fight to have a relationship with Deeks. He was worried that Sam would let this go until it exploded and Deeks just left to go back to L.A.P.D. If that happened Nate couldn't say if Kensi would stay as well or not. Kensi had grown very attached to Deeks and they worked very well together. For Kensi to have another partner and to start all over again; Nate didn't know if she would do that here. She would blame Sam for Deeks leaving and once again creating a disastrous relationship with Sam. The future of this team did rest in Sam's hands and Nate didn't know if Sam would man up and admit to Deeks why he really did treat him that way or not. Nate went into his office to get some paperwork done while he waited for Deeks to come back.

Sam and Callen were in Sam's charger and heading down to Sam's house so he could grab a bag and explain to Michelle that he was going undercover. He knew she wouldn't be too happy, but he wasn't going to let Deeks go undercover alone in this. Despite what people were thinking right now Sam did care about Deeks and he did want to fix the relationship. The problem was Deeks was being completely different than he usually is. He was being stubborn and angry, which for Deeks doesn't happen. Deeks forgives and forgets. He's happy and tells horribly stupid jokes at the wrong time. Deeks wasn't an angry and stubborn person so for Sam to try and speak to him about this was getting to be unbelievably difficult. Sam pulled into his driveway and Callen got out of the car with him. Callen had wanted to see Michelle and make sure she was doing okay. He also knew she would need some reassurance that Sam would be okay on this operation. Sam opened the door and called out to his wife.

"Michelle"

Michelle came around the corner from the kitchen.

"Hey baby, Callen what are you guys doing here?" Michelle asked.

"I need to grab a few things. I'm going on an operation tomorrow."

"Operation where?" Michelle asked with a slight anger to her voice.

"Baby, sit down and I'll explain everything." Sam said gently.

Michelle gave Sam a look as she sat down on the couch and waited for when Sam would tell her what was going on. Callen and Sam both sat down, Sam on the couch next to his wife and Callen in the chair.

"There is this cartel called Satan's Angels and they are stealing military weapons and selling them overseas and to local gangs. They are also in a drug ring and a human trafficking ring. In the last year they have killed over two thousand people from other cartels. They attack a bigger cartel kill the leader and any men that won't follow them. Those that choose to live are being forced to join them. The cartel is planning something big, because they gave some of the weapons to local gangs and now they have declared war against the L.A.P.D. We went down to station twenty-nine, which is Deeks' station, to help them when they were attacked just a few hours ago."

"I saw it on the news. Every news station is going crazy with reports of this war." Michelle said.

"We were able to end the attack on the station and we explained all of this to Lieutenant Bates, Deeks' lieutenant. We got three names of drug runners for this cartel and an old alias of Deeks' knows one of the runners. His lieutenant is making Deeks go undercover for them. Bates doesn't have a choice, because once the Chief of Police found out that Deeks had a way into the cartel he would have been forced to go and NCIS would have been kicked out. So NCIS is taking over this investigation and keeping L.A.P.D in the loop. This way we can keep a better eye on Deeks and he won't be going in alone. He's going undercover and I'm going with him as a friend he met in prison."

"For how long?"

"I don't know. I'm here to grab some things to take over to a safe house. Tonight Deeks and I are going to speak to his connection in the cartel to see if we can even get in. Then starting tomorrow I'll be at the safe house. Hopefully this won't take long."

"Why are you going in? The two of you aren't getting along, how is that safe for either of you?" Michelle asked.

"Both Sam and Deeks are professional. They will get the job done and back each other up." Callen said.

"I'm going to speak to Deeks before we go in and try to clear the air." Sam said.

"I thought he wasn't even cleared for field duty." Michelle said.

"He isn't and Nate won't clear him. Hetty is going against Nate's recommendation. She doesn't have a choice though. It's either he goes in with us or he goes in alone with L.A.P.D. At least with us we can make sure he is safe and has back up." Sam said.

"Deeks is also going to be in an apartment that NCIS owns. It's covered with microphones and cameras so he'll be monitored and protected if something happens." Callen said.

"When are you leaving tonight?"

"We'll be at the bar around eleven. I'll go earlier and speak with Deeks at his apartment. Hopefully we can put an end to this between us." Sam said.

"You better mister. That guy has been through enough he shouldn't have to fight at work." Michelle said.

"I'll do my best baby. I need to get a bag together and I have to scout out the area of the bar. I'm going undercover as a criminal so I need to do some recon."

"Well that's a first. You've never been a common criminal before. Think you can handle it?" Michelle asked.

"I'll be fine. I'll do a little recon and see what kind of criminal I'll be. Hopefully this operation won't take long and I will make sure I keep in touch like I always do." Sam said.

"You better mister. Go get your things so you can be ready and set up. I have to get some things done before I pick the girls up. Will you be here for dinner?"

"Yes maim I will make sure I am here for dinner."

"You better be my parents are coming."

"I know, I remember. I promise I will be here right after work."

"Mmhm. Get going then." Michelle said.

Sam kissed Michelle on the cheek before he got up to go and grab some things for the safe house. He would bring clothes and a back-up gun. He looked in his closet and grabbed some clothes that would work for a criminal Sam thought. He could also grab some from Ops to bring with him as well later. Once Sam had everything him and Callen got back into his car so they could drive down to the bar. Deeks was right about one thing; Sam had never been in this area before so he didn't know what to expect.

"Are you really going to try and work things out with Deeks? Or were you just saying that for Michelle's sake?" Callen asked after a few minutes.

"I'm going to speak to Deeks tonight at his place before we go to the bar." Sam said.

"Are you going to tell him the truth?" Callen asked carefully.

"What do you mean?"

"Well do you really just not like Deeks or is it the timing of when he joined the team?"

"And what timing would that be?" Sam asked annoyed.

"Dom had been missing for two months. Deeks comes into the picture, is in Dom's desk; has Dom's partner. Dom was still missing when Deeks came in and took his place. Are you sure that has nothing to do with how you treated Deeks?" Callen asked.

"I don't know. I'll figure it out alright?" Sam said annoyed.

Callen didn't say anything else on the topic. He knew that Sam would do the right thing in the end; he was just hoping it wouldn't be too late by then. Deeks was very upset and hurt by Sam and the way he had treated him in the last three years. Deeks had been through a lot in his life and in the past three months; Callen didn't want Deeks to be going through anymore hurt. Out of everyone on the team Deeks was the last person that could handle being tortured. He wasn't trained to compartmentalize something like this. It's not Deeks' fault that he can't handle being tortured. Being tortured isn't some common thing that you go through every day. Callen couldn't blame Deeks for not being able to handle torture. Callen had been through a lot and seen a lot with the C.I.A and even he would have had trouble with what happened to Deeks if he went through it. The main problem now was getting Sam and Deeks to get along.

"He looks up to you, you know. Like an older brother. He wants your respect more than anything. It's part of the reason why he asked me for help on Saturdays. He wanted to be good enough for you." Callen said.

Sam let out a sigh as he thought about what Callen said. Sam really didn't know why he was so hard on Deeks. The problem was he needed to figure it out or he risked losing out on a potentially great friendship. They pulled up to the bar and Sam parked the car on the side of the street so they could get a good look of the area. They weren't going to get out of the car, because Sam didn't want to risk being seen by anyone. The area was rundown. The building had almost all of the windows boarded up. There was graffiti all over the outside. There were homeless people all along the streets, along with prostitutes and drug dealers. There were parents walking down the street with young children beside them and Sam couldn't help, but think that this is no place for a child to grow up.

"Well this is new for you." Callen said.

"It's going to take me all night to figure out this alias. I've been an ex-military before, but that wasn't as a common criminal. It was for terrorist and military groups. I've never gone undercover like this before."

"You're gonna have to listen to Deeks. He'll be able to give you some pointers for your alias. Deeks has been doing what we do for three years and now you get to try and do what he does best."

"Look at the children. They are walking by homeless people and drug dealers like it's nothing. These children are just doomed before they even get the chance." Sam said sadly.

"Surveillance here will be a little tricky, but I can make it work. Let's drive up a few blocks."

Sam put the car in drive and started to drive up the street. The street only got worse the further up you got. The houses became more rundown and the worst part was people were actually living in them. To think that people live like this was heartbreaking for Sam. He grew up in a totally different world compared to this. Sam couldn't imagine his daughters being in this area.

"Stop right here." Callen said.

Sam stopped his car, but he wasn't sure why Callen wanted them to stop right here. They were in front of old houses that looked like they should be condemned. They were in horrible shape and Sam would have been surprised if they even had electricity.

"Why are we stopped here?" Sam asked.

"See that white house right there between the two brown houses?" Callen asked as he pointed across the street.

"Ya, what about it?"

"That is the house that Deeks grew up in."

"That house?" Sam asked surprised.

"He lived there until he was fourteen, even after he shot his father his mother didn't move out. I didn't know he had a step-father." Callen said.

Sam looked at the house. It was the worst one on the block. Sam couldn't believe that Deeks came from a place like this. When Sam first met Deeks he thought he was nothing, but a joke. He was never serious and he was always so carefree. Deeks didn't worry about anything and he would make jokes at the wrong time and they were horrible jokes. Sam never thought that there could have been more underneath what Deeks shows. In the last twelve hours Sam had learned so much about Deeks that he never thought he would.

"How do you know that?" Sam asked.

"Because Deeks talks to me. We understand each other. I grew up in the foster system and he grew up in hell. Deeks just handled it differently than I did."

"How did I get him so wrong? I've always been good at reading people and yet with Deeks I got it all wrong. How is that possible?"

"Because Deeks is a great undercover detective and he can be anyone in a second. Deeks has done this his whole life hiding who he is. Even though, we understand each other Deeks never told me about growing up or that he had a step-father. I knew he was abused I could tell, but I didn't know it was that bad."

"I figured something happened for him to shoot his father, but I didn't think the abuse was that bad. I just thought his father was a drunk. I had no idea his life was this bad."

"There's a lot to Deeks that we don't know. You could know though, if you tried."

"I know and I will. I'm going to try and make this right I really am."

"I know you will." Callen said.

Sam looked at the house one more time before he put his car into drive and headed to the safe house. He knew he needed to get back to Ops so he could get his alias and try to make it believable. If he had to ask Deeks for help then he would. He wasn't going to put their operation at risk and Deeks truly was great at undercover work.

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Deeks walked back into Ops just a little after three in the afternoon. He had spent the last few hours just getting some things over to the apartment and getting to know the place. He had to make it look like he was living there so he wanted to know where everything in the apartment was and what was in the area. Deeks was one of the best undercover detectives that L.A had and he didn't get that way by being lazy or doing things half assed. Deeks walked into Ops and he immediately went over to Hetty's desk so he could apologise for his earlier actions. He knew he wasn't professional and he knew it was uncalled for. Deeks knew he had to let it go with Sam and just go back to how he used to be by ignoring it and acting like it doesn't bother him. The problem he was having was, he just didn't know if he could do that anymore. After everything he did to protect Sam's wife and this country Deeks felt like that should have been enough to earn Sam's respect.

Hetty was sitting at her desk and looked up once she heard someone coming towards her. She saw that it was Deeks and she gave him a small smile. Deeks came right up to the desk before he spoke.

"I'm sorry about earlier. I was unprofessional and it won't happen again."

"It's understandable that you were upset. Mr. Hanna was in the wrong for what he said and when he said it. I am worried though, that you won't be able to keep yourself together while you are undercover Mr. Deeks."

"I'll be fine Hetty. I've been on operations before after a rough one. I can keep it together for this."

"Mr. Getz will be speaking with you once a week to check in on you. He's very upset about all of this."

"I'll continue to speak with him. To be honest I look forward to talking with Nate each week. Talking with him is really easy, like talking to an old friend that you've grown up with. There's nothing you can tell him that makes him think differently."

"Good. Miss. Blye is in the gym." Hetty said with a smile.

"Thanks." Deeks said with a small smile.

Deeks headed towards the gym so he could speak and apologize to Kensi for what happened in the Ops. Kensi had been on him recently to get over what happened between him and Sam. Deeks knew she would be upset with him for what he said and the way he acted towards Sam. Deeks walked into the gym to see Kensi at the punching bag and he was sure she was imagining his head on the bag. Deeks pulled out Kensi's favorite chocolate bar as he headed towards the bag. When he got there he smiled and held up the chocolate bar.

"I come in peace."

Kensi stopped what she was doing and smiled at Deeks.

"I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at Sam. You were right and I was wrong. You shouldn't forgive him." Kensi said with a heavy breath.

"I can't just be mad at him forever. I need to forget it and just move on. The problem is I don't know how to do that with this. I used to be able to ignore it and blow it off, but now I just can't seem to. I don't know maybe it would be better for me to go back to L.A.P.D after this." Deeks said and Kensi could hear the confusion in his voice.

"You better not, because then I will be pissed at you. Deeks you have every right to be here just as much as Sam does. I don't care what you yell out when we raid a house. You are an Agent and you're a damn good one. You are the one putting in the effort and time to get better and to grow. You are the one that has more than earned the respect of the team. And it's Sam that doesn't deserve your respect not the other way around. He thinks what you do for L.A.P.D is so easy, but he's about to find out just how hard it is to be an undercover."

"Sam's gone undercover before."

"Ya, but not as some criminal. He's gone for terrorist cells and that's only for a few hours here and there. He hasn't been under for long term in a very long time. He's never done what you do. He's about to find out just how much work you do for an alias."

"Speaking of aliases I have to go and see if Eric and Nell are done with mine."

"Okay I'm gonna shower then I'll see you out there?"

"Ya I'm not going anywhere yet. I want to see Sam's alias and see what he has. We're supposed to be friends so I should know the alias."

"Alright I'll see you out there in fifteen."

Kensi said as she grabbed the chocolate bar from Deeks and headed into the locker room to shower. Deeks headed out of the gym and up to Ops to see what Eric and Nell had.

"Hey guys."

"Hey Deeks. You alright?" Nell asked.

"I'm good. Sorry about before." Deeks said as he leaned his back against the table.

"Don't even worry about it. By the time Sam left he had us all mad." Eric said.

"Well that makes me feel better. Is my alias ready?"

"Both of them are ready. We pushed so you guys can have all the time you need to be ready for tonight." Nell said.

"Thanks. Can you print two copies of each?"

"Sure" Eric said as he turned to his computer.

"Why two?" Nell asked.

"We're supposed to know each other. I need to know Sam's as well as I know mine and he needs to do the same. Something really simple could be what gets us both made."

"Thinking like that is why you are one of the best Deeks." Eric said as he went over to the printer.

"Thanks Eric"

"Kensi was pretty mad. Has she calmed down?" Nell asked.

"She's fine I gave her a chocolate bar. She's in the shower right now."

"Alright here are both aliases for you. We didn't change anything in your history, we just added to the last fourteen months to complete the timeline." Eric said.

"Thanks guys. I'll read through them. Thanks." Deeks said as he grabbed the files and headed out of Ops.

"Do you think everything will be okay?" Eric asked Nell as he sat down.

"I hope so. They are both professional so they will get the job done. I don't know about personally though." Nell said.

"Deeks is better than Sam is thinking." Eric said.

"I know. Hopefully he figures that out soon. I'd hate to lose either one of them." Nell said.

"Ya" Eric said as he turned his attention back to his computer.

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It was just after four when Sam and Callen walked into the mission. Deeks was sitting at his desk reading a file that Sam figured was his updated alias. Kensi was sitting on her desk looking at Deeks. Kensi and Deeks looked up at Sam and Callen when they heard someone walking towards them.

"Hey Callen." Kensi said.

"Hey Kens. That your alias Deeks?" Callen asked as he made his way to his desk.

"Ya. Sam yours is upstairs." Deeks said, but he didn't take his eyes off the file.

"Thanks." Sam said.

Sam headed upstairs to get the alias and then he was going to go to wardrobe to see about some clothes for this operation. He needed to be quick he had to be home by six o'clock for dinner and he also had to read this alias and get it down right. They had to be over at the bar at eleven and that didn't leave him much time to get everything ready. It was another thirty minutes when Sam came down into the bullpen dressed in what he thought he would wear tonight at the bar.

"What do you think G?" Sam asked his partner.

Deeks looked up to see what Sam was talking about and he saw the clothes he was wearing. Sam was wearing designer jeans, a nice shirt with a thick gold necklace around his neck and a designer watch.

"Looks nice." Callen said.

"No." Deeks said looking at Sam.

"What's wrong with it?" Sam asked.

"Did you even read your alias? You're supposed to be a criminal who just got out of jail. Not a gangster or a pimp." Deeks said,

"So how am I supposed to look?" Sam asked.

"Casual, ridiculously casual. No big gold chains or designer clothing. You just got out of jail and you're broke. That's why you need in with me. You need to read your alias and mine and know them completely. You have to become this alias. Where do you live?"

"Down on west fifth."

"Wrong. It's no one's business where you live and that's what you tell them. Where are you from? Do you have an accent? Are your parents dead? You have to be this person, because simple questions like that can get us killed."

"I'm from New York, but I don't have an accent, because I moved around a lot. My parents are dead and my father was in the military he died in the line of duty."

"Any coffee shops in your area?"

"I don't know maybe. I don't drink coffee."

"You're just never going to drink coffee while this operation is going on? Even when you are alone?"

"There's some little mom and pop coffee shops just a few blocks from me."

"Think everything through, because when you are asked you can't think about the answer. You need to know the answers like you know yourself. Any hesitation can get you made and get us killed. It's like working with a rookie." Deeks said slightly annoyed.

"I'll be fine. I'll read the alias tonight and make sure I know the person. Are we meeting at the bar?"

"Ya. What are you driving?"

"My charger."

"The charger that is registered in your name?"

"I'll get a car from Hetty and have Eric change the registration. What are you driving?"

"The mustang that I drove last time."

"How did you get the mustang?"

"I stole it."

"You have an answer for everything don't you."

"Yup and you need to."

"I'll get it done. I gotta get heading home. If I'm late for that dinner Michelle is going to kill me." Sam said to Callen.

"Have fun with the in-laws." Callen said with a smile.

"Ya. I'll meet you at the bar Deeks?"

"Yup"

"See ya guys." Sam said as he headed back up to wardrobe to change and then he would see Hetty so speak to her about a car.

Sam knew he needed to know this alias and become it. He had done this before, but he had never done it for this long. NCIS going undercover, you go for a few hours a day and then go back to Ops and work the case. For Deeks he didn't do that. He would go undercover for six months straight. He would have to be that person all day long and he couldn't mess up or it would mean his life. Deeks was a pro when it came to long term undercover work and Sam was more than happy to let Deeks take the lead on this. Deeks knew what he was doing better than Sam and Sam was fine with that. Deeks had the way into this cartel and Sam was just there to keep him safe.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXX

It was nine o'clock at night and Sam was sitting outside of Deeks' apartment in the car that he got from Hetty. It was an old charger that Sam could say was his fathers that he restored and had it in storage while he was in jail. It would be fast so if they needed to get away in a hurry they would be able to in this car. Sam knew they were supposed to meet at the bar at eleven, but Sam wanted to speak with Deeks before they went to the bar. Sam had spent the night reading his and Deeks' alias. Michelle was slightly annoyed, but she understood that Sam needed to know the alias for tonight.

Now he was sitting out front of Deeks' apartment trying to figure out what to tell him. He knew that Deeks was mad and upset with him and Sam could understand that. Sam had been thinking about this all day and night since their little confrontation in the Ops center. Sam never even thought that Deeks would be comparable to him. Sam never thought Deeks took this seriously and to find out that he had been working with Callen on Saturdays was unbelievable to Sam. He didn't think Deeks wanted to learn and if he had come to him he would have taught him. Sam would have trained Deeks if he had showed any interest in learning. Sam knew that it wasn't Deeks' fault for why Sam didn't like him. Sam knew that it was all the timing of when Deeks showed up that made him not like him. Sam knew it wasn't Deeks' fault for any of this and Sam knew he had to let this go. He had to let go what he thought of Deeks, because he was wrong. Deeks was completely different than Sam had thought he was and Sam knew he needed to let it go and move on. Sam needed to start over with Deeks and try to build an actual relationship with him. Sam was going to do his best to fix this, because he didn't want to lose Deeks. Even if at times he was annoying Deeks made the team better, he made the family better and Sam didn't want to lose him. Sam got out of his car and headed up the stairs to Deeks' apartment. As he got to the door he could hear crashing followed by glass breaking. Sam knocked on the door, but when no one came to it he tried the handle to find it unlocked. Sam went in slowly, he walked in and he didn't see Deeks in the living room.

"Deeks" Sam called out.

Sam didn't get a response so he moved further into the apartment shutting the door behind him. He went into the kitchen and saw Deeks frozen on the spot. His hands were on the counter and they were gripping it so hard his knuckles were white. He was breathing heavy and shaking slightly. Sam had seen this before from being in the military, Deeks was having a panic attack.

"Deeks" Sam said gently.

That was when Sam heard it a drill was being used in the next apartment. That's when Sam understood why Deeks was having a panic attack. He remembered Kensi telling him that the sound of a drill sent Deeks into a tailspin. It would bring the memories forward giving him a flashback and a panic attack all at the same time. The drill made Deeks worse and Sam did the only thing he knew to do. He wrapped his arms around Deeks tight and held on even when Deeks fought against him. Sam knew that this would help to get Deeks out of the flashback and get the panic attack under control. Sam had seen this many times before after being in a war zone.

"Deeks breathe. Just listen to my voice. Calm down you are not in that room. Just breathe Deeks."

Deeks was still fighting against Sam's tight grip. The sound of the drill had stopped again and Sam was hoping that would be enough to calm Deeks' panic attack down.

"Deeks calm down its okay. You need to breathe through this." Sam said gently again.

Deeks listened to Sam's voice and did his best to calm his breathing down. Deeks couldn't believe that he was having a panic attack with Sam right there. The only people who have seen him have a panic attack were Kensi and Nate and that was only because they were around for it. After a few minutes Deeks was able to get his breathing back under control so he pushed away from Sam's grip so he could go out on his balcony. Sam let go of Deeks and followed him through his apartment and then outside on the balcony. Deeks put his hands down on the railing and looked out at the beach. It was the only thing that had been able to keep him calm and level headed. The beach had been his therapy these past twelve weeks and Deeks knew he would never move out of this apartment. Sam stood off to the side and just looked at Deeks. Sam had never seen Deeks have a panic attack and he didn't even know he still had them. Deeks was nowhere near ready for this, but he was pushing through once again, because it was what was right. In that moment Sam realized just how proud of Deeks he was.

"I'm proud of you." Sam said softly, but in the quiet of the night it sounded like he had just yelled it for the whole beach to hear.

Deeks looked up and over at Sam. "What?"

"I'm proud of you. You aren't ready for this, but you are pushing yourself through this, because it's what is right. Deeks I'm sorry for the last three years and for this afternoon."

"I'm not in the mood to hear your lies." Deeks said as he pushed off the balcony railing and headed back inside.

Sam followed behind Deeks more determined than ever to speak to Deeks and get him to understand.

"I'm not lying Deeks. We need to talk about this. Just listen to me."

"I'm not going to stand here and listen to your lies or excuses as to why you treated me like trash for three years. Let's just face it Sam we are never going to get along."

"At least listen to the truth. I'm not here to tell you lies or excuses I'm here to explain and tell you the truth. If you still don't want to try and work this out then fine, but at least you'll be doing it with the truth. Just hear me out."

"Fine. Talk." Deeks said annoyed, but he knew Sam wouldn't drop this until he agreed to listen to him.

"It's not you. You are good enough Deeks. It's truly not you. I would have treated anyone else the exact same way as you. You came in at the wrong time for me; that's all. I know I shouldn't have treated you the way that I did. I can't apologise enough for the way that I have treated you in the past and today. I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want you to feel like you can't come to me for help or for training. When you showed up Dom had been missing for two months. We didn't know if he was alive or where he was. Dom was Kensi's partner, but he was mine to train. He was fresh out of the academy and completely new. I worked with him every weekend to build up his skills. I took him under my wing and when he needed me I wasn't there for him. I kept thinking if I had just trained him more, if I had pushed him more maybe he wouldn't have been taken. Maybe he would have noticed something was wrong. Maybe he would have gotten away. Then you show up and you take his desk and you take his partner and I was mad, because to me he was still alive and that was his place for whenever he came back. Then when we do find him he dies saving my life. So when I say it's not you I mean it. I would have hated anyone that took his place. It's not fair to you and I should have put it behind me long ago. I'm sorry Deeks. I misjudged you and worse I didn't take the time to get to know you before I judged you. I want to start over. I want to know the real you Deeks."

"We're too different. You come from a loving happy life and I come from a world where that type of life is only in the books you read. I tell jokes and try to make the best out of life, because I know how cruel this world really is. We're too different."

"I grew up in a good home. My parents never fought in front of me. My father was in the Navy and same with my grandfather. For me being in the Navy was an honor. I didn't grow up where there were prostitutes and drug dealers all over the street. I didn't have to fear my parents. We came from different worlds, but that doesn't mean we're too different to be friends. To get along. Deeks I have seen some horrible things from being in the Navy. I've been in war zones and I've almost died many times. I've seen horrible things that I wish I could forget. I can help you get passed what happened. I want to help you be able to move on from it and not just what happened three months ago, but with growing up. Deeks you shot you father. I could tell you right now I would never have had the courage to do that; even today I couldn't do that. You had more courage at eleven than I do now. Deeks let me help you with this. Let's start over and actually get to know each other."

"Why? Why do you care so much if we become friends or not?" Deeks said losing all fight in his voice.

"Because I was wrong. Because you are a great cop and I was wrong to judge you. I owe you my family Deeks. I can't tell you how many other Agents would have given in, but you didn't. Whether you did that for Michelle or for this country, you took the pain and you didn't give in like others would have. I want to help you get over all of this. I want to try and be friends. So can we at least just try and put the past behind us and start over?"

"I wasn't trying to take anyone's place. I didn't even know about Dom until Kensi called me to tell me what happened when he died. I wasn't trying to take his place Sam."

"I know you weren't and I'm sorry. I should have gotten passed it especially once you proved you had the skills for the team. I should have done with you what I did with Dom. I should have taken you under my wing and taught you what I know. Being in the military you got used to losing people. You knew every day when you woke up that that person beside you or across from you might not be there tomorrow, you might not be there. Being with NCIS and this team you don't realise that, that can still happen. I should have taught you everything I know to help you survive and if you let me I would really like to. You are good enough for this job; you're good enough for me. I would really like to train you and show you everything I know. So one day if you ever want to move up to an Agent or to something higher than that you'll have not only the ability to, but the confidence to do it. Let me help you Deeks."

Deeks was quiet for a few minutes while he thought everything that Sam said over. He wanted to start over with Sam. He wanted to trust Sam and believe that what he said was the truth. He wanted to believe that Sam would stop treating him like garbage, but after three years it was hard to believe. Deeks didn't doubt that Sam understood how he felt and had seen it before. Deeks knew that Sam was in the military and had been overseas in warzones. Deeks just didn't want to get burned or hurt again. He did know that he couldn't keep being angry, it was draining him.

"I don't know if I can do this." Deeks said softly.

"Deeks you can do this. Tonight we are just going to meet with Scar. All you have to do is get us in. I can move up the chain of command and you can just be a runner. If that's all you can handle then that's okay. You just need to get me in and I can do the rest. I need to know something important though, what triggers these panic attacks?"

"Drills obviously. Large crowds which doesn't make sense to me. We were alone so why crowds bother me so much doesn't make sense."

"That's common with PTSD of all kinds. It's hard to see who is in a crowd and that makes the anxiety increase. Is that all that triggers it?"

"Sometimes it just happens out of nowhere, like earlier."

"This isn't the first one today?" Sam said with concern.

"When we got back from the fire fight; in the locker room. Kensi helped put a stop to it though."

"The adrenaline wore off from the fight. How did Kensi stop it?"

"Talking usually helps, takes my mind off from it. It only works when it's just coming on though."

"So what do you do when you are home alone and you have a panic attack?"

"I try and breathe through it. I go out on the balcony. The beach helps calm me down, it always has since I was a kid. The beach was the only safe place I had to go. I used to sneak out when I was young and sleep on the beach when my parents were fighting or drunk. There's just something about the waves that calms me down, it always has."

"A lot of people find comfort in the beach. The sound of the waves is very calming and soothing for people. You especially though, you surf, the beach has been like home to you. It makes perfect sense for it to be able to calm you down. Are you getting flashbacks?"

"Sometimes; not as much as I used to. The sound of a drill is the only thing to bring the flashbacks on now. I'm working on it."

"I know you haven't been sleeping well, I can tell by looking at you. I know this sounds a little cliché, but it will get better. You've come a long way in just three months and in three months from now you'll be even farther than you are now. It's just going to take time and there are ways to work through the panic attacks and nightmares. Talking is key. I know it's hard to talk about it, but it really will be the best thing to do to get over this."

"I talk to Nate. Did you get a different car from Hetty?" Deeks asked hoping he could change the subject.

"I did. It's an older charger that belonged to my dad. It's in good shape so if we need a quick get-away then we can. Are we going in separate cars?"

"Ya, it'll look weird if we go together."

"What's Scar's story? Is there anything special that wasn't in the report earlier?"

"Not really. He's just a thug. He's tried being a bigger fish, but it doesn't work. He's not smart at all. He has street smarts, because he grew up on the streets, but he's really stupid. He's been in and out of jail since I've known him. He's the type to brag about stealing things and how he got away with it. But he leaves out the fact that for every time he got away with stealing something, there's ten other times where he was caught. He's really easy to manipulate though, if he thinks you're smart he'll do what you say."

"Well that will come in handy."

"Go in tonight and just be tough and quiet. Remember you're supposed to be protective of me from what happened in prison. Be tough, talk when they ask you questions and just be protective. We have one shot at selling your alias and that's tonight. I'm already in by knowing Scar. It's you that we have to get in and that's the easy part. The hard part is staying in."

"We can do this. I've been working on the alias all night and I'm confident in it. Have you heard from Bates?"

"He called me earlier to let me know that Mary and Jason are being held in county. The Warden knows that they cannot have contact with any prisoners or phone calls until he gives the clear. The news is going crazy with stories of this war. The Chief of Police has assigned a special squad to handle the gangs, but it won't work. He can't give the orders to assassinate anyone so they will just fight and get arrested. The head guys will make bail and be back on the street within twenty-four hours of their arrest. Even when the cartel is taken down it's going to take a long time before this mess is cleaned up"

"All we can do is what is in our power to do. Tonight we just focus on meeting Scar and then tomorrow we can go from there."

"Ya. I should get ready and then we can go."

"Ok"

Deeks headed to his bedroom so he could get dressed as Max Gentry. Deeks didn't know how tonight was going to go over and he was nervous as hell about it. He knew Sam would be there with him, but still that didn't ease any of his fears. He didn't like to be in crowds and he knew that the Dirty Fifty usually was filled with people; drunk criminals. Deeks really didn't want to do this and he knew he didn't have a choice. He hated not having a choice, but there really wasn't anything he could do about it. Deeks didn't know if he could handle this, but he was going to have to push through until he was alone. Deeks got dressed and headed out into the living room. Sam looked at Deeks and gave him a friendly smile. Sam could see that Deeks wasn't ready for this or had the confidence that he usually has. Sam had to admit he hated seeing Deeks like this and he just wanted to make him feel better. Sam could feel his protectiveness kicking into high gear with Deeks. Deeks was able to handle himself, but after what happened to him he was having a lot of problems. On the surface to those that don't know him would think he's fine, but the team knew better. They could see the difference in Deeks and they all just wanted him to go back to normal. Deeks always had a light in his eyes and the team had come to need that as their operations went on. Deeks wasn't innocent, but to them he was that light that they needed to get through the day. When they were in a bad place Deeks was able to tell some stupid joke and make them feel better. Deeks was in-tuned to them and he knew when they needed a joke or when they needed a silent comfort. He could read people better than Sam had ever been able to read someone. Deeks didn't tend to show it, but he was very intelligent and Sam knew there was a lot more to Deeks then they were ever showed.

"You can do this Deeks. If you feel overwhelmed just let me know and we can handle it. Remember you went through something horrible in prison so Max isn't perfectly fine right now anyways. We can go outside get some fresh air and then go back in and get the job done. You can do this Deeks and I am going to be right there beside you."

Deeks let out a deep breath before he spoke.

"Ok. Let's get this over with."

Sam gave a nod and they headed out of Deeks' apartment and into their own cars. Deeks still had the black mustang that Max was last seen in and Sam had the older charger. Deeks took off first and Sam followed behind him. He grabbed his phone and called Callen once he put it on speaker.

"Hey Sam. How's it going?"

"We are on our way now to the bar. This is a bad idea G; he's not ready for this."

"I know, but we don't have a choice. Deeks has the only way into the cartel. Did you at least speak to him?"

"Ya we cleared the air. I think we are finally on the right path to starting over. I walked in and he was having a panic attack G. He's got PTSD; he has panic attacks from being in crowds and from the sound of a drill. He still gets nightmares and flashbacks. He's nowhere near ready for this. This is a bad idea G; this could make him worse than he already is."

"I didn't know he was still having panic attacks. How often does he get them?"

"He had one earlier today in the locker room after the precinct attack. He's had two today and we are on our way to a bar where it will be crowded with drunk criminals. He doesn't believe he can do this. He doesn't think he can handle it. I told him that he just had to get me in and then I can move up in the cartel and he can stay as a little fish in this. He just needs to get me in tonight."

"We'll keep an eye on him and if he starts to show signs of getting worse then we will pull him. I'm not risking his sanity and safety for this. I know it's important, but I'm not putting an operation over anyone on this team again. I'm not making that mistake twice. Keep an eye on him tonight and make sure he is okay. If he starts to show signs of a panic attack then just remove him from the bar and try to calm him down."

"I know. I'm just glad that we can hopefully finally start over. I want to help him so badly G, he needs it."

"Deeks will be okay, because we won't let him not be anything but okay. It's going to take time. You know yourself how hard it is to overcome PTSD you've seen it before. He needs your help now more than ever Sam."

"I know and I'll be there for him through all of this. I'm not going to make the same mistake again. I was wrong and hopefully our talk will be the start to fixing this. Now I have to show him I meant what I said."

"You can do this Sam. You know you made the mistake in judging Deeks and I know you'll make that right. Just give him time, he'll come around."

"I'll call you later and let you know how it went."

"I'm sure it will be fine just focus on your alias and let Deeks take the lead."

"I know, I will. I'll talk to you later G."

"Be safe."

Sam hung up his cell phone and just focused on driving behind Deeks. They were almost there and he needed to focus on his alias. It still wasn't perfect; tonight he would work on it more after he got back home. Sam was more used to going with the flow; he didn't tend to think an alias through before he went in. Usually he had an idea and he just winged it, but this time he can't. This time was different. Sam knew he had to think his alias through, because he had to be this person that was created. This was different for Sam, but he wasn't going to let Deeks down. Sam was man enough to admit that this was Deeks' specialty. This is what made Deeks so damn good and got Hetty interested in him. Deeks had survived longer than most undercover detectives and that wasn't because he was lucky. Deeks was great and talented and Sam knew he had to start looking at Deeks as an equal, especially after what he did for his family.

They pulled up to the bar and Sam parked along the street behind Deeks. Sam got out and walked up to Deeks who was getting out of the car. Sam could tell that Deeks was already having problems and he was hoping they could just get through this.

"Remember to breathe and I'm right here beside you. You can do this Deeks."

"Ya, okay let's go."

Deeks took a second to get his mind into the right place. He had to be Max Gentry and not Marty Deeks. He just had to do this for a little while and then he could go back home and be himself again. Deeks started to head towards the entrance of the bar with Sam beside him. As they got closer to the entrance they could hear the music coming out from how loud it was. Sam didn't know how well Deeks would do in the bar. Sam knew that Deeks didn't like crowds, but he didn't know how well loud music and drunk people would go over either. Sam had his gun on him, but Deeks didn't have his. With the panic attacks Deeks was a little worried about walking around with a gun just in case. If he was just sitting in Ops then he wasn't worried, but out on the street with people had Deeks a little worried. Sam opened the door and went in first. His alias was protective of Deeks and Sam was very much protective of Deeks right now. The bar was full of people that were older and definitely rougher looking. These weren't high end society people, they were the lowest of the lows and it showed. The bar was dirty, the customers were criminals and prostitutes. The music was loud and some old rock song. Sam knew that Deeks was going to have some problems so he was hoping they could make this quick. Deeks started to walk towards Scar and Sam followed very closely behind him.

Scar was sitting down at a table with three other men that looked just as rough as he did. Sam could already tell everyone at the table were already drunk. Deeks walked up to the table and Scar smiled when he saw Deeks. Sam was ready for anything to happen and he wasn't going to let Deeks get hurt. Sam could see Deeks slipping into Max Gentry very easily and Sam was starting to feel a little hopeful that Deeks would be able to handle this just long enough for them to get in.

"Hey you son of a bitch. Where the hell have you been?" Scar said who was clearly drunk.

"In jail." Deeks said as he sat down in a chair at the table.

"Who's this?" Scar asked with a deadly tone to his voice.

"He's with me." Deeks said back in his cool tone that Max had.

"And who the fuck are you?" One of the men at the table asked Deeks, that Deeks didn't recognize.

"Relax he's an old friend. I've known Max since he was fourteen. You're friend gonna stand there all night or is he gonna sit down?" Scar said.

Sam sat down in the chair right next to Deeks, but he kept his face expressionless and hard. Sam had to be tough and he had to be tougher than anyone here at the table. That was one of the things Sam was good at doing. He was good at making people see that he was the top dog and no one was gonna overpower him. He had a lot of muscles on him and tattoos so it wasn't something hard for him to sell.

"What's your name?" Scar asked Sam.

"Why the hell should I tell you my name. I don't know who the hell you are." Sam said with a slight attitude to his voice.

Scar smirked at Sam and Sam figured that he had answered that question right.

"I think I'm starting to like you. The name's Scar, this is Twitch, Rabbit and James."
Scar said pointing to each man. James was the only one that had spoken out of the three so far.

"Rabbit? That's the best nickname you could come up with seriously?" Deeks said with a slight laugh to his voice.

"We call him Rabbit cuz he's fast and likes to fuck a lot. We call him Twitch cuz he's always twitching for his next fix." Scar explained.

"No nickname for you James." Deeks said.

"I don't need a stupid nickname Max." James said rudely to Deeks and Sam knew that this guy was one to watch out for.

"Well don't that make two of us." Deeks said back as he looked at James.

"Well come on now big boy. You know our names what's yours?" Scar said to Sam.

"Ranger." Sam answered.

"That's your name? Damn your parents must have hated you." Twitch said and you could tell her was higher than a kite.

"Lucy in the sky." Deeks said with a smirk.

"I told you he's a little drug head." Scar said with a laugh. "How the fuck did you get the name Ranger?" Scar asked Sam.

"Nickname I got in prison. I used to be in the military." Sam said.

"Military man in prison, let me guess drugs?" James said.

"Weapons. I got sick of Uncle Sam screwing me over. So I would steal weapons off from bases and sell them. Some bitch ratted me out during a sale did two years."

"Only two years? Scar asked.

"I got out on good behavior." Sam said with a smirk.

"Muscles like that I would get out to. Try being a skinny white guy in jail. You never get out on good behaviour." Rabbit said.

"What the fuck did you do to get in jail Max? You barely ever get caught." Scar said.

"Weapons possession. Did a year been out for four months."

"Four months and you're just coming to see me now. I'm insulted Max. Where did you meet your friend here?" Scar asked.

Deeks knew that Scar would be asking a lot of questions and Deeks was prepared for that.

"He was in my cell block. An old rival gang was in the same cell block as me. Four months ago all ten of them jumped me. Ranger jumped in to help me out. I spent the last week of my stay in the infirmary. We became friends and he just got out a few days ago." Deeks said.

"You saved my boy?" Scar asked Sam.

"I had seen him around and I could tell something was going to go down. So I followed and jumped in. Ten against one isn't fair odds to me."

"So after a week now you are friends?" James said skeptically.

"We knew each other in prison. We were in the same cell block dumbass. We've had conversations in the past and he spent the week with me in the infirmary making sure I was alright." Deeks said.

"I can see your wrist is messed and the bruising. Is that from what happened?" Twitch asked.

"Ya, stabbed nine times and had my jaw broken in six places. If Ranger hadn't showed I would have been dead." Deeks said with darkness to his voice.

"That's brutal man." Rabbit said.

"I've known Max since he was fourteen; he's like a little brother to me. You saved his life so that makes you a friend of mine. He's made a lot of enemies over the years thanks for looking out for him." Scar said to Sam.

"He's like a brother to me now two. I'd die to protect him." Sam said as he looked at Deeks and Deeks could actually see that Sam was telling the truth.

"Let's get some drinks then. I got two boys out of jail it's time to celebrate." Scar said.

Scar waived a waitress over and took their order. Once Sam and Deeks had their drinks Deeks kept the conversation light. He didn't want to just dive right into the conversation about the cartel and Deeks didn't know if the other three knew about it. Scar was a smoker so Deeks figured he would get him outside. The bar was getting busier the closer it got to the later hours and Deeks was starting to feel anxious. Deeks was just sipping on his beer, because he was driving and he didn't want to get drunk. Sam was doing the same. Twitch had pulled out a small baggie with white powder in it and started to divide some up into lines.

"Who wants another hit?" Twitch asked.

"I'll do one." James said.

"Same." Scar said.

"Hit me." Rabbit said.

"Ranger, Max?" Twitch asked.

"I'm good." Sam said.

"Max you seem like the type to powder your nose." James said.

"I don't do that shit. No point in selling if you're just gonna snort the product away." Deeks said.

"You sell?" Twitch asked.

"Used to." Deeks said back.

"Max does a little bit of everything. That's why he's good to have around. He can do anything and if he can't he can find someone that can." Scar said.

The four of them did their lines and they had a few more beers. Sam and Deeks only had two and they could tell that James was watching them like a hawk. The bar was getting busier and the music was getting louder. Deeks was moving around more in his seat and Sam knew he was reaching his limit. It was almost one in the morning and Sam was worried that they wouldn't be able to get in tonight. Deeks had yet to bring it up so that told Sam that he didn't know these two guys.

"You don't drink much eh." James said to Deeks.

"I'm driving." Deeks said back.

"He never drinks much. His daddy was a mean drunk." Scar said.

"You telling everyone my personal shit Scar." Deeks said with a dark tone.

"Sorry man; didn't mean anything by it. I'm gonna go for a smoke come with me I got something I want to talk to you about." Scar said as he got up.

Deeks looked at Sam and Sam knew that this was it.

"I'll be right back." Deeks said to Sam.

Sam just gave a nod and kept his eyes on Deeks as he left the bar with Scar. Sam saw Deeks and Scar standing in front of one of the small windows out front. He wouldn't be able to hear what they were saying, but he could at least see Deeks.

Deeks leaned against the window sill and Scar lit up a smoke. Deeks hated smoking, but he had gotten used to the smell from being undercover so much over the years.

"You working?" Scar asked once he had a puff of his cigarette.

"Here and there. Nothing solid yet. I've been healing these past four months. I haven't been out much."

"You don't seem too okay with everything."

"I'll be fine in time."

"Ranger a good guy?"

"He is. I know he's ex-military, but he's solid. He understands the chain of command and what loyalty means."

"I'm working for this cartel that's new to L.A. They're looking for members. Its small stuff like running drugs, but if you and your boy want in it pays good." Scar whispered.

"You know I don't like small time shit." Deeks said hoping to get more information out of Scar.

"I know, but it's a start. I like just running, but the boss is looking for more guys to move on up. H's always got something crazy planned and he could use your connections on the street to help get the right guys for the job. Your boy there must know a lot about military bases and weapons. I know the boss would like that."

"I don't know man. I don't know if Ranger would go for that. Let me talk to him about it and get back to you." Deeks said coolly.

"Well tomorrow some of the higher guys are having a party. So if you want to move up the chain then you should come."

"Where is it?"

"The boss rented out Overtime for us all."

"Down on Jackson?" Deeks asked.

"Ya that place. It's real nice and the boss is even paying for all the drinks."

"Nice boss."

"He's great to work for. The cartel is huge and he is loaded. The runners keep half of the profits they make that day from selling the drugs. He keeps us happy. It's a good job and you and your boy would be good. Think about it man."

"Ya I will and I'll talk to Ranger about it and see what he thinks. I'm not sure it's his thing, but I'll ask."

"He like making money? I've made three grand this month already just from running drugs for a few hours a day. You can't beat that. But maybe you want to be on the straight and narrow now. You could go flip burgers I suppose." Scar laughed at his own joke.

"I ain't flipping no burgers. This life is the only one I know and I'm damn good at it. What's the cartel's name?"

"Some Spanish name. It means Satan's Angels I know that. Even if you don't want in at least come to the party and get drunk for free." Scar said with a smile.

"I'll probably come and see you. I'll think about joining. I want to meet some of them first and then I'll decide."

"You never do anything without thinking it all through Maxie." Scar said with a smirk.

"That's why you always end up in jail and I rarely get caught. Even when I do they can never get me for anything serious." Deeks smirked back.

"Ya, ya, ya, let's get back inside."

"I'm gonna head home. I'll speak to Ranger before I go."

"You used to be a partier. What happened to you?"

"I almost died four months ago. I'm still in pain from it. I got these metal plates in my mouth still for a few more weeks until they can come out. I'm on pain meds two so I'm tired a lot of the time now." Deeks said honestly.

"That sucks man. Go rest up then. I'll see you tomorrow at the party."

"Definitely."

Deeks and Scar walked back inside. Scar sat back down, but Deeks didn't.

"I'm gonna head out. You good?" Deeks asked Sam.

"Ya I was gonna head out to." Sam said as he got up.

"Leaving so soon?" James asked.

"Been a long day." Deeks said.

"You need anything you got my number." Scar said.

"Thanks man. I'll be fine."

"Hope to see you again Ranger." Scar said to Sam.

"I'm sure we will."

Scar held his hand out and Sam shook it. Deeks and Sam left the bar and as they were walking towards the cars Deeks whispered.

"Just follow me."

Sam headed to his car and they both took off down the street. Deeks drove for a few minutes and went down a few different blocks. Once he was certain no one was following him, besides Sam, he pulled over down an alley. Sam pulled up behind him and got out of the car. He went into the passenger side of Deeks' car and sat down. Sam looked at Deeks and could see him shaking slightly. Deeks closed his eyes and took a few deep breathes to calm down.

"You okay?" Sam asked with worry in his voice.

"Ya I'm good. That wasn't so bad."

"No problems came up. How was it for you to be in the bar with the people and loud music?"

"It was hard, but it wasn't too bad. It's different when I'm with someone I know in a crowd then when I'm alone."

"That makes sense. If you are with someone you know and trust, than you don't have to worry as much. You know that person has your back. When you are alone it's just you if something happens. It will get better Deeks with time."

"I know. There's a party tomorrow night at Overtime. It's a middle class bar. Apparently the boss of the cartel rented it for the night and is paying for the drinks. A lot of lower fish are going to be there, but higher fish will be there as well. Scar invited us to come and to join the cartel. Apparently the boss is looking for higher fish with valuable skills. I told him I would talk to you about it and come see him tomorrow. I never said I would join, just that I wanted to meet some of the higher fish first before I decide."

"What did you say about me?"

"I told him I didn't know if that was your thing. I said I would speak to you about it and see. He likes you because he thinks you kept me safe in prison for Scar that's enough."

"You two seem close."

"It's weird. Growing up I had Ray and he always knew my real name and who I was. We grew up together. Even when he took a different path than me he never told anyone I was a lawyer and he never told anyone I was a cop. Even when I would go undercover as Max he played along. He's my brother. With Scar it's weird, because he knows Max and he looks at Max like a little brother. He's protective of Max and knows him. So it's weird, because we are close, but he's not close to me he's close to Max. It's confusing and it gets hard at times to remember that he doesn't know me and if he did he would hate me, because I'm a cop. All he will ever know is this made up person."

"I couldn't imagine having to be two people like you. I've been undercover, but that's only for a little while. With Max you keep having to go back to him all the time. That can't be easy."

"It's not. I made Max up when I was younger to protect myself on the streets. I never expected for that person to keep following me. I know we might have to arrest Scar in all of this, but that doesn't make it easier. He did protect me growing up on the street. He taught me how to fight. He taught me how to read people and how to survive. Between him and Ray they taught me everything I needed to know. This one time I was fifteen and I stole a car and picked Scar up. We got pulled over by the cops and I pulled down an alley. He told me to get out and run. I thought he was coming with me, but he didn't. He moved over to the driver side and took the hit. He was gone for six months and when I finally saw him he said that's what older brothers do. He's a criminal, but he's not all bad."

"Criminals have morals just like everyone else. It's the same thing in prison why the child molester gets attacked. Criminals are people and they won't stand for certain things. He genuinely seems to care about you, even if he doesn't know the real you."

"Ya" Deeks let out a sigh. "Did Twitch, Rabbit or James say anything to you when I was out with Scar?"

"Not much. Twitch was pretty high to even think of how to speak. James is interesting. He asks a lot of questions and he doesn't seem to believe any of the answers."

"The bar has cameras we should see if Eric and Nell can find out more about him. He could be a scout for the cartel."

"You think whoever is in charge has scouts working for him?"

"It's possible. The boss would stand out so he sends in someone that would blend in. Someone that can ask questions and someone that you can open up to, especially drunk and high. You want to know who is working for you and what people are saying there wouldn't be a better way to do it."

"We should go in tomorrow and talk about all of this. We can have them try and find out who he is."

"We should get going. I'm sure Michelle is wondering where you are."

"Are you okay to drive?"

"I only had two beers."

"That's not what I meant."

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?" Sam asked with concern.

"I'm fine Sam. I'll see you tomorrow."

Sam gave a nod and got out of the car and headed back into his. Deeks pulled out his cell phone and called the one person he needed more than ever. After two rings she picked up.

"Deeks?"

"Hey, sorry did I wake you?"

"No I was waiting for your call. How did it go?"

"It was fine. Sam and I are in if we want. There's a party tomorrow night that we got invited to. So it's a start, but we're in for now."

"Good. Was Sam okay with you or was he an ass?"

"He's fine. We talked before we left and we worked it out I think. He told me why he was this way with me and I think we can start over. He wants to and so do I. I don't want to be mad all the time. It would be nice to be friends with him. It would make working together easier."

"Good. I'm glad you two are working it out. Are you home?"

"Not yet. You want to come over?" Deeks asked softly.

"I'll be ready in ten."

"I'll be there soon then."

"Bye"

Deeks hung up his phone and then started to drive towards Kensi's apartment. She was always able to make him feel better. He really did love her and he knew she loved him. Deeks was just hoping that one day they would be able to act upon that love and be in a relationship. All Deeks had to do was get his head on straight first. Deeks drove to Kensi's apartment and when he pulled up she was waiting out front for him. She was in sweat pants and a tank top; clearly she was lying in bed waiting for his call. He pulled up and she ran over to the car and got into the passenger side.

"Hey partner." Kensi smiled.

"Hey Fern." Deeks smiled back as he put the car into drive and started to drive towards his apartment. Tomorrow he would be at the NCIS apartment, but for tonight he would be home.

"So it went well tonight?"

"Ya it was fine."

"How were you with the bar and the people?"

"It was alright. Sam was right beside me so that helped. It got a little harder closer to the end when the bar was full. It was weird seeing Scar again after so long."

"Well you knew him from growing up. I would imagine that would be awkward and hard, because you're a cop now."

"It is hard. I know he might end up being arrested, but that doesn't make it any easier. We were friends and he's still a friend of Max. He's a criminal, but he's always been really great with Max, with me. I don't know I sound like a crazy person."

"No you sound like a person that at a young age was forced to be two different people. Deeks, you created Max to survive on the street. Of course it's confusing for you. For four years you were that person, than you went back to being you and then back to being him over and over again for operations. How could that not be confusing? You're living two lives with two different personalities, jobs and friends. It makes sense that for you as Marty Deeks you don't like what Scar stands for and is doing. Just like it makes sense that for you as Max you understand Scar and see him completely differently than everyone else. This would be confusing for anyone."

"I'm just tired of it, ya know? Constantly being different people and doing things I would never do, but I don't have a choice if I don't want to get made I have to do it. Before you guys I thoughts that's all I'll ever be good at and I was happy with it. I was happy to be different people and live the life. I didn't have to worry about anyone missing me if I died. I didn't have to worry about a relationship and trying to explain to someone that I would have to leave for months on end with no contact. Now I turn down operations. I'm happy to just be me and live my own life and not someone that was produced in a file. I don't know if I'm going to sign the papers, but after this operation I think I'm done being an undercover. The danger of it all just doesn't excite me anymore. I've seen a lot of horrible things and I've had to do a lot of horrible things. I can't really do it anymore."

"No one can blame you for that Deeks. You've gone undercover for months in places that most people would never go. You're arrest record is amazing, you should be proud of what you have done. Regardless of those papers you're a better agent then most of the ones we have now. Deeks there are a lot of agents working with cops in a police station, but you are the only cop working for an agency. That right there speaks louder than any title. If you can't do it anymore than you can't do it anymore and I don't think there is a single person that would be disappointed with you. You have been able to bring down cartels and gangs that most people wouldn't have survived the operation. You should be really proud Deeks."

"Thanks."

Deeks didn't know what to say to that. He was still having a hard time talking about his emotions and feelings. With Kensi it was a little easier, but that didn't make it easy all the time. He was just glad that for tonight he could have Kensi by his side before this operation started up fully. Deeks pulled up to his apartment and he parked on the side of the road like he always does. They got out of the car and headed upstairs. When Deeks opened the door Monty came right towards them. Kensi petted Monty and Deeks grabbed the leash to take him out real quick.

"I'm just gonna take him real quick. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Ok"

Deeks left Kensi in the apartment alone for the few minutes while he was gone with Monty. Kensi noticed that the apartment was very clean so Deeks' OCD had been in overdrive tonight. Kensi had seen it before over the last three months. When Deeks was getting more stressed out he would clean and keep everything in specific places. Kensi knew that if she moved something just slightly in the house Deeks would notice it and have to move it back. Kensi knew this came from him growing up so she wasn't going to mess with him. She could understand that this came from his childhood and it was a way to help him cope growing up. She wished she knew more about him and what he had gone through, but that was a conversation she could have with him later on. She was sure during this operation that she would have many questions for Deeks. Deeks came back in with Monty who was already off his leash. Deeks had been the one to train Monty and he was very well behaved. Deeks locked the door as Kensi spoke.

"Come on you need sleep." Kensi said as she grabbed Deeks' hand and lead him into the bedroom.

Them sharing a bed had been pretty common in the past three months. Kensi found that she needed to feel Deeks beside her and Deeks had found that he needed to hold Kensi at night. They both slept better when they were together and they both never said anything. The next morning wasn't awkward at all; they just got up and would go about their morning routines. They would get up, have breakfast and they would go for a surf. It was like they were living together only they weren't. Once in the bedroom Deeks grabbed a t-shirt and sweat pants and headed into the bathroom to get changed. Kensi didn't say anything she just crawled under the covers and waited for when Deeks would come back. Sure enough five minutes later Deeks was back in the bedroom all set for bed. He crawled under the covers next to Kensi and she instantly curled into his chest and he wrapped his arms around her. Deeks could already feel himself calming down and able to breathe again. Deeks knew that if he was going to survive this operation mentally he would need Kensi there.

"I think you should have an alias just in case. If you come by one night and someone else is there or someone shows in the morning. It might be good to have one just in case someone goes snooping around."

"That sounds like a good idea, because you are not getting rid of me that easily. I know Max isn't one for girlfriends, but we could just be sleeping with each other. That way I could be there for a party you have or just at night."

"We can talk to Hetty about it tomorrow."

"You need to sleep Deeks. Just close your eyes and relax. I'm right here."

Deeks held Kensi closer and he started to stroke her hair. He could feel her start to fall asleep so he closed his eyes and just enjoyed the feeling while it lasted. He knew tomorrow they would be working for the party tomorrow night and Deeks had to be ready for it. He had to make sure Sam would be ready for it. For tonight though, he would just enjoy having the woman he loves sleeping wrapped up in his arms.